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1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody)
B3 - Gymnasium means, loosely translated, "Where we Exercise Naked" in Greek

B3 - Gymnasium means, loosely translated, "Where we Exercise Naked" in Greek

Robert was at the end of his massive (for a two-star) essence pool. With the last dregs, he maintained mind blackout even though he was kneeling before the empress, and rudely wiped out Mr. Shayver's psyche, leaving him in a state worse than the Holy Light guy. Then he released his hold over the man's mind. He was tapped out. Short of using his talent and becoming a renegade in the interspace, he was at the mercy of the Empress. He could only hope she would hear his case and be merciful.

"Greetings to all present," the Empress declared, her voice delicate and soothing like a tender piano melody.

She looked young, in her mid-to-late twenties. The exact age of the Empress was taboo and still the source of much speculation. At this point, it mattered little. The Empress was immortal and almost impossible to kill. Should everyone present attack her at once, it would only mean she'd have fewer subjects to rule over.

Nobody replied to her greetings. One did not speak before the Empress without being spoken to first.

"The events of this day displease me," she proclaimed. "In a tournament graced by my blessings, such breaches of protocol are intolerable."

She fixed her gaze upon the second-most important person in attendance. "Headmaster, elucidate what has transpired this day."

The headmaster stood.

"Certainly, your Imperial Majesty. Student Shayver displayed a talent we were not aware of. He forced Professor Actus to yield the fight, removing student Samson from the certamen. He displayed aggressive behavior incompatible with proper decorum or his previous demeanor. He was about to behead student Samson when student Blaze teleported and killed student Shayver, in a blatant attempt to tamper with the tournament results. Mr. Shayver attacked student Blaze in an attempt to avenge his son. Student Blaze fought and somehow defeated Mr. Shayver, displaying a troublesome affinity."

"I see," the Empress said. "Is that all?"

"Certainly not, Your Imperial Majesty. But I loathe to bore you with the little details."

"Fair enough. You may rest until such a time as your counsel is required."

The headmaster bowed and went back to kneeling.

"Student Blaze," The empress summoned. "Is there anything you wish to add to the headmaster's testimony?"

Robert stood and took a respectful position, with his hands clasped behind his back. "I have, your Imperial Highness."

"You may speak freely," the empress gestured.

"Phillip Shayver asserted many times, in public, that he intended to court Amanda Samson. The first hint we had that he was not being himself was the fact he acted with such cruelty and callousness toward Ms. Samson. The second was the unexpected talent. We conjectured that he was either using illegal drugs or had somehow absorbed a unique Prime Vestige. Occam's razor had us lean toward the former. When he harmed Amanda even after the fight was over, I acted according to Imperial statutes, Academy norms, and Samson Security guidelines. Unfortunately, the union of all three sets of rules demanded immediate and drastic action, to fulfill my duties and protect Ms. Samson's life. The aggressor did not respond to our calls for peace and was dealt with.

"When I seized control of Phillip's storage ring, I found several of these illegal drugs in the ring, further corroborating our assumptions that he had violated the tournament bylaws. I was attacked by Mr. Shayver and had to defend myself accordingly. Since Mr. Shayver was no threat to anybody but me, I refrained from delivering any mortal wound to him. After defeating Mr. Shayver, the headmaster interrogated me. I presented to him all the evidence and my rationale. The headmaster then proceeded to unfairly disqualify me from the tournament.

"I used one of my spells to compel Mr. Shayver to give testimony before the headmaster. Furthermore, the tournament had several incidents where one might question the fairness of the certamen, as the Headmaster called it. Referees refusing to call the fights even when one of the contestants was incapacitated or mortally wounded, tampering with the shield generators, and so on."

When Robert paused to breathe and collect his thoughts, the Empress raised a hand. "That is all we need. You may rest."

Robert knelt. On his way down, he met Titania's eyes. The old woman smiled at him briefly.

"Headmaster, produce Phillip Shayver's storage ring," the Empress ordered.

The headmaster raised a hand with the ring on his palm. One of the Imperial knights took it and placed it in a dried hand hanging from a chain.

"Your Majesty, the ring contains illegal drugs. The drugs were placed inside the ring more than six hours ago."

"Then what Student Blaze said was correct," the Empress said. "Headmaster, why were you so eager to disqualify a contestant who did nothing wrong?"

The headmaster cleared his throat. "Your Imperial Majesty, he assaulted a contestant that would be his opponent tomorrow. It was a clear—"

"Enough!" The Empress said with a pressure that forced everyone present to hold their breaths. "Tell me, headmaster, do you believe that student Blaze would lose to Phillip Shayver if they fought tomorrow? In a fair fight? Answer me."

The headmaster ground his teeth. The Empress became livid. Her wrath was like an impassible glacier inbound to destroy all who stood in her path. Majestic, cold, and inexorable.

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"If I have student Blaze recover his essence and pit the both of you in this arena in a battle to the death, do you believe you will survive? To a two-star?"

"I do," the headmaster lied. At this junction, he was damned either way. At least this way, he had a chance of surviving by defeating Robert.

"So be it. Clear the arena. We have one more fight today. And it shall be with Gymnasium rules."

Robert glanced at Noah. The professor discreetly gave him a thumbs up.

*

*

With his essence fully recovered after a visit to the gathering chambers, Robert stood in the arena one more time. He had four Imperial Knights escorting him to make sure he wouldn't try to escape or that someone wouldn't assassinate him. But this wasn't a fight. It was an execution. The headmaster wasn't a combat Arch, though he was a three-star.

Gymnasium rules referred to the ancient Greek meaning of the word. Naked exercise. Not entirely naked. They were allowed to wear one piece of underwear. Robert wasn't allowed to wear his symbiote skinsuit. Both men were in cotton loincloths and nothing else. No storage rings, and no items in Robert's spatial storage. No weapons. Only their bodies and souls.

As any three-star Arch worth their Ether, the headmaster wasn't a mountain of muscle but he was strong and healthy. They both were at or near the peak of their physiques.

Robert activated his buffs, all with the full power of his two stars.

The shield came up. The horn buzzed. "Begin!" An Imperial Knight acting as referee shouted.

Robert vanished. He reappeared next to the headmaster, grabbed his loincloth, and dove into the liminal void again.

"Release me!" He screamed and a wave of energy burst out from him. The wavefront seemed like a membrane or a headmaster-shaped deformed soap bubble. Robert felt danger and released the man with a shove, using his secondary talent to fly as he moved away from the bubble. The vision he had was that the body parts that touched that bubble vanished. For good. But the wave vanished after a couple of meters.

A lot of Time wisps flew toward Robert but not the amount he expected. It was more in line with what he got from, say, Gerome when Titania had her butler attempt to murder Robert.

Space essence flooded out of the headmaster as he lost all color and became still.

Robert watched as the man became part of reality again. Robert waited and formulated a plan. When he returned to reality, he immediately grabbed the headmaster with both hands. This time, he dragged the man straight to the true void.

"Unhand me!" The headmaster protested as he released the shockwave again, catching both of Robert's hands. They disintegrated void veins and all. Robert obliged, shifting to his fairy form to put some distance between them. His hands didn't grow back.

Space essence wrapped the headmaster but this time he was too far from reality to move. The Void took the essence from him and gave nothing in return. Such was the Void's hunger, insatiable. Next, it devoured the headmaster.

Time wisps burst out from him. Robert collected these. His body crumbled into flakes and bits that quickly vanished too. All that was left was a brown and polished steel mote of ether that was dragged into Robert's soul. It was the second time that happened. Robert had no idea what it meant.

When his short visit time was up, he reappeared right where he left. Robert turned to face the Empress in the tall balcony, and knelt, trying to hide his arms stumps.

The Empress stood. The next moment, she was right in front of him He didn't raise his head.

"Did you defeat the headmaster?" She asked.

"Nothing remains of him in this world or the next," Robert replied.

"Good," she said before vanishing again.

*

*

Robert was allowed to retrieve his items and put on his clothes (sans armor). He then was led to a private meeting room deep underneath the stadium. There, he met Titania, Amanda, Noah, The Beast Symbiosis girl he had defeated, and her combat teacher. He took a seat next to Noah. Two Imperial Knights flanked the door on the opposite wall from where he entered.

"All rise for the Empress," One of the knights shouted. "Kneel!"

Everybody stood from their seats took a step to circle the chair and then kneeled behind it.

The Empress entered, regal as always. She took the seat next to the door at the head of the table. "You may rise and be seated," she commanded.

Everybody obeyed.

"Robert Blaze. I know you intended to use one of the tournament rules to concede the final fight to Amanda Samson. You shall do no such thing. I will also not make friends fight each other and keep the spirit of said rule. The final fight will not happen and we will use the tiebreaker stated in the rules. Does anyone disagree with this? Speak now."

Nobody said anything.

"So be it. The tournament outcome is thus determined. Robert Blaze, Amanda Samson, and Caroline Winters shall be recognized as the winning trio, in sequence. The rankings for the remaining positions shall be computed in accordance with the regulations."

Some of the people present who were more comfortable in the presence of absolute power nodded.

"Now, it is custom to request your prizes before me at the award ceremony but one might understand why we ask this beforehand. What prizes do your hearts seek?"

Each of the three winners said what they wanted.

The Empress stood and left. After the door closed behind her, a knight thumped the ground. "You are all dismissed."

*

*

They remained in the room after the Knights left. Caroline, AKA Symbiotic Bond, had her head in the clouds. Though her reward wasn't something fantastical and could be obtained with enough money, it was still what she desired. The giddy girl had a grin posted on her face. Caroline's teacher stood up.

"Let's go, then. I hope we can put past grievances behind us," He said then addressed Robert. "Ms. Winters no longer blames you for Leo's death."

"It would be nicer if I could hear that from her," Robert challenged the teacher with a glare. He believed that while Caroline handled her stable of monsters, this teacher and whatever organization was backing Caroline handled her and probably others as a stable of monsters. And not as people.

Professor Actus stood up. His blue-painted eye faced Caroline. "Ms. Winters, I happen to have an open spot in my class. My style of teaching is open and involves field trips to dozens of passages with very interesting creatures. Would you consider shifting professors?"

Amanda froze and craned her neck to stare at Noah. Robert was also caught by surprise but his reaction was one of amusement. Caroline's handler – I mean, teacher – was less than enthused by the proposal.

"Professor Actus, that's preposterous!" He protested. "Are you blatantly poaching my student?"

"You can keep the tournament ranking, that's not an issue. But yes. I am blatantly poaching Ms. Winters because I believe this is the best for her and her special talent. Think about this, Ms. Winters. Monsters of all sorts. And instead of delivering them to you, you get to go and visit them in their natural habitat."

"Caroline!" The teacher protested as the girl slammed the table with both hands and stood up.

"I want one of Robert's minotaurs!"

Noah laughed. "That's a deal. We will go there and get you a Minotaur, tomorrow."

Caroline stared at her (former) teacher and blew a raspberry.

"This doesn't end here, Actus!" The teacher stormed off.

Robert believed that if they weren't in the presence of Titania Samson, four-star coffin-dodger, spells would fly to and fro.

Caroline stood up and changed seats to stay next to Robert, soaking in that sexy protagonist's aura. Amanda fumed. In the heads of several readers, harem alarms rang like a pounding headache. But Robert would rather visit Chtulhu in the Deep Void than get entangled in a slice-of-life harem rom-com. That's how true warriors stagnated and the cheap jokes clung to the story like mold to stale cheese.