Novels2Search
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody)
B3 - Tournament, Day 2, Afternoon / Evening

B3 - Tournament, Day 2, Afternoon / Evening

Amanda's next opponent was a real bother. And she knew it, the bitch. Amanda stared at the second-year girl, smirking and snickering at her. Even before the fight started, the whore was already engaging in psychological combat. Yes, a whore. That girl was called the pink-ribbon queen, behind her back, obviously. She had the current record for most pink ribbons earned coming out of the male dorm.

She had no plant vases next to her. This time, she was going to rely on her other abilities to win.

"Begin!" The referee shouted.

Amanda rushed forward, sword in hand. As she moved, earth moved from the floor to cover her body.

The circle behind her flashed brown. Then the circle behind the bitch flashed bright red.

A deluge of high-temperature blue flames came at her. With an flex of her will, a wedged wall of stone rose from the ground, blocking and redirecting the flames. She started to lose control of the stone as it started to melt and become magma.

The circle behind Amanda remained brown.

Amanda pushed her essence into the ground and then caused the stone floor to erupt into jagged shards. The stone struck against the bitch's legs, only scratching her skin as the stone edge softened and melted.

"You are an idiot for sending an Earth attack against the Magma princess, oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!" The bitch mocked Amanda.

It was true, though. The stupid cunt had both the Fire and Magma affinities. And her talent was well-known. She dubbed it "Two Thousand Kelvin" skin. Probably as a homage to the number of men by that name she slept with. Her skin could get so hot it could melt ordinary steel. It could also cause flammable materials to spontaneously combust.

Just to prove her point, pink-ribbon queen's uniform caught on fire and she erupted in flames. Amanda retreated to her corner. When the flames extinguished, she was clad in a runic leather leotard. It was the armor every contestant wore but slightly different. It didn't cover the shoulders. Instead, two reinforced leather cups held her blobs of fat aloft, like a wobbly and flaccid offering to some lascivious and decadent Chaos God from the grim darkness of the far future.

Amanda bet the bitch had back aches every night.

"You're sweating, dear," pink ribbon said as she sauntered forward. "Is it the heat, or just cowardice?"

Who did she thing she was? Some world three final boss in an adventure game? Was she going to transform mid-fight?

She moved her arm in a wide circle, droplets of liquid fire dripping from her fingers. Wherever these droplets landed, they erupted into jets of flame that reached the shield and made it opaque for a moment. The circle behind the bitch was dyed russet, the color of the Magma affinity.

The stone floor was slowly liquefying, glowing bright red.

"Where will you stand, my dear Amanda? Soon, this whole arena shall be my domain, ah ha ha ha ha ha!" The bitch cackled, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.

The whole arena was starting to heat up beyond what was safe for a mortal human. Amanda had her back to the wall, sweating.

Behind pink-ribbon, the circle blinked as it alternated between red and russet. Amanda could tell she was pouring out a ton of essence into the arena, turning it into her domain.

Her sight was impaired as the haze of the rising hot air blurred her sight. At least the bitch was happy toying with Amanda and didn't go for the kill. Honestly, with how hot her skin could get, all she had to do to win was to gently tap Amanda's temple.

That hubris would be her doom, Amanda vowed. Inside her head, she was running some calculations using Dinniman's theorems, trying to figure out how much essence pink-ribbon had already used. She never had been so glad for learning how to solve math – of all things – to win a fight. She estimated pink ribbon had used around sixty to seventy-five percent of her essence capacity.

"Do you want to know my talent's evolution?" The dumb bitch asked.

What kind of question was that? Who, in their sane mind, offered to tell an enemy about one's talent?"

"My body can absorb heat and heal itself. I am like a Phoenix, now! Uh hu hu hu hu hu hu hu!" She laughed with a gruff voice.

Amanda struggled to stand upright. Huddled in her corner, she seemed weak and pitiful.

"But I will refrain from being boorish and subjecting your weak self to such torture, my dear. It is obvious you can't withstand my grill power!"

Amanda cringed at the heinous pun.

"So, is this summer heatwave the best you can do?" Amanda asked. "Or do you need to bed another thousand Kelvins to upgrade your talent to something useful?"

"You little cunt. Why can't you just shut your dick-eating trap!" Pink-ribbon retorted. The circle behind her flared bright red, so strong it painted the whole arena and surroundings in its color.

Flames poured in waves from underneath the bitch. Amanda felt her skin itch and swell. She was most likely already with second degree burns all over her body.

Eighty to ninety percent Essence use, Amanda calculated. And that was assuming she was at two stars ninety-nine percent or even holding back her evolution. Even with some essence cost rebates, the bitch was almost out of essence.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

It was time.

Amanda took a humongous helmet with thick silvery fabric flaps surrounding it out of her storage ring and shoved it over her head. A pressurized gas container fired and the helmet's flexible outer layers unfolded, dropping over her body and sealing themselves. Within twenty seconds, Amanda jumped to let the suit's soles cover her shoes and seal itself. She hissed as the cool air inflated her Samson™ level SSS+ hazmat environmental suit.

"What is that? Fashion Terrorism?" Pink-ribbon said in horror.

Amanda ignited her two stars and cast create water. A cubic meter of liquid materialized over the pink-ribbon bitch, falling down and sublimating – wait, that's for solids – as it went into contact with the bitch's heated skin. Then Amanda repeated her last spell, one, two, six times. Create water was cheap. Eight, nine, ten times.

The water vapor quickly ate a ton of the heat but there were entire kilowatt-days of heat to be absorbed. Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen casts of create water. Amanda couldn't see a thing through her suit's visor. It was the world's hottest sauna. Twenty, twenty-three, twenty-five casts of create water. Amanda was out of essence.

Amanda was glad she improved some abilities to grant a modicum of healing. It was working wonders on her burnt skin. Two minutes passed. She heard nothing.

Amanda walked around, trying to get a feel for her surroundings. The pressure outside was so strong her suit was crumpled and pressing against her skin. It hurt. All that she wanted was to get out and let Robert heal her with his healing hands spell. She paused to sigh and imagine him healing all of her aches. Even the secret ones.

Her foot caught on something. Amanda crouched and felt with her gloved hand. it was a head, covered in hair. She grabbed the hair and lifted. Yup, it was the bitch. Unconscious.

Why the fuck hadn't the referee called the fight already?

Steam and Mist were separate affinities. They both derived from Water but while Mist was cold, Steam was hot. The bitch's talent made her immune to fire and magma if her skin was hotter than these elements. Amanda bet she never tried to breathe steam with the combined heat of two thousand Kelvinses's bodies. Or whatever. Fuck that whore.

Amanda walked to the bitch's corner. She pressed her visor against the shield and saw the bitch's teacher staring back at her with a shocked expression. Then she pressed the bitch's face to the shield as she gave pink-ribbon's cheek a good rub, moving the head up, down, left, and right to show to the teacher that Amanda had total control of the situation. Then she summoned her sword and pressed it to pink-ribbon's neck.

"We yield!" The teacher shouted.

The shield was dispelled, causing a deluge of superheated and compressed steam to erupt all over the stadium.

"Natural disaster: Antarctic Blizzard!" Noah shouted.

The whole arena became a winter wonderland as the superheated steam condensed and crystallized into snowflakes. Amanda was sure it would be an excellent beer party trick.

Amanda waved away the assistance from the Academy healers. She tossed the medium rare bitch to her trainer and walked out of the arena. Straight into Robert's healing embrace.

*

*

Robert climbed onto the arena, looking at his opponent. The Water and Wind martial artist was jumping on the balls of his feet, ready to Bruce Lee Robert straight into the losers' bracket. He knew that he'd be in a world of hurt if he got into close quarters range with that guy. That's why he would make this the shortest fight of the tournament. Robert cycled Life essence inside his intestines, spending some biomass to convert it into biofuel.

"Begin!" The referee said.

The ring behind the martial artist was light green, for Wind. He sprung forward propelled by a zephyr, ready to roundhouse kick Robert into the next Chuck Norris meme.

Prwoomph (organic trumpeting sounds)!

Robert raised a hand to cover his mouth as he let out the stinkiest, loudest fart this Academy has ever heard or smelled. Well, not that anyone outside the shield could smell anything.

The ring behind Robert glowed pink with a flash of silver.

The martial artist stopped in the middle of the arena. He bowed to Robert, then raised a hand. "I YIELD!" He shouted.

"Finish!" The referee shouted.

The fight lasted less than three seconds. The martial artist seemed confused but he just slouched his shoulders and walked back to his corner, pinching his nose. Robert felt pity for the guy. Breathing through the mouth in these conditions was worse than through the nose.

The shield didn't come down. Robert stared at the referee. The referee shook his head and waved a hand in front of his nose. Robert walked next to the shield, used his primary talent, and reappeared on the other side after taking a shower and working on his imprint in the liminal void for a month and a half. The shower, not the imprint.

*

*

They went back to their private gym, to strategize the fight of the third day. At this point, only forty-eight students remained in the winner’s bracket. They would have only one fight lasting half an hour tomorrow. After that, they had one day off because it was Sunday.

The tournament restarted with one fight on Monday with a time limit of one hour. From Tuesday to Saturday the tournament would be in recess to let the warriors rest and recover. The loser's bracket would be held between Thursday and Saturday. Sunday was another day off and the round of sixteen would take place the next Monday, followed by fights on Tuesday and Wednesday, The third-place fight and a ball on Thursday with a special appearance and speech by the Empress, then the big final on Friday. Saturday was a big festival where the Empress would crown the winners and grant them one treasure from the Imperial treasury.

This was why people threw their lives away for a chance to win the tournament. They could request almost any treasure from the Imperial vaults. Amanda could get her dreamed Lightning-affinity treasure. And Robert... well, Robert had no idea what he wanted.

Amanda retired early. That left Robert and Noah free to work on Robert latest flash-tempering idea.

*

*

One hour of discussion and planning later, Robert took Noah to the Gurglock passage.

"Halt! This is a restricted area," a member of Samson Security shouted as they appeared in front of the passage.

"Samson Security, Special Agent Blaze, Bodyguard to Ms. Samson, on behalf of Ms. Samson. We are entering the passage, Professor Actus and I."

The guard confirmed their identification and waved them in. The two men crossed the passage.

"What a shitty realm," Noah said as the rain instantly drenched them.

"Yeah," Robert said as he changed into his fairy form and stored his damp clothes. He didn't bother with underwear. What they were about to do would ruin almost any protective clothing he could wear. "I'm ready."

Noah drew a sparky rune in the air. "Natural disaster: Thunderstorm!"

Thunder rained down on Robert. He gritted his teeth and endured the punishment. He used reconstruction on himself.

"Ready!" Robert said again.

Noah drew a chilly rune in the air. "Natural Disaster: Siberian Snowstorm!"

Dozens of feet of snow and sleet rained down on Robert. He shivered but endured the punishment. Reconstruction brought his body back to a pristine state.

Noah kept raining elemental disaster upon disaster on Robert. Flash flood. Snowstorms. Firestorms. Cyclones. earthquake. Forest fire. Even the realm decided to join in on the fun by smiting Robert with a thunderbolt. But each elemental disaster he endured pushed his new Fairy-affinity Elemental Attunement upward.

Noah ran out of Essence before Robert could reach fifty percent along his tempering. Robert took the professor back to campus and returned. He spent all night harvesting Essence from the endless shoals of fish-monsters in the deep oceans, burning that Essence on two-star Haste/Slow spells, pushing the spell's proficiency further and further.