The mixed feelings returned with increased intensity. Jaid’s tolerance for social interaction had now reached its peak, so she took her dinner to go. But, there was a small errand she wanted to run, so she didn’t head back to her room right away.
Her mental exhaustion wasn’t solely from what had just happened either. Even though she hadn’t been on any missions, it still had been a busy day. She’d slept in since they’d returned late last night. And before she could even make her way to the restaurant for breakfast, she’d been roped into helping Itsy.
As was usual around the compound, Jaid had been given very little information to start. Itsy had asked her to help with a ‘Crash Test’. Jaid had a light understanding of what those were in the automotive world. Even she would find some catharsis in destroying things, so why not give it a go?
What she hadn’t been expecting was finding herself behind the wheel of Itsy’s monster truck. Jaid also never would have guessed that she’d be racing it at top speed straight at Itsy. Before impact, Jaid stuck her hand out the window and made clones to escape from inside.
Itsy took the crash head on, doing her best not to flinch as the metal crumpled around her. The monster truck’s rear hoisted to the sky for a moment before crashing back down.
There were two reasons for this test. The first was that she just wanted to test the durability of some new material she’d obtained. It had performed pretty well, only a mild dent in the front of the truck that hadn’t damaged the engine at all. The second was that Itsy wanted to see if it somehow unlocked her Curse. “Can’t help but feel like it’s got something tuh do with machines,” she’d claimed. Given her Curse Mark, it was a decent probability, but this silly test had borne no fruit.
Shortly after finally getting something to eat, Jaid received a cordial invitation from Chorus and Nini; meaning they barged into her room without any prior warning. Chorus wanted to film them trying out different makeup products and giving their opinions. According to them, there would be a big market for videos of Fiends acting like everyday people and sharing human interests. Whatever worked, Jaid guessed, but she did have a bit of fun.
All that had eaten up all her work hours until the event, so she didn’t have time to take a mission even if she wanted. She eventually just marked it as a personal day, not initially intending to take it as one. Jaid was particularly bad at taking time off. She received regular emails from Deborah, and even a visit from Drim once to remind her not to overwork herself—not that he had any room to talk.
Well, it had led to her being the employee of the month. So in a way, she was fudging the numbers by giving herself more time to work. She doubted they’d actually raise a stink unless the quality of her work started dropping. Really, for her it was about keeping busy. The more she worked, the less time she had to worry about the anxiety of her situation. That, and she was roped into so many other people’s business that the days had just been flying by.
Right now, the errand she was running, Jaid convinced herself it was to serve as a reward for winning the event, a nice treat that she was planning to get regardless. She headed to a bakery that had recently opened in Bisomote, one she had already visited several times.
It had been built in honor of an old woman who’d run a small sweets shop in the town for decades. After her passing a few months ago, her family had decided to buy the empty building next to it and revamp it into a full bakery. Their decision to do so was largely in part thanks to a sizable donation they’d received. One guess as to who it was from.
While Jaid could have anything her heart desired made by Vank and Hazzle, there was something nice about going and buying something already made. She’d often find herself surprised at the new choices and desserts she’d never heard of. Since the holiday season had already started with Boon Day and New Years right around the corner, the bakery was running a limited time promotion on a special cake.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! The last slices were bought up in an order a few moments ago.” Jaid was greeted by disappointment at the counter. “We’ll have more in a few days, or if you like you can put in an order ahead of time, but it would—” The bell on the shop’s door dinged while Jaid listened to the clerk. From the corner of her eye, she saw the person approach the counter to pick up their order.
Mallea? Jaid watched her pick up nearly a dozen small cake boxes. The pair locked eyes and Mallea quickly approached her—a bit too closely. “Don’t you dare tell anyone that I sometimes buy pre-made food.” Mallea whispered directly into Jaid’s ear, her voice sterner than any she’d ever heard. She then dropped one of the cake boxes into Jaid’s hands. “For your silence.”
It was a bizarre set of events, but at least Jaid had her desired dessert. Maybe Mallea shared the same sentiment of it being nice to indulge into the lazy or unfamiliar on occasion. Though, she seemed to view it as a source of shame, a stain on her professional pride. Jaid would keep her secret, maybe one of the only that she ever would.
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Back in her room, Jaid stared at the cake box as she hurriedly chewed through her dinner, not appreciating it as much as she should. When she opened it, she smiled at the festive design, and more importantly, the ample portion. The cake itself was pretty good, very fruity, no better than she’d get from the restaurant. Something about the odd way she’d obtained it made her enjoy it more, though.
For a while after dinner, Jaid relaxed with what could be considered her only actual hobby. It was woodcarving, something she’d been forced to pick up to an extent during a period of her past. Back then, it had been out of necessity, and this was far more intricate than the wood-cutting she’d done back then, but there was something oddly cathartic about it.
She was trying to make a small-scale replica of her own sword at present. Maybe understanding the craftsmanship behind it a bit more would help her figure out something about its weird past. While it was something she could get absorbed into for hours, she still was pretty noncommittal about making it her passion. Plus, it was a messy hobby, so she’d stop to clean up once there was a decent pile of shavings.
I should make sure to login to those too. Jaid had also picked up a few mobile games over the past few weeks—simple, casual stuff that she could pick up and play a few minutes at a time. She’d only really started them to have something to do while everyone else was silently staring at their phones. Joining in was certainly less awkward than sitting around idly.
Maybe I should go to the gym after? she considered while she made her mobile rounds. Jaid would get a little antsy if she didn’t get at least some form of exercise every day, her muscles and own subconscious badgering her for her lethargy. It was a good idea, but the bigger question was whether she had the energy for Nachi or not.
Regardless of whether the trainer was actually around, she was always aware whenever there was someone in the gym. If Jaid went when it was empty, she’d receive critiques and criticism from Nachi on what to improve. As far as Jaid could find, there were no cameras in the gym that she was able to spot, but somehow, Nachi always knew. The gym truly was her domain that no one could intrude upon. Jaid was entirely unconvinced that Nachi didn’t just sleep there instead of her actual room.
Before she could set her phone down, Jaid flicked over the Central Peace screen out of habit. She stared at the reporting option for a while but made no effort to click it. Did she even have something to report? The amount she submitted every day had drastically reduced to the point that she was almost grasping for straws. Each day had been packed full so she was exhausted every night, but in the spy business, things had been very slow.
Should she report on her being the best employee? Did that matter at all? It probably wouldn’t hurt, but was there a point? In the beginning, there had certainly been plenty of direct and noticeable response to her reports, but that had been dwindling as well. Was there anyone still reading? Had she been forgotten…?
No, she couldn’t think like that. This was the scope of the mission: no contact, no updates, no support. That was what she had signed up for, what she’d committed her life to—a cause she believed in. This was where her efforts were best served. She’d never wavered on that part at least.
As if sensing her mental doubts, a notification for a new Screening popped up on her phone. She went through the motions, answering the same questions as always. They hadn’t added anything new or anything confusing in quite some time. She got to the last question and stared at it for longer than she ever had.
『Do you believe you have been compromised?』
Up until now, she had always answered ‘No’ quite quickly, or at least relatively quickly compared to this time. She just continued to stare at it as those same twisted feelings before creeped up once more. It wasn’t just the back of her neck this time either. It was her entire body, her entire being—a swirl of confusion and agony.
Tears flooded down her face as her fingers hovered over 『Yes』
Her heart felt like it was breaking, her mind betraying everything she believed in. But was that how she truly felt? Was she still loyal? Had they swayed her? Had she been hypnotized, manipulated, gaslit? Would she be happier if she just forgot her former convictions?
Before she could press the button, her arm jerked. The phone slipped out of her hand, pelted across the room, and embedded deep into the wall so that it was only halfway sticking out. “No… I can’t think like that,” Jaid mumbled quietly to herself, not wanting to create any more racket if the sound of the phone had been heard.
She stared at the now damaged wall for a while longer as she rebuilt her conviction from scratch. “I just need to prove it to myself. I need to remember why I’m here. What it is only I can do.” Jaid reached for her sword and strapped its sheath to her back. She doubted she’d need it, and bringing it would only make her feel worse, but that sense of security gave her some much needed confidence.
There had been a certain report she’d been putting off since joining, something the CP desperately wanted her to research. Jaid had been hoping that she’d eventually get to it in time, since if she looked into it too early, it’d be hard to explain her way out of it if things went sour. Maybe now she had enough credence with the group that she could get by on good faith alone if it came to it.
Regardless, this became something she needed to do, and there would be no rest until she did it. Somewhere she needed to go. Something she needed to find. Something to report to the Central Peace that would permanently cement her allegiance. Something that would endanger the Fiends For Hire forever.