Phon took a brief pause to catch up on her breath and allow for dramatic tension before she continued. “You see, the timing of this broadcast isn’t coincidental. The Central Peace has actually been on a bit of a break recently, to allow the Representatives time to cool their heads and hopefully come back able to work with one another once more. And actually, their first session back is tomorrow.”
“I bet you can imagine how things will go from the start. There will still be plenty of yelling and blaming for all their losses in Bastion. I bet a few accusations will be made about who was responsible for the bounty that incited this. But once that’s all done, they’ll get to work deciding which changes to invoke following their post-unification guidelines.”
“However, there is one more topic that will be at the very tippy-top of their to-do list; an old edict that was established during The Drazah War which was never made public. It doesn’t concern every nation in the world, but it’s not far off. The ruling encompasses every nation that was a part of The Drazah Empire when it collapsed.”
“And here’s the kicker. That includes Last Bastion, even though it was established after the collapse, because it was originally part of Kazji. The land it sits on is still included as part of this. That’s important, because to revoke this edict, it would require a full unanimous treaty of all included nations.”
“It’s possible they could have done it before today, but back when everyone was still unified, all Drazahs were believed to be dead, so there was no rush. And once Bastion came along, any chance of unanimous anything went out the window. Until now. Whether they like it or not, Bastion is now forced to come to the table for any and all political discussions. And you can bet your ass that the CP wants this thing destroyed as soon as possible.”
“So what is this supreme evil mandate you may ask? It’s actually a relic of our father, and ironically, drafted up by Last Bastion’s founder in an act of heinous manipulation. This edict allows any of the Drazah bloodline, myself and Drim included, to claim any territory within the former Drazah Empire as their own. No questions asked, no take backs, no right to refuse. You can blame your corrupt former world leaders who accepted this condition in grabs of power.”
“And here today, for all of you to witness, Drim and I shall be invoking our sovereign right of reclamation! Yayyyyyy!” Phon started clapping as if she’d said something cheerful and exciting that wasn’t currently causing thousands of politicians and Drazah despisers around the world to zjik their pants.
“Sounds complicated, doesn’t it? Like it’d be something that’d take a long time—a real head scratcher and time waster. Except it’s not at all. Deborah, if you’d please!” The woman came into frame on cue, holding a portable lectern with two old-fashioned inkwells and quills just for a bit of extra flare. Laying on the lectern was just a single document.
“That sure doesn’t look like a lot, does it?” Phon’s face lit up with evil elation. “Even if the Central Peace had called an emergency session as soon as our broadcast started, it’d still be too late to stop us.”
“So there’s actually a bit more to it than just this sheet of paper. There were several more sheets, hundreds, maybe, I lost count. But those have already been filled out and will be delivered to the Central Peace, along with every country’s head government office along with this final page. All that’s left is our two signatures.”
Phon picked up the quill and had Deborah turn the lectern to face the camera. She went to sign it, but then remembered that she was forgetting something. “Oh, just for all the uppity lawyers out there, it should be stated that Deborah here is a certified notary, back from her time serving as a clerk in Cotagerie. This is all above ground and legal. We won’t put up a fight when you try to revoke our power to prevent us from doing it again in the future, but you still shoulda been quicker!”
The quill dashed across one of the signature lines at the bottom. Deborah then took the quill over to Drim and he signed the other. Then as witness, she stamped the document, certifying its authenticity.
Phon grabbed the document and shoved it right up to the camera. She slowly panned it from the top, showing the legalese that invoked their claim. And at the bottom were the signatures of the two siblings. For an additional touch, Phon had signed in purple ink, and Drim had signed in green. It wasn’t their actual blood, but a suitable stand-in.
“And just like that, a new nation is born! Don’t like it? Too damn bad! I suppose…” the presenter started to giggle uncontrollably between each word. “You could… try to… take it from us! Pahahaha. Maybe that’s what the world would demand if we hadn’t just absolutely ruined your militaries. And the CP already tried to destroy us themselves once. Let’s see if you’ve got the spine for a rematch.”
“For all those wondering what land we took. Well, we weren’t greedy. The Fiends For Hire compound along with the road and mountain range leading north, what we basically owned already, that’s it. The only difference now is that we won’t be paying taxes. Sorry Segrevide, but your coffers got fat enough off of us already. And you also have an open invitation to try and reclaim this land of yours if you dare.”
“So ultimately, we are a very small nation that’s just getting started. Even smaller than Last Bastion. I hope you will take care of us.” Phon gave a sarcastic bow to the camera, pausing for a moment to appreciate Gedring’s gawking face.
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
“And what is the name of this marvelous new country, you might ask. Well, we held an open forum to come up with ideas. They were… colorful, as you might expect. We received such great ideas Newfiendland, Fort Hire, and Drazah Empire II: Back to Haunt You. None of those were picked. There were also some pretty basic ones; Drazikstan, Fiend Country, Land of the Hires.”
“Ultimately, we left it up to a vote. The first place winner by a huge margin was FiendFjord—actually pretty fitting given our topographical surroundings. But I also refuse to live somewhere with alliteration, and this isn’t a democracy. So we went with the second place winner: Fiendish. It suits us well, don’t you think?”
“And as I said, Fiendish is not a democracy, though we will always take our citizens' opinions into consideration. But no, it’s a good old fashioned monarchy! And we can’t have a monarchy without a ruler, so it’s time for the coronation!” Phon pointed at the camera with eager precision and then waved her hand, as if to present her brother for the first time.
“Normally this kind of thing would take a ton of prepwork, and the date would be announced well in advance. But we already have you all here with us, so why wait? Bring it in!”
Rishaki stepped into frame holding an ornate pillow. Sitting on top of it was a lavish crown. Dark metals twisted in a circle with thorny points protruding skyward, similar to the crown affixed to the armor when Drim synced with Tize. The main difference was the giant gleaming emeralds embedded into the frame.
“So Drim outright refused a crown when we were first talking about it, but what’s a king without a crown?” Phon asked rhetorically. “So I commissioned one from Rishaki here in secret. Who better than a merchant queen to design a truly lavish piece, and I’d say it came out splendidly.”
“And without further ado,” the eager sister plucked the crown from the pillow and slowly walked over to Drim. “We’re not going to bother with oaths or all that boring nonsense. If you don’t know what we’re about at this point, then you haven’t been paying attention. And there’s no one here that any of us would trust more to lead our nation than Drim Drazah.”
Phon skirted to the side of the elegant chair, now obviously a throne that just had yet to be shown fully in frame. “So uhh, are you going to pull your hood down?” She glared at her brother.
“No.” Drim stated firmly, obviously dreading what was to come.
“Pssht, royalty, am I right?” Phon looked back at the camera. “Been in charge for a few seconds and he already thinks he can defy his sister.” She grabbed at his hood and jerked it back, then spent a few seconds combing his disheveled hair with her fingers.
While she slowly lowered the crown onto Drim’s head, Chorus stepped into frame, off to the side. As soon as the headpiece was adorned, they turned to the camera and announced, “Ladies and gentlemen around the world, introducing Drim Drazah, The Fiendish King!”
Drim’s eyes lit up as he stared into the camera. Rays of green shot out of his back, wrapping around the sides of the throne. Green roses bloomed all around and then continued towards the back wall. The camera started to zoom out, revealing the banner just overhead. It was the Fiendish flag. Their company logo had been reimagined as a crest with green roses and black thorns encircling it.
Phon and Chorus, standing at either side of the king, knelt down and bowed their heads. The camera zoomed out further. They were in their headquarters building’s main event hall that had been converted into a throne room. Green carpet stretched along in front of the throne as the camera moved backwards, revealing everyone else who had been there to bear witness.
Kada and Xard were standing on either side of the carpet, and knelt down. Next was Nathym and Ahvra, then Tize and Feyj. One after the other, every member of the Fiends For Hire knelt down in front of their king. And behind them, the unaffiliated citizenry of Fiendish applauded, cheering in the new era of their lives.
After showing everyone off, the camera moved back in as the members rose to their feet, but they left the framing a bit wider this time, so that the audience could see the throne and its king in full splendor.
Phon went back to center stage. “There is one thing I want to clarify. When speaking of his royal highness in the future, do not address him as the King of Fiendish or whatever other nonsense you all can come up with. He shall be known only as The Fiendish King. Anything else will warrant a slap in the face by yours truly if I catch wind of it.”
“Now then, your majesty, is there anything you would like to say?”
“I’ll keep it simple,” Drim didn’t seem particularly delighted by the idea, but he sat up straight, presenting himself with strength and composure. “Some of you may not be enthused at the idea of a Drazah being back in power, holding any title, regardless of how little it affects your lives. But I hope that we have earned some good will through our actions over these past years.”
“Fiendish will be nothing like The Drazah Empire. We have no ambitions to expand our lands, or we would have already taken them during this process. We have no interest in interfering with the political affairs of other countries, but if our aid is ever needed, we will provide what we can.”
“And to the Central Peace, we currently have no plans of joining at this time, at least until we get our own governmental situation sorted. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a chance in the future. If you have an offer to make, go right ahead. We’re listening. And there may be an opportunity sooner than you think.”
“How lovely,” Phon gave her own slight applause. “To think he used to be too scared to speak on camera. How my brother has grown. And regarding that little teaser that the Fiendish King just mentioned, well, you’ll have to stay tuned.”
“Those in the Central Peace will want to pay extra attention. Because I know we’ve just thwarted so many of your plans, and that was rude of us. So we’ll give you a chance to get things back on track. The show’s not over yet. We have one more announcement!”