That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:

Combat 1.43 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and made Bonbon take her final test

Juan and I stared each other down as the boss battle music began to play. I twisted my grip on the katana, swinging it about and sheathing it at once.

"Alright," I said, turning to my party. "Bonbon, you're up again. This guy is a total pushover. You can kill him like a small dog."

"H-huh?" she gasped, jerking back in completely unwarranted surprise. "W-what? Fight him?!"

"Yes," I explained, "It means to hit and/or stab him over and over until he dies." I gave her a level stare. "I thought you knew that already, you've been doing a lot of fighting today."

She shook her head rapidly. "T-that's... I know- why would you exp- no, never mind." She took a short breath, her chest rising in a distracting way, before continuing, a bit calmer. "What I mean is, are you just planning on having me do everything in this dungeon?"

I blinked at her. "Not at first," I admitted, "I was gonna handle the [Yellow Dragons] by myself so that you didn't try to steal credit. But there aren't any [Yellow Dragons] here, so we might as well keep the streak going."

I stepped back, gesturing for her to move forward and take my place. She stared apprehensively at Juan, who was giving a conflicted expression as he sized up his new opponent. He turned to point his sword at me.

"I'd much rather kill you, man. I ain't about fightin' ladies."

"Demon Lord Army's an equal-opportunity marauder," Taro interjected, chastising his comrade. He waggled one finger without uncrossing his arms. "Don't underestimate her just because she's a woman. You should know better than that, considering."

Juan tch'd his tongue in irritation. "Not like that, jackass. I ain't sayin' she's weak. I just don't see the point in killing cute girls is all. That ain't what I signed on for when I was rein-"

"Watch what you say," Taro warned him, his voice taking on a sudden sharpness. The air in the chamber became chilly, and Taro's eye opened just a sliver. I wasn't sure which swear word Juan had been about to drop, but he just gave Taro a withering look in response. He jabbed one hand at me, which I thought was an attack at first, but the only thing that hit me was the incredulous expression he was giving.

"Man, he's got a fucking skateboard. I think we all know the score here."

Taro opened one eye meaningfully, glancing over at Juan without moving his head, before flicking his gaze over to me. "HE does, sure."

Juan looked at me, and I nodded sagely to pretend that I knew what they were talking about. He looked at Bonbon and Wanda, then recognition seemed to cross his face. He sighed, shaking his head and rolling out his shoulders as he fell back into a combat stance.

"Whatever, man..." he said, his voice resigned. "I just don't wanna kill chicks."

"Don't kill her, then. Just kick her ass or something. I don't care what you do, just quit bitching about it," Taro retorted, his voice weary, like he was talking to a child. Which, given the decrepit, ancient age he appeared to be, was probably accurate in a way.

Bonbon, trembling, pointed a finger at the discussion and turned to face me. Her eyes were shimmering with tears.

"H-Hiro-san, they said they're gonna kick my ass."

I nodded, acknowledging that her ears were working correctly. "Yeah," I said, flashing her a motivational thumbs-up. and activating [Peer Pressure Mastery - Lvl 1] "Are you gonna let them get away with that?"

"H-huh? I mean... I-I'm not bad at fighting, but he's part of the Elite Fours, right? Aren't they kind of a big deal? That's a little outside my weight class, isn't it?!"

Poor Bonbon! I wanted to give her headpats, but she was all the way over there, so I just closed one eye and patted with my finger so that it looked like I was giving her headpats. She seemed scared to go up against a stronger foe, which was completely understandable. Still, I was going to have to deduct her points for that.

Now that I thought about it, though... he might be higher level... but was he even really that strong? I looked at Bonbon and decided to appraise her, using my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill:

Name: Bonbon A. Petit

Active Title: [Enterprising Cook]

Faction: King Presley's Elvish Nation

Race: Elf

Level: 6

EXP: 730/750

Skill Points: 75

Gold Stars: 5

Gacha Coins: 0

HP: 635/800

MP: 94/200

SP: 115/170

FP: 2/2

Attributes:

Stranth: 18

Dexterity: 31

Swoleness: 19

Magic: 35

Karma: 120

Mojo: 15

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Luck: 28

Skills:

[Walking Mastery - Lvl 4] [Hustling Basics - Lvl 9] [Cooking Mastery - Lvl 7] [Burning Resistance - Lvl 4] [Slashing Resistance - Lvl 3] [Pain Resistance - Lvl 4] [Food Critic Basics] [Enterprising Chef] [Kitchen Hands] [Knife Supremacy] [Speak with Animals] [Speak with Plants] [Stealth] [Improved Dexterity] [Beautiful - Lvl 10] [Double Chop] [Conga Line Basics - Lvl 1] [Aura (Food Preservation)] [Elf Ears] [Elf Eyes] [Immortal] [Magic Conscription] [Culinary Magic] [Magic Perception] [Magic Casting] [Divine Cookery] [Princess] [Secret Princess] [Fated]

Titles:

[Cook] [Enterprising Cook] [Scion of the Kitchen] [Trendsetter] [Chosen of Flavos] [Princess] [Rogue] [Elf]

Culinary Artes:

[Short Order Chef]

[Crunch Time]

[Precision Serving]

[Unbreakable Apron]

[Acquire Taste]

Trendsetter Artes:

[Mill Rumors]

Spells:

[Create Food]

[Unburn]

[Bestow Flavor: (Spicy)]

[Bestow Flavor: (Sour)]

[Bestow Flavor: (Good)]

[Fistful of Spice]

[Purify Food and Drink]

[Freeze]

I nodded to myself. "Yeah," I confirmed. "He may be higher level than you, but your stats are basically all way higher than his. There's a lot more to a fight than just levels. If his stats are lower, then the level doesn't matter at all. There's nothing to be afraid of."

I smiled at her, then looked over at Wanda, who was giving me a thousand-yard stare for some reason.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, frowning internally, but putting a happy face on to make Bonbon feel more comfortable for her ensuing deathmatch.

"[Slime King], wan," Wanda replied, her voice flat.

[Slime King]? I wasn't quite sure what she was getting at. I blinked at her while my mind churned for a few seconds, then looked at the two enemies. Ah, that's what she was getting at.

"No," I corrected her, shaking my head. "Those are people. They might also be [Bosses], but they're not the same as the [Slime King]."

Wanda stared at me for a moment, looking very much like she had something to say, before shaking her head and saying "Wan! Master is a smart master, wan!"

I gave her a headpats as reward for her empty compliment, but I wasn't an idiot. I knew she was just saying that for my benefit. It was obvious she didn't really understand the difference. I immediately began drafting up a lesson plan on the differences between slimes and people, using the [Substitute Teacher Basics - Lvl 1] skill I had just obtained via [Instantly Learn Skill].

Bonbon took a deep breath, drawing her knife and her frying pan. She crossed her arms and lowered her head in a quiet prayer, a single strand of her blond hair falling in front of her face. Her lips moved quietly as she muttered her prayer. Juan waited patiently, standing with one hip cocked and his sword slung over his shoulder. I studied his pose and took a few notes for my Cool Guy Tutorial that I'd have to practice in front of a mirror later.

"...and may our spirits and our emulsions never break. Itadakimasu." She finished, lifting her head and staring at Juan with newfound determination. I couldn't help but notice a faint aura around her, a rippling in the air like heat off an oven. She stepped forward, and I also couldn't help but notice that she was animated at 60 frames per second. This... was going to be one hell of a fight.

Juan seemed to not be able to help but notice as well, glancing her over before doing a double-take to her chest, and a second consecutive double-take to her eyes, and the fire dancing within them.

"Heh..." he hehed, bowing his head and grinning a smile. "Alright then. I'll get serious too."

He held his sword out in a salute ahead of him, and the ground began to rumble slightly. His head whipped up, and his eyes flashed suddenly.

"[PLUS ONE]!" He called, activating one of his weird Artes. A sudden, barely-visible cloud of steam rose from Bonbon and rushed towards him, coalescing around his limbs. The elf dashed towards him, bringing her pan to bear, and he lunged forward to meet her.

There was a clash, and a rush of wind, and when the dust cleared, I saw that his sword had vanished, replaced with a pitch-black cast-iron pan in one hand, and a black chef's knife in the other. He had one arm raised, blocking Bonbon's pan with his own. They ground against each other, sending up sparks and probably irreversibly ruining the seasoning on the surface of the pans.

Huh? I blinked in confusion as he shoved Bonbon back, taking an opportunistic swipe with his knife. The tip scraped against her apron, sending up more sparks, but did not pierce it. Something... something wasn't right.

Bonbon held her left hand up, activating her Magic Skills to cast [Create Food], sending out a shotgun blast of boiling-hot consommé towards Juan.

In response, Juan whipped his own hand up, and cast [Create Food] as well, sending out an even larger blast of shaved ice, which met the consommé in a roiling cloud of steam. Bonbon flinched back as a few of the ice shards made it through and landed on her face, making her a little cold and melting into a sticky residue that would probably be a pain to clean off. My eyes widened. His magic was more powerful than hers?!

This... what was going on here? I watched as they clashed a few more times, swinging their knives and pans on roughly equal footing. But... was it just me, or did it seem like Bonbon was falling behind a bit. I looked over at Wanda, who was carefully studying the fight as well, her eyes wildly dilating and her face flushed. Yeah... something really fucky-wucky was going on here. I don't even remember Juan having magic skills!

Well... maybe I'd just misread his status or something. The odds of that were pretty low given how smart and powerful I was, but I was also extremely humble, and knew it was worth a double-check. I quickly appraised him once more, using my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill.

Juan Pluswan

Active Title: [Elite Four]

Faction: Demon Lord's Army

Level: 18

EXP: 680/3000

Skill Points: 25

Gold Stars: 16

Gacha Coins: 300

HP: 5600/5640

MP: 250/300

SP: 5440/6400

FP: 5/6

Attributes [Bonbon A. Petit]:

Stranth: 19

Dexterity: 32

Swoleness: 20

Magic: 36

Karma: 121

Mojo: 16

Luck: 29

Skills:

[Adaptive Skill - Supremacy] [Adaptive Resistance - Invulnerability] [Adaptive Talent - Supremacy] [Adaptive Weapon - Supremacy] [Foresight] [Divine Blessing] [Envy] [Icon of Envy]

Titles:

[Copycat] [Oneupsman] [Visibly Superior] [Great Warrior] [Sword Saint] [Demon Lord's Soldier] [Counter Master] [Bully] [Human Disaster] [Monster Disaster] [Demi-human Disaster] [Elf Slaughterer] [Demon Killer] [Icon of Envy] [Diamond Rank Adventurer] [Hero] [Fallen Hero] [Artes Master] [Underdog]

Adaptive Artes:

[Plus One] [Plus Ultra] [Plus Max] [Plus Infinite]

...huh? Were his stats... higher somehow? Had I misread them earlier? I couldn't remember what his stats were before, but it was one of those small numbers like ten or Q, which I'm pretty sure either a number or a translation error (TL Note: Don't pin this on me, asshole).

But now... it looked like each of his stats was just a little bit higher than Bonbon's. Higher stats and higher level meant... My head began to throb like a subwoofer at a dubstep concert. I'd made a horrible mistake. I looked up at Bonbon as she was shoved back by a powerful overhanded julienne, her feet sending up clouds of dust as she slid.

She glanced over at me, giving me an encouraging smile through clenched teeth. I tried to smile back, but found it difficult, the realization of my grave error weighing on my heart and my chances of scoring with her someday. This fight's outcome was already determined, from the moment I made her fight.

Bonbon... was going to lose.