That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:
Encounter 1.15: That time I was resurrected into another world and tasted Dirtworlder cuisine
I hopped up and grinded on a rain gutter as Wanda leapt from roof to roof behind me. Some of the townsfolk below me were shouting up in anger as I rained down sparks and debris knocked loose from the gutters, but traveling at ground level was for peasants.
I casually did a 900+Madonna and landed on a statue of Kamiko, grinding infinitely on one of her iconic eye wheels. I decided to call up Kamiko and let her know, ringing her up on my CODEC.
"Hey, Kamiko!" I shouted happily, "You'll never guess what I'm doing right now!"
There was a silence from the other end, and then Kamiko laughed, a long, bitterly-amused laugh.
"What a fool you are," she said. "I'm a God! How can you grind on a God?"
"Like this," I explained, continuing to grind on the bronze eye-wheel of her statue.
"This is getting tiresome..." she sighed. "Have you made any progress on your quest, Hiro-chama?"
"Besides that one guy I killed?" I asked, completely misremembering the events that had occurred earlier that day. "I got a new ally!"
"An ally, already?" Kamiko gasped, "Hiro, that's grea-"
"She's a [Slave]!"
"Okay."
I did a kickflip mid-grind, landing back on the same eye-wheel to rack up extra points. I continued to grind on in silence for a few seconds, before Kamiko continued.
"A-anyways, you uh... wait, she? Hiro... is she a girl?"
"I know it's hard to believe, but do remember that I bought her," I reminded my omniscient childhood friend.
"Hiro-kun, you... you dummy!" She said, her voice growing irate and squeaky. "Why are you hanging out with a girl that isn't me? Meanie! Idiot! Baka!"
"C-coupon," I muttered. I realized that I should probably land this trick if I wanted to actually score the points, so it was probably time to stop grinding. Also, it looked like Wanda might be in trouble. Some suspicious guy in a trenchcoat was talking to her at the mouth of an alley.
I appraised the man using my appraisal skill [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] and read his appraisal status.
Thug A
Active Title: [Drug Dealer]
Faction: Tri-Yakuza Mafia Cartel
Level 4
EXP: 12/160
Skill Points: 10
Gold Stars:0
Gacha Coins: 0
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HP: 240/240
MP: 15/15
SP: 40/40
FP: 0
Attributes:
Stranth: 12
Dexterity: 10
Swoleness: 14
Magic: 4
Karma: -350
Mojo: 35
Luck: -15
Skills:
[Walking Basics - Lvl 3] [Crime Basics - Lvl 4] [Salesman - Lvl 4] [Haggling Basics - Lvl 3] [Drug Resistance - Lvl 6] [Alcohol Resistance - Lvl 4] [Dagger Basics] [Backstab] [Coward] [Cad] [Thief]
Titles:
[Drug Dealer] [Minion] [Mob Character] [Addict] [Mafioso] [Human Killer]
Mafia Artes:
[Fuggedabout it]
Spells:
None
"Kamiko, I gotta go!" I said, "Wanda is in trouble, and as a man, I'm determined to solve her problems whether she asks for it or not."
"H-Hiro-san, you're a jerk!" she whined, "I hope this time it will be you who pays for your faithlessness!"
"Okay, un-Moshi Moshi," I said, giving the standard phone farewell and hanging up the CODEC. I leapt off of the grind, doing a triple back-flip+Christ Air+720 as I fell. With my skateboard in one hand, and my Katana in the other hand, I activated my [Surprising Slash] as well as all of my magic Skills, to cast [Blaze Ollie - Lvl 10].
I whirled extra as I landed, slashing the thug several times in one swipe and incinerating him to a crisp as fire exploded from the wheels of my skateboard once they made contact with the ground.
"I have cut a useless thing," I said all cool-like, reloading my katana into its sheath.
"Wan! That was super-cool, master!" Wanda exclaimed, casually robbing the corpse of the dead thug.
"Arigato very much," I said, bowing to her and to the townsfolk who had gathered around to clap at my cleaning up of the streets by splattering criminal blood everywhere. My stomach growled again, and I looked up to see that we were right outside of a restaurant! How lucky!
The sign said that it was called "The Lucky Duck", and it was a large building, made out of wood and other materials.
"Yum," I said (about the food, not the building itself, which was inedible). "I'm starving! Let's go get some food!"
We walked into the building, and immediately the smell of food dropkicked our nostrils. However, I reeled back in horror, because the food smelled... b-b-bad?!
I hesitated. What kind of kick-ass gamelike LitRPG fantasy world would have food that wasn't also delicious and cool, especially the type that conferred stat bonuses. I was hesitant to say the least.
However, as I looked around, I realized that these Isekai people were basically primitive savages, who had never heard of Japan and had probably never even tasted any good food ever. Still... I would at least try some of the food.
I sat down at the table, and ordered a plate of food. Immediately, they brought out a steak. I went to take a bite of the steak, and immediately realized something was wrong with it! It was practically raw! I immediately fed it to Wanda, and called out the waitress.
"Are you trying to kill me?" I asked, paranoia creeping up the back of my neck as I realized that maybe they were trying to kill me.
"What do you mean, sir?" she asked me back, "All of our steaks are served medium rare."
I reeled back in horror. This wasn't an accident! These poor Isekai dirtworlders have never even seen a proper steak before! I was shocked. I had to remedy this right away!
I glanced over at Wanda, who had produced a little bag of sugar and was spreading some out on the table, probably to get the nasty taste of that steak out of her mouth.
"Wanda, I'm going to go teach the cook how to cook," I explained.
"Okay~ Wan!" she replied cheerfully, mixing her sugar around with the back of her steak knife. She turned to the waitress and flashed a fang-filled smile. "Could I have a clean straw, Wan?"
I smiled at her and gave her a headpat for good manners, before heading into the kitchen. This wouldn't do at all! I'd have to make sure to spread the cooking wisdom of another world to these lucky chefs!
I burst through the kitchen doors, and immediately located the chef by finding the person with the largest hat and the most tattoos. He was busy cooking a steak. I had arrived just in the nick of time!
"You're cooking your steaks wrong!" I informed him.
He took one look at me and laughed, going back to his work. "There's no way I could ever do anything wrong!" He said, "You're just a liar and a bastard."
This guy! I'd have to show him!
"I'll prove it to you," I said, gesturing to the deep-fryer they were cooking their steaks in.
"I'll show you the true power of modern cuisine!"
He growled, but then looked out into the dining room, where Wanda was huddled over the table, probably crying over how bad the steak was. He licked his lips and grinned a smile at me, dangerously, before replying.
"How about a wager, then? If you win, I'll admit that your steak is better... but if you lose, then I get your [Slave] out there, because I'm evil and stuff."
I gasped externally. He wanted.... Wanda? If I lost the competition? I wasn't sure whether I could still go through with it. I mean, it was really just a steak, was it worth wagering the life of my only companion so far? What would I even stand to gain, besides reassuring my extremely fragile ego? Then again... that would only matter if I lost, which I knew that I wouldn't.
"You're on!" I said, out loud.