◆Final Question: Shoot the Koala-Fox◆
While not quite a question, the applicants would be providing an answer. The correct answer would entirely depend on the person, each needing to put on a different show. Their willingness, their hesitance, their ability to follow orders, their ability to think for themselves. It was all under evaluation.
Right in front of the candidate’s chair, a hole would open in the floor. From below, a pedestal with a gun on it would rise up with Pox sitting next to it on a cushion.
“Please shoot the Koala-Fox,” one of the Fiends would instruct, taking turns with each applicant. “While we normally don’t use guns, we understand their efficiency. Please show us your resolve. This is your final test for admittance into the Fiends For Hire.”
----------------------------------------
{No. 29; Asset 29 - Lesser Fiend | Would He Even Be Joining At That Point? / At Least Get This Guy a Pet or Something / Only Commits Crimes During Work Hours / Tally Curse Marks / Gives Little Info Per Usual / Doesn't Mince Words / And People Say No One Wants to Work Anymore / Needs To Attend a Comedy Course / Wants Purpose / Good With Any Weapon or Tool / Doesn't Dream / Doesn't Understand the Concept of Hobbies / Specialized Contractor | Ahvra's Notes: Too Compliant / Needs Annoyingly Specific Instruction / Dead inside?}
“Understood,” Asset grabbed the gun without a moment’s hesitation and pressed the gun right to Pox’s head. He pulled the trigger a second later, but was the only one shocked when the koala-fox’s head only tilted slightly. A rod was now pushing into Pox from the barrel of the gun, and a banner with the word ‘Bang’ unfurled unceremoniously.
“As expected,” Drim let out a heavy sigh, clearly disappointed. “Alright, Asset, you’ll do any job as long as you’re properly compensated, correct?”
“That is correct. The work does not matter as long as I’m paid,” Asset confirmed, actually curious as to where this was going.
Drim pulled out a common card, prompting Asset to do the same. Both beeped as a substantial sum was transferred. “I’m your boss now, so you have to do whatever I say, yeah?” Asset merely nodded in response. “Good, then your job is to find something worth living for. We have no need for thoughtless drones. If we wanted that we’d just have Nathym build some robots.”
“You will leave here immediately, and you will not return until you have a reason to enjoy life besides work. It can be anything: a simple hobby, a pet, helping out at a soup kitchen, traveling the world. I don’t really care. Just whatever it is, it has to give you meaning in doing it. You have to look forward to it when you wake up, and wish you could do more of it when you go to bed. When you’ve found that something, come back here and tell me about it. I’ll have more work for you then.”
“As…” It was clear that Asset was having an internal conundrum, but couldn’t go against his code and pride in his work, especially now that he’d been paid. “As my employer wishes.”
----------------------------------------
{No. 65; Jaid Sparka (The Warrior) - Fiend | Really Doesn't Want To Be A Criminal. Then You're In The Wrong Place / All Work and No Play / Well That's Depressing / Embarrassing Crimes / Need A Hand? Curse Mark / Revenge for Mother / Looking to 'Find Herself' / Sentimental / Multi-Jaid / Carries a Big Sword / Wants To Follow Mother's Dream / Likes Alone Time and Outdoors / Made Drim Annoyed at Us :c / Ex-Merc | Ahvra's Notes: Weird About Her Arms / Capable Despite Appearance / Formerly Injured. Fiend Anomaly}
Jaid hesitantly picked up the gun and examined it for a moment, then looked at the small creature by her feet. “Can I ask why?” She seemed unconvinced.
“Yes, you can!” Kada cheered with glee. “And it’s great that you did. The fact that you asked was all we needed.”
<{No. 65; Jaid Sparka; Status: ACCEPTED>
----------------------------------------
{No. 118; Gatrim Foilepe (The Memory [TBD]) - Lesser Fiend | Low Self-Image / Train Him To Death, Nachi! / We're Going to Be Invaded by Angry Women? Oh no... (Stop Putting Stupid Things Here Kada) / Just a Dumb Ass Sheltered Noble / Sparkly Rapier Curse Mark / Messed Up Family Tradition / Family Issues / Thinks Highly of What We Can Offer / Actually Lives Up to His Boasting / Uses Rapier / A Lot of Pride / Lives Fancily / Oddly Pure / In Training | Ahvra's Notes: Nerves May be a Problem / Secret Power? / Full of Himself. Stop Shaking}
“A gun? How deplorable!” Gatrim nearly vomited his disgust. “No, if I am to end this creature’s life, it will be in a fair duel! Come fluffy lad, let us fight this out as gentlemen!” Gatrim took several paces away, and prepared to strike with his rapier before he was stopped by the group.
<{No. 118; Gatrim Foilepe; Status: ACCEPTED>
----------------------------------------
{No. 100; Rezin Anish - Fiend | This Boy Gonna Hog So Much Bandwidth / Loner / Can't Even Crime Right / I'm Going To Gouge Out My Eyes After That / Oops, Accidental Fiend / You Can Do It, Rezin! / Here's Hoping We Don't Corrupt Him / Actually Fun to Play Games With / Hallucinations, yet not quite? Hard to Explain / Pure / Made a Friend / Unemployed / Their Life is Sad | Ahvra's Notes: My Head Hurts / Eyes Playing Tricks / Hard to Pin Down}
Rezin was slow to grab the gun but finally managed. It took him even longer holding it to finally point it at Pox. Even if he took a shot, there’s no way he’d hit with how much he was shaking, rivaling Gatrim’s shakiness earlier in the day. Eventually, the gun slipped out of his fingers, clunking to the floor.
“I’m sorry, I just can’t!!!” Tears flooded Rezin’s face and a bit of snot dripped out as well. It took several minutes and a few attempts at consoling before they could give Rezin his notice of acceptance.
<{No. 100; Rezin Anish; Status: ACCEPTED>
----------------------------------------
{No. 50; Tize Scound (The Refuge) - Lesser Fiend | Looks At The Big Picture / Refuses To Be Old / Do You Think Tize Would Get Mad If We Funded Them Behind His Back? / Bully Beatdown / Boring Shield Curse Mark / Killed Bad Guy in Military / Determined To Prove He's Still Useful / He's Like a Dad / Good at Being Good / Has a Full Arsenal and a Honking Big Shield / Standard Dreams / Too Good of a Person / Ex-Military | Ahvra's Notes: Historically Mistreated / Humble / Stiff Ex-Soldier}
“This gun is fake,” Tize declared, not even a second after picking it up. “Whoever made it did a good job. The detail is very realistic. However, they forgot to account for the weight of the bullet in the chamber. Whatever’s in there is too light.” Tize pointed the gun at the ceiling and pulled the trigger, smirking at the results.
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
<{No. 50; Tize Scound; Status: ACCEPTED>
----------------------------------------
{No. 66; Itsy Humdiddy (The Wrecking Ball) - Fiend | Heavy-Duty / Loving Family / One Man's Trash... / Robo-Joints Curse Mark / Killed Scummy Business Partner, Brutally / I Swear to Cosmos if we don't accept her... / Walking Collateral Damage / Content To Be Ignorant / Strong is Enough for Her / Seriously, like picks up her truck, and just, whamo? I Gotta See This / Likes Monster Trucks and Rocks / Mechanic | Ahvra's Notes: If Joins, Make Sure all Allocated Supplies and Furniture are Reinforced / Too Strong / Big Woman}
Itsy picked up the gun but couldn’t get her finger to fit properly over the trigger. “Uhh, can I just beat the little critter with it?” Itsy quickly gave up. “Second thought, it’s mighty cute. How ‘bout I just take it off your hands instead. If you want some roadkill, my truck’s an expert at making it.”
Drim perked up at this, but the glares he got in response prevented him from saying anything.
<{No. 66; Itsy Humdiddy; Status: ACCEPTED>
----------------------------------------
{No. 89; Roque Personson (The Swindler) - Fiend | Mr. Moneybags Doesn't Want Our Help / Can't Tell If Great or Terrible Boss / Hard To Tell If He's a Good Person or Not / Disgusting Curse Mark / Ruined Ex-Wife's Life For Revenge / A Surprisingly Good Guy in the Weirdest Way / Seems to Hate The Rich. Isn't He Rich? / Secret Market Connections / Legal Thievery? / Takes A Lot of Stock in Capitalism / Sorry We Ruined Your Dream! / Follows Trends / Sketchy Businesses | Ahvra's Notes: Sold Blood for Cheap. See if you can Buy More / Shifty. Thief?}
“How much will you pay me to do it?” Roque seriously asked as he contemplated his options.
“Uhh, none,” Xard informed him.
“Not worth it then, even if I fail,” Roque refused and set down the gun. “This little guy can be a potential customer, too. Ole Roque here doesn’t discriminate. And killing customers is bad for business, so there better be a good profit in it for me. Here you go, a free sample.”
Roque handed Pox a hard candy he pulled from his coat pocket. Pox unwrapped it and eagerly began eating the wrapper. Then, he pelted the candy back at Roque, who managed to catch it in his mouth with his superb reflexes. “Welp,” Roque swirled the candy around in his mouth. “Customers will always surprise ya.”
<{No. 89; Roque Personson; Status: ACCEPTED>
----------------------------------------
{No. 44; Kaizu Izuzu - Lesser Fiend | We WILL Help You / Mostly Reasonable Requests / Even She Has an Innocent Side / She Should Run For Office / All Her Curse Marks Is Why She's In This Mess / Killed Coworker / Forcefully Accepted / Serial Killer / Condescending / Why is She Here, Exactly? / Professional Hobbyist Serial Killer / Haunted By The Dead / Mass Murderer / Clearly Something Going On / Uhh ??? / Corporate Drone | Hard Worker | Ahvra's Notes: Unnoteworthy}
“Hmm, can animals give me a Curse Mark? Will this thing give me a Curse Mark?” Kaizu started getting excited at the prospect. She still couldn’t grab the gun with her restrained hands, so she lowered her face near it, measuring it with her mouth to see if she could possibly operate it that way.
“No, Pox is a very good boy so you’d get nothing.” Drim delivered the bad news.
“Damn it,” Kaizu spat the gun out that she’d just worked into her mouth. “You have no idea how upset I would be if you tricked me into killing something innocent, especially something as cute as that. I’d probably go on a rampage and try to murder everyone here, since only truly evil mawhgers would make me do that.” She said with a calm and straight face.
----------------------------------------
{No. 121; Niloy 'Nini' Spatzel (The Flesh-Eater) - Fiend | Oddly Hostile Towards Kada. I Support It / I Don't Envy Mallea / Loves Her Parents / Shameless / Nom Nom Flesh Curse Mark / Killed Boyfriend Who Scammed Her Parents / Actually Likes Helping People. Didn't Expect That / Aww, She Called Us Popular / No / Wacky Water (I Hate Whoever Wrote This. Guessing Kada. -Phon) / Uses Waterguns? How does that work? / Happy With Life / Spends All Day on Her Phone / Seeks Affirmation from Others / Freelancer / Bad at Customer Service | Ahvra's Notes: Many Innuendos / Vain / Trying to flirt?}
“Whaaaaat, no! That’s so uncool!” Niloy practically threw a tantrum. “No way, I don’t believe it. This is definitely a test. So mean. I’d never hurt this little thing. But huh… Maybe it’s too cute. We may compete over cuteness, and I better win. A bald spot would make me the clear victor.”
Niloy licked the tip of her finger and poked towards Pox’s forehead. Luckily, Drim managed to snatch Pox away in time with a vine. Despite this transgression, Niloy was still accepted.
<{No. 121; Niloy 'Nini' Spatzel; Status: ACCEPTED>
----------------------------------------
{No. 152; Chorus Mistrion (The Quick Changer) - Fiend | Maybe 'Hiring' Them As Our PR Was A Mistake / How Long Until Chorus Asks For A Live Studio Audience? / Toxic Relationships / Childhood Deceased / Everchanging Mask Curse Mark / Killed Corrupt Talent Agent / Is Our New PR Person, I Guess? / Already Suckered Kada / Wants Us To Be Stars? / My Childhood is Being Ruined / Quickly Changes. Spot on Name / Shackled Suitcase / Something About Stars IDK / Looking For Passion / Former Actor/Actress | Ahvra's Notes: My Body is Confused / Smile Haunts Me / Don’t Like. Causes Stress}
“Heh, I’ve researched your group enough to know this is your pet-mascot-thing,” Chorus accurately accused them. “You can’t fool someone who lies professionally for a living. However, since I won’t be killing the poor thing, we can still put on a show.”
Chorus launched their attached clothing carrier, currently a briefcase, at Pox. He popped out a second later, in full ballet garb. A few more outfits later and multiple pictures taken, and everyone was suitably entertained, ignoring the fact that this meant Chorus had small animal sized clothing prepared in advance.
<{No. 152; Chorus Mistrion; Status: ACCEPTED>
----------------------------------------
{No. 144; (The Beacon) - Fiend | Has Sorted Out Her Priorities / So Alone / Didn't Specify Wrongdoings / Religious Tramp Stamp / Ambiguous How They Became a Fiend / Seems To Basically Worship Us / Holds Us in High Regard / Purification! / Behold, The Bauble! / Doesn't Impose Beliefs / Get This Woman Her Own Bath / Monster Hunter | Ahvra's Notes: Unsure if Prayer is part of Curse / Religion is Powerful? / Very Religious. Bad sense of age.}
“Gah, what is this?!” The Beacon nearly retched in her seat. “This creature, where did you find it?! It’s the most impure thing I’ve ever seen. And this taint on it… What is this?! It’s not from this world. No, this thing is clearly an affront to Cosmos and the world he made. It does not belong here. I will get rid of it immediately!”
The Beacon’s bauble started glowing brightly, spinning faster than ever before. Clearly, she was charging up a powerful attack, one that was worrying to the others. They all responded together to completely ensure Pox’s safety.
Phon teleported him over to the table. Drim used his vines to wrap up the bauble and contain it. Kada melted the floor slightly under the back legs of her chair so it toppled backwards. As The Beacon was falling, Xard activated the restraints in her chair.
The Beacon was clearly confused as she was reorientated upright. “Sorry for the test and the confusion, but you have just committed an unforgivable sin,” Drim spoke to her on her level. “As such, we have no recourse but to refuse you. Pox is very much a part of our family, and any attack on him is an attack on us. We couldn’t in good conscience let someone remain here who would despise his existence.”
“However…” After a long pause so The Beacon could wallow in their confusion for a bit longer, Drim added a consolation. “Since we all support the work you do in its betterment for the world, we do believe you should be rewarded and supported. So even though you’ve failed, please follow the accepted members to our engineer’s workshop and receive a gift from us.”
----------------------------------------