That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:
Volume 2.7 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and rehabilitated a cult
My mind was reeling with fear in a way that had nothing to do with the currently-exploding portal. I'd activated [Time Slow] so that I could have more time to think and plan, and not just because explosions look cool as hell in slow-motion. I usually didn't make mistakes, but I was kind of, maybe, sort of, just a little bit, thinking maybe I had made one just now.
Not the [Time Slow], I mean. I stood by that 100%! I meant that I should have probably tried a little harder to stop their ritual. When they had said they were summoning something, I was expecting something easier to deal with, like an Evil God or a kingdom-destroying dragon, or an otherworldly horror here to plunge our world into a screaming, chaotic abyss. I hadn't expected the [Demon Lord] himself!
Was I really ready to take on the last boss?! I'd just broken into double digit levels. I feel like I'd want to be at least Level 50 before I fought the big bad, at a minimum! Ideally, I'd like to grind in the Item World for several years until I could do a couple trillion damage and beat the [Demon Lord] in a single hit.
I didn't have time to think about that now, though! The portal was erupting in a rush of flames and billowing waves of violet energy. Wanda was flinching back in slow motion. She seemed afraid... she must have had some past trauma related to explosions. I shook my head slowly and made a point to remind myself to give her sympathy headpats later. She'd probably lost a loved one to some tragic, but probably radical explosion-related accident.
The flames washed past us, and I let out a sigh of relief as I realized they were just a cosmetic effect. The fire filled the room and changed colors a few times before eventually fading out with a star wipe, leaving the room full of smoke.
I clenched my sword in my hand. This was it... soon I'd have to face my most powerful enemy yet! The smoke cleared, and there, standing ominously in the shattered ruins of the stone slab was the only one I had cause to fear: nobody.
There was a long, awkward pause, a tense moment where nobody dared to breathe. Finally, the Cult Leader cleared his throat.
"Um..." he said. "Maybe it takes a minute?"
I stared at the completely empty spot where the portal had been. Nothing had appeared. The shaking had stopped, and it seemed as if the ritual had been completed, but there was no [Demon Lord]! Even the smoke faded from the room, as if trying to escape from the second-hand embarrassment. The sub-cultists looked at each other, shifting nervously.
I grinned a smile. "Well, I guess they were too scared to face me," I assumed. The Cult Leader shot me a dirty look, clearly hating me for speaking the truth. He picked up a fiendish codex on a pedestal next to him and flipped back and forth a few pages. His skull mask betrayed a desperate confusion, like somebody with a piece left over after they'd completed building their bookshelf.
"It... what could have gone wrong? I did everything like it says!"
One of the other cultists crossed his arms. "I told you a virgin margarita wouldn't work. We need a real virgin."
The other cultists turned to look opportunistically at Wanda, who laughed.
"Not even close, wan," she informed them.
"S-same," I lied, stammering confidently. They turned to look at Bonbon, who pointedly avoided their gaze.
Bonbon cleared her throat, smoothing her apron down before speaking. "When you said the [Demon Lord], who did..." she scratched her cheek. "No, I guess I should ask instead: what was your ritual supposed to do?"
The Cult Leader looked at her like she was speaking another language.
"Huh? Are you as foolish as you look, girl?!" the Cult Leader spat condescendingly. I opened my mouth to defend Bonbon's honor without her asking, but he continued. "Don't answer that. Just read this."
Sighing, he reached into the sleeve of his robe and pulled out a couple pamphlets, before handing one to each of us. I took a look at the front and saw a cute, stylized drawing of the Cult Leader holding a knife in the air. The message at the top read "So you want to summon the Dark One?"
I pretended to flip through it, waiting for Bonbon and/or Wanda to make some commentary on it that I could latch onto.
"Wan... this..." Wanda exchanged a glance with Bonbon before giving the Cult Leader a sympathetic wince.
"Um..." Bonbon began gently. "So, you were trying to 'wake the [Demon Lord] from his thousand-year slumber, to plunge the world into darkness'?"
The Cult Leader crossed his arms. "You got a problem with that?"
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"A couple, yeah," Bonbon replied. "But um, most importantly... the [Demon Lord] is... er..." She scratched her cheek again, her ears twitching as she struggled to figure out how to deliver the bad news.
"Wan! He's already awake," Wanda told them, tearing the bandaid off.
The Cult Leader froze. "W-wha? What do you mean? He's already awake? Since when?"
"He returned like ten years ago, wan."
The Cult Leader sagged backwards, into a cool chair made of bones that one of his sub-cultists quickly slid into place. "But... how... I was... I was searching for so long. I..."
I'd heard enough. I leaned forward and gave the Cult Leader a motivational haymaker to the face, using only a fraction of my strength to send him sprawling out of the chair and across the ground, rather than exploding into a mist of blood. He sat up, looking at me in shock, which he really shouldn't have because I mean, I just killed like 20 of his followers. Still. I wasn't about to kill him. I was here to inspire him.
"This is what happens when you waste your life!" I told him heroically. "You spent your time trying to get back at the world, and for what?"
I gestured towards the spot where the altar had used to be, to indicate that the answer to my rhetorical question was "nothing."
"You spent all those years trying to summon somebody strong to rely on, when you should have been relying on yourself!"
He looked up at me, blinking. "What... what do you mean?"
I chuckled, puffing up my chest. "Don't rely on some ancient evil to just wake up and solve your problems for you. You need to solve things with your own strength."
The Cult Leader looked down at his hands, the eye sockets of his skull mask trembling with tears.
"B-but... all my life, I've thought I was weak. Are..." He swallowed, clenching his fist and looking up at me with determination. "Are you saying I had the strength within me all along? That I just had to believe?"
I smiled and appraised him using my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill.
Name: Gartholomew
Active Title: [Cult Leader]
Faction: Gary's Cool Demon Lord Cult
Level: 4
EXP: 16/200
Skill Points: 10
Gold Stars: 0
Gacha Coins: 0
HP: 150/150
MP: 0/175
SP: 25/75
FP: 0/0
Attributes:
Stranth: 12
Dexterity: 8
Swoleness: 10
Magic: 22
Karma: -50
Mojo: 25
Luck: 15
Skills:
[Walking Basics - Lvl 3] [Crawling Basics - Lvl 1] [Summoning Basics - Lvl 2] [Cultist Mastery - Lvl 5] [Necromancer Basics - Lvl 3] [Research Mastery - Lvl 6] [Bookworm Basics - Lvl 4] [Leadership - Lvl 3] [Cult Leader] [Magic Conscription] [Magic Casting] [Magic Perception] [Ritual Formation] [Bartending Basics - Lvl 2]
Spells:
[Raise Skeleton Lvl 1]
[Summon Imp Lvl 2]
[Magnify Text]
[Spectral Smoke]
[Darkbolt Lvl 1]
Rituals:
[Awaken Demon Lord]
Titles:
[Coward] [Summoner] [Cultist] [Cult Leader] [Bookworm]
I smiled kindly at him and shook my head. "No way. You're super weak."
He hung his head, but I gave him a reassuring uppercut, raising his head and his spirits. "What I meant was: You should instead be looking for a ritual to give yourself badass infernal powers."
He gaped at me like a fish that had heard surprising news. "W-wha?"
I spread my arms wide. "Summoning monsters is for losers. Then you just have something strong that you have to try to control. If you're gonna tamper with dark forces, at least tamper with the ones that will make you strong as fuck!"
He leaned back, his skull mask's eyes wide with realization.
"But... we've worked so hard... can we really just... change on a dime like that?"
I smiled and pounded my chest, activating my [Background Music Basics], which I had just obtained using my [Instantly Learn Skill] skill. At once, a triumphant, stirring fanfare began to play.
"You there!" I shouted, pointing at one of the sub-cultists arbitrarily. "Why did you want to summon the [Demon Lord]?"
He looked up at me in shock, instantly nervous at being put on the spot.
"T-to be cool?"
I nodded to myself, then pointed to the next one. "And you?"
"I... I wanted to get back at my enemies!"
I continued to point at the other cultists in turn.
"Hot demon waifu!"
"I wanted to enact social change!"
"I just like hurting people."
"I'm only here for the donuts."
"Revenge!"
I smiled, my heart swelling as they told me their dreams. "Well, all of these things are possible," I reassured them, "if you just seize it with your own two hands, and tons and tons of ancient arcane empowerment rituals."
Behind me, the Cult Leader stood up, shaking his head.
"I... I hadn't considered that..." he admitted. "You... yeah. You're right!"
He stood up straighter, brushing himself off and burning with both resolve and illusory fire.
"YOU'RE RIGHT!" He turned to the rest of his assorted sub-cultists. "Alright guys! It's time for us to turn over a new leaf! No more [Summoning]! We're going to take over the world... with OUR OWN POWER!"
The cultists let out a cheer, and I nodded proudly, turning and walking towards the exit. My work here was done. Bonbon and Wanda soon fell into step behind me.
"Um... Hiro-san? Are we just... gonna let them go?"
I nodded sagely. "They've learned their lesson, Bonbon. We don't have to worry about them summoning the [Demon Lord] any time soon."
I led the way up the spiral staircase, feeling a strange, light feeling in my chest. I thought it was heartburn at first, but then I realized: it was pride. All this time, I'd been relying on my godlike personal power to solve my problems in this badass Isekai litRPG fantasy world. But... maybe there was another way. I'd helped those cultists give up their evil ways for other, potentially less evil ways. And I'd done it only having killed 20-40 people.
I smiled to myself as I walked out of the cave and into the bright, sunny day. Could I be turning over a new leaf? Was this a new, mercy-based technique for Hiro Protagonist?
As we climbed into the cart, I continued to think about it. Maybe... true strength wasn't just about the numbers on your skill sheet. Maybe real strength was something else. Maybe...
"Wan..." Wanda commented casually, leaning back in the cart with a bucket of butterscotch pudding. "I was surprised, Master! I expected you'd kill all of them for the EXP, wan!"
... huh?
Wait, I'd forgotten about my EXP! Quickly, I glanced up at the Skull Cave and activated all of my magic skills to cast [Meteor Storm], annihilating it utterly.
"Thanks, Wanda!" I said, smiling brightly to my two companions, who were both stunned in admiration. "I almost forgot about the EXP!"
I took a deep breath of the sweet summer air and thrust my hand forwards.
"Onwards! To adventure!"