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1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody)
Robert and Freddy's Day Off, part 2 of 2

Robert and Freddy's Day Off, part 2 of 2

Robert ducked into a side corridor and waited until nobody was looking at him. He entered the liminal void without Freddy and sat on a folding chair to read his new books. After he was done with them, he used all of his ether scrolls. Each of them dissolved, the runes etched on the scroll forming shells in his Ethercosm.

Telepathy was the most important one. He wanted to try and communicate with Freddy. The spell allowed silent, two-way communication between the caster and the target. On top of being nigh undetectable, it also skipped the clumsy parts of making the air vibrate in one's throat, slapping tongue and mouth flaps around to provide faster communication.

Mind Shield was self-explanatory. It protected from "mental" attacks from any affinity, not only Mental. It could block even hostile talents that affected the mind. It could be used on others but came with a steep price: all essence needed to be front-loaded. The shield would run until that essence ended. If used on self, it could tap into Robert's essence pool.

Confusion was attack magic. It could target a group of enemies to cause them to either do nothing or attack each other. Confused creatures who were attacked could retaliate, causing a huge mess among them if they attacked their allies. But the caster couldn't attack without breaking the effect on the target attacked. It was resisted but against weaker-willed enemies, confusion could be devastating.

Silent message was the courier cousin of telepathy. it was only one way but had great range. The limitation was that the message size needed to be very small. Range and message size could increase by paying more essence.

Comprehend languages allowed him to understand foreign languages with just a few minutes of exposure and learn them dozens of times faster.

Sense recording worked like those pre-rift machines that could capture image and sound, video-something if Robert's memory was any good. But for all senses, including those magical, such as his life sense spell or foresight. While active, it would create a recording of what happened. For the next twenty-four hours, Robert could review the recording, trying to grasp information he might've missed.

Accelerate Thought was Mental's version of haste. While the Time spell increased both thought and movement, this one only did the former. Thinking faster was always good, especially because Robert could use both spells. The combo gave him a considerable advantage in combat.

Enhance Senses was rather misleading. It didn't sharpen the senses but the efficiency in transporting the signals to the brain and then processing them. Your hearing was the same but you could perceive more of what you heard. Isolate different conversations, or better pinpoint enemies by sound. The same was true for all the other senses. Enhanced sight meant better enemy tracking, trajectory evaluation, and attention to detail. Since it didn't increase the amount of information gathered, only the processing, it didn't run the risk of causing sensory overload or synesthesia.

He needed to train with these spells and integrate them into his fighting style. That would come later. He still had three stops to do before the day was over.

*

*

"Mr. Blaze, we've expected you. My name is Justine, a pleasure to meet you. Please, this way," the jewelry saleswoman said with a bow right as Robert reached the entrance. It was the same shop he visited with Amanda to buy the storage ring currently in his left hand. She guided them to the restricted section. "Mr. Samson gave us instructions to let you pick a cubic meter ring. Is that the reason for your visit?"

"Yes, that's correct," Robert replied.

"Excellent," Justine walked to the fifth display case clockwise. "You may pick any design you want."

"The same as the one I'm wearing now is fine," Robert said as he avoided looking at the price tags.

"Rings this size need to be primed. We offer it in several proportions, from the regular cube to sixteen by a fourth by a fourth," she took a laminated sheet from underneath the display with several rectangular parallelepipeds. "All of them measure exactly one cubic meter but long objects won't fit some designs. A spear, for example, is incompatible with the regular cube."

"I see. I want this, two by one by a half meter."

"A very popular choice. Priming the ring only takes a couple minutes. Would you like some tea while you wait?" Justine offered.

"Sure. Two cups." Robert smiled back.

She waved her hand over a crystal plate and two steaming tea cups appeared. Robert took one and knelt.

"Do you want tea, Freddy?"

The hound sniffed the steam and nodded. Robert took Freddy's water bowl from his ring and poured the tea inside. Freddy licked the tea slowly as if sipping it. Robert stood up and took his cup, studying the saleswoman for any reaction to his eccentric decision to let his dog drink tea. He found none, gave up, and sipped. The green tea with jasmine notes was literally magical. Only the tea he drank while waiting to meet with Titania was better than this. But maybe that was because he was a dozen times more nervous then and the tea had more to work with.

"He is a splendid Taulusian hound, sir," Justine said as she watched Freddy drink his tea without spilling.

"Freddy and I just met yesterday but I agree with you," Robert replied, surprised.

"It gives me some hope, if I may say so. That there's good and beauty out there and not just rabid monsters trying to extinguish our species."

Robert noticed Freddy had stopped drinking and winced.

"Everything is fine, buddy," Robert crooned. "You are safe here with me."

"Your ring is done. Let me get it for you," Justine did a slight bow, then vanished behind a door.

She came back moments later, with a ring identical to the one Robert wore. He put it on his other hand. Should someone cut off his hand, he'd lose only one of the spatial rings. Robert injected essence into the new ring and watched the gigantic space. Thirty-five cubic feet of room to store whatever he wanted. Eight times the volume of his old ring, which he still had. It made his backpack of holding seem like a clumsy and cheap implement. Even though Chris and the others were saving for a long time to buy a lesser one.

Robert sighed. His notion of money and the value of things was completely skewed. It was all Amanda's fault. No, his. He allowed her to spoil him.

"Thank you, Justine. It fits perfectly. I couldn't be more happy about it."

"We appreciate your feedback, sir. Thank you."

Robert nodded and left the store with Freddy.

*

*

He was back to Diana's Gypsy-themed meeting room. The raven-haired apothecary entered the room and smiled. "Mr. Blaze, welcome."

"Madam Diana."

"The first batch of your tempering bath is ready. I only have enough for a fortnight. Some materials were harder to source than I expected."

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

He sighed in relief. "You didn't make everything?"

"No, but what…", her expression shifted to one of surprise. "You acquired another affinity?"

"Yes. Bound a unique spirit in a stroke of luck," he lied. It was forced on him.

"Which one?"

"Mental. Can I still use this bath you made?"

"You can, it changes nothing. The tempering for the Mental affinity is too dangerous at one star because it messes with the brain. Make a mistake and you go straight to Vegetableville. And the ones for stronger Archhumans involve psychotropic substances and cause minor brain damage. The danger is not inconsequential and most at two or three stars have already developed a healthy aversion to risk. That's why they stagnate, by the way."

"I will take it to heart," He dipped his head in respect. It was similar to the advice other strong people gave him.

She took a black wood box with a jade lid and silver corners. "Here are the bath powders, portioned by day. Use a single one each day, with at least twenty-four hours in between. It is okay to skip a day but don't compensate. You should bathe with full essence and your softer Life tempering technique active. You know one of those or a health assessment spell, right?"

"I have lavi flows and diagnose."

"Good. Heal yourself right after you sense any damage to your body. The other instructions are the same for every bath and are in a booklet behind the lid. Read it through."

"Of course. And any mistakes are on me, right."

"If you want, we can have an affiliated healer here to supervise your first bath. Void is a very destructive affinity."

"You tell me. I couldn't find a single scroll for it."

"It's intentional. Information about the Void affinity is controlled. You understand why."

It was not a question. "Absolutely."

"Mental is almost on the same level. Most people have little to no protection against it and the consequences of its misuse are catastrophic, albeit on a smaller scale."

"I am also well aware."

"But you might have someone to mentor you on that affinity."

"Mrs. Samson?" Robert guessed.

"I never mentioned her."

"Of course."

"Finally, we recommend a rune-inscribed rib for alchemical and tempering baths," Diana started her sales pitch. "It keeps the ether from leaking and is self-cleaning. The water is purified when you pour it out."

"Wait. Any water? Muddy water? Poisoned water?" Robert asked, already thinking about using the tub in survival conditions.

"It consumes the ether in the water and the charge in the inscriptions. But yes, I think so."

"Can the inscriptions fit something smaller, like a tankard?"

"There's enough water purifying solutions already. This one is intended for dangerous concoctions."

"Oh. I will take one to use with the baths."

"It costs fifteen hundred dollars."

Robert stored the box and the tub in his ring and left after thanking Diana and Stella.

*

*

Robert left the arcology and walked to the mall in the twenty-third district. He wanted to visit the park, enter the liminal void, and introduce Freddy to Mickey but that had to wait. He wasn't so sure the hound would be okay in the void and what would happen if they lost contact. He suspected that mortals and normal animals would die instantly.

His first stop at that mall was the bookstore. The same he visited when the Kraven disciple harassed him. There, he went wild. Robert spent a hundred thousand dollars on mundane books, ranging from fiction to technical manuals to history. He filled most of his new storage ring with these books. Did the arcology library have a copy of these books? He didn't care.

He bought some more clothes to fill the remaining space on his new ring and went to his true destination. Etherealheart Artificers.

He was expecting Stella but instead, a young man manned the shop. "Hello and welcome, can I help you?"

"I commissioned a contraption some time ago with Master Yolania. I got a message saying it was ready. Is she available?"

"Mr. Blaze?"

"Yes, that's me."

"This way, sir. The master told me to bring you immediately."

They crossed to the back of the shop. Rows upon rows of shelves with all sorts of gadgets and parts on them, sparse labels, and sheets of paper taped to them listing what was on the shelves. Despite the look of apparent chaos, not a single speck of dust could be found anywhere. This section had an evident and powerful space expansion effect on it.

The storeroom was the size of a football stadium. They took a few turns along the shelves and reached a door. In the next room, a series of cubicles, each with a set of shelves on each side and a workbench in the middle. These held several projects in different stages of development. A few were empty and as clean as a hospital operating room. The ground had no loose or lost parts, shavings, swarf, or any kind of debris.

Finally, they entered a majestic workshop. The room seemed circular at first but it was polyhedral with too many straight walls to count. Stations for specialized tools or crafts took each side. In the middle, workbenches and other fixtures such as an anvil next to the forge on the wall, or a loom.

The redhead artificer noticed them and approached. "Mr. Blaze, I am glad you could come."

"I wouldn't miss it for nothing."

"Your device is ready. Follow me."

They went to a display case where several artifacts were on display. Yolania never built a single copy of a contraption. Each of her creations was twins, one for the client, and one for her personal museum.

Robert knew which was his when he laid eyes on them. The twin timepieces lay side-by-side on the case.

Three concentric brass tubes curved into a perfect circle the width of a hand span formed the outer frame. In the middle, connected by a myriad of clockwork gears, rested an hourglass. On the diagonals from that big hourglass, you could find four other smaller hourglasses. Along each circular tube, beads like the ones used in an abacus rested on curved wires. Atop the big hourglass, a crystal watch displayed the current time.

The contraption always rested on the horizontal due to the spin of the three brass circles. They functioned as a gyroscope.

Sand ran down the hourglasses indefinitely. Whenever one of them filled the bottom, the machine turned it automatically and moved the corresponding bead. The minute hourglass turned whole Robert examined the device. In a sense, it was a clock made out of several other clocks, with redundancies and integrity checks.

But its real use became apparent when the crystal clock above the big hourglass stopped. The machine would then take note of the exact instant the clock stopped and calculate the interval of time since the last time it stopped. It is then mechanically multiplied by a programmable number. This was to hide the particularities of Robert's talent. It displayed the result in a set of beads. Then it initiated a countdown by moving that set of beads back to represent the time Robert had in the liminal void.

Due to spatial magic shenanigans, the device was flat. It looked tridimensional under casual inspection but one of its dimensions had been flattened. Only the exterior brass ring had any height. The rest of the hourglasses, beads, clock, and gears were content just existing inside the outer tube. Anything disturbing this mechanical shrine would find itself displaced to the other side.

The outer tube was actually coated in a tough alien metal that absorbed energy from one side and expelled it on the other. It wasn't economical to use on armor because it would just diffuse the force too little if compared to other materials but here, the kinetic energy would go through the metal to the other side of the ring and continue on, keeping the insides safe from impacts on the outer ring.

It was powered by essence but used very little of it. Charging the timepiece was trivial for any one-star Arch and a single charge could last for years.

"You didn't break the record for the most expensive clock but damn. You got close. Six million dollars for each unit." Yolania said with an appreciative whistle. "Do you fancy it?"

It was way more than what Robert paid.

"It's perfect!" Robert almost drooled on the display case.

"Anyway, I already have some buyers ready, and they will get theirs at the same time as you. Which is, right now. And… sent."

One of the twin units vanished from the display case and reappeared in Robert's hand. He didn't waste time placing it in his storage ring.

"And here is a chain to hang it from your neck. The timepiece is a bit too large for pockets," she said.

"Thanks. If I have any other ideas, I'll contact you."

"Good. Now, as one of our exclusive club clients, you get a catalog," Yolania handed him a hardcover tome. "It is paired and mirrored to the master catalog. Whenever I update it, you will know. The first page has the current sales, offers, and auctions. And the last few pages have requests for exotic materials and monster parts." She showed him the dynamic sections.

"Remember, material requests are first come, first served. I can update the price seconds before you enter my shop with the materials if someone else brings them first. If it's not perishable, I might still buy it from you to keep some in stock. Regardless, I buy stuff shown at the back of the catalog with a big markup. You can still sell items I won't buy at market value elsewhere."

Robert knew some of the materials from his studies at the library. Most of them were from realms too far and too lethal for one-stars to obtain. Not to be mistaken with Faralethal, which while still lethal, wasn't so far nowadays. Still, it was good to know that she was buying the pelt of an aether-flame liger for seven hundred dollars per intact square foot. How many square feet of pelt did a liger have?

"I am very thankful for your expertise, Yolania."

"And I am very grateful for a new item to my collection. It sold well." She grinned.

Translation: Robert's weird idea made her richer.

He said his goodbyes, thanked her again and left.

*

*

Before that, he wanted to test his new gadget. Accurate time tracking in the liminal void would be superb. Robert went to an empty mall restroom and fiddled with the timepiece settings. The time multiplier to ninety-nine and synchrony with his wristwatch. Once everything was perfect, he used his talent.

In the liminal void, the hourglasses kept turning and the gears moving. The time for the exit was… nonexistent. It didn't have the time of the previous visit set but it did record the exact moment he entered, with a precision of half a second. But it worked! It worked right as he wished it did. Yolania was the best artificer ever!

The only problem was that he had to stay in the restroom until his time ran out. Checking his ring, he saw plenty of books to read. He sat on the closed toilet and started with "Software Engineering," by Ian Sommerville, one hundred and fifty-eighth edition. A relic of times long gone. The devices this knowledge applied to ceased to exist two centuries ago.

What would he do if he finished reading all the books in the arcology's library? Probably read all the books in the academy's library.