This chapter takes place between Volumes 4 and 5
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Rezin plopped his butt down into his cozy gaming chair with specially designed armrests that let him hold a controller or portable game system without fatigue. He donned his noise-canceling headphones that were synced to the giant high-resolution TV in front of him. Lit up on the screen was the loading menu of the new game that had just released seconds ago, one he had been waiting years for.
The boy had been preparing for this. On the tables next to either side of his chair were countless snacks as well as a few small frozen bites he’d just heated. His chair came with a built-in cooler that was stocked with sodas. In his actual fridge, there were also several pre-made actual meals ready to be reheated. He’d considered getting a portable toilet but decided that was a bit too much, especially since the bathroom was just a few steps away.
After adjusting his neck pillow and snuggling himself into his blanket with attached sleeves, he was ready to go. The Nobody had saved up all of his time-off for the past few months, so for the next week at least, he had absolutely no plans or commitments. All of his devices had been set to do-not-disturb, and there was a sign on his door asking for privacy. Nothing was going to get in the way of playing his game.
Unlike some, he ignored the ‘New Game’ button at first, jumping down to the options menu, as he did for every game. After tweaking each setting to his preference, which he wished were always the default options, he returned back to the start. And finally, he began the game. The opening cutscene started playing, and Rezin was suddenly flung from his chair.
It took the boy a second to process what had happened. He was now flat on the floor, tangled up in his blanket. After sitting upright, he glanced around, grimacing pitifully at the carnage. All of his food was now on the floor, his open drink had spilled—fortunately away from the electronics at least. Thankfully, his TV and everything else was mounted and secure, just a bit jostled.
Right as he pried himself off the floor, there was another rumble, less intense this time. But then there was another, and another, as if they were now following a proper cadence. And they were steadily growing in strength and volume, as if the source was headed his way.
Surely someone else will deal with it, right? was the boy’s first thought as he picked up his controller, checking for any damage. But the thuds kept coming, and then Rezin happened to remember a tidbit of information, about a big project going on. I’ll just go take a peek real quick, see that everything’s fine, then right back to my game!
The Nobody poked his head out into the hallway. There was no one in sight, but there was still a wake of destruction. Pictures had fallen off the walls, the glass of the frames shattered. A few potted plants and pottery had toppled over, some in better states than others. He rushed down the corridor and out the front door of the building, but still couldn’t see what was happening, his view blocked by the residential apartments.
Whatever it was, it seemed to be coming from the mountain range north of the compound now that Rezin had better context. At least it wasn’t inside their home, so that alone was a bit reassuring. But it still didn’t explain why such a commotion was allowed to happen. Even when they trained in the mountains, it was farther away so that no one would be disturbed.
The boy trotted out further, back towards the general’s mansion. Once the obstructions were out of the way, he finally caught a glimpse of the damnable thing that was cutting into his gaming time. “A mech?!” his eyes glistened at the sight of the giant robot—suddenly no longer annoyed that his plans had been interrupted.
But that still didn’t mean that the sudden appearance of the unknown metal monster was a good thing. Why was it there? Who was operating it? Was it some new device that Nathym built? No, it couldn’t have been since Nathym wasn’t around. And that raised a good point. Where was anyone? Rezin glanced around and found no one else scrambling at the sight of the mech or the ruckus it was causing.
Maybe he was dreaming all this. Perhaps it was still the night before the game’s release and he was having a nightmare about being unable to play that. Usually those involved internet connection issues, though, so he had to commend his brain for the creativity this time. The boy went to pinch himself to be sure, but before he could, something brushed against his leg, already confirming that he wasn’t dreaming.
Rezin glanced down and found a koala-fox, but not Pox. This one was colored mauve, and it didn’t stay a monster for long. The creature morphed into an egg and then spat out a tired Laurim a second later. After a big stretch to her feet with accompanying yawn, the girl asked, “This is some weird hallucination you’re making, Rezin. It even feels like the ground is shaking. But did you have to ruin my catnap?”
“Uhh, I’m not doing this,” The Nobody denied the accusation.
“Ehh?” The Zoo took another glance, shock shaking her out of her zonked, still half-asleep state. “Wait, that’s real? What do we do?!”
“I don’t know!” Rezin answered immediately, not providing much help. “Someone else will know, right? We should get Tize.”
“But Tize isn’t here, though, nobody is,” Laurim elaborated just how mawhged they were.
“Huh, where is everybody then?” The boy began looking around again, somewhat doubting the girl’s claims, not that she had any tendency to lie.
Laurim pulled up their app and swapped to the member tab where it displayed everyone’s current locations, jobs, or other assignments. “Uhh, most members are out on jobs, and pretty much all the generals and support staff are out west.”
“Ah, right…” Rezin then remembered the big project he wasn’t really a part of, his unique talents not much help in that scenario. Though the idea did intrigue him, and was surprisingly relevant to their current situation.
“Vank and Hazzle are out shopping, and the kids and faculty are still on their field trip to Cotagerie for a few more days,” Laurim continued. “I guess all the residents are either at work or too desensitized to weird things happening…”
“Wait, does that really mean we’re the only ones here?” The boy started to panic, the stabbing knife of responsibility creeping up his back.
“Oh, uhhh, Ahvra’s here,” Laurim noticed. “But she’s in hibernation mode—not expected to wake up for 27 more hours.”
“That’s even worse!” Rezin’s anxiety only grew.
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“How so?” the girl inquired, blissfully unaware of what terrible fate was looming.
“Umm, Ahvra hates being interrupted, right?” the boy tried to explain. “And she hates having to sleep even more. So what do you think would happen if something interrupted her sleep and she found out we were responsible?!”
“Uhhh….” Laurim thought on it for a moment. “We’d die.”
“Yes!” Rezin was glad it finally got through to her. “And then she'd bring us back and kill us again. It’d be like having infinite lives on an impossible level! We have to do something!”
“But what can we do against that thing?!” The Zoo’s anxiousness finally caught up. “I could turn into a big monster, I guess, but that robot looks tough! It would hurt my teeth if I tried to bite it!”
“Maybe we should figure out who’s inside first,” the boy suggested, somehow now the less panicked of the two. “If they’re not one of us, they shouldn’t be able to get past the barrier, right?”
“Uhh, okay,” Laurim agreed. “Guess we need to get a bit closer then.” The pair walked all the way to the north gate of the compound, not daring to cross its threshold as the giant mech stomped ever closer. Both were practically shaking in their shoes when the machine finally came to a full and complete stop.
Surprisingly, the robot just sat idle for a moment, not trying to bash its way through the forcefield. It just stood around, as if it was waiting to be let inside. A speaker clicked on, and a man’s voice boomed through it. “Attention Fiends For Hire, your reckoning has come!”
“Is it that Pense Betitahonk guy?” Rezin guessed. “Haven’t met him, but sounds like something he’d say.”
“No…” Laurim was suddenly more distraught then before. “I know that voice. I'll never forget it!”
Before she could reveal who it was, the man continued. “I’ve spent the past two years perfecting my machine, specifically to take you all out! Your bounties were high before, so I imagine they’ve only grown since, and now I’ll be the one to claim them!”
“I’ve electrified the shell of the mech, so there’s no way you’ll be able to melt it, and I’ve given it an aura as well, so you can’t teleport in or out of it! No amount of energy from your blasts will be able to break through either. And as for dealing with your plants…”
The giant robot held out its hands and rods shot out of them. More metal protruded, continuing to morph into a new device: a weapon for the mech. “I created this giant lawnmower!” The mech slammed the mower against the compound’s barrier. It whirled as sparks flew and the man continued to laugh.
“That’s the former head scientist of the CP monster research division,” The Zoo finally explained, “He was in charge of me for most of my life, but he just disappeared one day! I guess this must be why. He probably decided there was more money in bounty hunting, so he left to build this robot. That makes me feel… a lot of things. Can’t think about them right now.”
“Seems like his information’s a bit out of date,” The Nobody had noticed. “By the sound of it, he’s expecting to fight the Greaters. Guess he doesn’t know they’ve been gone for a while. And honestly it sounds like he doesn’t know about the rest of us either.”
“Yeah he’s always been like that…” Laurim’s voice trailed, disheartened. “Whenever he gets focused on something, it absorbs him entirely until it’s done. Most likely, as soon as he decided to do this, he hasn’t looked up any new information on the Fiends For Hire or even the state of the world ever since, probably working in seclusion.”
“And I thought I was a recluse…” Rezin suddenly felt much better about his lifestyle. “But okay. You know him, so you’d know his weakness, right? Like a debuff or negative modifier. Something to give us the advantage.”
“Umm, err, umm,” Laurim wracked her brain. She looked up briefly at the giant lawnmower still looming above them. Fortunately, it hadn’t made any actual progress destroying the barrier, despite how bad the carnage of sparks looked. If anything, the mech’s mechanics were just wearing themselves down, though it probably looked like it was making headway from the scientist's perspective.
But this gave the girl time to dig into her mind, to really reflect on her history with the man. And one thing finally popped to the forefront. “Oh yeah!” she suddenly remembered. “There was one monster he was always terrified of, spidermice!”
“Alright, I can work with that!” The Nobody gained confidence and held out his hands in the direction of the mech’s cockpit. “I’ll keep him distracted, and I’ll leave bringing that thing down to you!”
“Uhhh, okay!” The Zoo tried to sound confident too, but there was still one problem. “But he said it was covered in electricity, right? Then how would I…? No, I’ve got it. Transform: Jeellyfish!”
While Laurim’s egg incubated, Rezin’s hallucination took hold. “Is-is that a spidermouse? Bah! How did that get in here? Guh, wily little thing, get smashed, you! Wah? There’s another one?! Zjik, it’s a whole horde! Oh Cosmos, they’re biting me! Foul creatures, leave me be! Ahgh!”
The mech ceased trying to destroy the barrier, and instead it began stepping randomly and flailing about. Almost certainly its pilot was hitting random buttons as he desperately tried to free himself from his torment. And eventually, the giant robot tripped itself, falling backwards and landing on its very uncushioned metal tuchus.
As soon as the egg hatched, the monster inside burst from the shell and slithered right towards its mechanical foe. The giant Jeellyfish constricted around the mechanized monster and squeezed. As soon as they touched, the mech’s electrical shield began discharging into the beast, but to no avail, and it wasn’t long before the entire thing shorted out. And on top of that, Laurim’s own static embedded into the machinery, frying components and the whole thing started to smoke.
In just seconds, they already had their intruder on the ropes, and Laurim would just need to keep squeezing until the whole thing broke. But then help came from an unexpected source. “Babuu!” Drimini flew out of nowhere, and for once, there was clear anger in her solitary word.
She flew up past the giant lawnmower, disdaining its existence. Somehow, the flora-fairy seemed to understand how much of a threat it was, and what its implications were. But now that it had been temporarily disabled, she took her chance to fight back. Green portals appeared all around the titanic tool, and all down the robot’s arms.
Black vines shot out and began embedding themselves in every joint, nook, and cranny. The plants got to work, gunking up the inner mechanisms and breaking everything vital where they could. A few moments later, the hands of the robot detached themselves. The giant mower slid off the barrier, down to the ground, where it crashed to its side.
“Bababa bubu bubu bubabuu!” Drimini was content with her work, proud of her victory over the mechanized terror, but she didn’t stop there. The young plant flew to the cockpit and used more vines to wrench it open. She then nabbed the scientist, who was still fighting off invisible spidermice, and flew off with him over the mountains. One final “Babuu!” was all the Fiends heard before the two of them disappeared from sight.
Laurim turned back to human and began walking around the mech’s corpse as Rezin joined her. “So umm, what are we supposed to do with this thing?”
“Err, it’d be kind of fun to pilot it,” the boy briefly mused. “But I think we damaged it too much for that. And I could hide it with my Curse, I suppose… But no, then someone would just bump into it. Neither of us are super strong either, so I doubt we could move it ourselves.”
“Maybe we could see if they have anything in the lab that could get rid of it. After Ahvra wakes up,” the girl made sure to clarify.
“Garuu!” The two Fiends turned around, Pox behind them at their feet. He dug into his pouch and pulled out a bib and tied it around his neck, and then he dug in again, pulling out a fork and knife. The small fluff ball gave the pair a knowing nod before he dashed forward towards the robot, a bit of anxious drool dripping from his mouth.
“Ah, my game!” Rezin suddenly remembered as they watched the tiny monster begin its meal. The boy turned around, and took two hurried steps, but then stopped in his tracks and turned back to Laurim. “Umm, if you’re not busy with something else, do you want to come hang out and watch me play?”
“Sure!”