That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not
Stream 2.19 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and met God's Biggest Fan
After a few laps of the Kamikist Temple, I eventually discovered a large multipurpose room, where most of the [Paladins] had gathered, along with a few robed nondescript NPCs, who probably did the boring tasks that Paladins didn't want to do. The room was full of wooden benches, filled to the brim with the bodies of [Paladins], all of whom were facing the stage.
There was a giant display currently on the stage, clearly magical in nature. Its smooth surface rippled and undulated slowly, shimmering as if it were some kind of liquid crystal. I debated briefly how much it might be worth, but decided that my magpie-like tendencies would get me nowhere.
I could always steal it after Wanda was released from prison, if I still wanted to.
I scanned the room using my eyes and [Elf Detection] to find Bonbon and Ciel, seated near the front. Huh? I was glad they'd made it. When I realized after my second lap of the entire temple that the two of them weren't following me, I got a little worried that they might have gotten lost. Still, I was several times faster than them, so I impressed that they'd somehow arrived before me!
I activated [3D Maneuvering] and levitated past most of the crowd towards the two hot girls, when suddenly, realization struck me like a crook in a dark alley. T-they were seated at the front, when I preferred to sit at the back of theaters, where it was more quiet and I didn't have to crane my neck.
N-no, wait! Even worse than that, the realization struck again, like crook in a dark alley when he finds out you have nothing in your pockets but fresh spaghetti you were saving for dinner. They had lovingly saved a spot for me to sit down... but it was b-b-b-between them!
I broke out in a cold sweat. Could I really sit between two hot girls?! Moreover, these benches were pretty packed! If I sat there, then w-we might touch! Our arms would probably touch, and m-maybe even our l-legs. I shook like a pet dog who'd just come out of his bath in the dishwasher. T-this was my most frightening battle to date. Could I, a kissless virgin, really sit down in a completely platonic manner next to two hot anime babes, knowing full well that it would put me in such close proximity to their bodies in general?
N-no! I haven't come this far just to die here! I clenched myself, thinking back on the wise words of my mentor, Dick Bastardly, the [Slave Tycoon].
"Huh? Kid, if you're thinking about the 'tits on the inside' quote, that has nothing to do with this situation."
I nodded wisely. Heh... I don't recall him ever saying that, actually. I quickly checked my status (using [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)], to make sure I wasn't [Schizophrenic]. I let out a sigh of relief when I found that I didn't have that [Skill] yet. I guess that had just been that 'imagination' thing people were talking about recently. But none of this really mattered! What really mattered was sitting on that bench, and doing my best not to make an utter fool of myself.
"L...looks like I'll have to use... that." I said, out loud, before activating my most potent secret ability to date: [Discomfort Invulnerability]. I couldn't help but grin a smile. With this one trick under my belt, I would be able to sit next to any number of hot busty anime girls without feeling awkward. Secure in my newfound invincibility, I swooced right down into the spot Bonbon and Ciel had saved for me.
Bonbon let out a yelp of surprise, jumping as I slammed ass-first onto the bench. She turned and gave me an affronted look, as if it were somehow my fault she hadn't been expecting me to slam down from the sky next to her. I gave her headpats to reassure her, and was surprised to find that she either chose not to, or was unable to dodge away from me.
An electric shot went through me as I made contact with her hair, sending my heart racing. W-wait a minute... If I gave headpats, I was t-t-t-touching a girl?! I wasn't sure why I hadn't realized it yet. Maybe it was because the only other girl I'd given headpats to was Wanda, and she was a dog. Giving a dog headpats was pretty normal. But this... I gulped. I was acutely aware of the softness of her hair, and the warmth of her head. I could feel every strand of hair as she gently lifted her hand and pushed my arm away.
"H...Hiro-san, please don't pat me on the head. I don't know why you keep doing it, b-but please..."
I listened to the first part of what she was saying, and couldn't help but agree. She hadn't done anything patworthy. I needed to rein it in on the unnecessary headpats, otherwise it'd diminish their value. P-plus, that brief contact with Bonbon's head had revealed to me something extremely worrying...
It looked like... [Discomfort Invulnerability] only worked on physical discomfort. I coughed up blood as the Stress damage caught up to me.
"H-Hiro-san?!" Bonbon shrieked, making a big deal out of it for some reason. I waved her off, wiping away the blood with the cape of a [Paladin] who was passing by with a bag of popcorn.
"I'm daijoubu," I told her (TL Note: Diajoubu means peachy-keen). "B-but more importantly. What is this 'Divine Visitation' thing anyways?"
I turned towards Ciel, hoping she might provide an explanation. She tilted her head towards me, without looking away from the display on the stage. She had changed her clothes in the time when we'd been apart. She had some kind of headband on, which had a replica of Kamiko's 4-dimensional crown attached to the top via a spring. She was wearing a long cloak, which had a drawing of Kamiko in a magical girl outfit on the back, making a heart with her fingers. A beam was blasting from the heart and shooting through a demonic-looking silhouette.
"Huh?" she asked, distracted.
"I've never been to one of these before. What's it all about?"
She turned to look at me, shocked. "Wait, never? You've really never been to one?"
I shook my head. I'd only been in this world for like a week or so. Even before I'd reincarnated, I usually only left the house for school or for wicked skateboarding sessions. Public gatherings weren't really my thing, after all. I was just too cool of a Lone Wolf, and definitely not socially anxious.
I realized she was making direct eye contact with me, and her eyes were sparkling with excitement.
"Y-you too," I stammered, forgetting what the previous flow of conversation had been, and defaulting to a safe bet.
"Oh man!" Ciel exclaimed, clenching some glowsticks in her hands. "This is great! You're gonna love it, man! Kamiko-chama's gonna be continuing her "Divine Design" series. She was gonna do it last week too, but she hadda reschedule, cause she was busy, y'know? I mean, I was disappointed, but that's the kinda thing you gotta accept! She's a God, right? Ya gotta consider her wellbeing most of all, right? So uh, anyways, uhh... right! The Divine Design. She's working on her new Forme, right? So for the Divine Debutante she had a whole theme planned for 'snowfall', cause that's what the poll she took, uh said. I mean, actually it said somethin' else, but y'know, sometimes you gotta just ignore it when um..."
Ciel took a deep breath, blushing a bit. "Heh..." She scratched the back of her neck. "Uh, sorry bout that. I tend t'get a little excited sometimes. Uh... did you follow all that?"
"Yes," I lied. I glanced at Bonbon to see if she'd understood, or if it was safe to admit I had no fucking clue what Ciel was talking about. Bonbon must have somehow been able to read my mind, or the panicked expression on my face, because she just sighed.
"A Divine Visitation is when a God or Goddess descends in an Astral Projection to speak directly to their devotees. Most of the Gods do them at least occasionally." She shifted and preened a bit. "Flavos usually held two to three a year, where he would reveal new recipes directly to us. I've attended all of them for the last three years."
Ciel let out a tiny, subtle 'pff' of superiority which I only detected with my [Expert Hearing] skill.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
"Oh, yeah. Flavos is pretty good. Most of the Consorts only project once in a blue moon, but y'know, I'm sure they're busy with other stuff too. The Subordinates do most of the projecting. I try to catch as many as I can, but, y'know, Kamiko is really the best! Even though she's the Holy Scion, she still does weekly Visitations! I mean, ain't that just the coolest? I mean, she's gotta cancel every now and then, but that's okay! Almost every week, she's makin' time for everyone. It just shows how much she cares about us, y'know? Anyways, uh, I'm really lookin' forward to today's Visitation! The Formes she comes up with are all really unique, though of course the Divine Brat Forme is the best, I mean, you can't go wrong with the classics, right? And, I had some of these, uh, y'know, well I mean, some things I drew up. I'm not really that great, but..."
I nodded silently to myself as Ciel rambled on in a frankly terrifying manner.
"S-such power," I managed to gasp, but thankfully it was swallowed up in the noise of the crowd. I was about to figure out which leg I'd need to gnaw off to get away from Ciel's polite conversation, when suddenly the lights dimmed. I stood up at once.
"Is this the work of an enemy's [Skill]?!" I gasped, manifesting an Energy Katana.
"Shh!" Ciel hissed, gently smacking me over the back of the head with her mace. The impact shot through my head, causing me to bite my tongue and spit blood. D-damn it! I'd forgotten to get [Tsukkomi Resistance]! Her attack went straight through my [Absolute Invulnerabilty]! (TL Note: See Post-Chapter Author Notes). My head still reeling, she hauled me back into my seat.
"It's starting!" She said, vibrating slightly as her eyes literally glowed with excitement. I turned and let out a gasp of surprise. The liquid crystal screen had changed! It was no longer black, but was now displaying a screen with a countdown, and a cute, chibi picture of Kamiko in a repairman's overalls, hitting a tiny temple with a toy hammer in a two-frame animation. A large banner across the top of the screen said "Starting Soon..."
To the left, I could see a strange set of messages, almost like a chat log. This all seemed... familiar somehow. From nowhere, trumpets and a heavenly choir began to sound, accompanied by a synth and a cyber-xylophone. I recognized the tune at once.
"Huh... that's Kamiko's ringtone," I mused. That was nostalgic! I still remember the time the ScholarBot threatened to surgically extract her CODEC when it kept going off in class. She'd been crying about it for the entire Lunch period.
I chuckled to myself, and noticed that Ciel had fallen entirely silent, staring enraptured at the scene. Wow. Whatever this was gonna be, it must have been pretty exciting. I noticed most of the other [Paladins] were also watching in enraptured silence. A few were bowing their heads, though, their hands clasped together in prayer.
I turned my attention back to the front, trying to read the chat, but it was going by way too fast. The timer slowly ticked down, until it finally hit zero, then stayed at zero for a good minute or so. I was about to comment on how it was less interesting than I expected, before Kamiko's voice suddenly rang out, filling the room.
"Pa-pa-raaaannn~" she trilled, her voice high and excited. "Feel the liberating contact with the Divine!"
Spectral confetti rained down upon the multipurpose room, causing a cheer to ring out. A 4-dimensional vortex appeared, manifesting into Kamiko's crown, before Kamiko herself appeared in a flash of light.
"The Divine Brat appears in all her glory~! Ja-jaaaan! Hello! Welcome, welcome, everybody!"
She hovered over the stage, a magical hologram 12 feet high, wearing the iconic elementary school uniform that she'd worn every day when we'd gone to school together. She was a hologram, but with bright, realistic colors, and a surprising solidness to her appearance. Back in my world, Holos usually only had washed-out color, or even just a monochrome display, unless you sprung for the Deluxe Package. The lifelike appearance made me strangely nostalgic. I smiled despite myself, as she waved to her adoring believers. I guess I'd seen her in person only a few days ago, but it was still weird seeing Kamiko as a Holo, live in front of me. It was kinda like seeing your friends on the news, I guess.
"We've got a big Visitation planned today, everybody! Oh, thank you for the Tithe, Father Mohegan. 'Kamiko, I love you <3!' I love you too, Father Mohegan! Mmmwah!" She blew a kiss to the air, sending a cartoon heart blasting out with the force of a thousand suns.
"I know that you're all excited to jump right into the Divine Design, all my little Kamikists, but I do have an important announcement I wanted to get to first! It's a really big one! You guys are all gonna be super excited! Pachi pachi pachi!"
She made clapping onomatopoeia as she literally clapped, cutely closing her infinite eyes as she cocked her head in a cute smile.
"Buuut, before I get to that, let's read through all the Tithes and Devotions, okaaaaay~?"
Her eyewheels shifted around her head, focusing to the chat on the side.
"Umm, let's see... Sister Maria, thank you for the 100 gold! 'Flower Hairband! Flower Hairband!'" she read. "Yeah, maybe! I mean, we'll see what goes together, but I bet a flower headband would be really cute! Brother Ulric Firebrand. Thank you for the Tier-2 Devotion!"
Huh. This seemed. Really familiar, somehow. I didn't know much about religion, but I don't think most of them worked much like this back on my world. Then again, I guess this kinda simplified the process.
"Patronius Clawminster, thank you for the 75 gold Tithe! 'Bring back Prince Keening'? I will! I have more Storytimes planned soon, okay? You just gotta be patient. Mwwah!"
I glanced at Bonbon, who didn't seem particularly disturbed by the events. Was this... regular for most Gods? I nodded to myself, redoubling my urge to become a God. This seemed like a pretty cushy deal! I glanced over at Ciel, who had her eyes screwed shut, and was praying intensely.
"Ciel Pareiso! Thank you for the 10 Gift Devotions! Wow! 'Kamiko-chama, <3 <3 <3 You're the best!' No, YOU'RE the best!" Kamiko replied, thrusting her finger forwards, in the general half of the room that Ciel was in.
Ciel's eyes popped open, her face turning a deep scarlet as she vibrated in her chair. Her hands were digging into her chainmail leggings, the glowsticks snapped in half. She whipped around to face me as Kamiko continued reading. Her eyes were sparkling, shimmering like a sky full of stars. She was panting heavily and visibly shaking, either out of religious fervor, because she was a pervert, or both.
"H-Hiro-kun! Bon-chan! Did you see that? S-she said my name!"
"She said you're the best!" Bonbon said, in the same encouraging way one addresses an excited child.
"EEEEEEEEEE~" Ciel squealed, clenching her eyes shut and clasping her hands on the side of her face as she wriggled.
"The best~<3" Ciel muttered, still shaking and bright red. I smiled as I watched her. It was both adorable, and frankly kind of disturbing. Is this what they call 'gap moe'? (TL Note: Kinda, but not in the way Hiro is thinking). After a few minutes, Ciel slowly came down from her high, and Kamiko wrapped up reading off her offerings.
"Alright, thank you again everybody! Now then! Like I said, I had something important to share with you all! This is big news, okay? Lorekeepers, get ready to record this! Are you ready? Ahh, I already know you're ready, huh? Okay, here we go: Ahem, ahem!"
She cleared her throat, as a hush fell over the crowd. Ciel was on the edge of her seat, staring intently at Kamiko as a dramatic spotlight appeared around the Goddess.
Kamiko closed her eyes, and opened them again, her eyewheels beginning to spin so quickly that the eyes seemed to not move at all. She manifested her flaming sword and held it up as she spoke, her voice reverberating with a bass filter that caused the stained-glass windows to tremble.
"HEAR ME, AND KNOW MY WORDS AS TRUTH. I, THE SCION OF YGGDRISIA, THE KEEPER OF THE TRUTH, THE PRINCESS OF THE WORD AND LAW, DO SPEAK. HEED THE WORDS OF THE..."
She hesitated, stumbling a bit as her chat filled up with people spamming "THE DIVINE BRAT" as soon as she started listing her various Chuuni-sounding titles.
"THE... GUYS! Knock it off, this is serious, okay?"
"Oh..." I said, as she chastised her followers. "This is probably about Wanda, huh? Nice."
Ciel turned and glared at me. "There's no way that Kamiko herself is gonna pardon Wanda-chan, Hiro-kun. These announcements are only for really important things! She's..." Ciel gasped. "I wonder if she's gonna do another live concert!"
I scratched the side of my cheek. Maybe she was right, but still. I'd gone to the trouble of asking Kamiko to do a favor for me, so I really hope she wasn't about to forget it.
"Okay? Okay, everybody? This is important!" Kamiko pouted.
The chat was replaced with sad faces and even more "THE DIVINE BRAT" as she shook her head. "Geez!" She cleared her throat and began speaking in her cool voice again.
"HEED THE WORDS OF THE GODDESS KAMIKO:"
She smiled, spreading her arms wide as a glow of divine radiance appeared behind her.
"THE DEMON LORD HAS BLIGHTED THESE LANDS UNCONTESTED FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS! NO FORCE OR KINGDOM HAS BEEN ABLE TO OPPOSE HIM. HE HAS SPREAD MISERY, PAIN, AND FEAR THROUGHOUT ALL STRETCHES OF THE WORLD!"
Kamiko shook her head sadly, to show that this wasn't the good part of the news.
"BUT REJOICE!" she continued. "THE TIME OF PROPHECY IS AT HAND! I SAY TO YOU ON THIS DAY:"
She leaned forwards, her Holo growing larger as it zoomed in on her face. The crowd leaned forwards as well, literally on the edge of their seats as they hung on every word.
"THE DESCENT OF THE [LEGENDARY HERO] HAS BEEN CONFIRMED."
A ripple of shock went through the crowd, completely stilling all the quiet murmurs that had been happening between friends. Seconds of silence followed, before it was broken by shouts and loud murmuring. Several [Paladins] stood from their benches, others broke into tears, and some others fell to their knees in prayer. Ciel-san did all three.
"I HAVE CONFIRMED THAT THE REINCARNATION OF THE [LEGENDARY HERO] HAS COME TO THE WORLD! THE ONE DESTINED TO DEFEAT THE DEMON LORD, AND RESTORE PEACE!"
I nodded to myself, frowning slightly. That seemed... totally badass! Even if I didn't really want to fight the Demon Lord that bad, being a [Legendary Hero] sounded cool as hell. I wasn't sure who this guy was, but I wondered if I'd inherit his title if I kicked his ass. I turned to remark to Bonbon, and was surprised to see that she was also pale, her fingers digging into her right thigh.
Huh? Was this a big deal to people who mattered, and not just religious fangirls? I furrowed my brow, looking back to the stage.
"THE [LEGENDARY HERO] HAS BEEN FOUND... AND HE IS HERE AMONG US, IN ONE OF MY TEMPLES!"
I stood up to get a better view of the temple in case it was this one. That bastard was about to be surprised with a free ass-kicking if it was. I hadn't expected things to be this easy. I'd figured I'd have to go tracking him down in a hilarious sidequest.
"BEHOLD, THE REINCARNATION OF THE ASCENDED HERO, THE [LEGENDARY HERO]:
HIRO ♥ PROTAGONIST!"
Suddenly, a spotlight appeared over me, pitching the rest of the room into relative darkness. I blinked in surprise at her announcement.
"H-huh?"
W-w-what the hell?! It was me?!