Deborah was the first presenter. She mostly just gave out a bunch of numbers, like how many jobs they’d done, completion rates, average time it takes, etc. For the Fiends in the yellow room, it sounded like just another boring meeting to them, but the fans listening were deeply enthralled.
“That is only just a taste,” Deborah gave them a teaser. “If you’d like to hear more, you can come to my panel later today called ‘Being a Human in the Fiends For Hire’. I’ll be joined by the other human staff members as we discuss our times there, and go deep into the business side of things as well as dealing with self-imposed inadequacy.” She got quite the round of applause as she exited the stage.
“Now before we move on, we have a brief interstitial!” Valen informed the audience, and two of her portals made of Phon’s blood appeared. Fortunately, they wouldn’t know the truth behind it, and would just think of them as regular portals—no idea how they were made.
A small train rolled across the stage, Rishaki sitting as the conductor. Behind her on the train cars were priceless antiques, pottery, and jewelry that were all well protected in glass cases. “Ahaha, you poor people,” she didn’t hold back. “Look at all this wealth and wonderful trinkets being a Fiend has gotten me. Stolen by the Fiends For Hire, or swindled from fools like you.”
“All of it is for me, and none of it is for you!” Rishaki gave a piercing haughty laugh. “Well maybe I am feeling a bit generous. Sometimes you just need to share your wealth, let the people know what they’re missing, so they can aspire to something even greater!”
She picked up a small chest, flipped the lid, and aimed the opening towards the crowd. A confetti of knick knacks poured out and rained over the room. There were antique coins, jewels, rings, anything small enough to be of value that one could fit easily into their pocket. The bits that could be sharp or dangerous were pre-wrapped in bubble packaging so the audience wouldn’t be hurt by the rain of rarities.
In truth, it must have mostly been junk in Rishaki’s eyes—things she viewed as worthless or had too much of and was probably planning to throw away. This was an easy way to relocate it to someone who would truly value it, and give the Fiendcon goers an invaluable memory. Those who presented themselves as the most selfish often had the most generous hearts among the group.
“I hope you all enjoyed that surprise!” Valen waved the train goodbye. “Our next speaker is Tize Scound. The newest general of the group and the only reported case of a Lesser turning into a Fiend after the fact.”
Tize came on and spoke for a bit. He retold the story about the Wowl and how he’d turned into a Fiend, since that was what most of the audience wanted to hear. But he also delved into the differences between military and mercenary life and what it had been like shifting his lifestyle when he joined the Fiends For Hire. The audience listened intently, and he probably could have hosted an entire panel on his own.
“Now without further ado, and what you’ve all been waiting for, the four Greater Fiends of the Fiends For Hire!” The applause as they took the stage was unruly to the point that it almost looked like their hands would break or bleed from non stop clapping, or their vocal cords would strain or tear from all the cheering and hollering. “Hey Drim, you should do the thing or this will just keep happening.”
“Ugh, really?” Drim groaned as he took his seat. “Fine,” he conceded when it really didn’t stop. ❝Settle down.❞
A wave of calm and quiet washed over the crowd, and they all sat unmoving and orderly in their seats as if they’d be scolded if they moved an inch out of line. But that didn’t remove the smiles from their faces.
“So here’s how this will go,” Valen of course took the role as moderator. “We have a few mics set up around the room. If you have a question, go ahead and line up at one of the stands and we’ll rotate the turn order. Try to keep your questions as simple and short as possible with a clear path to an answer—no hypotheticals, riddles, or anything that takes a lot of thought.”
“We want to get through as many questions as possible within the time. If I believe your question is out of line or doesn’t follow the guidelines, I will have it skipped, but the Greaters are allowed to skip them as well if they wish. If your question is rejected, sorry, but you’ll have to return to your seat. No arguing, no second chances, no takebacksies. Alright, first question!”
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Q1: We all have a good idea of what your main hobbies are, but what have you been interested in or doing specifically lately in your free time?
Drim: “Free time, what’s that?” Drim huffed which got a laugh out of the audience. “But I’ve been reading the Self-Summon series lately whenever I have a minute.”
Phon: “I’ve been trying to master the perfect meat bun so Drim can conveniently enjoy my cooking on the go.”
Xard: “Honestly, ever since that experience at the Wandering Souls Circus where Rallie’s troupe tried to kill us, I’ve been trying to master juggling. I find the technique of it pretty transitive to my power, so it’s been very helpful in practicing control. Now I’ve gotten to the point that I can do it without thinking while watching something. If someone has something I could juggle, I’d be happy to demonstrate.”
Valen scrambled to grab a few things from the audience, mostly the small rarities that Rishaki had thrown out earlier, but also quite a few orbs that someone had in their purse for their Kada cosplay. Xard took the items and began juggling them masterfully. After a few seconds of the crowd enjoying the spectacle, the questions continued while he continued to juggle through several of them.
Kada: “Right now I’m spending all my time at Mermaid’s Reef, the resort, water park, and animal/monster sanctuary coming soon! You all should totally visit if you can. And you’re also welcome to hold the next Fiendcon there!”
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Q2: Something I’ve always been curious about. Way back when you guys first went public, that interview with Clint Crihound. It seemed out of nowhere and provided a crazy amount of information about Fiends that you could have kept to yourselves and leveraged. Was it a business decision, or why did you do it?
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Phon: “I’d say the best way to promote your business is to let the customer know exactly what they’re getting.”
Drim: “And I’ll add that sometimes it’s best to explain things concisely to stop potentially damaging rumors and the spread of misinformation.”
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Q3: What are the best and worst jobs you’ve done as part of the group?
Kada: “I’d still probably say the best one was when we robbed all those banks. That trip was so much fun. And for the worst… slugroaches.
Drim: “It’s hard to think of specific ones, since we do so many, it’s all kind of a blur. But the worst is any time we have to kill someone, and the best is anytime we genuinely get to help someone.”
Xard: “Similarly to Drim, it’s hard to pick one, but I’m partial to any where we’re bringing criminals to justice that would otherwise skirt the legal system. For instance, we just took down one of the biggest human and Fiend trafficking rings in the world that were also performing experiments on them. I can’t speak too much on it still, but you’ll probably see some of those Fiends around here today that would otherwise still be stuck in a nightmare.”
“As for ones I don’t like, well I can say that I’m not a fan of those where we’re exploited for someone else’s amusement.” His eyes wandered over to Valen.
Phon: “My favorite is still our very first where we robbed the Cotagerie museum. Just me and Drim having fun and knocking the police down a peg. It really can’t get better than that. The worst is any where I’m partnered with an idiot, which happens far too often.”
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Q4: This one’s for Xard. How come you don’t have your outfit match your hair and eye colors like the rest of the group? I mean, you sort of do with your banner, but the rest doesn’t match the theme.
Xard: “Because it’s stupid and I hate it.”
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Q5: If you could have any other Curse, which would you pick?
Xard: “I’d actually probably say Valen’s because of all the utility.”
Kada: “Wow, that’s such a tough question. Maybe Rezin’s because of how much it’s based on creativity, or Niloy’s because it’s also water and melting themed so it wouldn’t be too much of a change. Oh or Drim’s to make a lot of plant friends, and in a similar vein, Jaid’s so I’d never be lonely. Honestly, I want them all!”
Phon: “Easy answer, Tize’s because it’s the best support Curse, and I’d only partner with Drim while using it.”
Drim: “You know I’m actually going to say Itsy’s. Because she’s strong without one and doesn’t have to worry about it.”
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Q6: Everyone here adore’s Pox, but he just seemed to appear in the group out of nowhere. Could you tell us how you found him? And he doesn’t seem like other monsters, any theories about his origins or why he acts like he does?
Drim: “Pretty simple, I found him digging through the trash in Pimitrad. After saving him from some monsters, he wanted to come with me, and we’ve been attached ever since. As for the rest, we really aren’t sure. And he’s been deftly able to avoid Ahvra who wants to study him. But the real answer is it doesn’t really matter where he comes from. He’s part of our family and we love him all the same.”
Kada: “Yeah, my working theory is that he’s an alien.”
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Q7: If you could date any other Fiend, who would it be? And not someone else at that table, because that would be too obvious. We’ll say it can be extended to Lessers as well.
Kada: “Hmm, maybe Laurim since we’re pretty close, or Niloy since we’ve been becoming really good gal pals. Or actually maybe Alk from Above. I think I’ve been able to see a side of her that she never shows to anyone else.”
Xard: “Haven’t given it much thought, but just based on appearance I’d probably lean towards someone like Tize or Lieu from Above. They’re more my usual type.”
Phon: “I really don’t have any interest, but I guess I’d say Roque, but probably not for the reasons you think. I believe it would be a rather fun and enjoyable challenge to try and lead him into financial ruin.”
Drim: Everyone else had answered pretty quickly so all eyes could stare straight at him. “I’m going to get in trouble no matter who I say, so I’m going to pick someone unexpected; Nachi. She’d really have no interest in me at all romantically, and we’d get some good sparring in.”
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Q8: If you had to kill any other Fiend, who would it be?
Valen: “I can only see that going down a wrong path or being taken the wrong way, so we’ll have to skip that one.”
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Q9: For Kada, how do you get your hair like that? It’s so bouncy and animated! I’m guessing part of it is the Fiend effect, but what products do you use to get so much volume?
Kada: “It’s all natural, baby! So I guess the answer to your question is just genetics. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful!”
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Q10: So the Central Peace has been nothing but aggressive to you guys. What with the stuff that happened with Sim and them trying to kill you all, and then the spy incident, and most recently the raid. But would you ever consider doing work with them, or is that bridge burned for good?
Xard: “We’ve actually done some light contract work for them. Kada helped out after a natural disaster and I’ve picked up some requests of theirs while out on the road. So far they’ve had no issue with us taking those, that we’ve seen anyways.”
Drim: “It would really depend on the type of work they’re asking for. One CP Rep actually did reach out to us of their own volition, saying they’d pay us if we turned ourselves in so that they could take the credit. We obviously turned that down, but if it's something mutually beneficial, I don’t see why we’d refuse.”
Phon: “I said it that night in Prosper and I’ll say it again. These Fiends are For Hire.” That got a particularly enthusiastic clamor from the crowd, whether she intended it or not.
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Q11: I apologize if this is still a sore subject, but speaking of the Central Peace, do you ever have any regrets or second thoughts about how things went down with Jaid? Before she was revealed as a spy, it seemed she was getting along quite well with the group, and was becoming rather popular among the fandom.
Drim: “Every day.”
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There were several more questions between those, most people just wanting confirmation for theories of theirs straight from the source. Not that many had to be skipped in the end, though a few fans had to have their questions forfeited because they were too nervous to ask them when the time came.
“Unfortunately, that’s all we have time for!” Valen wrapped up the panel. “However, we did just add a new Q&A section to the event app where you can ask additional questions and set it if you want it open to everyone or to specific people, even Fiends who aren’t in this panel. Check back regularly throughout the day to see new answers as they have freetime and if they’re up for it.”
“Thanks so much for attending, and I hope you enjoy the rest of Fiendcon 3!"