Novels2Search
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody)
At least the Super Mario Sun didn't come down to wreck their day

At least the Super Mario Sun didn't come down to wreck their day

Fairy-Robert cast a touch-range spell on his puffblooms, transferring some of his stamina to the two mutated monsters. They became much more energetic. He ordered them to go down to pick up Freddy, sent a silent message to Noah informing him of the fact, and then fluttered into Amanda's hands to rest.

The next minute, he was fast asleep.

Amanda cradled the foot-tall fairy against her chest. "Damn, he's so kyu-tch!" She squealed in a whisper.

But levity apart, something was wrong with Robert. Why was he behaving like that? It shouldn't be an act. Was anything messing with his mind? Amanda needed to wait until Actus came back up to ask. In the meanwhile, she assumed she should do something and make the passage landing more amenable to people.

She compacted and merged the sand and gravel into solid rock, pushing the material outward to take advantage of the space saved instead of letting more stuff fall in. She shaped a ten by twenty room, eight feet tall with the passage against the far wall. She also added two big metal rings half buried in the stone as anchor points for the hooks.

A flaw in the setup Robert imagined was that the portals really had no width. Almost anything pressed against the side would slip either way but something wrapped around the portal and with nowhere to go would be cut.

The Puffblooms lift was the superior alternative.

The room was fully enclosed. Both light and ventilation came exclusively through the passage, meaning it smelled of brine, carrion, and iodine. And that everything was either shades of blue or pitch black. But after hours on the stone ship, she was used to it.

Amanda took a tea table and one chair out of her main storage ring. On the table, she placed a lampshade, giving the room a much-needed source of white light. She also took a pillow and a towel and placed Robert on a makeshift bed.

She watched the passage for the arrival of the puffblooms.

*

*

Convincing the two tame monsters to repeat their previous instructions and get Noah was relatively easy. When the teacher arrived, Amanda explained what was happening to Robert and her assumptions.

"... so, I believe this is because he spent too much time in fairy form," she finished.

"And I think you are correct", Actus said with concern. "Think. The Prime Vestige he took was meant for someone else and would make them a servile fairy. The Prime only changed so he could change back and forth. I'm afraid the mind-altering elements of the talent are still in place. Due to his mental tempering, he can resist the changes longer but this is an issue with shapeshifters of all kinds."

"What?" Amanda asked, having a hard time processing everything. "What is the matter with shapeshifters?"

"That if they do a full shift, changing even their brains, their minds slowly drift to become that of the creature they transformed into. Think. A puma's brain wasn't designed to do all the calculations, emotions, and complex reasoning of a human. So, a -- say, a druid, stairs as a puma for too long, they risk truly becoming a puma."

"Is there a way to avoid it?" She asked, totally worried.

"No, avoid is not the right word. Circumvent. Robert needs to either change his fairy body to think like a human or develop a tempering to strengthen his sense of self. Also, the more aware he is of the effect, the better he can resist it. I think we can work on some mental tempering to make sure he remains himself."

Amanda looked at the fairy, sleeping on a pillow that was on the table. She said nothing. Her heart ached too much.

"Once he wakes up," Noah continued. "Make him return to human form. I am exhausted and need some sleep. Can you watch the fort?"

"Sure, go for it."

It wasn't like she was well-rested and topped up on essence but she could endure a few more hours awake.

*

*

Robert woke up feeling a weight on him. A massive hand was pinning him down, sandwiched between a pillow and a towel. He had to wiggle his body to break free.

"Robert?"

"That's me. Can you let go?"

"Oh. Yes, but I need you to go back to being a human right now. I need your strength."

"Sure," Robert drawled. Let me take off these clothes first. They're too precious to destroy when I become a boring, bugged human."

He started to undress without a care in the world. Amanda took the towel and hung it in front of her face, blocking the view. She only heard some joint pops, like someone was cracking their knuckles.

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"Here, I'm transformed, what do you need me to lift... OH MY GOD, WHY AM I NAKED."

Amanda laughed, relief evident. She heard the ruffling of clothes.

"I'm decent now, you may drop the towel," Robert grumbled.

Amanda deftly folded the towel and set it next to the pillow." Did you sleep well?" She asked.

"Yeah but what happened. Where are we?" He looked around, still confused. "The desert realm?"

"Yes, that's where we are. What is the last thing you remember? Walk back from there, try to remember how your day went."

Concerned, Robert did as asked. Amanda watched as his expression became somber and somber, reaching shock and horror as he finished his retrospective.

"I did... I was... Damn!" He cursed and punched the rock wall. A full thud was all that came from it. "What was happening to me?"

"Sit down, have some iced tea," Amanda politely offered her chair. "Would you be interested in some pastries too?"

"Not right now, thank you," Robert tried to smile back but his mind was too worried. "Was my mind changing?"

Amanda conjured another chair of the same set.

"Had you experienced that before?" She asked as she leaned across the table to hold his hand.

"Yes, I did. But I never experienced anything like this," Robert confessed.

"How long did you stay in fairy form this time, without changing back?" Noah asked from behind Robert, startling him. "Including time in the liminal void?"

Robert flinched. "About five months."

"That would do it," Noah said gravely. "A single day wouldn't be enough. Not with the protections of the tower of iron will."

"I guess I should shift back to human while in the liminal void and only stay as a fairy if I really need to."

"Yes. And here is an exercise," Noah fell into his lecturer's voice. Try to create a version of yourself in your mental palace. An... Avatar. Yes. An avatar of yourself that is always human, mundane, and without powers.

"He lives in the bastions and has all your memories. Better yet, he writes about your experiences here in a journal. A detailed report of everything you felt, thought, and sensed. When you go to your mental palace, you become that avatar.

"And if your mind is damaged, the avatar has a backup copy of your psyche so you can rebuild yourself."

"Is that another tempering technique?"

"It will be if you make it," Noah smirked underneath that mask of his.

*

*

But they had no time to work on breaking new ground. They all wanted to go home and put the desert behind them.

The first step was to reach the surface. They left the grappling hooks behind so other travelers could use them. The stone boat was also left drifting in the ocean but its survival was unknown. If one of the giant monsters decided it looked like a pinata, that was it.

Amanda didn't waste time finding where the hole was. It was probably closer to the passage so she started to make an angled staircase leading out through the other side and up into the desert surface.

This realm only had three temperature settings. Ducking hot, scalding, and oh-my-god-I'm-melting. It was even hotter than the salamander pools and it had lava in it.

While Noah could conjure a blizzard, it was expensive, harmful, and very costly. His spells were as expensive as they were showy.

They set out to walk on the scalding sands, wearing heavy, bright clothes and trusting the enchantment in their uniforms to dull the edge of the heat. It became clear that they wouldn't make the trip with one of their numbers moving barefoot. Freddy's paws were resistant enough to move in that hellish environment but this place was on another level.

Robert could hold Freddy but that was not the optimal setup. After giving it some thought, he called on one of his puffblooms.

"Coal, could you shroud us with your Darkness?"

Coal wasn't capable of speech or coherent communication but the conveyed feelings were enough. He got in return the idea that they should stick together as close as possible. Coal spread out his essence and covered them. It was a sticky gooey substance that felt alive. Robert had to mentally direct where the essence should go, not over their eyes and ears but instead of leaving the openings, Coal projected tubes of sticky darkness to avoid indirect radiation.

The essence cost was steep. Coal would exhaust its one-star essence pool in less than three hours. Robert had to use the spell he created during his fairy frenzy (what he called the period where he was turning into a full-fledged fairy for staying too long) to supplement Coal with extra essence. That cut most of the heat because it could not penetrate the shadow coat. The darkness wrapped around Freddy's paws so he could walk over the desert sand normally.

He couldn't use his talent or Coal would lose targeting. It was an interesting find. His talent could break ongoing effects, whether they were harmful or beneficial.

They had no patience for monsters. The realm's biggest challenge was the heat, the wind, and the shifting sands. Climbing up a dune was hell as the sand slid off their feet. Climbing down a dune was hell because they inevitably lost their footing and slid down until the bottom. Often getting out of range of Coal's darkness coating and cooking in the desert heat. Another thing the heat made impossible was to drink water. The temperatures were close to boiling and water would heat up almost instantly. At least they didn't remain sweaty for too long but it also added the threat of severe dehydration.

A Fire arch would be at home. Almost all the Ether in the realm was Fire-aspected, which greatly slowed down their essence recovery. Whatever Ether wasn't Fire was Wind. Which was good for Freddy and the puffblooms. And that was still a kickass band name.

The wind tossed sand everywhere. That's the reason the dunes existed. And it also ground the sand to a ridiculous smoothness. Almost all the sand grains were polished to perfect smoothness and a shape resembling grains of rice. The wind also got the sand through Cotton's coating and into their clothes.

Monsters who appeared on Robert's life sense got their essence drained on the spot, using the two-star version. It was more expensive and gave smaller returns, being barely profitable, but it sucked a monster out of its Ether like a twenty-foot-tall mosquito would suck a man's blood.

Orientation was impossible. The realm had no landmarks as the dunes moved all the time. The heat and the light came from all places at once and people didn't project shadows. The way they oriented themselves was through buried stone plinths, hidden so deep in the sand they wouldn't suffer erosion and without any magic so they were uninteresting for monsters. But to sense them, it required an Earth-affinity Arch. It was that or someone with a navigation talent, which none of them had.

The trek took a week. But this time, the passage to the next realm was unobstructed though it was buried under seventy feet of sand. Amanda used her essence and reshaped the sand into a stair and tunnel. Though it would fill with sand again as time passed.

They stepped through, glad they could leave that scorching realm behind.