That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:
Challenge 1.51 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and heard a call to action
I walked into the back office of the [Adventurer's Guild], nervously folding my clothes and putting them into a [Dimension Box]. My chest was pounding violently. I couldn't believe what was about to happen, specifically, sex with three girls. I knew that I'd impressed the receptionist, but I didn't know that she'd react like this. Maybe I should murder guys more often!
I looked around the room, blinking a bit in disappointment. I'd expected a bit more from the room she was taking me to for a tryst. There were no mirrors on the ceiling, no cold champagne on ice, no rotating and/or heart-shaped beds. There wasn't even a bed, come to that. It was just an ordinary office.
I guess if she wanted to do this and that in an office, it had a sort of ecchi appeal (TL Note: ecchi means H). But, this office wasn't even remotely sexy! It was a pretty big office, but that was counteracted by the filing cabinets, stacks of paper and rolls of parchment, decorative spikes, and boxes stacked on the edges of the room. There was barely enough room to walk to the desk, and the desk itself was also full of stuff!
I guess maybe she'd clear the desk of everything in a fit of passion, but I'd taken my shoes off, too, and stepping on a thumbtack didn't seem like it'd be very fun. Not to mention the decor! There was a dragon head mounted on one wall, which... okay, that was rad as fuck, but the rest of the office was filled with motivational posters and landscape paintings. Plus, there was even an old buff guy in the corner, looking out a window at the city.
Could I really have my first time in a place like this? A messy, stuffy office with some old dude in the corner, and a dragon head judging me on technique, creativity, and adherence to the theme?
The answer was "yes, obviously, I'm very desperate," but still! I'd much rather my first time be somewhere nice, you know?!
The receptionist walked in behind me as I shuffled to one of the few open pieces of floor in the office.
"The [Guildmaster] had wanted to talk to- aaaand, you're naked."
The receptionist turned away and leaned on a counter, probably to compose herself and try to stifle her raging hormones. Wanda and Bonbon walked in after her, turning to look at me. Bonbon immediately turned red and whirled to face away from me, while Wanda folded her arms and looked me up and down like an art critic inspecting a can of soup glued upside-down to a pedestal.
"Hi-Hiro-san! What the salt are you doing?" Bonbon demanded, turning her head just enough to make it clear that she was addressing me, but not enough to actually see me.
"Huh?" I asked, confused. It was pretty obvious what I was doing, wasn't it? I mean, what other reason could the receptionist have for inviting three Adventurers into the back office of the [Adventurer's Guild] if not to have tons and tons of them-on-me action?
"Impressive, wan." Wanda said at last, giving me a thumbs up. "Very nice."
"Great..." the receptionist said quietly, breathing heavily and gritting her teeth in frustration (probably sexual). "[Guildmaster]!" she continued, raising her voice and turning to the old guy. "The new [Gold Rank], here to see you."
"Thank you, Patricia. That'll be all," a gruff, no-nonsense voice said. I could hear the [Guildmaster]'s thick mustache before I could even see it.
"Thank Kamiko," the receptionist muttered, quickly hurrying out of the room and slamming the door shut. I watched her go, blinking in confusion. I looked at Bonbon, who had calmed down a bit, but was pointedly not looking at me, and at Wanda, who was sitting on a stack of paper, staring at me for some reason and eating a slice of pizza.
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The... receptionist left? And we were actually here to see this old guy? I... I couldn't believe it! I'd been catfished! How could this have happened?!
Unfolding his arms from behind his back, old man turned and took two mighty steps to his desk, lifting barrel-like legs over the stacks of paper, cargo shorts straining against his massive quatroceps and glutens, or whatever they were called. He was wearing a button-up dress shirt made of fine chainmail, with a mythril tie.
"Thank you for coming in," he told us, planting two massive barrel-like hands on the desk. He looked at me, his authoritative eyes instantly bringing back memories of every schoolteacher I'd had. He twitched his mustache, which was exactly as thick and bushy as it had sounded, and flicked his eyes down, once.
"Son," he asked, "Do you want to explain to me why you're standing stark-ass naked in my office?"
I felt a surge of something unavoidable rushing over me,and quickly activated [Shame Invulnerability] to bury the feelings deep inside. Phew! That'd been close. I'd almost felt regret at my past actions! I didn't have time for that, I needed to come up with an excuse!
"I... was hot," I lied.
He stared me down, unblinking.
"You were hot," he repeated. I nodded to confirm.
"You were hot, so you took off all of your clothes in my office?"
I wasn't sure how to respond. A [Guildmaster] sounded like it might be somebody pretty important, so I didn't want to risk saying the wrong thing and potentially upsetting him enough that I'd have to kill him in self-defense. I might lose [Gold Rank] if that happened, and that'd put a huge dent in my plans!
He stared me in the eyes. Sweat began to roll down the back of my neck as he bored a hole into my very soul. Silence fell over the room, broken only by Wanda's ravenous chewing and biting of pizza, along with her various incoherent animal noises that she whispered as she ate.
Finally, the old man nodded, his eyes brightening into a smile.
"Son... I like the cut of your jib. That's a capital idea."
He flexed his pecs and all of his clothes exploded into tatters of cloth and steel shrapnel, leaving only his tie. I was suddenly immensely thankful for the piles of objects on the desk.
"This office does get too damn stuffy, if you ask me. I've told Priscilla to get the damn cold runes fixed, but you know how it is with finding good help."
I nodded fervently, earning me a dirty look from Wanda and Bonbon for some reason.
"Anyways, I didn't ask you in here just to talk about the weather."
He shifted a few items on the desk, and I moved a half-step to ensure my sanity was protected. Wanda leaned to the side, chewing her pizza, before nodding for some reason.
"You beat one of the [Elite Four], unless Pamela's become a liar overnight. That means you're pretty damn powerful." He glanced up from his work without moving his head, giving me a meaningful look. "And that means you're useful."
"X." I said.
He frowned at me, and so I repeated myself. "X."
"What?"
"Wan, it means he wants to skip ahead," Wanda explained, for the [Guildmaster]'s benefit. I reached over to pat her on the head as a reward. The Guildmaster chuckled, pounding his fist on a stack of paper.
"A man of few words. I can respect it. Fine, I'll cut right to the chase then. I got a job for you."
I furrowed my brow. A job? I hated jobs. What was the point of bringing me all the way back into this office and stripping me down just to put me to work? I opened my mouth to tell him off.
"Pays well," he added, shutting my mouth. I did like money and other rewards. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we heard him out.
"Paula told me that you three were heading to the Royal Capital."
"That's right," Bonbon told the wall, still averting her eyes from either of us. "We have something important we urgently need to tell the King."
I smiled and nodded, glad that Bonbon knew how urgently I needed to get a princess in my harem.
"That's what I thought," the [Guildmaster] replied. "Well, this job is on the way there. There's a temple of the Kamikorps Order a few dozen miles from here, near the shore. They've been under attack by some of those filthy barbarians. Intel suggests that there's an [Elite Four] stirring them up."
He pointed at me with one short, barrel-like finger. "You're the first person to successfully kill one of the [Elite Four] in the last 3 years."
I scratched my cheek, beaming in the praise, but still acting stoic since he was ultimately asking me to run some errand.
"Well, that sounds rough, but I'm kind of in a hurry. Maybe I can check it out on the way back, or never," I suggested.
The [Guildmaster] shrugged. "Well, alright. I'm not about to shanghai you into doing what you don't want."
He turned and reached for a small white bird sitting on a perch. He picked it up in a closed fist and started to lift it, shaking his head.
"Damn shame. I'll tell them that we'll have to find somebody else to help out the All-Female Paladin Order."
"Find somebody?" I asked, taking a triumphant pose with one leg on the desk. I leaned towards him, grinning a smile as visions of hot ladies in armor swam through my head.
"I'm right here, aren't I? If I don't help them, who will? That's what it means to be a [Hero]."
The [Guildmaster] gave me a knowing smile and a slow nod, hanging the bird back up.
"Let me get you the details..." he told me, reaching for a barrel full of scrolls.