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1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody)
B3 - Wednesday Tournament Special Broadcast! The Pay Per View sales went through the ROOF!

B3 - Wednesday Tournament Special Broadcast! The Pay Per View sales went through the ROOF!

Before the fights, right as the sun was rising in the east, Noah gathered his students in the gym.

"I just want to tell you this. If I believe you are at risk of death, I will throw the fight. Your lives are more important than some stupid prize from the Empress."

They both nodded. And they prepared for the fight with some light exercise and stretches. They needed to bring their A-game to the tournament.

*

*

Robert stood in the arena once more. His opponent followed a similar path to his, being the second-fastest winner in the tournament. A good night's sleep and no straining of his channels. He was feeling good as new. His life sense told that his adversary was undead. He had only one affinity, Unholy.

The horn buzzed. The shield came up. The referee shouted, "Begin!" It all happened at the same time.

A dark energy rose from the guy on the other side and flew at Robert almost instantly. The circle behind his enemy remained transparent. It was the guy's talent. Robert felt the strength leave his legs as he dropped to one knee. His vision became blurry and his mind... even his mind felt a bit off.

Robert stared at the guy, who was smugly approaching with a red sword in his hand.

"Yield now, and you get to live," the guy said. "Otherwise, we'll see how reinforced that armor's gorget is."

Robert stared at the guy. His symbiote was in skinsuit mode but it was working fast to devour the foreign essence that invaded his body. More black energy flew his way, flooding his channels. The effects intensified.

"You are a tough guy, I'll give you that." The Hex Master, as Robert dubbed him in his mind, said.

Robert used his primary talent. In the liminal void, he waited for the foreign essence to be fully purged. Robert waited until it was almost time to return and activated his buffs.

The hexes struck him the moment he returned. His overhead swing was parried by Hex Master. He felt the strength leave him. If not for his Haste spell and the Minotaur armor's assisted exoskeleton motion, he would be immobile.

Robert fought for his life as the blades clashed. He hit the guy with slow, sap stamina, and, for the first time, an external Void spell. Drain Essence made its official debut in the tournament, in its two-star version, making the circle behind him flash so black some people in the audience thought it was a passage opening.

Hex Master grunted. "Damn. That's some nasty curses. Thanks for teaching me these!"

He returned the drain essence spell on Robert. Now they both were losing essence to each other, the overall amount still decreasing because the spell wasn't a hundred percent efficient. Then the sap stamina and slow spell, which cancelled out the haste.

Fucking hell. Did this guy have the power to add more curses to his repertoire? Did Robert just create a monster? The blows from Hex Master started to chip and nick the Minotaur armor's plates. Soon, Hex Master would find a breach.

Robert once again used his primary talent to escape into the liminal void for a respite. Fortunately for him, the copies of his own spells expired as soon as the caster was in another dimension. There, he could barely purge the curses before he returned to reality. Hex Master recast the curses but a single droplet of blood ran down his nose.

"Damn, dude," he said as he wiped his nose. "Unholy Vigor!" Hex Master shouted. It was useless but it made for good television. The spell healed himself at the cost of a big chunk of vitality from Robert.

Pointing his sword at Robert, Hex Master said, "You die now! Necrotic blade!" The red sword became black.

Robert waited until Hex Master had almost reached him and used his primary talent again. This time, he reappeared on the other side of the arena.

"You can use your teleport talent as much as you want but you cannot run. This is your end."

Hex Master raced toward Robert. Robert spared a glance at Noah. The professor gave him a thumbs up. Laughing, Robert stood up slowly as he cranked his speakers to the maximum.

"You speak of death and stuff but do you really want to bet your own life for victory? I give you the same courtesy. Yield now and you shall live. Hell, I'll even let you keep the spells you stole from me."

"NONSENSE!" Hex master said as he ran toward Robert.

Robert raised a hand and pointed, aiming at the Hex Master's head. He licked his lips. Despite killing several of his opponents, none of the deaths was both premeditated and unnecessary. He could avoid killing the Unholy Arch by conceding the fight.

But why should he? This guy was dangerous. He shouldn't be allowed to live, just like Damien, the undead smuggler. "Zoltraak!" Robert yelled through the speakers. The circle on his side became black as a moonless midnight storm.

A beam of Void energy, one and a half feet thick split the arena, passing right through where Hex Master's head was. It hit the arena shield and made a big impact sound. It was the first time it did that. The shield went white as black veins appeared on its surface. The creeping sound of nails on a chalkboard combined with glass shards violently grinding against each other rang over the entire stadium.

Alarm Klaxons rang underneath the arena but the energy of the empowered void lance had already claimed its bounty of Ether and matter. The shield powered down with an electrical hum that started sharp and ended as an almost inaudible bass note.

Smoke and sparks rose from the control panel. Hex Master's headless corpse fell down, squirting copious amounts of blood as his undead heart kept beating. The crowd was silent. Robert remained upright only because of the armor's exoskeleton.

The curses expired. Robert spent a chunk of biomass to heal himself. He stood tall in his armor as he turned around to look at the referee.

The guy was busy trying to salvage the shield panel. Robert looked around. Hex Master's corpse was rising, despite being completely out of blood. He couldn't attack the zombie corpse because the shield was off. The tournament regulations stated that the contestants had to cease all aggression and ongoing hostile magic in this event.

Robert let the zombified body reach him and punch his armor. The unholy strength this zombie had was so powerful it knocked Robert backward with a loud clang. The suit's servos activated and braced the impact, as the gyro balanced Robert's body, keeping him from falling on his back.

The zombie wailed and slammed Robert dozens of times. The horn buzzed but not from the arena. It came from the principal's balcony.

"Disqualified!" The principal shouted through the stadium speakers.

Robert's portrait moved to the last spot it would ever occupy on the leaderboard as Hex Master's portrait was crossed out by a red X. Now it was a matter of knowing if it would move to the first or second spot in the tournament results.

*

*

The fights had to be delayed until the shield was repaired. It wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't that Robert's spell was too strong. It was strong but still within the performance predicted by Dinniman's fifth theorem.

Something was wrong with the shield. One hour later, they found the problem. It had been tampered with, to allow that unofficial manipulation that happened by divesting part of the shield. From there, a quick investigation revealed the brains behind that sabotage. Literally. A teacher had a talent to extract people's brains and interrogating them out of the body. Once the suspicious referee became as brainless as Hex Master, the others quickly turned themselves in.

Hours later, the shield was repaired and the fights could restart. Meaning that Amanda could have her fight because that day only had the two of them.

*

*

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

Wearing the female version of the Minotaur armor, which didn't have any allusions to cattle for obvious reasons, Amanda climbed onto the arena dreading what she had to face. Because her opponent was, drum roll, Phillip Shayver. Her would-be fiancé despite neither her nor her family agreeing to it. A total douchebag, scumbag, and any bag-related insult one could think of.

"To think we meet once more under the auspice of the Arena," Phillip said with a flourish and a bow. "I promise I won't draw a single drop of blood from your perfect complexion, my love."

Ugh. Amanda took back all the insults she threw at Robert for his dealings with women.

The horn buzzed. The shield came up. The backup referee shouted, "Begin!"

Phillip drew his rapier as he rushed forward. Then, his image broke down into a series of squares that became smaller and broke into even smaller squares. It all happened fast. But the circle above Phillip's side didn't light up or show a black X. Talent? It couldn't —

Amanda screamed as a blade cut through her Minotaur armor and her back, severing her spine. She glanced backward as she fell, seeing Phillip there.

"Oops. It seems I messed up," he said as he licked the bloody sword.

What the hell? Since when did Phillip have a teleportation talent? He didn't show it in any of his fights during the tournament. Amanda coughed blood on the faceplate. She couldn't feel her legs.

"Well, well. Yield now, or I'll have to cut your pretty neck off. I decided to break our engagement, Amanda. I can do better than you with the first-place prize."

Phillip was completely unhinged. It was obvious he was out for vengeance. But Amanda was bleeding. That attack cut through the best armor Samson's armorers ever made, her thousand wet hells, her stoneskin, and the granite bones tempering. Phillip had a Metal affinity but that cutting power was absurd.

The guy raised his sword. Amanda's heart beat the fastest it had ever done. She tried to speak but only coughed more blood.

"WE YIELD!" Noah shouted.

The horn buzzed. "Winner!" The backup referee shouted. The shield came down.

Phillip drove his sword straight at Amanda's neck, regardless. The crowd shouted with shock and surprise.

*

MDW: "CLIFFLHANGER PROTECTION ACTIVATED."

*

Robert's danger sense included his party members and allies. He'd be a crappy bodyguard if he couldn't do that. He watched in slow motion as Phillip made an illegal attack. Noah had already conceded the fight, the shield was down. His stars shone with bright light as he dilated his time with haste, breaking for the first time the 100% limit. Then he used his talent. Then he remembered that he needed to stay for twenty days before he could return.

It was torture. All that Robert could see was the tip of the sword already breaking through the armor's neck protection. He tried to work on his imprint but his mental state was not adequate.

Instead, he channeled all his rage to create a new Void spell. Purge Essence. It was simple. If the Void could devour essence, why not make it eat the foreign essence inside his body?

He did nothing but watch and seethe. This guy was toast. When he got the clarity of mind, he went to his intellect fortress and reviewed the proper statutes and rules. Once he was a hundred percent sure about the legality of what he was about to do, he smirked.

He returned to reality right next to the guy.

"SAMSON SECURITY, CEASE YOUR AGGRESSION!" Robert shouted as he acted. As he spoke "Samson", his hand was already flying toward Phillip. As he spoke "Security", a ball of black Void energy appeared in his hand, the size of a basketball. a two-star void punch. At "cease your", Phillip's torso was eradicated and disintegrated as the void punch expanded. The bone, skin, blood, and viscera at the edge of the expanded sphere were accelerated and propelled forward. When he said "Aggression", Phillip's bust (head and shoulders) was flying forward, flopping on the ground completely lifeless.

Robert removed the rapier and applied two two-star healing hands spells, one on Amanda's neck and another on her back. He burned essence like crazy until he heard a cough. He pressed the hidden emergency latch to detach the helmet and pulled it out.

"I'm okay!" Amanda whimpered.

No, she wasn't. Robert grabbed the hand holding the rapier and sent it to his storage ring. The hand and the rapier went but you couldn't put a loaded storage ring inside another. He took Phillip's ring before it could fall on the ground and used his talent. Not only it would buy them time but Amanda's situation wouldn't worsen in the liminal void.

In the liminal void, he examined Amanda carefully. He guided his essence to heal her, pulling flesh, bone, and her organs back together. Life healers shouldn't do this but with the consent of the subject, such manipulations were possible. He did his best to stop her internal bleeding and leave everything in a state where a proper healer could finish the job.

Amanda took a glowing red potion from her ring. "Non-combat health elixir," she said. "Supreme healing."

Robert didn't want to know how much each dose of that life-saving treasure cost. But Samson only gave their heiress the best.

She drank and waited. Through his diagnosis spell, Robert could see the elixir doing its job, bringing her to a state of perfect health. Even some minor wounds, lesions, and even a mole vanished, leaving perfectly healthy tissue behind.

"Help me out of this armor, please," Amanda requested.

The bent metal was biting her back. Once out of the armor, Amanda rested her head against Robert's chest and cried.

*

*

"How did he use that teleportation talent?" Amanda asked. "He didn't have that!"

"They will claim he absorbed a unique Prime Vestige."

"Preposterous."

"He's dead," Robert pointed at the head lying face-down on the arena floor next to them. "What does it matter?"

"Because he cheated! And if he cheated, he's disqualified and it's my win!" Amanda shouted, then became contrite, "Sorry."

"No worries. Scream in my ears as much as you want," Robert laughed. He slipped Phillip's ring on his finger and checked. "It's protected."

They waited until it was time to return. Just a week of light conversation.

*

*

Robert returned to reality with his danger sense burning a hole in the back of his head. He shoved Amanda off the platform and into Noah's arms. Then he cast blink, moving fifteen meters to the side and away from—

A massive fist of wood the size of a small cottage smashed on the arena floor where he stood. It even nicked Amanda's legs, breaking them. Whatever remained from Phillip was smashed into meat paste.

A bulky man with a bushy black beard and fiery red eyes jumped into the arena. Behind him, the massive wooden hand returned. Robert noticed a small vine connecting the two.

"You killed my son!" The man roared at Robert. The wooden hand came again, as fast as a dragster racer champion.

Robert had to use his primary talent to evade. As he appeared on the other side of the arena with nobody in a straight line between him and the bearded man, he immediately fired his most powerful offensive spell. The two-star void lance struck a transparent shield and just vanished. No reaction but the man screamed in pain.

The hand went up in the air. Robert fired a wide-angle Zoltraak lance at the hand, catching all of it in his beam and vaporizing the hand. The beam cleaved a cylinder of clouds in the distance and escaped into outer space.

Before the man could recover, Robert started to fire normal void lances at his head, aiming for the eyes. Each time, the shield would block the attack, dissipating it without any effect. Each time, the man would show signs of great distress as he howled and winced in pain. The fifth void lance went for his genitals. Once again, the spell had no effect but he felt the pain nonetheless.

"ENOUGH!" The man roared. The vine on his back grew the hand once again. It shot toward Robert. He countered by punching it with his two-star void punch. The hand exploded into a shower of high-velocity shrapnel. Then he tossed a drain essence at the man. The spell didn't take.

The pressure of a four-star Archhuman washed over the arena. The man had unleashed his full potential. The power was so big Robert was forced to his knees. He still Fired a Zoltraak beam with one inch in diameter, aimed right between the man's fuming eyes.

Phillip's father was knocked unconscious. Robert stood up and fired void spear after void spear, all aimed at spots where the pain would be maximal. Every single one of them was blocked by the shield.

He approached the unconscious man. Robert wailed on him with normal void punches, the best damage-to-essence ratio he had. The man started to bleed from the eyes, ear, and nose, a sign of talent fatigue.

"Enough, student Blaze." A voice laden with essence rang from behind him.

Robert was compelled to stop. Even though his mind palace and the bastions should protect him from mental influence, he still stopped.

He stood up and turned. He had recognized the voice. "Hello, Mr. Principal."

Their voices were being broadcast to the entire stadium. The crowded stadium.

"Why did you kill a fellow student?"

"Under Imperial statute six-seven-eight, paragraph two hundred and seven, bodyguards have the right to use lethal force when necessary to protect their wards. Academy norms, chapter twenty-nine, article seven, regarding military operatives on campus. It is allowed the use of force to stop a crime from occurring when lives are at risk. According to imperial statute, a sword strike to the neck of an incapacitated victim is attempted murder, first degree. Student Phillp Shayver stabbed Amanda with this blade, which I now turn as evidence."

He handed the rapier, still wet with Amanda's blood over to the principal.

"You are disqualified from the tournament for attacking a fellow contestant," the principal declared.

"Not so fast!" Robert said. "The moment I killed Phillip Shayver, he was no longer a contestant. Because he attacked Amanda with the shield down. He was disqualified before I killed him."

"We didn't declare him so. He isn't until the official statement."

"With all due respect, principal, it's only because the organizers of this tournament are too damn slow to act. According to the tournament regulations, I am filing an official complaint."

"But you are disqualified and no longer part of this tournament. You have no right to complain anymore."

"So be it. Phillip Shayver cheated during his fight."

"Do you have proof?"

"His storage ring contains an illegal drug. Made out of powdered Prime Vestiges and minerals, it can grant an Arch an extra talent temporarily. Here's the ring."

During his stay in the liminal void to evade the wooden hand, Robert cracked the ring's security. He cleared it of every item but the illegal ones. Forensic magic applied to the ring could tell that he didn't plant the illegal drugs in the ring. He also had made an imprint of the ring in his mind palace.

"How can you prove you didn't tamper with the ring? This is inadmissible."

"Very well. Let's interrogate a witness," Robert said and crouched next to Phillip's father. He punched the shield with a void punch four times. The shield talent, already stressed by all the damage it absorbed, broke.

"Mind blackout!" Robert shouted out loud. He was so pissed he didn't care about hiding his secrets. "Tell the truth to the principal. Did your son, Phillip Shayver, use illegal drugs to gain an advantage during his fight against Amanda Samson?"

"Yes," the bearded man said.

Two portals opened. in the middle of the Arena. From the first, Titania Samson walked out with Gerome behind her. From the other, a squad of Imperial knights in formal armor made their entrance, forming two rows and extending a red carpet.

The Empress walked on the carpet. Robert fell on his knees. The audience did the same, a wave of people showing their respects to the Empress of America, the only five-star Archhuman on the land.