“Work sucks,” was the opening line of Chorus’ contribution to their monthly meeting. “It doesn’t matter if you love your job, if you hate it, or are just plain indifferent to it. No matter what, there will always come a point where it’s completely tedious and you really don’t want to do it.”
“Now some people have joined the Fiends For Hire because it’s their dream job. Others joined since they felt they had nowhere else to go or no other opportunities in life. Some view it as their passion, while for others it’s just a paycheck. Ultimately, the reason’s are unimportant, as long as it is treated as work and not one’s very reason for existing. That is the same reason why you rejected Asset 29, is it not?”
“You all are undoubtedly the most dedicated to your jobs. And it’s fine if that’s your biggest passion in life. But you all also have the worst work-life balances I’ve ever seen,” Chorus started wagging their finger accusatorily around the room. “Except for you Kada, yours is actually pretty good.”
“And there’s been some pretty chaotic missions lately, big serious types that have left everyone feeling down and haggard. When they almost died to the Wowl, rescuing Senli from those horrible monsters, rescuing all those children from the other horrible monsters, that business with the ghosts trying to kill you all, and now some unrecorded kisses have been causing chaos.”
“Thankfully, Valen’s pictures are pretty good quality. I’ll include them in some montage later or something. And now that she’s gotten settled, I’m thinking of her doing some cinematography and screenwriting for me. Her talents are being wasted in that lab.”
“The hell you’re showing that,” Xard protested. “And we all know you don’t give a ratcoon’s ass about our mental health. So why don’t you get to the point already.”
“You’re right, I don’t,” Chorus smirked, not even going to attempt and refute the accusation. “The point is, work is boring. While you may have the most interesting jobs on the planet, it’s bogged down because it’s work. And the people are getting bored.”
“So it’s about our viewership after all then,” Kada put together and lost a little interest. “I was kind of hoping this was leading somewhere more meaningful or actually helpful.”
“Of course it’s about the show!” the presenter flourished their arms for emphasis. “But life is just one big show. And people will get bored if they see the same thing again and again no matter what it is. So that brings me back to my point. People are getting weary of seeing you all do your jobs.”
“Now don’t get me wrong, viewership is still rocking. ‘Fiends’ is still the most watched show on Rathe right now with the numbers still growing. But Cosdamn there’s such an outcry for more normal, casual, and unscripted content. We did a poll, and while intrigue in the group, along with both awe and fear are up, relatability is on the verge of plummeting off a cliff.”
“The last boost we had was during the parents day special, and I’m guessing you all won’t allow me to do something like that again.” There were stern headshakes around the entire room. “So the answer is to have you special people do normal things. Have fun, take the day off, do what normal humans do when they don’t have to work. Do you all even remember what those things are?!”
Now there were a lot of guilty glances and scrunched lips around the room. “My point exactly. That’s why, for the next business week, there will be absolutely no work! For you four at least, we still have a business to run. But anyone else who wants to join will be allowed to do so.”
“And why exactly do you think we’d go along with that?” Phon huffed. “You were just starting to get some good grace back after your last stunt, and now you want to blow it on telling us what we can and can’t do?”
Chorus’ smirk turned devilish. “I actually have already received permission from the head honcho sitting there.”
All eyes drifted towards Drim, “What can I say,” he merely shrugged. “Morale is down, tension is up, and I’m not particularly good at doing anything about it. While I can’t complain about the increased productivity, I myself am starting to feel a bit burnt out from working nonstop. And if even I, who is the most passionate towards our goals, feels like they need a break, it must be even worse for you all and you’re just keeping it buried.”
“When Chorus came to me with this, I couldn’t really find a reason to say no. Cosmos knows if I tried to come up with a fun activity for us all to do, we’d be hunting stuff in the middle of the woods in no time. So, I’m letting them take the reins on this, though I’ve already vetoed some ideas. Like a day at the beach since we’ve already done that chapter before. They also wanted us to do basket weaving, and I couldn’t possibly conceive of how that would be entertaining.”
“Well, I’m admittedly not the most focused-in on the regular populace either.” A sentence from their now event-host that didn’t exactly boast confidence. “But this is why we have focus groups! I am open to suggestions since we only have a few things firmly scheduled. But if there aren’t enough good ideas, we’ll go with suggestions from our viewers.”
“I guess we could go watch some movies or something,” Xard considered. “Been a while since I’ve caught up on all the recent stuff out there.”
“Unfortunately that’s already been rejected,” Chorus buried the idea. “First of all, it’s boring. Secondly, there are legal issues with filming inside a movie theater. But we do have an idea along those lines.”
“I’m guessing reading is off the table then?” Drim had to try his hand at suggesting essentially his one and only hobby.
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“Yeah, that’d suck,” Chorus was blunt. “Would be happy to get plenty of B-roll footage of that, though. A certain subset of our fans would go nuts for it.”
“Oooh, how about taking naps in interesting and exotic places?!” Kada eagerly waved her hand. “Naps are like super normal, right?!”
“You somehow failed in both aspects of the assignment,” Chorus shook their head in disappointment. Boring to watch and in a way that would be wholly unrelatable. But I must repeat my comment about B-roll footage. I should have known asking this group would be hopeless since you’re the problem children to begin with. Unless you have something you want to contribute, Phon.”
“C-Cooking?” Phon hesitantly answered when eyes drifted towards her.
Chorus then suddenly started applauding with an approving nod. “At least someone understands the assignment. Cooking is on the list, but not in the way that you might think. I’ll just have to iron out the itinerary for the rest of the week as we go, but tomorrow’s set at least. We’ll be waking up bright and early.
◆◆◆
“Welcome to the mall!” Chorus greeted everyone after they walked through the portal. “Enjoy it while it lasts before corporations and online shopping destroy the medium and culture by undercutting prices and convenience.”
“Wait, this is the Domister mall,” Xard recognized it instantly. “The one we visited after we had a race here.”
“Yes, like scared little kittens, it’s best to bring you to familiar territory,” their event organizer had no shame.
“Holy zjik, that’s so far then!” Kada was stunned. “Valen’s portals are amazing then if she can take your blood and transport us even farther than you can, Phon! And all of us at once too.” Phon then stared at Kada with a murderous gaze, causing her to whimper.
“Yes, it’s quite impressive and the key to our events this week,” Chorus boasted with a smile. “It has massively increased the scope of what we can do during the time. I’ve had members go ahead and place vials of Phon’s blood at all the locations we’ll be visiting. And while it takes a lot out of Valen to activate them from so far away, she is committed to seeing this through, aren’t you?”
Valen, who was doubled-over on a bench, wheezing for her life, gave a shaky thumbs-up and muttered, “I will die for my passion!” A moment later, though, she sprung up again, back at full energy. “So can we get started then?!” She asked with hearts in her eyes.
“You still haven’t told us what we’re doing here,” Drim reminded them.
“Obviously, we’re doing makeovers!” Niloy, the only other person accompanying then, excitedly jigged at the idea.
“Alright, I’m out,” Xard threw up his hands in protest. “We were just Valen’s personal playthings and now you want us to be Niloy’s too? So if you’d please reopen the portal so I can head home. Or actually, I’ll just go and head out for another trip, see you all in a month.” He started walking towards the front doors.
Niloy quickly dashed ahead and held out her arms. “Look, we’re just going to dress you up in something casual, alright? Remember the assignment for this morning was to wear regular clothing? Well, both you and Drim came in your combat outfits! At least Kada and Phon complied, but even they could use something fresh.”
“We’ll be spending a lot of time outside and in public, so we just need something a bit less conspicuous. And don’t forget that the whole point for this week is to relax, so we’re aiming for cute while also comfortable. Plus a few more layers since it’s still a bit chilly outside. Not that we can feel it, but at least you won’t stick out so much.”
“Alright fine,” the protester conceded. “I’ll at least see what you’re going to try and force me to wear.”
“Well, actually Valen will be picking out your outfits,” Niloy gave an innocent smirk. “She just has better sense when it comes to men’s clothes than I do, but I promise it won’t be something you hate. Now if the ladies would come along with me.”
The Fiends dispersed for a while into two groups, Chorus floating between the two of them to film. Drim and Phon were of course the first ones to be done. Phon only asked for minor changes, and Drim literally accepted the first thing that was handed to him since it matched his preferred colors—not caring about the design in the slightest.
He was put in a black peacoat with a long green scarf, perfect for a chilly day out in the elements. Phon’s blouse was left alone, but instead she ended up weaning a letterman jacket with the Fiends For Hire logo on it. This wasn’t a logo that any of them attached themselves or brought with them. No, the logo was already on it.
Turns out, there was a full collection of clothes and accessories centered around their organization. There were letterman jackets matching the colors of the four Greaters, along with a few other members—Phon’s of course being purple and white.
Niloy had been tempted for a moment to have them all dress in their respective jackets, but decided it’d look way too dorky as a group. The store clerk nearly fainted when she saw who came to the register to purchase it. Along with the jacket, she wore tights and a zoneball cap to replace her usual one, really looking ready for a day at a sports match.
Kada had tried on a lot more options, but Niloy eventually convinced her to wear a tubetop and denim short-shorts with ripped fabric at the bottom since showing a lot of skin ‘was her thing’. After complaints that it didn’t match the more cozy, comfy vibe they were going for, the woman was adorned with a large, oversized puffy jacket that she had to wear unzipped.
Xard, the pickiest out of all of them, refused about a dozen options from Valen before he’d even try any of them on. But at least when they got to that point, he liked it on the first try, ending up with a quarter-zip burgundy sweater over a dress shirt with slacks. Lastly, he let Valen tie up his hair which had admittedly been getting a bit long lately.
After everyone was properly adorned, they met up in the food court for a quick meal. Unlike the last time they were here, everyone was allowed to pick out whatever they liked. Though, Chorus suggested everyone should lean more into the cheap and humble fastfood options to seem even more normal, which was what most of them would have picked anyways.
But everyone still took their advice except for Kada. “Why the hell did you get The Sugar Coma again?” Xard asked with disappointment in his eyes, watching the woman shovel endless spoonfuls into her mouth from her gluttonous tub of ice cream.
“Listen,” she blubbered at first until she swallowed down her current mouthful. “This tub may have defeated me last time, but today, I will be victorious and eat it all in a single sitting! I’ve been training my entire life… or the last few years, at least.”
It was both intriguing and disturbing for all parties to watch, but they had some time to kill, so they sat around and chatted while Kada scratched off another one of her life goals—surely to regret it later.