I had a strange dream. I had found the perfect girlfriend. She was funny, strong, sexy, and also fit in perfectly in our group. It felt as if Agnis and her were siblings and she had good synergy with Greg in combat. I just couldn’t see her face. Her voice seemed muted. Why isn’t my dream telling me anything?

I tried my best to remember the details of the dream. Only the feeling lingered. It was anything unlike I’ve felt before when talking to chicks or being in a relationship with them. What is this?

I didn’t get much time to think it over because someone was at the door.

Oh, Greg and Elliana, are you two on a date? Hehe. I smirked

A date? No, we came here to ask you if you could teach Elliana lightning magic.

Huh, why would you ask me and not Agnis?

He is quite busy you know. It was also his idea to ask you.

Uhh I would love to but I don’t know if I’m a good teacher.

“Greg will be here to give you tips. Can you give it at least a try?” My buddies will do anything for me. They even went to fish me out of Event Horizon and I’m willing to do the same.

Ok! Just know that I have no clue what I’m doing most of the time and just go off intuition!

“I know. Thanks! So, when do we start?”

Uhh, I could use some distraction. How about in 10 minutes?

How about we help you clean out your house since you probably need those 10 minutes to find your pants…

I looked down and was indeed pants less.

I swear I put it on my chair yesterday. It just randomly disappeared…

Here Elliana, some gloves and a gasmask.

Wait! How rude my house isn’t that messy!

Greg and Elliana ignored me and entered my house.

“This is worse than I had imagined… we might be here all day… How does he live like this?”

Greg [Shadow Bound] Elliana as she almost stepped on something I forgot to clean up.

Normally, Agnis sends his clones over and uses their speed to clean up Raishin’s house but he is too occupied now.

“It is quite heart warming to see how good of a friends you are.”

Well, it’s all we have.

Greg made a lot of shadow clones. Raishin just go sit in a corner. Cleaning always gets counterproductive when you help out, leave this to Elliana and me.

But… my pants…

We will attempt to locate that first. Just go relax or something.

Ok.

Elliana and the army of Greg’s started to clean up my house. I wonder if Greg has the same feeling towards Elliana as I had towards that chick in my dream. He is always with her but he never does anything. Maybe he’s asexual? I never considered that. Given the circumstances, I would also think Agnis is asexual but from time to time it seems more as if he’s trying his best to not fall for someone.

He did once say he encountered a chick he almost fell for. He had spent a lot of time looking for her since she disappeared. Is that why he isn’t letting anyone else in? There is still so much I don’t know about my buddies.

And what am I supposed to do while I’m here? Greg is learning Elvish magic and getting ready to help Agnis with alchemy. Agnis is working his ass off to make a spirit vessel for the guardian spirit and himself. And I am just… here. Maybe it is a good thing that they asked me to teach Elliana lightning magic.

I have decided! I will give it my all! What do I know about lightning magic? It is cool, strong and has a lot of colors! But I’m sure Elliana knows this too. What else do I know about lightning magic?

…

I can’t come up with anything else. Isn’t this bad? How am I supposed to teach Elliana anything?!

I started to panic. Don’t tell me I have to study!? I hate studying!

Oh, I remember what Agnis told me about short-range teleports! And that is everything I know. Ugh, this is bad. I should have told them that we would start tomorrow, or in a week, or in a month.

I looked at the army of Greg’s and Elliana. They did say cleaning might take a while day. Maybe I can use this time to learn about lightning magic. I went outside. The only one in this village I can ask about lightning magic is Agnis and he is busy so I will have to somehow find this out by myself.

Various lightning skills got tested out. I then realized that I was still cheating. I don’t need to use lightning magic because I can generate enough energy to create real lightning. Is this why I don’t understand anything about lightning magic?

I tried actual lightning magic and it felt inefficient to me. I remember Agnis mentioning that my magic circles were really sloppy. I don’t have this feeling with fire and wind magic but I can’t use those without magic so maybe I’m just used to it.

The more I tried to get my lightning magic to match my normal lightning spells the more I felt my magic circle was limiting me. I could brute force through it but it would cost considerably more energy than my 0-mana lightning.

I sat down. I might have to ask Agnis to help me and fix this and I probably would have to study for this… Why am I so shit?

In the end, I couldn’t find out more about lightning magic because all these skills have different properties and I couldn’t find out what is lightning specific. Why am I so stupid? I decided to just improvise. Elliana knows nothing about lightning magic, neither does Greg. As long as she doesn’t suck it shouldn’t be a problem!

It took them the whole day to clean up my house. They admonished me for going outside without pants and told me that they couldn't find the pants I mentioned. That is strange. They went back home and would start the training tomorrow.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

I had that strange dream again. I have strange dreams from time to time. I had a similar dream before I got sent to Event Horizon. It was as vague as this one. I only realized that the dream was some sort of message the moment I was in the middle of the event.

It was the part where we were hiding under the magma lake. Is this dream warning me of something or telling me to find this chick?

I got up and my room looked strange. It looked bigger and brighter without all the stuff in it. I then noticed my pants in the corner next to my full body mirror. Silly Greg, how could he have missed it? I wanted to walk over but stopped. This pair of pants is the only thing in this corner. There is no way he would miss this. My intuition alarmed me.

What… what is this…

The pants wiggled and its shape started to warp. I didn’t take my chances and used [Nova Blast] on it.

I woke up again. Was this a dream? My intuition was still going off. My room was still clean but the pants was still there. I pinched myself and I woke up again.

What is going on?!

I pinched myself again. I was in reality. I think. Is this one of Agnis’ pranks? My intuition still senses danger so I don’t think so.

“So, you are accustomed to illusions.” The pants warped and a small ugly man appeared.

Who are you and what did you do to my pants!

“I am your pants!”

I shivered and covered my crotch in disgust.

Ewww! Pervert! What sick hobby is this!

“It is not a hobby! It is the only way I could infiltrate this elven village! You are quite careless, aren’t you?”

Wait is this why this pants was so cheap?!

“So, you are not a complete idiot. I am Frank a god of illusions. I am here to capture the new Calamity trio.”

Calamity what?

“You do know that your mothers were called the Calamity trio, right?”

Ehh sure.

“So, you didn’t… Well, we gods regard you 3 as the new generation of the Calamity trio. Biian had promised me that she would have the nine tailed spirit fox coach me in the better applications of illusions if I catch the 3 of you and bring you to her.”

I don’t get it. But I do get that your illusions suck. Agnis is way better!

“And that is why I need to catch the three of you.”

I shook my head.

You are stupid, aren’t you?

“I don’t want to hear that from you!”

So, if Agnis is a better illusion user than you, how do you expect to catch him?

“I will catch you and use you as a hostage.”

And that will cause Agnis to blow up everything, Greg and I are immune to most of his nukes you know?

“Haha nice try, I won’t fall for that deception!”

You could certainly learn a lot from Agnis. I won’t have him bother with small fry like you. You might be a bad matchup for me in theory but you’re quite stupid and I know a way better illusionist so do your worst!

I got my [Dynamo Clouds] out. His eyes opened wide but I gave him no chance to react. I hit him with [Lightning Glitter] and a red [Supernova Blast].

I felt a familiar sensation of illusion layers shattering.

“Are you insane? You will blow up the whole village!”

My intuition tells me that, that’s not what you’re upset about. You’re upset because Greg and Agnis might notice at this rate, eh?

It seems my intuition was correct. He created various scary monsters to attack me. I know that they’re illusions but as long as they look realistic enough, they will be able to hurt me.

I realize that I know more about illusions than lightning magic. The moment I don’t believe these illusions can’t hurt me is when they can’t. These illusions don’t interfere with reality like the illusions of the 9t do.

I used [Raishin Kick] on the most intimidating illusion and ignored the rest. I didn’t believe that they could hurt me. They attacked be but did 0 damage.

[Chain Lightning] got rid of most of his monsters. I then teleported behind him.

“Nice try!” another illusion layer shattered and it felt as if we were falling above an ocean.

Nothing about this was scary or intimidating. My buddies and I have had scarier adventures. I used wind magic to close in on him and punched him in the face.

“I am a god you know!” Frank yelled.

So what?! You were talking about my mom, right? Do you know that she has killed gods before?

I kept punching him and caught him in a [Raishin Kick]. He made multiple illusion layers shatter but he was quite slow so I could teleport over to him and continue my [Raishin Kick]. Every hit I landed charged my [Dynamo Cloud] more.

I finished my [Raishin Kick]. And sent him flying.

He got beat up by just this. That bitch and even that Noobgod were way tougher than this.

I used a fully charged [Black Lightning Haze]. I heard a scream that disappeared shortly after.

I blinked and I was back in my room. It was still clean but there were no pants in the corner. Besides me breathing a bit heavy, there was no sign of my battle. I guess I joined Greg in having killed a god. I don’t feel as if it was an accomplishment though. He was very weak. Is that bitch underestimating us by sending small fry after us? I took another pants out of my wardrobe and slapped it several times.

I am going to [Black Lightning Haze] you if this is another illusion!

No answer so I used [Black Lightning Haze] on it.

I interrogated all of my pants and destroyed all of them because I got no answers.

Someone was at the door as I heard knocking.

Are you ready? Why aren’t you wearing any pants again? And why are you in your 6t mode?

My pants was a god all this time so I used [Black Lightning Haze] on it.

Greg sighed, closed his eyes and put his hand on his forehead.

Both you and Agnis make no sense... Just wear another pair of pants...

I interrogated them but they wouldn’t confess so I used it on them too.

Greg sighed again.

Right… Stay here, you can borrow some of my pants… Don’t blast those too.

Thanks!