Novels2Search
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody)
It's an All you Can Ether Buffet

It's an All you Can Ether Buffet

"Here's what we'll do," Noah said. "Robert, you come with me and we'll try to pacify the vestiges in the Netherecho. You'll stay behind me and use your construct to stop any vestiges I can't handle. I'll call them out. Amanda, you stay out here with Freddy. You are still low on Essence, right?"

Amanda nodded, even though she was clearly not happy at being left behind. She looked at Robert. "Stay safe, okay?"

"Hey, what about me?" Noah asked in jest.

"You're a three-star. If a bunch of rowdy vestiges can harm you, then I weep for the quality of the Academy staff."

"Wow," Noah put his hand over his heart. "You know how to break someone's spirit."

"Pot, meet kettle," Amanda grumbled.

Noah knocked on the metal frame. "Robert spent all the time since you were struck down by the curse doing this for you. I know you are upset but..."

She looked down. Only after a while did what Noah said hit her. Amanda stared at Robert. "You made a gathering array in a day and a half??"

Robert smiled. "No. It was more like five months on my side. And it's not a gathering array, it's a vestige poison jar."

"Which might be more valuable than a gathering array if it can really make vestiges stronger."

Robert looked at the metal cube, then back at her. "It's for sale if you want." He teased.

"You said you made it for me!" Amanda protested.

'Not as a gift', Robert thought. But saying it out loud was risky territory. He racked his brain for a way out. "Your peculiar condition inspired me to make this, yes. And I believe it might even help us along the way. In any case, it's defective."

"Incomplete, if the intent is to use as a gathering chamber," Noah intervened. "Let's get this mess cleared up and then we can see what we can do to improve it.

Noah and Robert entered the gathering chamber and sat on the pillows. They closed their eyes and appeared in the Netherecho as their cartoon projections.

*

*

It was utter chaos. Cartoon creatures of all shapes and forms fought in a grand brawl, being launched in the air, bouncing off the Ether wards, and getting back into the fight. The wisp density was good, what they expected of a gathering chamber charging up or a place away from Archhuman agglomerations.

"Do you have any shell ready to upgrade?" Noah asked.

"Only lavi flows and silent message. Others are close but not quite there."

"See anything you think can work with these two abilities?"

Robert looked at the mass of vestiges having at each other. He needed to look for a while to see their concepts but it wasn't too hard. He couldn't choose between them. Most concepts wouldn't be compatible with his abilities and the concept determined the ability's evolution.

"There!" Robert pointed at a muscular man who seemed to be dominating its particular brawl. "Improvement."

"Nice choice," Noah said. "Get ready with the shell, I'm going to lasso it."

Noah pulled on his pipe and then exhaled a stream of smoke, ashes, and embers. He waved his arm and sent the ashes in the shape of a lasso toward the Improvement vestige.

The Vestige protested and struggled, "Hey, what do you think you're doo—"

Pulling on the ash lasso, Noah yanked the vestige toward them. "Use your construct to stop it, then capture it with your shell!"

"Okay!" Robert waited until the muscle man landed near them, then pointed at it with his armillary sphere. "Freeze!" The rings rotated and then the clockwork mechanism stopped. The vestige stopped thrashing around. From the depths of Robert's soul, the shell for lavi flows shot out, the sphere of runic bands opening in two halves to chomp down on the vestige, trapping it inside and retreating back into his soul as fast as it came.

Robert's tempering technique gained the concept of improvement. He immediately understood what it meant. Lavi flows now not only cycled lifeforce and Life essence around his body, but it would also grant him the benefit of a good gym workout session, allowing him to improve his body at the same time it soothed minor aches and helped his body regenerate minutely.

Now he needed to find a vestige for his silent message spell. Communication seemed like a good concept but he didn't see any vestige that represented that. He scanned the chamber until his eyes landed on a vestige that wasn't fighting. It was a cartoon heart with arms and legs, crouching in a corner, covering itself with the cartoon arms and white gloves. It held the concept of sensitivity. How would it affect his silent message spell?

While he pondered, Noah's pipe roared with a great tongue of flames, which he shot around like a fire hose, scorching the vestiges that came to attack him.

Sensitivity would improve the silent message by adding emotions to the messages. He could convey his feelings through the spell if he so wanted. Not really what he wanted.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

He looked around and then up. He found one vestige which was nothing more than a golden shoe with eyes and wings, keeping away from the fight. Distance. It would increase the range of his silent message. Perfect.

"Above us, near the northwestern corner. Distance!" Robert said.

"Got it," Noah said and sent his ash lasso there. Distance noticed it and dashed away.

"STOP!" Robert used his construct.

The lasso connected. Noah pulled. Robert sent the shell to intercept the vestige and capture it. Moments later, it was secured. Silent message's range improved by more than fifty percent. The bonus would only increase as he developed the spell into the second stage.

"All done?" Noah asked.

"Sure."

Professor Actus pulled on his pipe, then breathed fire upon the whole room. Only the corner where Robert stood, behind him, was spared. The flames quickly reached the walls of the gathering chamber and reflected back, incinerating all the vestiges. The essence they released lingered in the air, forming a multitude of wisps that flew around and bounced around the walls.

"We are done. Bring Amanda in here," Noah said as his projection vanished.

Robert saw the teacher stand up and walk away. He too left the Netherecho and walked out of the chamber.

*

*

Amanda sat on a cushion inside the gathering chamber. Eyes closed, body relaxed, she seemed to be in deep meditation. In fact, she was projecting into the Netherecho, gathering the wisps by hand.

Robert sat on another cushion on the street. Freddy was lying on his lap as he cycled the improved lavi flows and felt his muscles tingle and twitch as the tempering technique worked them out. The upside of this was that he wouldn't be sore the next day. Lavi flows also healed the strain of the workout. The essence cost of the tempering increased by a little but it was of no consequence. Now he didn't even need to keep weights and barbels in his ring as the technique provided the best exercise for each muscle group and even stretched it.

His body felt relaxed and calm as if he had just enjoyed a spa day combined with an intense gym session. And this would only improve as the tempering technique advanced into the second stage.

His tempering was interrupted when Amanda walked out of the chamber. Robert opened his eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

She stretched her arms. "Like new. Damn, I had no idea how starved I was for essence."

"What about the curse?"

"Gone. There's enough vegetation around the city to let druidic attunement boost my recovery. Some vestiges got inside while I was gathering. They didn't start a fight or bothered me but I got to catch a vestige for my plant growth spell."

"Cool," Robert replied curtly.

"Aren't you going to ask what is its concept?" She goaded.

"Isn't this private information?"

"Not if I want to share it with you," She fidgeted.

"Okay, shoot me."

"Evolution!" Amanda gushed. "The plants I grow have a chance of adapting to the situation! And best of all, the changes remain with the seeds I harvest from them!"

That's amazing, Amanda!" Robert said with genuine excitement.

Amanda giggled. She was shamelessly fishing for praise and got exactly what she wanted.

*

*

Minutes after they heard the sound of the ball dropping on the anvil again, Noah returned from the workshop. "I packed everything we will need going ahead from the workshop. Robert, it's time."

"Time for what?" Amanda wondered.

Robert got a wooden box he built with the blocks he used to carve and practice the gathering runes. He had used machine oil to stain the wood and bring out both the grain and the engraved runes, then sealed the wood with varnish. It didn't look professional but it was nice and it was evident that the box was handmade with care.

"Oh? For me?" Amanda's excitement was ramping up so fast that she forgot about the item Noah crafted with her blood. "What is it?"

Amanda took the box and opened it in a hurry. Inside, she found a silvery pendant in the shape of the lightning octopus, hanging from a chain engraved with dozens of tiny runes on each link. It gleamed with a silverish-blue aura. Everyone could sense the item's power and its cursed aura.

"Wow. Wow. Is this…" Her brain speech center was short-circuited. Tears formed

"A trophy from a vanquished enemy," Noah completed. "The lingering grudges, waiting to try and enact revenge from beyond the grave."

Robert stared at the showoff teacher. Couldn't Noah be less dramatic? He noticed that Amanda was about to reach for the pendant and warned her.

"It's a cursed item."

Amanda sniffled. "Who cares, I love it!" Then she immediately put the chain around her neck, letting the pendant hang on her chest.

Then a sound of electrical discharge rang. Amanda screamed and jumped four feet in the air. Sparks ran through the chain.

Robert shot to his feet, shouting to Noah, "What the hell?" He took a step to support Amanda. "What is this thing?"

"A tempering amulet," Noah replied. "It lowers Amanda's resistance to lightning but tempers her body with a tier one Lightning tempering. With time, she will become almost impervious to the affinity."

"I'm fine, Robert," Amanda said as she tapped his arm. It's not that painful."

Robert had the impression Noah hadn't said everything about the amulet.

"It is okay," Amanda repeated. "A foreign affinity tempering is priceless. Use your spell if you don't believe me."

Robert didn't cast the diagnosis spell on Amanda. Instead, he challenged Noah again. "Is this all this amulet does?"

Noah shrugged. "It will grow with her. Who knows what new abilities it will develop?"

"Is it u-unique?" Amanda stammered.

"Yes. Of course, it is," Noah deadpanned. "It is also bound to you by the blood we used to craft it. You can't sell it."

Amanda seemed offended by the suggestion. She cradled the pendant.

"Eek!"

And it shocked her again.

*

*

Everyone got to use the gathering chamber to top their essence before Robert disassembled it and stored the parts. At least the essence drain spell crystal worked as intended.

Noah had forged an item that kept vestiges from crossing the chamber's frame. He also warned that this gathering chamber isolation ward would only keep wisps out until the pressure inside reached a limit.

It was one of two issues with his DIY gathering chamber Robert learned about as they left the ghost city behind. The other was that it couldn't be adjusted to focus on a single affinity. That, added to the other limitations, placed the value of the contraption Robert crafted way below the commercial gathering chambers.

But it was better than nothing.

*

*

They flew to other islands, doing another five jumps before reaching the passage to the next realm. Robert didn't use a glider. He instead crossed the distance by diving into the near void.

But finally, after a month in the Puffbloom Islands, it was time to say goodbye.

"Can't we keep them?" Amanda pleaded, trying to change Robert's mind."

"Their place is here," Robert said. "Puffblooms are quite delicate and the next realms won't be so friendly to them. And I won't keep them in cages."

"It's for the best, actually," Noah chimed, breaking his silence. The teacher didn't want to influence the decision before it was made.

Robert focused on their bond and broke it. He flinched from the whiplash. Confused, Cotton and Coal floated around before an imaginary breeze seemed to push them away.

Freddy howled melancholically. Robert knelt and hugged the Taulusian.

"They made their choice," he whined.

"Yes. They are home," Robert whispered. He wondered if Freddy too would choose to stay if they went to visit Taulusia.

Without looking back, the expedition crossed the passage.

And the amulet zapped Amanda as a parting gift from the Puffbloom Islands.