Novels2Search
1% Life's Real (a 1% Lifesteal parody)
Hell Ain't a Bad Place. But This Isn't it.

Hell Ain't a Bad Place. But This Isn't it.

A little more than one month after they left Earth, the third realm in their journey greeted Robert with a puff of dry, superheated air. The stench of Sulphur, ashes, and burnt mineral coal made him cough and his eyes water. He thought about their trip. The first realm was one of earth and water. The second realm was air. And now, fire.

Only a master of four elements could thrive in all of them. But when Robert needed him the most, he realized he'd never met him. Or did he? He looked at Professor Actus with suspicion.

The cheeky teacher looked back at him. "Should I have warned you to wear your summer uniforms?"

"Eek!" Amanda shrieked as she crossed the passage. No, it wasn't a new shock, this was the same one as the end of last chapter. Clink. Something cracked. Oops. I'm sorry, fourth-wall-chan.

"Are you okay?" Robert asked.

She waved him off as she walked forward to admire the new realm. "Yeah, just startled. The shocks from the pendant only hurt a lot, they don't do damage. Damn, I'm parched. Also, we don't have summer uniforms, professor. All Academy-issued uniforms have a temperature rune."

"Yes, yes. They surely do. I was thinking of another place I taught at."

The realm had a dark red overcast sky, with plumes of black smoke rising from several spots. The underside of these smoke towers glowed with a red tint. Rock formations and black obsidian spires blocked sight even more than the smoke. The hundred or so feet above the ground were mysteriously clear of the smoke. The absence of a sun gave the whole place a creepy and sinister ambiance.

"This is the Magma Salamander Cliffs," Noah explained. "The main monster species here are the eponymous magma salamanders. Fire-affinity reptiles with delusions of grandeur that bathe in the magma pools and come out to feed on unsuspecting travelers. They sometimes have wings, they often breathe fire, and most have scales instead of the amphibious skin of the Earth salamanders. But don't be mistaken. They aren't real dragons."

"How are we obtaining water in this place?" Amanda asked.

"Despite the sensation of dryness, you are experiencing, this realm has a lot of moisture. However, it is all up there in the dark clouds as the heat down here is not conducive to its condensation. One of your tasks, Amanda, is to work on the condense moisture spell and extend its reach so you can tap into the water available up there."

It might be one of the spells Noah taught Amanda during their one-on-one meetings, Robert conjectured. Had they mentioned it before? He had a vague memory that they did.

"Robert, we might need to camp in the liminal void once again if the heat is too high. Some places are cooler than others but we can't always guarantee we will find a suitable place to camp. While our tent has great thermal insulation, the rocks here all are good conductors of heat."

"No problem on that front."

"Freddy will need to use his talent most of the time. It blocks unwanted thermal exchanges so he'll be fine. Let's go. I'll take the lead and look for any thin ice. Oh. Some joker named one of the peculiarities of this realm 'thin ice'. Sometimes, the upper layers of a lava pool will solidify and form a crust of basaltic rock but remain as liquid lava underneath. If you put too much pressure on this crust, it breaks and releases a plume of boiling gases that can kill weak Archs. Then you might fall into the lava. You won't sink because the lava is too dense. But you won't find any footing either and will probably cook to death before you can leave the magma on your own.

"The rule here is to walk where I walk and avoid places I avoid. I have a walking stick I'll use to poke the path ahead. We will proceed slowly but we might be attacked at any time. We might need to run from enemies too strong for us. Keep your wits about you."

If the previous realm was deceptively deadly, this one was blatantly deadly. It would corner you from all sides, trap you in a peninsula of land surrounded by lava, and then sic their fire-breathing... lizards? Amphibians? Fire-breathing monsters on you.

"What about deviants?" Robert asked.

"They usually have dual affinities. Some scholars conjecture that deviant salamanders without the Fire affinity can be born but they cook and die without their species innate immunity. All salamanders here have colors ranging from orange to dark red. If you see any other color of salamander, let me know. Don't engage deviants. This place is deep enough in the interspace to see the frequent appearance of two- and three-stars monsters. Fire is the most offensive affinity in existence. Others may have a bigger destructive power, or one application where it is very strong but most Fire abilities exist only for offense."

"What are our goals for this place?" Amanda asked. It was something she thought she should've asked in the previous two. It would save them a lot of grief if she did.

"Grow stronger. Find some good specimens for Robert's beast bond, preferably deviants. Develop new spells. Learn how to play with fire. Defend against fire, I mean. Learn survival skills. Which reminds me, here's Robert spell design assignment. Ready?" Noah turned his head to face Robert with the big eye.

"Sure."

"You need to develop a defensive Void spell," Noah said. "You will be graded on efficiency, utility, and practical application. You will also need to do an essay on what makes a defensive spell good. You will defend your essay against Amanda in a debate. You have four days to turn in the essay, then Amanda will have four days to read it and prepare her attack against its weak points. In the ninth day from today, I will mediate the debate. You won't get points for winning or losing. I want to see sound arguments and defenses on both sides. You both will lose points for any logical fallacy you use during the debate."

Robert just stared at a particularly boring rock while he thought. The assignment was unfair at first. Amanda only needed to gather moisture from the atmosphere above them, while Robert had to break new ground.

While he had the book from the cultists detailing applications of the Void affinity, none of them was defensive. The Cult of the Pail Priestess had generations of Void-affinity Archs and none of them ever thought about defending themselves with the Void? Either they were all morons or it wasn't possible. But Noah was so nonchalant in his proposal that he either knew it was possible or he was... testing Robert.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

Should he protest? But deep inside, he believed a defensive Void spell was possible. He could feel it in his fingertips. And in any case, failing the assignment was also an option. Why should he care about his grades? He was Amanda's bodyguard; his real job was to keep her safe.

"Bonus points if your Void-based defensive spell can protect other people," Noah added, breaking Robert from his reverie.

Robert felt the urge to tackle the problem immediately but he held back on using his talent.

"Sure. Defensive spell, Void-affinity, protect others," He repeated, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. "Did you know that the cult had nothing about defense spells in their manuals?"

"That you know of," Noah replied straight away. "But you are correct. There's so little we know about the Void affinity there's no published tempering technique for it."

No, the books he looted from the cultist who definitely didn't die described Void tempering techniques. But each of them was insane.

The first one he found was called Void heart. Its end goal was to replace one's heart with a sphere of Void essence that would somehow keep the blood moving along the body. The benefit was to have a pool of extra Void essence one could tap into. He would also become immune to any ability who targeted his heart. Some Death-Affinity spells attacked the heart to kill the target.

The second was a complement to the first, called Void veins. If the first replaced the heart, well... He would still have blood transporting oxygen and nutrients around but his blood vessels would become tubes of Void essence. The benefit from this technique was that wounds would no longer bleed as the Void veins dissolved attacks affecting them. You could use the former and the latter either together or separated. But the books hinted that Void veins should be used first to ease the transition.

Void heart was too extreme. Because the intermediate states of the tempering required one to survive with only half a heart. But these extreme tempering techniques were also the most rewarding ones. Robert remembered how Damien seemed to have an almost infinite supply of essence. No matter how much he drained the undead Arch, he still had more power to give.

Then the third one was called Void gates of Nirvana. This tempering could only be attempted if the Void heart was at stage 1. It involved inviting the void into one's soul, opening a gate to the deep void inside the Ethercosm. The gate allowed the Arch to dismiss harmful essences into it, like the curses Damien implanted in Amanda and him. In exchange, the gate spat back Void essence the Arch could use. The problem with this tempering technique was that to construct the gate the Arch needed to sacrifice Ether straight from the stars inside the Ethercosm. Meaning it would drain progress and Essence. But when the gate was fully built would it feed the Void heart with a trickle of pure Void essence.

What Noah said was true. These three tempering techniques weren't published as the cult books were restricted to the cult members.

"Actually, professor..." Robert started but was rudely interrupted by a loud and deep gurgling sound.

"Don't worry," Noah said. "We can leave this discussion for later. But now, we have company."

Two mounds of lava rose from the nearest pool, two hundred yards away. The lava was damn hot and even though they were two-star Archs, they needed to keep their distance else they would boil alive. As the lava flowed from their backs, two glowing orange scaled bodies emerged and walked out of the pool, their steps causing the ground to shake.

These salamanders were denser than rock, to swim and sink in the lava. Powerful too. The two draconic amphibians stared at the intruders and bellowed. They weighed enough to leave footprints in the basaltic stone.

"Amanda, Robert, you have to kill one each. Amanda, use whatever you want. Robert, no void lances or using your talent."

Amanda cheered and moved forward. Robert followed but stayed ten feet behind her. He activated prescience with three seconds, ramping up the essence cost from what he was used to. He knew that he could bail Amanda out of trouble with those settings.

The salamanders were faster than what their bulky bodies should allow. Both aimed and rushed at Amanda, sending sprays of gravel behind them as their claws dug into the rock. When one of them got ahead of the other, Robert cast slow on the lead monster. The spell caused the lead monster to falter. The second salamander crashed into the first. They hissed and bit at each other, causing more distraction than what Robert expected.

Amanda used a spell, causing the ground to rumble and shoot up from underneath them. The cantankerous monsters ignored the belly rub Amanda's spell gave them. She stopped and Robert quickly caught up with her. At this distance, the heat from the lava was unbearable.

"Any ideas?"

"No–Ohwowow!" She hissed as the amulet that held the octopus' grudges zapped her again.

"No fire-affinity plants?"

She glared at him. "As many of these around as Holy-affinity undead."

"Ice?" He guessed.

"Yes, but it would take more than my full essence pool to kill a salamander that big and hot."

Essence attrition was the number one cause for early retreats. Archs had to pace and ration their essence else they could be caught by enemies without the energy to fight back.

Robert conjured his spear from the ring storage. "Fall back," he said. "Stay behind me."

They slowly moved away from the fight. It seemed that these salamanders, once focused on a target, didn't let go until either it or the target was dead. They were biting and clawing each other as they climbed and tangled around one another. Each time one of them slid down from atop the other, the ground shook and a hail of shrapnel shot in all directions. Robert noticed that, despite the gashes he could see in the monster's bodies, they weren't bleeding. Were their bodies more stone than flesh?

"Is it okay to let them kill each other?" Robert asked as they returned to where Noah stood.

"No. You need to kill one each," Professor Actus replied. "In a normal combat situation, it would be laudable to let the monsters kill each other but this is an exercise. I need to know that you have the means to score a kill each."

Not happy with the task, Robert decided to slowly walk toward the brawling salamanders. "Amanda, you need to use a stronger attack to finish yours. Pick the one you think is the most wounded. I can handle the other."

*

*

Amanda frowned and bit her lower lip. She wasn't happy because she felt like she was basically being handled scraps. It reminded her of how weak she was, compared to Robert. It was unfair, she believed. But then she remembered how she pitied Robert because the report from the ATA said his talent would cut his life short by 99%. How it led them to believe he only had one year to live. Amanda wanted to go back to Earth and smack the idiots who assessed that talent as crap. The affinities alone... Not that her affinities were bad. She just... Ugh.

Dipping into her essence reserves, she cast the Earth spike spell with the full power of her two stars. A quarter of her full pool vanished as the ground shot up and impaled one of the salamanders through the neck. It stopped moving. Amanda felt the surge of essence replenish a minute amount of what she spent.

It was fine. As Noah said, this is not a normal fight in a delve. it was an exercise.

Robert ran and stabbed the other salamander in the eye. The boar spear dug a few inches into the eye and then stopped. He let go of the weapon and jumped away, revealing the monster's face to Amanda. A gout of flames erupted from the monster's mouth but Robert moved away extremely fast. He bounced on a tall rock and leaped back, pulling a fist back. When he punched the monster head on the right side, opposite to where the spear was still stuck, a black ball formed in front of his fist and exploded forward. The pitch-black Void essence engulfed the right side of the head and a spray of hot rock flew away from him.

The second salamander slumped, a quarter of its head missing. Robert retrieved his spear and moved away. They could only stay near the superheated monsters and the lava pool for a brief interval of time.

"Good job," he told her in an attempt to lift her spirits and mood.

"Thank y– yaaaah!" Another zap from the stupid necklace.