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Fiends For Hire [Anti-Hero Action/Slice of Life] (4,500+ Pages)
V4: Chapter 8 - I Object | Part 1.2 - Pre-Wedding Jitters

V4: Chapter 8 - I Object | Part 1.2 - Pre-Wedding Jitters

Phon stared at the passing world below them as it blurred in front of her eyes. They were covering so much ground, but it felt immovably slow at the same time, like they were getting nowhere. Archlave was about as far from their compound as they could get, having to cross the entire world in just a few hours. Someone had stacked the odds against them.

Worst of all, now there was nothing the girl could do but wait, probably the single thing that she was worst at. She was regretting not going with the teleport option, much rather moving constantly than forced to sit still. At least then she could be actively chasing towards her goal instead of leaving it in someone else’s hands—not that she doubted Mallea would purposefully steer them off course.

Or would she… Maybe she was in on it too. Phon’s eyes leered to their helmsman who was focused at the wheel. No, if there’s one thing I can’t doubt it’s her love for Drim. But what if he went to her to confide in this stupid plan…? It was unlikely, but she’d been weighing every single possibility in her mind without end.

To prevent herself from doing something idiotic, like dangling Mallea over the edge, Phon went back to staring over the railing, letting herself get lost in the sights below. It was calming to an extent, but it also wasn’t stimulating enough for her mind, so she quickly got fed up again.

To pass any amount of time, the girl decided to explore the grand vessel they were currently soaring on through the sky. It was shaped like a giant ship, and it probably looked heavenly and majestic from the ground below, if anyone could see it—an arc fit for Cosmos himself.

The ship could fly high, even able to reach the edges of the atmosphere. It could also sink low, down to the depths of the ocean. Neither the wind nor water would be a problem since a barrier had been placed over the deck and ship as a whole, protecting it from any harm or environmental hazards. It also kept the passengers being blown right off to their deaths while allowing just enough of a breeze through to make the experience pleasant and exciting.

As her first point of distraction, Kada was leaning right over the ship’s bow, her butt in the air, feet off the ground as she sprawled over the railing. The dunce was in prime pushing position. Would it be too cruel to give her a light nudge and send her plummeting? Phon could easily catch her and call it a prank, and Kada would survive the fall anyways even if she wasn’t rescued.

But yes, it would probably be too much. At the very least, Phon understood that she shouldn’t potentially ruin their relationship for ‘haha, funny prank’. She’d made some strong personal growth in that regard, mostly because it’d bother Drim if Kada quit the group or something along those lines. Cosmos, it’d be funny though, and just the distraction she needed.

After a bit of mental back and forth, Phon settled for a solid spook. She snuck up behind Kada and slid one of her feet with her own, causing the girl to quickly leap back onto the deck in terror, sliding back on her butt and clutching the floor. “What the hell, Phon?! Not cool!”

“You’re lucky that’s all I did,” Phon assured her with a friendly smile. “What were you doing anyways? Trying to spit on the peasants below.”

“Well, yes…” Kada looked ashamed now since not only had she been caught, but also had apparently been so predictable that Phon guessed it on the first try. “Not really people, though! Buildings, landmarks, y’know! Not that I can really tell if I hit anything. But it’s fun. You should try it!”

“Would have rather just thrown you over,” Phon mumbled to herself.

“What?” the blue-haired girl did a double take, thinking she’d misheard.

“I said sure, that sounds like fun,” she leaned over the railing and took aim at a large clocktower before Kada could make another gripe. There was no way her spittle actually hit anything at the velocity they were traveling. It also probably disintegrated to mist long before it hit the ground, but the idea of nailing it perfectly was actually fun to imagine.

“So what do you think is going on?” Kada asked when Phon was back on firm feet. “It just doesn’t make sense to me. You said it yourself that Drim isn’t interested in romance, and Feyjrusa never seemed the type either. The only thing I can guess is that this current incarnation became stupidly lovestruck and hormonal after going through so many different changes at once and is doing something crazy because of it.”

That was an angle that Phon hadn’t considered, and it was just as plausible as most of the others. But that still wouldn’t explain it all, though it could be a catalyst. “I don’t know,” Phon signed as she leaned against the railing. “I still find it hard to believe there’s any romantic feelings involved, but crazier things have happened. I just wish I knew what was going on in Drim’s head right now.”

“Speaking of,” Kada leaned in closer. “Still the same reading from him?”

Phon hadn’t done a check in a bit since each time she did only increased her worry, but it was hard to resist when someone was prompting her. More inquiries for Phontext. ‘What is Drim currently doing?’ and ‘How is he feeling?’

The responses were 『He is currently mentally preparing himself for what he has to do next』 and 『Distressed』 Certainly not as helpful as anyone would like.

“No changes,” Phon’s face went sour. She then checked on Rusa, Tize, and Nachi as well. “Same thing for the others too. Though Nachi has gone from trying on dresses to putting on a suit. Guessing she won some argument. Annoying, though, since it looks like there won’t be any delay.”

“Have you thought about what you’re going to say to Drim when you get there?” Kada now looked frustrated herself, likely asking just so she could get her own thoughts in order.

“Plenty, none of it usable,” Phon had to admit. “More thought about what I’d say to Rusa, and the other two traitors. Do stabs count as words?”

“I, uhh, really think we should hear them out,” Kada said with hesitance, clearly not on the same wavelength. “Yeah, I’m upset too since we were left out from whatever’s happening, but clearly something is going on. Maybe we should get to the bottom of it before we do anything crazy? If we over react without hearing their side, we could just make everything worse.”

“Uhuh, uhuh, I hear you, and I get where you’re coming from,” the psychotic sister couldn’t invalidate her sensible points. “So how about we divide up the tasks. I’ll do whatever I feel like doing, and you listen for truth and rationale through the subtext of their screams and apologies. How does that sound?”

“More than I expected, so I’ll do my best,” Kada stood resolute. “Now if you’ll excuse me, we’re about to fly over a very tall tower, and I’m going to throw a melting rock at it to see if I can melt it too.”

Phon hadn’t expected herself to be the one dismissed and sent on her way, but she had to accept that everyone had their own ways of coping with the current situation. Though that wouldn’t stop her from bothering everyone else as her own form of dealing with the stress.

Mallea was her next target, just closest by proximity and her line of sight. Phon almost felt bad about disturbing her, almost. She admittedly looked rather distinguished and dignified as she steered the ship. Her tailcoat was fluttering ever so gallantly behind her as she stared ahead, deep in pensive thought and focus.

“So, Mallea, your master is getting married,” Phon couldn’t help herself but cut right to the teasing as soon as she approached. “As a loyal butler that must make you feel proud and joyous, since clearly nothing matters to you more than the Young Master’s happiness. And soon you’ll have two to serve. I’m sure you can’t wait to embrace Lady Feyjrusa as your charge with the same enthusiasm as Drim, working for her day after day for the rest of your life.”

The loyal butler didn’t respond right away, gripping tighter on the steering wheel and clenching her teeth at the thought, but then it slowly shifted to a smile. “I’m sure you’re even more excited to be gaining a new sister. Well a brother sometimes, I suppose. The Drazah Duet will be no more, despite how much you loved the name. Now everyone will be talking about Drim Drazah and his wife. Oh, and his sister is also there. But I’m sure you’ll be just as loving and supportive of Fanchusa as you are of Drim, since sibling bond is what you care about most.”

“I guess both of our lives will be changing quite a bit soon,” Phon matched her smile, curving a bit too far into creepy. “But not as much as theirs, so we should make sure we’re present to attend to anything they need. Such as if Rusa’s dress were to suddenly be ripped to shreds, she’ll be so fortunate to have you there and fix it for her, or maybe even make her a new one.”

Mallea’s eyes moved over towards the girl. “Or if they need someone to give a speech because there’s no guests at their sudden and spontaneous wedding, they’ll have you there to give a long, personal, passionate monologue.”

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Thus began a back and forth. “And since Drim has no parents, he’ll have you to walk him down the aisle, the great guardian that you’ve been.”

“And if he suddenly has cold feet or a second mind, he’ll have his loving sister’s shoulder to cry on.”

“If all the chairs and altar are destroyed inexplicably, you’ll be there to repair them.”

“Or if the venue were to suddenly catch on fire, you could teleport everyone to safety.”

“And if someone was inexplicably boiled in the food used for the reception, we could make new food for them together, and they’d be better off for it.” The women spouted off a few more insane scenarios, getting rather dark and twisted with each passing notion to allay their frustrations, but it just ended with the two of them laughing together—something that would never occur naturally in their relationship.

Eventually, they hit a bit of turbulence. And while the ship was fairly self correcting in that regard, it was still a good time for Phon to depart and let Mallea focus. She decided to head below deck since there was still one person to talk to. He wasn’t up on top, so that only meant he could be below. Unless he was off flying somewhere, though she doubted even he’d be able to keep up with the ship at its top speed.

“Hey Xard,” she started as soon as she got down the stairs and saw the person sitting in the lounge. “Wait, you’re not Xard,” Phon realized when she actually looked at them properly, not noticing until now that they had a stowaway on their ship.

The girl hadn’t been bothering to use her other vision so high up in the sky, not expecting there to be any surprises. Plus, that level of additional information was not what her mind needed right now. Having Phontext doing wellness checks was already overloading her racing mind.

When she thought of stowaways for a mission, quite a few people came to mind, mostly those who’d want to join for the thrills or some other exploitation. Like Phon had been genuinely surprised that Chorus hadn’t tagged along. Recording such drama should be at the height of their passion. Though the girl had seen two of their camera orbs floating around the ship earlier, documenting it all in their place.

Other candidates for acting as uninvited guests were Niloy and Itsy, always happy to go along wherever there was fun to be had and chaos to sow. Kada was in that group too, but she had a proper invitation already. Of all people, Phon had never expected Victori to act so rashly and impulsively. Hell, she’d led such a practically unassuming and reclusive existence since joining the group that the woman wasn’t even on Phon’s radar anymore.

“So what are you doing here, Victori?” She asked the girl who was staring back at her with guilt strewn across her face, clearly trying to hide her anxiety since she’d been caught and confronted—not that she’d been hiding well in the first place. “I don’t recall seeing your boarding pass.”

“Oh, err, I thought I could be helpful,” was the best excuse she could come up with on the spot. “Y’know, my power. I heard that there might possibly be some mind control or hypnosis foul play involved, and my Curse would be the best thing to counteract that. Or… possibly help someone come to their senses if they’re not in their right minds.”

“Hmm, not the worst idea for you to have come along then,” Phon had to admit, but then she bothered to remember Victori’s circumstances for joining their organization. “Oh right, you had some stupid scheme to marry Drim to gain access to our wealth and power… That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”

“Uh, huh? No?” the girl quickly denied it, confused how Phon could have made that leap in logic since that was now well in the past.

“Oh it’s fine, Victori. I understand completely,” Phon strode over and placed a hand on her shoulder. “We do a lot of crazy things for our families, to ensure their happiness, even if they can’t see it, or don’t fully understand. If you feel this is something you need to do, then you have my blessing. Even if that means you have to ruin this wedding, don’t let anyone stop you.”

“No, I wouldn’t dream of—” Victori tried to refute but then Phon’s hand started to squeeze.

“I said it’s fine, Victori. This wedding is only going to cause you problems, so you have to do something to stop it. It’s for your family, and I understand. But do you understand?”

“Uh, uh, yes,” she finally said just to get the pain from Phon’s grip to stop, not understanding anything.

“Then I’ll leave you to your evil, heartless plans,” now Phon was just projecting. “But I am glad you’re here. We may really need your power if it comes down to it.” She left the girl who had to contemplate the mess she’d gotten herself into and headed down another level.

“I feel like I’m being replaced,” The Artillery—actually Xard this time—bemoaned the existence of all the heavy equipment around him in the weapons bay.

“Well, these can’t take a hit as well as you,” Phon assured him. “Or actually maybe they can. I have no idea. Maybe it’s time to become a performer like you won’t stop rambling about.”

“So, we’re going with hostility to misplace our aggression then? I can get behind that.” Xard shrugged. “With Drim as a taken man, maybe you can finally get your own personality that isn’t centered around him.”

“Okay, that actually did sting a little bit,” Phon had to admit. “And I do have a personality besides that. In case you haven’t forgotten, and as the internet reminds me of the terminology endlessly, I am a major sadist. Without Drim as a distraction, I can focus all my time on torturing those around me for my unquenchable amusement.”

“We need to stop that wedding…” the man’s eyes went wide and grew into a distant stare as he foresaw a terrible future. “But speaking of, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking in that regard. No matter how I frame it, I believe that those assassination attempts on Feyjrusa and the king must be a factor in some way.”

“Oh wow, I completely forgot about those,” Phon’s voice sounded just as uninterested as she’d ever been when the words left her lips. “Feyjrusa can’t actually die, so I can’t say I’ve given their life and well-being any proper concern. I guess the assassins aren’t aware of that fact, or they’d be trying to imprison instead of kill. But how would any of that prompt this spontaneous nightmare? I mean wedding.”

“That’s the part I’m still trying to work out,” Xard pondered a bit more. “It’s possible their group made up this wedding as a hoax, to try and defame the monarchy by putting them in liege with criminals. These days, even if something isn’t even real, people will believe it even if they find out the truth later and chalk it up as a conspiracy. Could be just what they need to gain the support of the people, if the people are actually wanting change in Archlave and want Rusa’s family out of power.”

“A hopeful idea, but it doesn’t explain why Drim and the others are clearly getting ready for a wedding,” Phon had to refute.

“Yes, that is a flaw in that line of thinking,” Xard agreed. “Unless they’re actively planning to crash this sham event like we are and want to look the part. That’s the sort of stylish stunt our group would pull off for the fun of it and just as an insult to the enemy.”

“But if we’re not going that route, then it’s possible this is a fake wedding that Drim and Rusa are putting on,” the redhead moved on to another idea. “Similarly to what Victori was trying to do, but for show. Purposely align themselves with the Drazahs and the Fiends For Hire as a show of power and security. Though, I wouldn’t put it past Drim to actually go through with a real wedding for the exact same reasons. He’d go to any lengths for those he cares about.”

“Yes, that’s one of his best qualities, and why I hate him right now,” Phon was torn. “And that idea sounds more plausible than the first, but there is still one flaw. Rusa is already part of our group, but that also hasn’t stopped them. I hope you’re right about this being a fake wedding, though. That’s something I could actually forgive. Maybe. Eventually.”

“But I’d still have to kill this version of Rusa for her transgressions. And severely punish Tize and Nachi. And slap Drim senseless until he gets down on his knees and repents for not telling his sister about this! At least they’ll all get to live if that’s the case.”

Xard gave her a stern look. “While I certainly agree that there has been some poor communication in this regard. I hope you know that my position in the group would require me to step in if you actually actively try to hurt another member.”

Phon chuckled. “You’re welcome to try.”

“Ladies and gentleman aboard the… I forgot what this ship’s name was,” Mallea’s voice boomed over the speaker system. “We are now approaching Archlave.”

This prompted everyone to venture to the top deck, even Victori who was made queasy by the idea—obviously why she’d been hiding in the lounge to begin with. For such a den of evil, as Phon now saw it, the place certainly was beautiful. From up high, it gave the island nation a stunning new perspective. And since it was just about to turn to night, the lights that shone below sparkled the land like stars.

Phon swapped over to her other vision, the island lighting up with new specks of light: the auras of the citizenry. “Oh zjik, I see Drim’s aura!” she pointed towards the castle and Mallea immediately began veering right towards it. His aura was unmistakable to her and shone brighter than anyone else’s. She’d never mistake it, like his very soul was guiding her.

As they drew closer, Phon focused more and more on the building at his location. Eventually, she was able to see inside, the chapel where the ceremony was being held. And then she saw Drim, standing at the altar with Tize by his side and Nachi in the middle. It seemed she was officiating and likely had to be replaced by the woman standing off to the bridal side, maybe one of Feyjrusa’s former caretakers.

The crowd was rather small, a few high ranking officials, all standing as the bride-to-be walked down the aisle, led arm-in-arm with the King of Archlave himself. Her dress was stunning, she looked beautiful, but what hurt most was the bewitched look in Drim’s eyes as she drew near.

Phon’s heart twisted as she watched this farce. Something felt wrong, so very wrong. This scene didn’t add up. Why was it happening? Why didn’t she know? Why had her brother, who she loved more than anyone, not shared this with her? Had she not been there for him every step of the way, not loyal enough to confide in? Or had his relationship with Feyjrusa grown so much, and she was just too blind to it?

Maybe her crazy tendencies were exactly why he hadn’t said anything, too scared of how she’d react if she knew the truth. In a way, she wouldn’t blame him if that was the case, but it still hurt. Cosdamned it hurt. And when she watched Drim pull back Rusa’s veil and grab her hands, the pain became too much.

No, this isn’t right. Something’s really wrong here and someone’s pulling the strings. I have to stop it before it’s too late! Phon readied her yo-yo, pulled down her ribbon and vanished from the deck of the ship, unable to wait a single moment longer.

She appeared right behind the bride in the chapel. Before anyone could notice her presence, she revved her transformed yo-yo and lunged right at the woman, aiming for her neck. “Feyjrusa!”