Novels2Search
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody)
Freddy Stern is a Butterfly from Hell

Freddy Stern is a Butterfly from Hell

Robert went to the Professor Emeritus Kaminsky Auditorium, where orientation was supposed to take place. The building was a big box on the outside but, as expected, it used space expansion. Inside, the large auditorium had a seat for every student and teacher, preceded by an equally large foyer. Hundreds of students crowded the place, moving to and fro.

Robert paused and watched as people came and went. The hubbub of voices was painfully loud. Their body language was agitated and voices were as high as their inflammation. Something bad happened.

He had no way to find Amanda in this crowd with only his eyes. While using spells wasn't forbidden, it was frowned upon, especially if it affected other students. Unless it was a harmless spell or the subject gave permission. He used silent message. The spell didn't care about location. It targeted the recipient's mind.

"Amanda, where are you?" He sent. "I am by the Kaminsky auditorium's west entrance."

He waited for four or five minutes. Amanda showed up from behind him. "Hey", she called. He turned around and was dumbstruck. Amanda was almost unrecognizable. Her hair was styled with tresses and not a single strand was out of place, she was wearing heavy but classy makeup, and high heels. The skirt reached the middle of her thighs but she wore opaque pantyhose underneath, keeping her modesty even in case of strong winds. But this was the most beautiful Amanda he'd ever seen.

"Hey. What is going on?" Robert asked. "Why is everyone out here?"

She grasped his hand. "Let's take a walk. This place is too crowded and orientation won't start now. Things have been delayed."

He followed her down a path that cut around a garden. They walked among manicured topiaries in the shape of monsters and mythical creatures, benches under arching tree branches. He couldn't see a single leaf out of place. Some students were relaxing on the benches. After they could no longer hear the crowd in the auditorium foyer, she spoke.

"Humanity lost a four-star. Janhalar, the Kraven patriarch, was declared dead."

Robert knew who the guy was. With the interest the Kraven clan demonstrated, he would be a fool to not learn about his enemy. Janhalar was the patriarch of the clan, their supreme leader. And he was a four-star Archhuman and it was hard to imagine what that meant. Four-stars were the leaders of massive multi-billion conglomerates like Samson or the Kraven. He couldn't imagine how much investment in time and money it took to reach that august realm. Decades, a century.

The death of one of these pillars had repercussions everywhere. Even here, in their walled garden, as the throng of distressed students in the auditorium showed.

"What killed him?"

"Nobody knows. What we know is that he died in a realm several passages away. It might have happened some time ago as he was missing for months now. The Kraven elders only announced it to claim the Empress' protection. I bet some of their enemies was smelling blood in the water. But once one of these organizations lose their head, the Empress forbids armed conflicts Nobody may attack the Kraven clan now. Else they will suffer Her wrath."

"And why are the students this agitated?"

"The Kraven pulled their support and their people from the academy. It means we lost dozens of students and a handful of teachers and other staff. Many unrelated to Kraven also quit to chase after this or that opportunity the vacuum of power created. All scheduling the Academy did and class assignments were thrown in the garbage. Right now, they are trying their best to accommodate everyone's needs.

"It's a shitshow, actually. None of these spoiled brats wants to give up an inch. They demand someone else give up their spot or that they are given the spot of one of the dropouts. People have bruised egos and the whole auditorium became what you witnessed there. It's out of control right now."

"What about you? Did it affect your schedule?"

Amanda snorted and groaned. It was a sight incompatible with her classy lady image.

"I think I was one of the most affected. Two of my main teachers were among those who dropped out."

"That's so unprofessional!"

"I don't blame them. While the empress forbids direct attacks during the mourning period, there are plenty of ways to profit off of the tragedy. Opportunities like this are hard to come by, especially beyond the second star."

"What now, then?"

"I need to find a new combat teacher. It’s hard given my circumstances. Most teachers want to make me shift to either the production or support course."

Robert assumed the other courses were seen as inferior by almost everyone here. He asked Amanda.

"Meta isn't. Depending on the match-up, a fight between a meta and a combat student can go any number of ways. And nobody likes to deal with wildcards. Meta students basically are exempt from duels because nobody is dumb enough to challenge them. And most of those challenged by them burn their declines."

The pecking order in the academy was determined by sanctioned dueling ranks. Duels were always held in specially enchanted arenas and ended at first blood or yield.

Killing were grounds for expulsion and a ridiculously high fine. Killing Amanda in a duel, for example, could cost the offending faction more than a few billion dollars. That wouldn't happen, though, because challengers would instead fight Robert as her champion.

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

Each duel transferred a number of points from the loser to the winner, depending on relative ranking. Match fixing carried a heavy penalty. The rankings were updated every day.

"What about entering a class taught by the teachers from Samson? There should be some, right?"

"It’s no good. While we have some teachers here, the empress forbids students to enroll in classes taught by teachers of the same faction. It's so to promote fairness."

"Bummer. If that isn't an option, we should go back to the auditorium and start our search, then. Because we need to find a teacher who will accept both of us in their class."

With Robert's support, Amanda felt a surge of courage. "Let's go, then!"

*

*

After wandering around the foyer, they entered the humongous auditorium. Inside, dozens of teachers set booths on the stage. Almost all of them were surrounded by a crowd of students, all loudly begging for a spot in their classes. Robert was shocked. He expected the students to behave with class and grace, as per their dignified station but instead, they were like every other teenager.

Seeing the deluge of students going up and down the stage, approaching a booth, and presenting their case to the teachers, Robert understood one of the major problems created by the exodus. The amount of available student seats left behind by the Kraven students was way smaller than the number of lost seats in the classes closed by the departing opportunistic teachers.

As he heard several students demanding a seat in popular teacher's classes, he corrected himself. Instead of class and grace, they were acting with haughtiness and arrogance, as per their entitlement.

They settled on row E, not too close to the stage to get spat on, but close enough to see the faces. They watched the live-action drama unfold. It was useless to go up there and mix with the crowd. While they needed to get two spots in the same class, Robert decided to trust Amanda. Going up there and fighting against these students would be a waste. Most teachers were using the duel ranking as the main criteria for admission. Amanda wasn't one of the top duelists by far. The fact she was even on the rank with a farming talent was already impressive. All due to her diligence and training. Robert wasn't even ranked.

He cast telepathy on Amanda. It would be otherwise impossible to converse over the shouts and the cacophony. She accepted.

"I see why they placed the booths here in the auditorium," Robert said. "Without the acoustic isolation of this place, these noisy kids would bother people the next city over."

"We need to wait for the next batch of teachers but we can't stay here indefinitely," Amanda said. "This is already the third batch and I don't know how many teachers are still available."

And this was for combat instructors.

"Why didn't you use your station to get a spot?"

"One, I was waiting for you. And two, I don't want to. I need to walk my path with my own two shoes. If I let my family name carry me all the way there, what kind of leader will I become?"

Robert smirked. He schooled his expression right away but the damage was done.

"I said all the way. I would be an idiot if I didn't use the resources I am rightfully owed."

Robert chuckled. "You are correct."

"I know I am!" She protested with a light pout.

Teachers started to announce their classes full. Some students tried to argue but it was in vain. In the school sponsored by the Empress, humanity's strongest, these princes and princesses might as well be peasants. The weight of their families and clans were good only to let them attend the Academy and nothing else.

Fifteen minutes later, the stage was cleared by the academy staff ad a new group of teachers took over the booths. Students waited along the stairs, ready to climb on the stage like a herd of raging bulls.

"What happens if we can't get a teacher?"

"That's NOT a possibility," Amanda replied, distressed. "They will assign me to a production or support class. I need a combat upgrade to my talent."

The teachers finished setting up. The staff opened the floodgates. The stampede began and the relative quietness of the auditorium disappeared. This batch was even more desperate than the one before.

"Shouldn't we go and try to get a spot?"

"I don’t know. Why don't you use that hindsight spell of yours?"

"It would only work if the choice can no longer be changed."

"Use it on the previous batch, then."

"I don't have enough essence to use it on all professors."

"Use it on the batch! Ask, if we would end with a good teacher if we had gone on stage to fight for a spot."

Robert did. He asked why these spells from specialized affinities cost so much. The vision he got was of them in separate classes, which was against his directives.

"No good. We would get into combat classes but separated."

She cursed profusely. Robert never heard Amanda use such colorful language and realized she did so because only he could hear her thoughts. He only gave her a worried glance, to which she replied with a grin.

"There's a booth that's not crowded over there," he pointed. It was as odd as Amanda cursing. The teacher wore an ornate mask. White with blue drawings, including a giant eye in the center.

"Dear goodness, not Him!" Amanda gasped.

"What's wrong with that professor?"

"Do you know how each family has a black sheep?"

"And he is the black sheep of this Academy, right?"

"Class is full," a teacher shouted as she stood up and left. Students rushed to other booths but nobody went to the masked teacher.

"What's the deal with the mask? How does he even see through it without eye slits?"

"Nobody knows," Amanda replied. "Depending on who you ask it, they will say he uses the mask because he is disfigured, others will say it’s because his talent charms anyone who sees his face. These two are the most prevailing opinions."

"In which camp are you?"

"Neither. I think he uses the mask because he is a weirdo."

"We should go and talk to him. If we want to stay together, he might be our only choice."

"No! Not him!"

"Amanda, we don't have much choice. Also, all the good students are getting picked by the teachers. If we wait too long, we will end up in crap classes even if we stay together."

"This is the Imperial Academy! There's no crap–"

He decided that Amanda was procrastinating because she didn't want a bad choice but not choosing was the worst one. Robert grabbed her wrist and stood up.

To keep appearances, Amanda went along. She didn't want to be seen dragged along kicking and screaming like a petulant child.

On the stage, things were worse. These young masters and ladies weren't used to struggling to get what they wanted. Or to yield. This close, Robert laughed. They were trying to sell their worth to the teachers as if they were in a collective job interview. Some were even revealing more than they should about their affinities and talent. Robert started to record what he heard to use later. Surely this information had some value.

They reached the masked professor. Here, things were radically different. The two of them aside, only three other students were next to the booth, and they were questioning the masked teacher.

"And what if I don't understand the lecture?"

The masked teacher paused to look at the two newcomers, then faced the other student.

"Then we will go to the forest and fight the monster together!"