Roque grabbed the edge of ZjoZjo’s table, and his fingers dug into the cheap plastic, denting it in anger. “You must be new around here, young lady. Because otherwise you wouldn’t dare attempt this blatant insult. You see, every common that these suckers have… belongs to me. They just don’t know it yet.”
“By taking money from them, you’re stealing it from me. Is that a line you want to cross? If you want to sell here, you’ve got to earn my respect. And you’d be foolish to think it comes easy. If you don’t think you can manage that, then pack up and leave right now.” The man then dug into his pocket and pulled out his suddenly vibrating phone. “Lucky for you, I have a business call. But I’ll be watching.”
Roque left as quickly as he came, leaving ZjoZjo wondering what the hell had just happened. Should she take his threat seriously? By all the rumors she’d heard about him, he was supposedly a genuinely good guy, though he’d always deny those claims. Perhaps it was meant to be some sort of teachable moment. There was no way he could actually feel threatened by some kid selling muffin tops, could he?
And then there was Mallea’s threat. That was certainly genuine. If she left because of Roque, then she could never come back. And while she’d hopefully accomplished her goal, at this point, the girl honestly wanted to see how far she could go. So she decided to hunker down, at least for now. If the man came back, she might lose her nerve, but perhaps she could make a few more sales before then.
“Oh, what you sellin there lil’ miss?” Itsy Humdiddy had emerged from the restaurant and was immediately lured to the table.
ZjoZjo smiled again since her location couldn’t be any better. She talked up the muffin tops as she had several times already, making them sound as tempting as possible.
“Well, I just ate, but I guess I can take a box to snack on later while I’m working,” Itsy picked out one of the least popular flavors.
ZjoZjo saw this as a chance to really boost her sales, so she then dug hard into her spiel about charity.
“Well, if it’s for good cause, I ‘spose I can put in a order.” Itsy filled out the card and then handed it over to the girl.
But the PrePioneer could only grimace at the low quantity. “I’m not quite sure that this would be enough to satisfy a woman of your stature. It would barely last you a few days, even. Might I suggest adding an extra 0 or two to the end.”
“Well, that’s not very kind of you to bring my size into this,” Itsy’s friendly smile quickly turned into a sad frown. “And I been trying to watch what I eat, actually. That’ll be enough, thank you.” The large women turned around, lumbering a great distance with each step.
“Wait, you should at least take a few more boxes to enjoy until your order comes in!” ZjoZjo called after her, at least hoping to sell a few of her current stock that may not move otherwise.
“No thank you!” Itsy called back, hurrying her pace to get away from the persistent sales tyke.
“Pff-ffa-ahahaha, holy zjik that was terrible, ZjoZjo,” Roque slid out of the shadows, right back to ZjoZjo’s side. “I told you I’d be watching, didn’t it? And yes, I looked up your name,” he answered preemptively when he saw her surprise. “To think you made it here with those skills. Itsy should have been a slam dunk.”
He then got closer and peered at the order card. “Ah, here’s your problem,” the man slammed his finger next to the address line. “Take a good look. That address isn’t even in Segrevide, is it? She made that order for her family. Which if you knew the first thing about her, that should have been obvious.”
“Hell, even if you don’t know her personally, you should have been able to figure it out. Most people only see Itsy’s size when they first meet her, completely ignoring who she is as a person. One good look and you can tell that she’s a hardworking family woman. I’d even go so far as to say that it vastly overshadows her stature if you actually take stock of who she is.”
“But you only took her physicality into account. While she’s used to such comments, still having someone point them out and even try to leverage them is a sore spot for her. Like it would be if I were to comment about your small size or childish appearance. I’m sure you use your innocent looks to your advantage sometimes, but you’d still prefer that people treated you more like an adult—treated you with the advanced intellect you clearly possess.”
“To make a good sale, you just have to know who you’re dealing with. Once you know what to exploit, all it takes is a little lip service. I could tell you were trying, but down the completely wrong path. Observe before you speak, it will save you from sputtering nonsense that will cost you everything.”
“If you had gone the family route with Itsy, you’d be sitting pretty right now. Something like ‘Oh, if you sent them a whole bunch, they’d know you love them that much more! Wouldn’t that really surprise them or put a smile on their faces?!’ That would have gotten you at least an order a hundred times larger—a Personson guarantee.”
“But seeing you fail like that, you really took the wind out of my anger. Though it also makes me want to show you just how far the gap between us is. Here, give me a box, and I’ll show you how it’s done.” The man handed out his hand expectantly.
“Uhhh, no.” ZjoZjo staunchly refused.
“No, what do you mean, no?!” Roque looked almost insulted. “I’m about to give you a business lesson that even millionaires would pay out the ass to hear, and you’re telling me no?!”
“If you’re so rich, then you can afford a box,” the girl dug in her heels, almost feeling a little smug that she’d gotten him so flustered.
“It’s not about the cost, it’s about the profit!” he refuted. “I don’t care about the price of a single box of muffin tops. It’s literally costing me more to say this sentence than it would be for me to buy it. But if I bought it from you at the already marked up price, then I’d lose money when I went to sell it.”
“Even the best damned salesman in the world can’t extort people when the exact same item is sitting right next to them for cheaper. People are stupid, but not that stupid… mostly. Not to mention that you win out on appearance compared to me, and you’ve got your whole charity spiel so they’d likely gravitate to you as well. They wouldn’t choose the greedy adult over the cute goodie-goodie kid. No, I’d have to undercut you, and that’d be a definitive loss.”
“And if there’s one principle that Roque Personson stands by, it’s that I never lose money. Doesn’t matter if it’s a single cent, I’m making a profit. So at least give me a box at a discount. It’d be the best discount of your life from what you stand to gain!”
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Nuh uh,” the girl didn’t budge.
“Ooo, I bet you think you’re pulling one over on Ole Roque here. Does it make you feel good, feel big, treating the richest man in the world like they’re beneath you? I bet it does, because I’d do the exact same thing. I’m starting to enjoy you, kid, you got a strong spine. And you’ll need that in the world of sales.”
“But also don’t think that you’ve accomplished anything,” the man scowled. “Because I had already prepared for this eventuality. A free lesson on top of what I was already going to give you: what matters most as a merchant isn’t what you’re selling, who you’re selling to, or even if you make any sales. It’s all about connections.”
“Become friendly with the right people, and that’s all you need to succeed.” Just then a truck pulled up, clearly breaking several rules by driving off road and down a civilian path. The vehicle backed right up to the two of them, stopping just a few feet away from knocking over ZjoZjo’s table.
A few workers in jumpsuits popped out the back once the shutter had slid open. They slid out a palette of PrePioneer brand muffin tops and placed it on the ground. But that wasn’t the end of it. They also pulled out a table, signage, and a luxury chair. Roque plopped down in the seat once it was all set up before him. The workers stacked a few of the boxes nicely on the table in front of him and then departed, all in under two minutes.
“And that’s what connections will get you,” the Fiend was clearly pleased with himself. “Before you claim that this was due to my wealth, let me tell you that this didn’t cost me a single common. It was purchased entirely on good will alone. Just one measly text to a friend of mine was all it took. So every box I sell will be pure profit for me, and in turn, if I make any orders, the supplier I used will profit as well while I take a slight commission. A risk to them for sure to front the cost, but an easy gamble.”
“So let’s find us a sucker.” Roque held up both hands and made a frame with his fingers. “Ah there we go. Rezin, come here a moment. Let me talk to you!”
To ZjoZjo’s surprise, a boy suddenly popped into existence right in front of her. He seemed even more surprised than she was that someone had noticed him, looking like he’d hoped to walk down the path without garnering a single glance. “Uhh, what’s up, Roque?” The boy still complied and came over. “Selling muffin tops?”
“Yeah, you want any?” the girl was surprised by how casual and non-pushy the salesman was acting. Maybe that had to do with knowing their audience like he’d said. The boy did seem rather timid, so pressure would only scare him off.
“Uhh, sure I’ll take two boxes, I guess,” Rezin picked out two flavors. “They look like they’d be good to eat while gaming. Can do it with one hand and not too messy.”
“Oh, yeah, speaking of gaming,” Roque’s tone suddenly shifted, laced with much more intonation and greed. “We’re actually holding a special promotion right now.” The man slid a small flyer out of his pocket. “Buy a thousand boxes, and you get this code for some pet in a game. It’s one you play, right? If I remember correctly.”
“Uhh, yeah, I do play that,” the boy’s words were still weak, but his eyes doubled in size. “That’s uhh, a very very rare pet. That shouldn’t exist actually. The developers only ever sent out five of the codes, so I would have sworn they’d all have been claimed by now. How… how exactly did you get that?”
“Ehh, don’t remember,” Roque shrugged as if it was something insignificant. “But do you think you’re interested? A thousand boxes is a lot, I know.”
“Yeah, it is…” the boy seemed to be doing some mental calculations
“Well, if you don’t want it, I’ve got a friend I know who collects these things. He’d probably just buy it outright without even taking the muffin tops. Oh, and I did also have this code for double experience for a week. I could add that in as well if that’s something you want.”
“Deal!” Rezin quickly signed his name on the already filled out order form. He then grabbed his two boxes along with the two flyers and scampered back to his room, clearly canceling whatever other plans he had for the day.
“Alright, that one was a little unfair,” Roque chuckled, glancing over at ZjoZo who was clearly bewildered by the whole transaction. “I get zjik like that sent to me all the time, all part of those connections I was talking about. It’s worthless to me, but everything has worth to someone. I even know a little fluffball I could and have sold literal trash to, so I never throw away anything that I can use to exploit someone else.”
“But you don’t have those resources, yet at least. Life’s simply unfair in that way, but only if you let it be. I’m guessing you’re competing against children with some unfair advantages like rich family members. They don’t even have to try. Unlike you who has to work your butt off, though you at least had the smarts and gumption to come here. In a way, you could say that your intelligence is an unfair advantage over the rest.”
“And before you ask, no, I won’t be that rich family member for you. Though I do like the sound of being called Rich Uncle Roque. But you’re too green, kid. You may have potential, but you’re not getting a sale from me. It’s too early to make any monetary investment into you. Like I said, gotta earn respect first before I’ll even let you make any more sales.”
“So let’s move on. This time I’ll make a sale from words alone, no incentives. Hmm, and there’s a prime candidate now.” Roque pulled a small device out of his pocket, no bigger than his finger. “And don’t call this cheating, now. I’m not doing anything extra with it, I just don’t want to strain my voice. Got some big presentations later.”
“Ahem,” he cleared his throat and pressed a button on the device. ZjoZjo had no way of knowing the exact specifications, but it was a sound amplifier, enhanced with a speck of the Fiend Egawo’s blood. This let Roque control the volume and exact location where the sound would be enhanced, as to not annoy everyone around them.
“Hey you! Yes you, with the hangover!” To ZjoZjo, it just sounded like Roque speaking normally, though she could tell there was some audio distortion located around his victim. The person in question was a woman who had been walking towards the gym. She immediately slammed both of her hands against her ears and reared her body in anguish.
After she realized where the noise was coming from, she stormed over in anger. “What the mawhg do you want, Roque?!” Nachi looked like she was a single twitch away from stabbing him in the chest.
“Not much, just wanted to say hello on this fine morning,” he flashed her his trademark smile. “We’re selling muffin tops, and I thought you could use a box. They’d be perfect for that hangover of yours.”
Nachi’s anger only grew, to the point that she was visibly fuming, but then she took a deep breath. “Just one box?” She asked with clear annoyance in her voice.
“Just one,” the man reiterated.
“Fine,” she pulled out her Common Card. “Whatever it takes to get you to shut the hell up.” After the transaction completed, she grabbed her box and marched away. Though she only made it a few steps, having opened the packaging and took a bite. “Y’know what, these aren’t too bad. Stock the gym with them, Roque.” She then stuffed the rest in her mouth and gave them a half-hearted wave as walked away.
“Stock the gym, huh,” Roque filled out an order card. “Let’s see, we’ll say a simple order of six thousand boxes. That should fill the stockroom to bursting.” He then forged Nachi’s signature, to clear disapproval of the girl sitting next to him, having broken one of the main rules of the PrePioneers fundraiser.
“Hey don’t look at me like that, kid. The customer gets what the customer wants. Are you going to pester them to come back and sign it after they’ve given you the green light? Rules are flexible. And anyone who pesters you about it will shut up when they see how much you’ve sold.”
“But let’s get down to business. I’ve given you two fantastic lessons right there, and I hope you were paying attention. Because I’m no longer your tutor. Now, I’m your rival. Whoever comes up next, we’ll both try to sell to them. Whoever makes the sale, wins. If you make a single sale over me, then you’ll have earned my respect. So show me what you’ve got, ZjoZjo.”