That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not
Canto 2.24 - That time I was reincarnated in another world and was forced to listen to lore
Skill Obtained: [Ruler Resistance - Lvl 1]
Skill [Ruler Resistance - Lvl 1] has leveled up to [Ruler Resistance - Lvl 2]
Skill [Ruler Resistance - Lvl 2] has leveled up to [Ruler Resistance - Lvl 3]
"Nnnnghhh..." I groaned, "N-no more."
Mother Exposita sheathed her rulers as she stood over what remained of my ruined knuckles. She tipped her head, a stoic expression nestled among her wrinkles.
"Once again I have thwapped a worthless object..." she mused. "I hope you've learned your lesson."
I nodded weakly, regenerating my lost HP and wounds using [Ultra Max Regeneration] after a narratively-appropriate amount of time had passed. I'd definitely learned something! I wasn't sure what, exactly, I'd learned, but I couldn't afford to let that stop me.
"Y-you're... pretty good," I chuckled, shakily rising to my feet and wiping blood from the corner of my mouth where I'd bitten my tongue when I was crying.
In response, Exposita merely snapped her fingers, and the two strong Paladins walked in, carting the massive book between them. They gave me a look as if it were somehow my fault that they had to cart the book halfway across the building again. I ignored them, deciding to look at things that actually mattered. Namely, the things that were going on in that pit of pudding. All kinds of nice stuff was happening, and there was no way that I was going to-
*THWAP*
[Absolute Invulnerability] has been negated by Mother Exposita's skill [The Guilty Pay The Price]
You have taken 1 damage
"H-hey! What was that for?!" I demanded, rubbing the back of my head where she'd hit me.
She sniffed, looking at me like I was some piece of human garbage which had been entrusted with the very fate of the world. Which, I mean, harsh, but fair. She flipped the giant book open and adjusted her eyeglasses.
"You weren't paying attention. I gave you the benefit of the doubt before, and look where that got us." She shook her head, waggling her ruler in my direction. "Now, you're going to listen to this entire story. And if I catch you slacking off again, you'll get another one of these!"
I gasped at her, my cheeks reddening with outrage. "W-what do you think you're accusing me of, lady?" I demanded. "I was just looking respectfully. My hands are right here where everyone can see them."
She stared at me for a few seconds, her expression darkening into a severely unimpressed stare.
"I said slacking," she replied primly.
"O-oh..." I rubbed the back of my head in embarrassment. "Then, uh, guilty as charged, heh."
*THWAP*
[Absolute Invulnerability] has been negated by Mother Exposita's skill [The Guilty Pay The Price]
You have taken 1 damage
D-damn it! This wasn't good! That attack of hers could go right through my defenses! I checked my HP quickly on my [Status HUD], letting out a gulp. Unless I healed myself or used one of my multiple automatic regeneration skills, I could only take another 69,423 of those attacks!
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
My throat tightened up in fear. This might be the first time my life was actually in peril in this badass LitRPG Fantasy Isekai world! I sat in seiza, my back straight and my attention firmly on the old hag with the book. Something incredible was happening behind me, though.
"H-hey! That's n-no fair! Susannah, don't- ahn! D-don't touch that!"
"Huh? Is something wrong? All's fair in love and war, right?"
"Nnn... s-stop that! W-wait, if you do that, I'm gonna... I'm..."
"Huh? Kimiko, where'd you get the chair? H-hang on, time out! Put that down!"
"W-worldstar..."
*THUNK*
I glanced at Mother Exposita, who was in the midst of reading out loud.
"And so The Legendary Hero did walk left several paces, and then he walked right several paces, and soon encountered a dire fight against a wild boar! He quickly launched into an offensive with his sword, dealing 98 points of damage to the beast! The beast attacked him in return, grievously wounding him for a critical 217 damage. Things looked grim for the hero, but he came prepared, and cast [Cure2], healing himself for 680 health, enough to fully revitalize himself. The boar attacked again, but missed, and the hero soon slew him with a mighty blow and 116 points of damage! He was rewarded for his triumph with 42 experience points, 16 gold coins which the boar had secreted somewhere, and most importantly: a [Boar Tusk], which the hero needed for the alchemist's errand. Only nine more needed now."
She turned the page, and I quietly activated my [Periscope Vision], eager to get an eyeful of what was going on in that pudding match!
*THWAP*
[Absolute Invulnerability] has been negated by Mother Exposita's skill [The Guilty Pay The Price]
You have taken 1 damage
Nngh! I rubbed the stinging spot on the top of my head where she'd hit me. How had she known?! Did she have some kind of [Skill] or something?! She didn't seem to be paying me any attention, continuing her reading instead.
"And so the hero, resolute from his victory, began to walk to the left several paces. And again to the right-"
----------------------------------------
T-this was hell! This was really hell! The sounds from the pit had since devolved into the kind of thing I wouldn't want to be caught listening to or watching in public, and some of the other paladins had either fled, or set up candles for mood lighting. I grit my teeth, sweat pouring down my forehead. In front of me, Mother Exposita continued to read.
"... in response, Ardrick raised his sword defiantly. 'No,' he shouted. 'Hinge would never betray us! I know that deep in his heart, the light of friendship still shines!' But the cloaked figure attacked him again, zippers flowing in the wind. Their swords clashed, and Ardrick grit his teeth as Jucika raised her staff. She cast [Shield3] on him, granting him physical resistance, and reducing the cloaked figure's next attack to only 731 damage. Ardrick raised his sword, preparing to activate a mighty Arte, but let out a gasp as the hood of the cloak fell back. It was Hinge! His eyes had changed, with catlike pupils and gold sclera. His skin had deepened to a spray-on tan. It was too late... Hinge was not in the Mirror-Doom Keep as they thought. He had already had his body taken over, a copy of the [Dragon King]'s personality injected into him. 'No!' Ardrick cried out. 'Hinge!' His friend attacked again, dealing 847 damage. 'Hinge! Please stop this!' Nirvana sobbed, holding her bow up to aim at the once-friend. But Hinge only laughed, his voice echoing just liked the [Dragon King]'s. 'Your friend is gone!' he shouted, 'Darkness has overtaken him. Just like it shall overtake you.' He took on a combat stance, readying a powerful attack. 'Allow me to unplug the nightlight of your hearts!' the villain shouted..."
My eyes flickered, my neck stiff from holding it straight for so long. But I knew that if I let it rest for even a second, my eyes would be drawn like a magnet to the 'fight' going on behind me. There had to be some kind of solution. Some kind of way out! I didn't come here for a textual experience! I wanted something that rhymed with that instead! But every time I tried to take my attention off of her, I got hit with that ruler! Even if I used my perception [Skills], she knew!
I had to... figure out some kind of way to think in two places at once! A [Skill] like that... I'd seen one before, in another story about a crab or something. If it existed in one game-like world, then it definitely had to exist in all of them. But... if I were to do that, then I'd have no choice... I'd have to spend my Skill Points! I'd already tried learning it with [Instantly Learn Skill], back when I was trying to walk and talk at the same time. 1500 Skill Points... Was it... really worth it?
"... dealing 115 [Poison] damage. However, luck was on his side, as this gave Ardrick enough Boost to activate his Limit Break. However, the enemy was a mere slime, no worthy opponent for Ardrick's might, and the [Boss] was coming up soon, and so Ardrick merely Defended, to avoid wasting his Limit Break. The slime went next, casting its [Poison Mist] on Nirvana, inflicting the [Poison] condition on her as well, and dealing 537 damage besides that. Nirvana was worried, for she was low on health. However, her doom was soon offset, as Flavos used his [Chef Artes] to restore her health and status with a refreshing bisque. It was Nirvana's turn next, and she drew her bow, using her [Multi-shot] Arte to pierce the slime 3 times, dealing 860, 1200, and 700 damage, and thus felling the beast. As rewards for their triumph, the party each earned 615 experience, and a shared 250 gold. The slime also happened to drop an [Antidote], which quickly went into their inventory with the other 38 [Antidotes] they had already. The party continued on, with Ardrick walking a few paces to the left, and then turning and walking a few paces to the right, and then turning..."
Yeah. it was worth it.
I quickly spent 1500 of my Skill Points, wincing at the huge expenditure. But it was worth it! I finally had it, a skill worthy of calling a cheat skill! I grinned a smile. With this... Mother Exposita didn't stand a chance!
1500 Skill Points spent. Skill Obtained: [Parallel Wills - Lvl 1]