“Geez, kid, you’re almost making me feel bad!” Roque’s mocking tone didn’t boast a single hint of actual sympathy. For the past nine visitors to their sweets-selling stands, the pair had competed to make their sales. And each time, Roque had swindled, manipulated, or bribed his way to victory.

“You almost had that one with Feyj,” he tried to reassure the increasingly disheartened child who was getting more depressed with each failure. “You were saying all the right things, but you were simply just too slow. The man has no patience given his special circumstances, so he got bored listening to your spiel and turned to me who could make the sale in seconds.”

“So now I hope you appreciate the gap between our level of skill. Though you’ve been at a disadvantage from the start. You’re forced to sell at a fixed price, while I have the ability to undercut you with looser margins. That alone makes it an almost insurmountable mountain.”

“But I can tell you were still giving it your all for each and everyone one of them. You’ve almost earned my respect, kid, but not quite yet… Tell you what. You see that lady there, she’s going to be a hard-sell. If you can get her to buy any amount, then I’ll get off your back and let you sell here. Hey, Rishaki, come talk to your ole pal!” he called out before giving ZjoZjo any actual time to prepare.

“Ech, Roque,” the woman had clear distaste in her mouth, having to hold herself back from spitting in his direction. “I have no interest in whatever it is you are peddling.”

“Ah c’mon, my little friend here is selling muffin tops for charity,” Roque quickly passed it off.

“Yes, it is for a very good cause,” ZjoZjo perked up, diving right into her usual spiel. “We are raising money to help build a learning facility for those with special needs!”

“And why would I care about that?” Rishaki shut it down immediately, glaring down at the girl for even suggesting such a thing. “It is better that people stay stupid, because then they don’t know when they are being fooled. The smart keep a tighter grasp on their money, and actually know when they hold something of worth. Roque should have taught you that.”

Now the young PrePioneer fully understood why she’d been labeled as a hard-sell. The classic good-deed angle wouldn’t work at all. If anything, it might turn her off even more. She was a selfish woman, but that didn’t mean she was unexploitable. ZjoZjo just had to figure out how to tug her heartstrings.

Rishaki was dressed elegantly, clearly taking a lot of stock in her appearance, so vanity was certainly a part of it. But how to relate that to muffin tops… The girl didn’t have long to think, but thankfully, her potential patron kept the conversation flowing. “And what are these sweets, anyways? PrePioneers, I have heard of them. They are everywhere—even stupid enough to try and sell in Zjiksa a few times a year.”

“But that means these muffin tops are everywhere too. Commonplace food for common people. You would dare suggest that I am a commoner? That this povertous ration should be allowed to grace my refined tongue? I only deal in the rare and exquisite. Try again when you have something worthwhile to sell.”

That was a lot to take at once for anyone, let alone a young child who was just trying to sell muffin tops for charity—or that’s how any onlooker would see her. They wouldn’t know the deviousness that lay just below the surface, that ZjoZjo lacked the ability to take offense from a rude customer. So she did what any regular child would do when faced with an aggressive adult. She cried.

“I, I, I’m so sorry!” the girl stuttered as tears started streaming down her face, sniffling between each strained word. “I didn’t mean to offend you! ”

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t go quite that far…” Rishaki immediately backpedaled. “It’s okay, you did nothing wrong. You are just trying to sell. I understand that. We all start somewhere, and you are clearly doing well. Don’t worry about what this old woman has to say.”

So she really does have a soft spot for children, ZjoZjo lowered her head to hide the grin that was sneaking up on her face. Of course the girl knew about Rishaki: a merchant queen of Zjiksa who now lived at the Fiends For Hire compound. There was no way someone so rich and famous would escape her notice during her research, and she was right up there with Roque on her list of pockets she wanted to pry loose.

Though it was just a baseless rumor, mere speculation that the woman cared for youths in any capacity. There were a few guesses in that regard, but most other commenters would shoot down that claim entirely, often chastising anyone who suggested it. And to think it was so effective after all. Now she just had to combine this little exploit with the woman’s vanity.

“N, no, you shouldn’t call yourself an old woman!” ZjoZjo insisted as she started to wipe away her tears. “You’re still so young and beautiful. Actually I… I really wanted to sell a box to you because I wanted to see your face light up when you ate one. I’m sorry for being so selfish!” The waterworks started again, but this time she stared Rishaki dead in her ruby eyes, not breaking for a second, not even a single blink.

The girl could practically see the woman’s icy exterior shatter and her heart melt away. “Well, I wouldn’t want to deny you seeing something so exquisite.” Rishaki set down her Common Card, picked up a box, and opened it immediately. She rushed to unwrap a muffin top and eagerly took a bite.

Odds are that she didn’t even taste it at that moment, since that wasn’t what mattered. Her face twisted into such a joyous and elegant smile that it would send hoards of suitors into a fighting pit just for a chance to see it again. Roque even took that moment to sneak a picture, since for a woman who cherished rarities, that was one of the rarest faces anyone in the world would ever see. ZjoZjo wondered if he intended to sell it back to her, or possibly use it as blackmail.

“You know, these are better than I gave them credit for,” the surly merchant had to admit. “Still a bit unrefined for my palette, but I can see why they are popular. I will place an order. They will make good treats for the children who come to visit my shop. Thank you, little girl, for the sweet words and sweet food. Cheer up. You may become a Merchant Queen yourself some day.” Rishaki took off, a slight hum as she finished her snack and a bit of a skip in her step.

ZjoZjo relaxed for a moment, taking solace in her great victory. It was only compounded by the sudden and serious clapping next to her. “Gotta say kid, I’m impressed.” There was actual sincerity in Roque’s words. “Were those real tears? Even I can’t pull that off. I always keep a bottle with me, but that’s only good for a few drops.”

“Keep that up and you’ll be a real pro in no time. You’ve earned my respect, ZjoZjo, and alas, it has come time for us to depart. I’d be happy to stick around and keep mentoring ya, but my afternoon’s packed. Now one last tip before I go. Follow this, and you’ll make the biggest sale of the day.” The man leaned over and whispered into her ear. The girl wrote down his every direction, not wanting to miss a single step.

“Good luck to you, kid.” He then pulled out a business card and handed it to her. “When you make it big, don’t forget who made it possible. Oh, and you look like you’re getting low on your supplies. Feel free to use the rest of mine. See you.”

ZjoZjo watched the mentor she never asked for strut away, feeling a bit bittersweet. She never even got the chance to thank him for everything he’d taught her. But she also wanted to Curse him for not buying a single damn box after all that. Cheapskate.

She took a break to go into the restaurant and have lunch. The girl was so distracted by the amazing food, that she entirely forgot to try and peddle her muffin tops to the old couple working the counter and kitchen. It was a shame since they’d seem like easy marks, but she didn’t want to abandon her post again by the time she remembered.

The afternoon was a lot less chaotic than the morning. Sales slowed down, as did the flow of customers, likely busy with their days. ZjoZjo only got one more big sale from Chorus, who offered to make an order but only if they could take a picture of the girl selling on their property as a photo-op. The PrePioneer didn’t refuse of course.

But as the sun started to crawl down over the horizon, ZjoZjo finally spotted her silver opportunity. She was walking by timidly, similar to Rezin, as if she didn’t want to be spotted. And she nearly jumped out of her skin when the PrePioneer called to her. “You there, monster girl!”

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean that you’re a monster,” she apologized, which was all part of Roque’s tactics. “Girl who can turn into many monsters, I would like your help with something.”

“R-Really?” Laurim approached the table sheepishly. “Y-you want my help?” Her mentor’s assessment of the girl had been spot on. As someone who had been passed around, constantly feeling unwanted, she’d volunteer for just about anything if someone asked her first.

“Yes, it’s really simple,” ZjoZjo got down to explaining the details.

“So you want me to just become that monster and eat muffin tops. That’s it?” Laurim recapped. “And it’s all free. It’s not a trick and you’ll make me have to pay later, right?”

“No, absolutely free, I guarantee it,” the young girl assured her. “These have all been paid for, so help yourself to as many as you’d like.”

“Uhh, okay,” the new helper still found it hard to believe, but even harder to refuse. “Transform: Chinchanda!” The Fiend turned into an egg which grew immensely before hatching. Out popped a large, fat, fluffy creature with an absolutely adorable and chubby face. She was now a cross between a panda and a chinchilla.

The monster reached over to a box of muffin tops and clumsily undid the wrapping. It took a while, but she eventually got food free and stuffed it into her mouth. Contentment and glee washed over her face as she slowly chewed, slack-jawed and methodically, grinding it down to tiny bits before even attempting to swallow.

As soon as she was done with muffin top, she greedily reached for another. But even with her earnest enthusiasm, her movement was so slow and uncoordinated. ZjoZjo wouldn’t have to worry about the monster eating through her stock anytime soon. And it didn’t take long for the bait to nab the prize she was looking for.

“Ohmygosh, I’ve never seen this monster before!” Kada was suddenly right in front of the table. The PrePioneer had no idea where she’d come from. Maybe she popped up from the very ground. “I knew my cuteness senses were tingling. Can, can I feed her?”

“If you buy a box,” ZjoZjo didn’t miss a beat, already having a box in hand and her Common Card ready to accept the transaction.

Kada didn’t even look in the girl’s direction. She nabbed the box out of her hands and threw her own card down on the table. ZjoZjo could have charged any amount at that moment, but that would only come back to bite her in the ass.

The patron ripped open the packing in a hurry and pulled out a muffin top. She then moved it slowly towards the Chinchanda’s face. Laurim gave it a cautionary whiff before dismissing all reservations and eating half the sweet in one bite. She then immediately went back for the rest, stuffing her face more before even attempting to chew what she already had.

Since Kada’s hand was already there, the woman couldn’t help but give the Chinchanda a few scritches on her face as she chewed, not that the Laurim seemed to mind. They repeated this process until Kada was down to her very last muffin top. The monster-mesmerized woman didn’t look back at ZjoZjo even once, completely hypnotized by the cuteness in front of her.

As she pulled out the last muffin top, Kada finally made her order. “I’ll take all of them.”

“All of them?” ZjoZjo needed something a bit more concrete than that.

Kada then finally turned to the girl, her eyes fierce and unyielding, upset that she needed to clarify and look away from her cute obsession for even a second. “As many as you’re legally allowed to sell me.” She then grabbed another box off the table and resumed her monster feeding.

ZjoZjo let them return to their fun while she filled out the form. The girl wasn’t quite sure what amount to put, and had to look up in the PrePioneer handbook how much could be sold in a single transaction. The answer was staggering, an amount that would put most people in debt for life, and was likely meant for corporation sales, not for any individual to buy. But ZjoZjo copied that number down anyways.

And then as her mentor had taught her, she forged Kada’s signature on the slip, so as to not disturb her and possibly hurt the sale. Once ZjoZjo informed her of the transaction's completion, Kada melted most of the boxes remaining on the pallet, leaving just a handful behind. The ball of goo trailed behind her as she led the monster away, holding a muffin top out to lure Laurim as she walked backwards towards the residential area.

ZjoZjo’s shift didn’t last much longer after that. There was suddenly a big crowd with the dinner rush, and the girl worked hard to complete all of their sales in a timely manner. Her parents had texted her during that time, letting her know that they were waiting on her, but she wanted to stick around a bit longer to make sure every customer was attended to. Eventually, her parents gave in, getting dinner without her while she wrapped things up.

A surge of emotions swirled through the girl when she headed towards the front gate of the compound. There was a good chance she’d never be allowed back in if Mallea actually kept to her word, but she had made the most of her opportunity. She toted her nearly empty wagon behind her, where only a single box of muffin tops remained.

But just before she could cross the threshold, a shadow swooped down in front of her, causing her to take a step back in panic. But the shadow then split apart into two small creatures. Pox and Drimini mostly ignored her as they went to inspect her wagon. It didn’t take them long to find the one remaining box and Pox started sniffing at it.

“I guess you can have it if you like,” ZjoZjo decided impulsively. “Since that was the last one, I was going to share it with my parents, but I can get plenty more. Don’t worry about the cost, it’s on me.”

Pox nodded to her, as if he understood her words, grabbed the box, and then hopped back down onto the ground. He opened it up and then dumped the contents. The animal then tore through each of the muffin top’s wrapping and stuffed the plastic into his mouth. But instead of just discarding the food entirely, he set them down into a neat pile in front of his sister.

Drimini picked one up to inspect it, and didn’t seem very interested at first. But then the muffin top glowed suddenly for just a second. A moment later, the formerly edible food was rotten and covered in mold. The plant creature then gobbled up the moldy sweet happily, then proceeded to do the same for the remainder of her supply.

“Well, the customer’s always right, I guess,” ZjoZjo could only shrug, nearly caught in the same trap that Kada had just suffered. It was a good thing she didn’t have any more boxes to offer them. Once both creatures had consumed their fill, they gave the girl a bow of thanks and trotted away.

A weird end to a wacky day, but the whole experience had been incredibly fulfilling. ZjoZjo added that to the list of incredible things that she was about to tell her parents, wondering if they’d believe them all. There was also a good chance, that her sales would be investigated and scrutinized for their authenticity, so she steeled herself mentally for bumps in the road, but still walked off confidently towards her bright future.

Fiends For Hire Text Conversation 15

Date: Quintlyber 11th 2079

『Phon: Would anyone care to explain why there are countless pallets of muffin tops scattered about the compound. Literally countless, as I got too fed up to count all of them.』

『Phon: They seem to all have different recipients, but most of them are for Kada. Would anyone care to explain?』

『Xard: No clue, haven’t been back in a while.』

『Kada: Uhh, there was this little girl who was a really good salesman, okay?! She got me good.』

『Kada: I plan to move all the boxes soon, just waiting until there’s space cleared at my resort. We’re going to make a new attraction where they can feed muffin tops to the monsters and experience the joy that I felt. Only the safe ones of course』

『Phon: You have two days before Drim gets back. They better be all gone before then. Tell everyone else too. If there are any boxes left out on the grounds I’m holding you responsible.』

『Kada: Not fair! It’s not my fault she was here. Blame Mallea, she was the one who let her in!』

『Phon: Per above. Care to explain why there was a solicitor allowed onto the compound?』

『Mallea: It was that or the death of a child. I made my choice.』

Fiends For Hire Text Conversation 16

Date: Quintlyber 28th 2079

『ZjoZjo: The award ceremony was today. They said that since I sold so many boxes, they made up a new sticker just for me.』

『ZjoZjo: (Attached File: Achievement.pic).』

『ZjoZjo: It’s a Rainbow Solicitation Sticker!』

『ZjoZjo: Thanks for all your help, Rich Uncle Roque!』

『Roque: Hey, not bad, kid. You’re already making a name for yourself.』

『Roque: And tell you what, if you’re thinking about pursuing the saleswoman lifestyle, I might have an opportunity for you soon.』

『Roque: I’ll send you the details when I know it’s a sure thing. Keep an eye out, but only if you’re interested, of course.』

『ZjoZjo: 👀 👍 Your generosity knows no bounds!』

『Roque: Never say such slanderous things about me again.』

『ZjoZjo: 🫡 Yes sir, you piece of zjik swindler, sir!』

『Roque: Now that’s more like it.』