This is dedicated to every author who ever suffered from anxiety or any other mental health issue. Including me and Robert Blaise, author of 1% Lifesteal. This is a parody and a fan-fiction of 1% Lifesteal. The main character is not based on Robert Blaise. It's based on my own experience and mental health issues. It only shares a first name with him. Robert Baker had a bad day that stretched into... his whole life? He reached a massive and metaphorical roadblock in his writing career, his parents died, and now the corporate sharks want every penny the Bakers ever had to their name. He needs an escape. He's going to get it. This story makes reference to other Royal Road authors for entertainment purposes. The characters were inspired by them but do not represent the real-world person. Permission was granted to make such references in jest. No criticism of other authors is intended.