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Fiends For Hire [Anti-Hero Action/Slice of Life] (4,500+ Pages)
V3: Chapter 3 - Aggressive Hiring Practices | Part 1 - Hot in the Kitchen

V3: Chapter 3 - Aggressive Hiring Practices | Part 1 - Hot in the Kitchen

After only a couple of days of relaxing and recuperating at their mansion, the four Fiends were now all off on their own individual assignments. Each of them was to recruit someone beneficial to help run their day-to-day operations. The areas they anticipated themselves needing the most support were food-prep, clerical operations, and training.

Mallea would be able to take care of the first two on her own, but that would be too time consuming, and she wouldn’t be able to take care of much else. Instead, they wanted individuals dedicated to those tasks who could do them as assigned and on-demand. Plus, Mallea was less motivated to assist anyone the further removed they were from Drim, which could lead to a diminishing quality of care and attention for lower-ranking members.

Additionally, Ahvra requested another assistant. It mostly had to do with the billions of new files she had to sort through and analyze, since it was too much for one person, even with Ahvra’s inhuman work ethic. Also, ‘Assistant’ hadn’t been particularly assistive lately since he had his own projects to complete. It didn’t help that Nathym’s knowledge was more practical and engineering focused than theoretical and experimentative.

The group gathered together and brainstormed a pool of potential candidates, then ordered them based on hiring preference. Hopefully, their top candidates in each category would agree to being head-hunted, but they had a few solid backup choices as well. The top four were split among the group based on their location and personal history with the candidate. Then, they all set out.

◆◆◆

Since Xard’s candidate was near Constead, Kada dropped him off before heading into the city. She turned the Tourist back into a proper car before reaching the city limits since a flying vehicle would draw too much attention for such a low-key mission. The place she was going to wouldn’t open for about an hour, so she drove around the city for a bit.

The place was mostly the same. A few new restaurants had popped up, and sadly, her favorite hobby shop had been turned into a tanning salon. Kada eventually found her way back to their old apartment. To her surprise, it had been converted into a ticketed tourist destination run by the city. It was a good way for them to raise revenue to pay for the destruction the Fiends had caused, but she still felt bad for the other tenants that had to move out as a result.

Her stomach started to rumble which meant it was time to head to her destination. She hoped that they wouldn’t mind her arriving a bit before opening. Kada wanted to talk to them before things got busy anyways. She walked into the familiar back-alley restaurant and was immediately greeted by a bright beaming smile.

“Vank, honey, Kada’s here to see us!” The old woman called to the kitchen before stepping out from behind the counter. She slowly shuffled over to Kada and gave her a tight hug as if Kada was her own granddaughter.

“You better not be messing around again, Hazzle,” The old man strolled out of the kitchen carrying a pan he’d been greasing. “Oh, it really is you, Kada!” The old man tossed the pan aside flimsily as if it were a dish rag and rushed over to hug her too. “It’s good to see you! What do you want to eat?! You look hungry, I’ll just make you everything!”

Vank rushed back into the kitchen as quickly as he came. Kada decided it was best to wait on why she was here, since it’d require a serious talk with both of them. For now, she caught up with Hazzle while Vank cooked up a storm.

“Oh, I saw that bungling news woman say you were dead the other day. Some people can be so cruel, and she even tried to attack you. I’m glad you put her in her place. You’re so strong dear, have you been working out?” Hazzle seemed to not have a fundamental understanding of how Fiends worked, which Kada found a little endearing and a nice change of pace.

It didn’t take too long for Kada to realize that they’d only been talking about her endeavors, but found it hard to flip the subject without getting a barrage of new questions about herself. Eventually, she gave up and just went with the flow.

Hazzle also asked Kada at one point how to better use her Common Card, since she only knew the bare basics at the moment like how to check her money and pay with it. Once Kada explained a bit, Hazzle immediately tried to use it to gift her some ‘pocket money’, but Kada vehemently refused. It was a sweet gesture. However, Kada had more money than she knew what to do with at the moment.

Vank stumbled out of the kitchen shortly thereafter, carrying a mountain of meals in both arms. He slammed them down on the table and smiled proudly at the spread. “We’ve got a lot of new dishes, so I want to hear your opinion on all of them.” Hazzle took this opportunity to get up and flip the sign on the door, so they wouldn’t be interrupted. She then strolled into the kitchen to clean up after the mess her husband had assuredly left behind.

Kada happily started inhaling the food, having skipped breakfast this morning and dinner last night since she expected this to happen. Thankfully, unlike Hazzle who would bombard her with nonstop questions, Vank was someone who would talk non-stop whether the listener actively engaged him or not. It was no wonder they made a good couple.

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Vank started talking endlessly about the restaurant and its success, but Kada tuned out the first few minutes, savoring her meal. Mallea’s food was undeniably better, but there was something comforting about this old couple’s cooking. Eventually, Kada tuned back in, once she’d had a sampling of everything.

“So, we finally managed to hire some part-timers to help out. They’re not as nearly as helpful as you guys, though. They mostly handle the online ordering and some delivery. Did I tell you we got online ordering?! I don’t really get that stuff, but hey, if it makes our customers happy, I don’t mind it. Oh, I’ve got something to show you!” Vank practically leapt out of his chair and shuffled off as fast as he could, returning a minute later with something in hand.

“These just came in the mail the other day. We were still talking about where to hang them, so we hadn’t put them up yet.” Vank set down two plaques on what little space the table had left. “We’re a plaqued restaurant! Can you believe it? And not just one, but two! I don’t even know when the judges came. They must have come together if we got them together, right?”

“One’s for atmosphere, and the other is for nostalgic cooking. And it’s all thanks to you kids! Before you guys came, we were barely staying above water each month, but now we’re famous! Even that rat-bag Rony’s restaurant doesn’t have any plaques, and now we have two! Oh, I can’t wait to rub it in his face.” Kada had no idea who Rony was, but guessed that he’d slighted them in some way.

“We finally paid off the restaurant too! Hell, we could finally really retire if we wanted. Maybe even take that trip to Shindig we’ve always talked about.” It was around this time Hazzle rejoined them. “Oh, I just realized we never asked what you’re doing here. We may be starting to get a little senile, but we’ve got a feeling that you didn’t just pop on in for a meal.”

“Uhh yeah, about that,” Hearing about their success and happy life had made Kada hesitate and start to reconsider. “Well actually, I was originally going to ask if you wanted to come work for us, but—”

“Oh, that sounds lovely dear, we’d be delighted to!” Hazzle responded immediately.

“Should we go pack our things right now? It wouldn’t take long,” Vank didn’t miss a beat. “We just need to grab a few trinkets, and I need to change into my going-out clothes.”

“Wait wait wait, didn’t you decide too quickly?!” Kada pumped the brakes. “I didn’t even give you the full details. What about how successful the restaurant has been, or your retirement, or your plaques?”

“Oh, these crummy old things?” Vank picked up the plaques and dumped them into the garbage. “We don’t need them anymore.”

“What he means is that we just got the best offer from one of our most favorite people in the world,” Hazzle smiled at her. “Saying no was never an option for us.”

“Well, okay, if you’re sure…” Kada was honestly too blown away by their confidence to fight them on it. “We actually don’t need you guys to start for a few weeks, so you should take the time to pack thoroughly. I know that may not be enough time to sell your restaurant or even get an agent to take it over. If you want, we can buy it from you and take care of it later.”

“Oh, don’t mind the little details. They’re not important,” Vank assured her. “We’ll be working for the Fiends For Hire, so no one’s going to cause a fuss. Now, I’m going to head upstairs and get packing. Hazzle, you get Kada some dessert before she changes her mind and runs off.”

Hazzle did as instructed, leaving a befuddled Kada to stew in this reality. She had hoped that they’d agree to join, but things hadn’t gone even remotely as she’d expected them to. After a while, Vank returned downstairs in a change of clothes carrying two suitcases. “So, I was thinking while I was packing. Do you think we should torch this place for the insurance money?”

Kada was even more shaken at this idea. The couple continued to talk about it as if it were a legitimate plan for a few minutes. Eventually, Kada managed to get them to give up on it, unsure if they were just great at pulling her leg.

“Well, like I said, we’re not quite ready for you yet.” Kada reiterated. “The place where you’ll be working is done, so you could get acquainted there if you wanted, but we don’t really have a place for you to stay. There is a hotel in town, but I’ve heard it’s not the best. Oh, I know! Why don’t I take you guys to Shindig?”

“We may have to stop there on our way back anyways, so why don’t you guys use this chance to have that vacation you were talking about? It’ll be an all expenses paid trip from us. We can call it a sign-on bonus.”

“Sounds amazing! Our Kada is so sweet to us,” Hazzle had a calm smile, but it was easy to tell she was bursting with joy from her rosy cheeks.

“You kids really are the best. Now let me grab a few things from the kitchen and then we can head out.” Vank told them before wandering off. Kada pulled out her phone. She still hadn’t received word from Xard letting her know that he was ready for pickup. If he failed, he could simply fly back on his own. It’d be a long trek, but she thought it’d be funny to make him go all that way.

However, if he was successful, forcing him to carry someone would be unpleasant for both parties, so she was stuck for the time being. She wracked her brain about what she could do with the old couple to kill time and where they could go. For now, she figured it’d be best if they stuck around here. After all, she hadn’t given her thoughts on the food yet and could tell them more about the job.

That idea went up in smoke both figuratively and literally as Vank rushed out of the kitchen with a fancy mixer in hand. “So I decided to torch the place anyways,” Vank was surprisingly nonchalant about the whole ordeal. “Couldn’t leave old Mixy, though. We’ve been through too much together.”

Kada quickly rushed the couple out of the building and into The Tourist after grabbing their plaques from the trash, leaving no regrets for later. She immediately set it to hover mode and they took off vertically to get out of sight as fast as possible. This couple was crazy, more than any of the Fiends ever imagined, but it meant they’d fit right in.