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V5: Chapter 14.4 - Confessions to Make

“Have you come up with something yet?” Chorus bothered Drim again after just a few moments, not giving him an actual break’s worth of time to think of something properly.

“Uhm, sure I guess,” the man relented. No matter how much time he was given, he’d likely never be comfortable thinking of an appropriate question, so he asked the very first thing that came to mind. “I understand the reasons that most of you all joined this group, but what specifically drew you to it?”

“Ehh, rejected!” Chorus made a buzzing sound with their mouth. “First, that will almost certainly be far too telling. And second, it has absolutely nothing to do with romance or dating. Please keep it in the spirit and make it actually have something to do with love, or at the very least, their personal interests.”

The man let out a deep sigh and his face became far more serious. “Fine. I’ll ask something I’ve always been unsure about. This will sound rude, and I’m sorry, but it is a genuine question. Why do you all have feelings for someone like me anyways?”

“I don’t ask to insult your tastes, but it’s something I’ve never understood. I can't say I’ve ever seen myself as a good person. My history is mostly known to you all, but it feels like it got twisted somewhere along the way. Pretty much everything I’ve done has been for selfish reasons. Killing my mother, starting this group, getting into politics, the countless others that have died by my hands. While I’m sure they seem good and well-intended on the surface, most of what I’ve done is riddled with lies and manipulation.”

“All of you have been manipulated by me in some form or another throughout the years. Most of it has come to light, and while I still appreciate you all standing by me, I feel I don’t deserve trust from any of you, let alone affection. And no, I haven’t been blind this entire time. I’ve willfully been playing dumb and distant, partially in the hopes that no one would get hurt, even more because I thought you all would naturally lose interest, but mostly because I myself didn’t want to have to confront my own feelings, and that’s not fair to any of you.”

“Besides all that, I don’t see how my personality would be attractive either. I’m a socially anxious introvert and book nerd who would rather stay far away from crowds and any sort of drama. While I do generally enjoy helping people, I would rather stay out of their lives and business. Hell, I’d probably go and be a hermit in a cave somewhere if I didn’t have others wanting me to stick around.”

“I just don’t get what about any of me would make you all want to date me. Even I get annoyed when I go on my rants about subjects that no one else would care about. I’m gloomy, have no sense of fashion, dressing all in black because I think it’s cool though I know it isn’t, and my face has been called scary so many times by people that I even try to avoid walking around the school unexpectedly on our own compound!”

“If I may,” Xard spoke up over on the contestants’ row. “I’d like to answer first.”

“Sure, I don’t see why not,” Chorus merely shrugged. “Go ahead, Contestant #3.”

“Alright, let me start by saying that you’ve asked the stupidest question imaginable. First of all, you’re not perfect. We all know that since none of us are. If we only wanted to date perfection ,then we'd be miserably single for the rest of our lives.”

Victori then chimed in, not waiting for her turn. “Yes, you’re only human. Maybe you’ve forgotten since you haven’t seen yourself as one for so long. But we don’t hold you to a higher standard.”

Xard then took back over. “And I’ll say the point you made about lies and manipulation does ring true. Maybe it’s giving me away by saying this, but we’ve butted heads over it quite a bit in the past, and when I first found out, I didn’t take it well. The act of it, though, became irrelevant once I knew your intent. You genuinely believed it was for the right reasons, and for that I can’t fault you.”

“No matter what you say, Drim, to us you’re a good person. It’s not up to you how we see you for ourselves. All I see is a man who genuinely wants to make the world a better place, and of course, I’m someone who will find that endlessly attractive.”

“Yes, the amount of good you’ve done absolutely outweighs the bad,” Jaid started up, the group now entirely abandoning the concept of orderly answers. “It took me a long time to see the real truth since I was lied to and manipulated by others, and blinded by my own prejudices. Whether you’re gaining something from it or not, it doesn’t negate all the lives you’ve saved and wonder you’ve created in this world.”

“It’s okay to be selfish. We all are. That’s why we agreed to do this mawhged up program. Having wants and desires is what drives us, as long as you don’t lose yourself in it. I’ve seen it happen too many times now, but with us by your side, we won’t let that happen. To us, regardless of what you do, you’ll always be someone we care about.”

“And that other stuff you said about yourself,” Kada went next. “I love that you’re actually a dork. Most people only see the strong and confident side, the king. So it feels a bit special when we get to see how you really behave, how shy and timid you actually are. And for me, I can’t get enough of it. It’s honestly adorable.”

“I’ll just say this,” Mallea brought up the rear. “There’s only one you—no one else like you in the world. And that is who I, who we, all love.”

“Oh, umm, just want to add one last comment,” Victori piped up once more. “The scary face thing, for me it just makes it even better. Honestly, kind of hot.”

“She’s totally right.” “Mhmm.” “Absolutely.” The girl was met with unwavering agreement from the group.

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“Thank you, erm,” Drim’s cheeks went from light blushing to his face burning red. “That was very nice to hear. I can’t say that I still feel worthy of it, but that issue lies with me. However, I won’t doubt you all anymore.”

“Well then, it seems like it’s time to wrap things up!” The host amped up the tension. “Before we hear the man’s decision, do any of our contestants have a final message they want to convey to Drim to try and sway him in your favor? This would be the perfect time to spill your hearts if you have a proper confession prepared.”

“W-wait,” Drim interjected. “If it’s all the same, I’d rather go to the end. I genuinely don’t think I can withstand hearing anymore about myself today. This much attention has been a lot.”

“Oh, do you already have a winner in mind?” the producer grinned, excited to see where it would all lead. “Splendid, well then let’s hear it. Though if you could build up the suspense, that would be even better.”

“Well that’s fine, because I do have something I want to say,” the king recomposed himself and took a few deep breaths. “No matter what happens, I’m deeply grateful. The five of you are all irreplaceable people in my life. If I hadn’t met you all, I feel my dreams would have died long ago without you all there to support me.”

“Kada,” he named the first person in line despite not being able to see her. “You were the first to join our group. It really helped me imagine what a community of Fiends could be, and brought so much positive energy to our lives. Genuinely, you’re such a joy to be around and always brighten up my day.”

“Jaid,” Drim moved onto the next. “I’ll be honest and say it’s kind of odd that you’re here if you think about it. You came to us as a spy with a hatred of Fiends. Yet I never really did see you as an enemy. You always kind of felt a bit lost to me, and I’m glad we were eventually able to become a place where you feel you belong. Now I count you among my dearest friends, and feel we have a lot in common. To me, you’re a kindred spirit who understands me in ways no one else does.”

“Xard. I know we didn’t always see eye to eye, but now you’re my closest confidant. I know you have my back through anything, even picking up the slack of my own failures. Everyone would be blessed to have you by their side. I know I am.”

“Victori. I agree that the world is indeed a beautiful place, and I’d love to see more of it with you, and sure, I could prattle on for hours if you want to listen. But I also have you to thank for our political endeavors. Hell, I would have run our campaign right into the ground if I was in charge. You have a beautiful mind for this sort of thing, and it’s thanks to you that we will see victory. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“And Mallea. Though I assume your intent for being here is different from the others, it doesn’t mean I can’t show my appreciation. Words can’t begin to express how much you’ve done for me, taken care of me throughout my life. I owe everything to you, and the love I feel for you can never be overstated. Thank you so much for always being there for me.”

“As for my choice… Well, there’s a reason I asked Chorus to skip that last segment. It’s another selfish one. If any of you were to honestly confess to me right now, to pour out your hearts, I would feel obligated to give an answer. And it would crush me, because of how I am right now, I’d have to turn you down.”

“I’ll be blunt. I do think there’s someone I like. But I haven’t spent enough time focusing on myself to really understand my own feelings. And with everything going on, there’s no way it could be a focus. I’d be a zjik boyfriend. Things might be slow right now, but once we reach the end of the year, I can’t honestly say I’d be able to make time for anyone, even myself. And none of you deserve that. I don’t deserve that. But that’s how it has to be.”

“The project will remain my one real objective until its completion. Everything else is a secondary priority. And the fact of the matter is you all still don’t know everything it entails. It’s quite possible that when this is all over, you will see me as an entirely different person.”

“But… when all is said and done, if your feelings haven’t wavered… I know it’s arrogant of me to ask this, but please, come tell me again. I promise that I will listen to every word you have to say, and I will give you my honest, heartfelt answer.”

“That’s my choice. I understand if you feel slighted or disrespected, and if your emotions feel ignored or time wasted for doing this. But I’m not going to make an impulsive choice just because we’re wrapped up in this scenario.”

“No, I get it,” Jaid responded first. “And I think we all do. This was the wrong way to do this from the beginning. Love should never be a game.”

“Yeah, I definitely accept it,” Xard nodded in agreement. “And honestly, getting picked or rejected this way would have always felt wrong or made me have doubts.”

“I told you guys this was a bad idea!” Kada jumped on the dogpile. “But just you wait, Drim! I’ll have the best confession you’ve ever heard! No way you’ll be able to say no!”

“Umm, yes, I hope you’ll hear me out too!” Victori joined in.

Mallea then stood up. “Well, I feel my work here is done. Hopefully you all understand your folly. As punishment, you can clean your own rooms for the next month. You too, Drim.”

“Eh?!” The man in the booth was confused by his inclusion.

“Well I don’t accept it!” Chorus erupted, picking up the love-themed pedestal they’d been standing at and pelting it across the room where it crashed into the wall. “I can’t air this noncommittal zjik! The viewers would be furious!”

“Hrm, well I wasn’t planning to show this until Confession Day next year or when rumors of a relationship began circulating around, so there’s still time. It just means that all of you can’t dawdle once Project Fiendless is complete. On Cosmos’ name, Drim Drazah, if you don’t end up dating someone soon, I’ll make you fall in love with me just so that this plotline can have an ending! I swear it!”

◆◆◆

As the program came to an end, most of the group departed, wanting to be doing anything else after the bundle of awkwardness they’d just experienced, though most of them did feel like they’d gotten something out of it in the end or some form or another. Victori and Mallea stuck around to help clean up the props, allowing Chorus to skedaddle and check in on how their day of special programming was going.

But as the producer left through one of the throne room’s side doors, they passed a familiar face leaning against the wall who had been listening in on the program. Chorus turned to greet them, but didn’t have fear in their eyes as any of the others would have if they’d been caught in that very situation. “It sure was awfully nice of you to let this happen. I wasn’t convinced you wouldn’t come and shut it down halfway through.”

“Hmph, well the outcome was obvious from the start,” Phon grunted. “If you had actually tried to keep this a secret from me, however, I probably would have come to destroy it all. But we can let them have their fun for now. They won’t have the chance for much longer.”

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