That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not
Parley 2.35 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and came to a disturbing revelation
I reeled back in shock from the ghost pirate's pronouncement, my mind spinning for several seconds before I realized that what he'd said was totally stupid.
"I'm definitely not a ghost," I told him. "I'm a real human being. And a real [Hero]!"
"Do ye mother know ye be a ghost?" he asked, stroking his chin.
"No," I replied. "She-"
!!!
W-wait a minute. I'd fallen right into his logical trap. I covered my mouth with my hand, staring thousand-yardedly into the railing of his ship as I held onto it to support my weight. Was... it true? Was I actually a ghost?
I turned to look at him to find that he was stabbing me uselessly in the back while I had let my guard down. When he realized that I noticed him, he quickly backed away, waving at me with a sheepish grin, hiding his ghostly blade behind his back. I felt like there was a good opportunity there for some kind of slapstick bit, but I was too worried about the thing he'd said to bite that dangling hook.
"Theoretically..." I began, "how would I tell if I were a ghost?"
He nodded sagely. "Well... the biggest hint would be: Have ye died before?"
I scoffed, rolling my eyes. What kind of a question was that? I was standing here talking to him, wasn't I? Of course I hadn't... died....
Wait a minute. A chill went up the back of my neck as my heart thumped in my ears. I... I had died, hadn't I? In fact, hadn't I died twice now? I had assumed that I'd had some kind of crazy cool reincarnation, since that was more or less what Kamiko had told me had happened, but what if... what if that wasn't the case? What if I really was...
I shook off that thought, and gave the ghost pirate a slow, cautious nod. "I... maybe I died a bit, but just as a hobby, not professionally." I confessed.
"Mmmm-hmm," he replied, nodding as if he was beginning to understand. "Of course ye have. Another hint... can ye walk through solid objects?"
I glanced at the big stick in the middle of the ship, the one that held up the big blankets that made the ship move. That looked pretty solid, didn't it? It'd work for a test. I walked over to it, and bumped into it, turning to look at the ghost.
"Ye can touch objects as a ghost, if ye be a particularly strong one. But can ye perhaps activate a ghostly skill, and walk through anyways?"
A... skill? Was that how ghosts work? I mean, that's what he was telling me, to my face, but I'm pretty sure ghosts existed on Neo-Shinjuku too, otherwise how would the government be able to see inside people's houses. And I was pretty sure that there weren't any skills in Neo-Shinjuku. Still... a skill that lets me walk through walls...
O-oh no! My throat tightened up and I activated [Noclip], walking through the mast without any issues. This... this couldn't be true. I quickly turned to Ghostbeard, reaching out to grab the lapels of his coat. My hands went right through him, so I just clenched my fists and held them in roughly the position of his lapels to maintain the effect.
"Tell me, spirit!" I demanded, starting to panic. "There has to be some third sign... something which I can prove I'm not actually a ghost!"
"The third ghost-sign..." he mused. "Well... ye are correct. There do be a third. Ghosts can fly, and can become invisible. Can ye do either of those?"
"N-no..." I muttered, activating my [Flying] and [Invisiblity] skills. I floated up into the air, as invisible as a ghost. "T-this can't be true."
"I'm sorry, laddie..." Ghostbeard said, shaking his head sadly. "Ye may not want it to be like it is, but it do."
I deactivated my [Invisibility] and floated in mid-air, clutching my head in a fetal position as existential dread settled over me. This was... this was complete and total nonsense. It had to be. And yet... I couldn't deny his words. As much as it seemed like something ridiculous, it was true. The signs were all there. I could walk through walls, disappear, and fly. I was way more unique than the other guys: I was a ghost! D-damn it...
"Noooo..." I moaned. I don't want to be a ghost! There has to be something I can do! I started freaking out at once, my mind reeling as I floated and flailed through the air.
----------------------------------------
Wanda clutched at her bag of shark fins as she leapt from one roof, activating her [Parkour Basics] skill to tuck into a roll as she landed. Bonbon had to be around here somewhere. Wanda activated her [Drug Invulnerability], temporarily dropping the comforting fog provided by the handful of pills she had taken earlier, and thrusting herself back into horrifying Lucidity.
She couldn't hear Bonbon-san's iconic screeches of fear and anxiety. That could mean one of two things: either the elf had grown a bit and was handling life-or-death combat a lot better, or else she might already be dead. Wanda hoped it was the former. She'd grown a bit fond of the chef, and she wasn't 100% sure that Hiro had the ability to completely resurrect somebody else. The chef was... wait...
Wanda sniffed, using [Smell Like Dog] to sniff the air. She'd thought she smelled... there! Somebody was cooking, in the middle of the raid. Wanda knew that some people could sink to extreme depths of ignorance to their surroundings, but she kind of doubted somebody would remain unaware of this level of chaos. Plus, the food smelled delicious, unlike most of the food smells she'd detected when they first entered the village. Wanda followed the scent, signalling down to Ciel.
"This way, wan!" As she leapt, she felt a sudden click of experience transported to her from Hiro's [EXP Share] skill, and heard the Divine Word of the [World System] enter her head:
!!!~~~~~LEVEL UP~~~~~!!!
You are now Level 16!
5 Skill Points Gained!
Skill Gained: [Dismemberment Basics - Lvl 1]
Parkour Arte Gained: [Catfall]
Natural Weapon Arte Gained: [Extend Claws]
Nice! Leveling up always came with a nice endorphin rush. The numbers didn't really matter, especially when there were people like Hiro running around, but 'number go up' was always cathartic. Plus, these sharks seemed like good fodder. Dumb enough to be easy to defeat, but still skilled enough at fighting to be entertaining. A lot of elves were in trouble, but Wanda wasn't overly concerned with all of that. She felt bad for them in an ethical sense, but ultimately, their lives were only important to them. If they didn't want to be killed by sharks, they should have thought of that before they lived next to the ocean. Besides, in just a few hundred years, they'd be dead anyways. She could...
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Aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon
A hollow voice rang through her head, bifurcating her thoughts. It was soon joined by a discordant chorus of voices, speaking an undiscernible blend of nonsense and dark truth.
Wanda closed her eyes. Great. This bullshit again. She preferred to go through life blitzed out of her fucking head, because she only had another 53 years, 7 months, 1 week, 6 days, and 4 hours left in her normal lifespan, and she intended to make the most of it. Her life philosophy wasn't the only reason that she partook so heavily, however. Being high, stoned, crunked, faded, drunk, zonked, and/or tripping had more advantages beyond the obvious; they also served to keep her comfortably numb. With her [Drug Invulnerability], she could negate any of the negative side effects, and become lucid whenever she wanted. But Lucidity had its own issues. Like the voices...
thirteen ounces combined in a vessel at least 15 inches wide with five ounces titrate and heated until the reaction begins to occur
upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons ago, and shall continue for aeons upon aeons upon aeons
removing the spine with a pair of kitchen shears, and scoring the breastbone before pressing firmly on the bird's breastbone to crack it and spatchcock. Prepare blend of basil, oregano, paprika, salt
upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons
extended warranty. Please reach out to us when you receive this message, call us at 555 831-9031 to discuss
upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon
Richard Malbeth, Arrow from a raider, Six weeks, two days, five hours. Patricia Potters, Heart attack, twenty-nine years, two months, 1 week, 1 day, 2 hours. Galstar the Brave, Dysentery, six years
upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons upon aeons, until the last star dies out, and the the last Goddess departs.
the fizzing has completed. Bring the vessel to the sacrificial chamber and prepare the
Wanda grimaced, clenching her jaw to try to ignore the whispers. No good. They were really bad today. It seemed like things had been a lot more intense since she'd met Hiro. Considering what she'd recently found out, that made a certain amount of sense. But, it was nothing she couldn't deal with.
She deactivated her [Drug Invulnerability], closing her eyes as the haze of her substance abuse returned to her. Her Lucidity faded, and the voices along with it. Ahhh... Blessed silence. The true way to live: No thoughts, head empty. She leapt to the roof of the next house, enjoying the sea breeze as it rushed through her hair. Movement caught her eye.
"Wan!" she barked, spotting a shark attacking a pair of elves. She hopped down and activated her new Skills and Artes, all at once. [Catfall] let her land with a fraction of the impact, and she rushed forwards, using [Extend Claws] to grow her claws to eight inches long before bringing her hand down in a vicious swipe at the pirate's beefy arm. The claws dug into his shoulder, and she activated [Dismemberment Basics] to slice through, hacking the limb off entirely. It spun around to bite at her, and she stabbed it through the head, dropping it instantly.
"ENEMY SLAIN"
She gathered up the fin with another slash, and sprinted between the two houses in front of her, making her way towards the source of the smells. Bonbon cooking probably meant that she was safe. She did cook in combat, which was something Wanda was extremely impressed with, but for the smells to have so permeated the area, she must have been cooking for quite some time. Wanda turned the corner, and grinned a smile, relieved to see the elf chef in front of a roaring flame.
"Oh good, wan!" Wanda chirped. "You're alive!"
Bonbon glanced over at her, her face screwed up with concentration, and her forehead beaded with sweat. She had a heavy saucepot held in both hands, which she was holding over the bonfire. She shook the pot, shoving it forward and flipping it up and back to toss and mix its contents. A group of elves had gathered to watch her, most of them looking pretty beaten up. A few elves, even more injured, were laid on the sand nearby, as one elf in a bikini and a nurse's hat wrapped their wounds in seaweed.
Wanda started to drool. Not because of the seaweed, or the wounds, or the bikini nurse (although that was nice too), but because of the smell of whatever Bonbon was cooking. Based on the look and smell, it seemed to be some kind of spicy seafood stew. Wanda wiped away the drool from the corner of her mouth and activated her [Smell Like Dog] skill. Hmm... Mussel... Crab... some Shrimp... chunks of some kind of whitefish... and the effects...
She sniffed harder, paying close attention to the olfactory whispers of the [World System]. Hmm... HP restoration... or was it regen? Physical attribute boost of some kind... and... was that some kind of invigoration effect? Or a morale boost maybe? Regardless, Wanda wanted a bowl for herself, for the taste if nothing else.
Bonbon raised one hand as a signal, beckoning a line of elves forwards. They approached her, holding out wooden bowls and half-coconuts, which she expertly filled with the stew. Wanda was impressed at the efficiency with which Bonbon had organized the [Beach Elves]. Bonbon's casual racism aside, [Beach Elves] really weren't known for their structure. They were kind of like cats, and spent 75% of their day sleeping, sunbathing, playing beach sports, or surfing. Wanda could approve of the lifestyle, but it did make some things difficult.
One of the elves, growing weary of the imposed social order, stepped out of line and walked towards the pot. Bonbon yanked it out of his reach, bopping him on the snout with her ladle.
"No soup for you!" she shouted, gesturing him away. "Back of the line!"
The elf started to protest, but a sharp glare from the chef caused him to shrink like he'd been splashed with cold water. He slunk shamefully back to the end of the line, and Bonbon served a bowl of stew to the next elf.
The first few bowls were carried off and given to the most injured, who weren't able to stand in line themselves. Wanda watched as they ate. They seemed startled by the taste, and began to ravenously wolf down the stew. They didn't even slow down to de-shell the mussels or suck the meat from the crab, electing instead to just eat it shells and all. Wanda was impressed with their jaw strength, but was pretty sure this was not the correct way to consume the dish. Regardless, their wounds began to slowly knit back together as the restorative effects of the [Food] took place.
"Wanda-san," Bonbon finally greeted her, turning to look up as she ladled stew. "How is the fight going?"
Wanda wagged her tail, placing her hands on her hips. "Great, wan! Wanda killed lots of sharks!"
"That's um... well, I suppose that's good, yes." Bonbon replied. "I'm glad you're... having fun?"
Wanda nodded emphatically. "I got a buncha shark fins for you to cook up, too!"
This caused the elf chef to pause mid-ladle. The elf waiting to receive his soup whimpered quietly, but Bonbon was more focused on the dripping bag on Wanda's hip, which she had correctly guessed contained the aforementioned fins.
"Shark fin?" she asked. She bit her lip, eyes darting quickly back and forth as she worked through some kind of mental rolodex (TL Note: This means "thoughts and memories within her mind", rather than [Mental Rolodex], which is a skill that does the same thing except better and gamified)
"Shark fin..." she mused, before nodding. "Wanda-san... can I have those fins? They have a massive health regeneration boost, plus an SP boost, and they also..." she blushed slightly. "Well, the other effects aren't relevant now, but I think it'd help a lot in my stew, especially with the ingredient and cuisine synergy."
Wanda glanced down at the shark fin pouch. If she gave them to Bonbon now... she'd have to share them. Shark fin was a delicacy, and one she really doubted these beachcombers could appreciate. But... she looked up at Bonbon. But there were still plenty of other sharks out there to de-fin... and this would buy her a lot of capital with Bonbon, and... well, it'd help a lot of people and probably save lives, but that wasn't, y'know, important or anything.
"Okay, wan~" Wanda replied cheerily, handing the dripping bag over to Bonbon. The doggirl half-expected Bonbon to take it gingerly and grimace at the blood, but it looked like she was in full [Chef] mode, because she took it without hesitation and immediately opened it to start prepping the fins. Bonbon sat on a nearby driftwood bench, watching the elf go about her work.
"I'm... not great at fighting," Bonbon explained. "But I am good at cooking. No... I'm great at cooking. And if I can keep people alive and in the fight, I think this is probably the best place for me to be."
"Wan! Supports are important, wan!" Wanda agreed. "And don't worry, Bonbon-chan! With Hiro's [EXP Share], you won't even be missing out on levels, wan!"
Bonbon nodded guiltily. "Y-yeah... I actually leveled twice today..." she admitted.
"Indeed, wan!" Wanda smiled. "I'm fairly certain Hiro has some kind of EXP boost skill in addition to his [EXP Share]."
Wanda felt her EXP tick up again and frowned. Was that Hiro? Actually, wait a second, where was-
Ciel burst through the wall of a house, grunting with effort. She was tangled up with one of the shark pirates, who had its jaws clamped around her arm. Her Mojo was rippling, keeping its teeth an inch away from digging into her bare skin, but it was jerking and thrashing around in a way that was probably depleting her shields pretty quickly. Wanda watched enviously as the paladin slammed the shark into the sand, grabbing its snout with her free hand and forcefully dislocating its jaw with a loud CRACK. She had a pretty high Mojo herself, but she'd never had the proper training to manifest it so effectively. She'd have to make a point to ask Hiro to use that clothing change skill again to give her that sexy maid outfit the next time she got into a fight.
Ciel finished off the shark and stood up, turning to the pair. She noticed Bonbon cooking and looked around at the situation before smiling and flashing the elf a thumbs up.
"Whoah! Bon-chan, you set up a triage? Great thinking!"
She nodded approvingly, a smile on her face. She opened her mouth to speak, and a thought shot behind her eyes, causing her expression to change at once as she remember what she'd been about to say.
"Oh, right... guys, we might have a problem."
Wanda's ears (the dog ones, not the human ones) perked up at that. The sharks were a pretty standard level of threat. If there was a problem, then it'd probably have to be...
"Something's going on with Hiro," Ciel elaborated, confirming Wanda's worst fears.