DICE VS. MAMA BAMB
“The first fighter can cut you in half without even swinging a blade. Quite possibly the most lethal Fiend, he spends his days mostly helping around the compound, slicing and dicing whatever is needed; from wood to bandits, from monsters to pizza. The Symmetrical Slicer, Dice!”
“Our next Fiend’s a bit of an unknown unless you know her in person, in which case you’ll never forget her kindness. She killed her own daughter when her child’s atrocities came to light, poisoned the food that she made for the girl. Now she operates a chain of restaurants in low-income neighborhoods, serving nutritious-yet-delicious meals at the lowest prices possible. The Gracious Glutton, Mama Bamb!”
A middle-aged woman slowly strolled out of the dark tunnel, a bit pudgier than most other Fiends. She was also wearing tight athletic wear that didn’t leave much to the imagination. And most importantly, she wasn’t alone.
“Umm, what’s going on?” Dicatta protested. “I thought these were supposed to be one-on-one fights.”
“That is Mama Bamb’s head chef,” Rallie explained. “He will not be participating in the fight. If you try to attack him, that will be an immediate disqualification. Though he’ll have a personal barrier around him and his station, so it shouldn’t be possible anyways. All he’ll be doing during the fight is cooking. Take up any complaints with the organizers when the match is concluded.”
“Okay, uhh, whatever I guess,” Dice dropped the matter.
Once Bamb and the chef were up on the stage, the older woman bowed at her opponent while the chef set up a grill.
“It appears that we’re all ready to begin. No obstacles. Start the match!”
《Hazzle: So what do you think he’s making, dear?》
《Vank: Hard to say at this point, but definitely something meaty. Ooo, and it’s all nicely marinated too. Don’t know what it’s from, but that’s thigh meat, I’d bet my life on it!》
《Hazzle: If you say so, dear.》
“Damn it!” Dice lowered his hand in frustration, having been aiming it at the woman who was standing around leisurely, not really focused on the fight, watching her chef work.
“What’s wrong, young man?” Mama Bamb finally took an interest in him.
“Uhh, well, I don’t know how much I should be sharing, but…” Dice thought out his words. “Since you’re not using weapons and not wearing any sort of armor, there’s nothing really for me to cut or exploit. That only leaves me with two options, to attack you head on or to slice you in half with my Curse.”
“However, there’s a problem. I can’t seem to find a way to cut you into equal mass that wouldn’t break the rule of trying to kill you,” the man explained why he felt so defeated already.
“Well, I appreciate you not cutting me in half,” Bamb bowed her head again. “That sounds very painful.”
《Vank: Oh that first sizzle right when he put it on the grill. That noise is what gets me up in the morning!》
《Hazzle: I love seeing you so passionate, dear.》
“Is uhh, there a reason you’re not attacking?” Dice finally asked as nothing continued to happen.
“Oh, I’m waiting for the food to be done,” The Glutton insisted. “Can’t fight on an empty stomach. And good food is worth waiting for. Would you like some? Meals always taste better when you share them with someone.”
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“Uhh, no thanks, but that does give me an idea,” Dice started mumbling to himself.
“Glad I could help!” Mama Bamb smiled at him before going back to watching the chef, starting to drool at the sight since a luscious smell was wafting over the arena.
《Hazzle: Oh don’t you think he should have flipped it by now? Won’t it start burning?》
《Vank: No no no, not just yet. A few more seconds and it’ll be perfect. Right there! Oh wow, he actually did it the second I said it. Great minds think alike, don’t they?》
《Vank: What spice did he just add? Ugh, I really wish I had an ingredient list, but we can figure that out later. Can you start writing down everything he’s doing?》
《Hazzle: Sure thing. Ooo, it is starting to smell good too. Amazing that it’s wafted all the way up here. Gosh, I want to know what it is too.》
“Kangarabbit skewers!” the chef announced as he served the plate, sliding it to the edge of the grill that was protruding from the barrier.
The Glutton gave it a few good sniffs, her drool and desire multiplying tenfold at the juicy meat skewer. But when she went to pick up the plate, tragedy struck. As soon as the dinnerware was in the air, it shattered in her hands, cut into a hundred tiny pieces. But not only the plate, the food too.
Each piece of meat was already cubed, but they were diced up into microscopic portions, falling onto the ground with the shattered porcelain remains.
《Hazzle: Oh how tragic!》
《Vank: You should be ashamed, Dice! Apologize to that chef right now. Look at him, he’s heartbroken!》
“No need, no need!” Mama Bamb waved both hands down as if she was trying to calm the crowd. “Wasted food is indeed a travesty, but that’s only if you let it go to waste.” She knelt down and picked up a scrap of meat and then shoved it into her face. “So good!” she squealed with joy and then really started pigging out, scooping up every morsel with her hands, giving in to her gluttonous side.
Dice wasn’t quite sure what to make of it all. Not only had his plan to destroy the food failed, but it also seemed to have turned everyone against him. But there was still opportunity. Bamb seemed so engrossed in her food that she wasn’t paying attention to anything else around her.
Even though he didn’t normally use weapons, Dice pulled out a stun baton from his pocket that he brought along in case all else failed. The man charged at his foe, sparking the weapon when he got close. But then as the last speck of food entered her mouth, Mama Bamb vanished.
“Eh?” Dice looked around confused, with no clue where his opponent had gone. He finally found her on the other side of the arena, right where he had been at the start of the match.
“Woo, that was filling,” The Glutton patted her stomach. “Give me a second to digest it properly.” Steam started emanating from her body, drifting up into the air. And in a matter of seconds, her entire body structure changed. The woman’s waist slimmed down to rival the world’s best athletes, as did her arms and head.
But her legs and thighs, those bulked up to insane proportions, to the point that Dice would fear his head cracking if it was somehow caught between them.
“My Curse is called You Are What You Eat!” Bamb took a moment to spill the details. “And being a Fiend opens up a whole new world of delicacies. Monsters in particular provide so many benefits. Those Kangarabbit skewers are as you’d think. They make my legs insanely strong and quick. Now let’s burn off some calories!”
The woman began sprinting around the arena at break-neck speeds to the point that she was practically a blur. Dice felt hopeless for a second, but then he noticed something unusual. “Wait a second!” There was a glimmer of hope. He then whispered to himself. “With her new weight distribution, I can sever her body just below her waist. Now I just need to wait for the right moment!”
Dice held out his hand again, trying to get a firm lock. It didn’t take him as long as he thought since the woman was sprinting around at a consistent pace. But the moment he went to make the cut, she appeared right in front of him.
Mama Bamb then did an impressive backflip, knocking Dice into the air with both feet. She then jumped up after him, catching up the moment his flight reached the height of its arc. The woman then spun in the air, slamming him with another kick to the side that sent him flying straight out of the arena. The Glutton then landed back down, doing a few hops around to burn off the momentum.
“Mama Bamb wins!”
~Unfulfilled Wish~
Dice: To have some sort of special weapon made so I can use my Curse with less restrictions.