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That One Isekai [My Only Cheat Skill is All of Them]
Volume 1, Ch. 21: That time I was resurrected into another world and speedran a culinary revolution

Volume 1, Ch. 21: That time I was resurrected into another world and speedran a culinary revolution

That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:

Volume 1, Ch. 21: That time I was resurrected into another world and speedran a culinary revolution

I cracked my knuckles and took a deep breath. This would be rough! I only had a few minutes to become a [Culinary God], and these Isekai Dirtworlders had too many problems for me to count! I glanced over at one of the cooks, who was busy making an omelette, mashing the whole eggs into a bowl and crushing the shells with a fork before pouring the entire mess into a pan. What a mess! He hadn't even buttered the pan first.

I shook my head. Looks like I'd have to work quickly. If I took too long, then... I'd probably get bored and wander off to do something else. I had to get that achievement before my fried dopamine receptors thwarted me!

"Alright!" I announced, "Everybody who wants my sage culinary advice should line up, so that I can fix all of your problems for you!"

A cheer went up through the crowd, and they began to sort themselves out. While they were doing that, I had a bit of business of my own to take care of. I went out to the garden, cutting a new hole in the wall because the old one was too far away. After a bit of searching, I found what I was looking for: soybeans! I uprooted the plant and shook the beans into a bowl, carrying them back into the kitchen.

Soybeans were one of the lynchpins of Japanese cuisine. While I didn't have enough time or attention span to completely replicate all of Japanese cuisine, I could still recreate one of their crowning achievements! But... it would require some fermentation time. I also recalled that fermentation needed germs, so I picked up a pinch of dirt from the ground and tossed it into the bowl as well. I prepped my creation, then set it into a [Trick or Treat Room] with a full-size Twixt Bar ("The delicious confection that's betwixt chocolate and sawdust!" New from McFodder). That should fit a month of time into the span of about 4 minutes. I'd have to work fast!

I turned from my setup to look about the room. There were a bunch of cooks at different points about the room, each with a handy numbered flag so that I knew which ones to go to first. I took a big nervous gulp. I hadn't expected to be so intimidated by the idea of teaching people with years more experience than me really basic recipes that I barely understood.

I shook my head, reassuring myself. Culinary technique wasn't something that developed by building on the skills of previous generations. It was something that just kind of happened arbitrarily. There was no way they'd have discovered the same things that every culture on Earth had kind of discovered independently of each other. I had this in the bag! I gave myself a high five, instantly regenerating my spriits.

I traveled to the first flag, and immediately activated [Montage Mastery], dramatically altering the format of the narrative.

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Flag 1:

Issue: "Help! My soup is super nasty!"

I walked over to the first cook, a nondescript man between the ages of 21 and 70. He scratched his red bandana and gestured to his pot.

"I dunno what the issue is!" He told me. "I've tried a couple of things, but nothing makes it taste better. I've added more ingredients, and added more water, but nothing seems to work!"

I stared down at the pot and noticed at once the problem. I chuckled to myself.

"You need to scoop off the scum!" I said, scooping the scum off the top of the pot with one swipe of my katana. "It's full of uh, electrolytes, and uh, polymers that make your food taste bad."

I frowned as I looked into the pot. Something else seemed wrong, but I had no fucking clue, so I activated [Godly Chef]. Instantly, the voice of Robo-Kamiko entered my head as the [World System] spoke to me directly.

{The stock is way too thin! They must have done a serious fucky-wucky @_@;;} she said.

I nodded to myself. "Your, uh, your stick is too thin," I explained. Our gazes both dipped down to his pants in shared confusion. The cook let out a long sigh.

"Be that as it may," he said, "but I dunno what that has to do with my soup being bland."

I cracked my neck and flexed my arms, happy at least that this was a problem I could solve. I reached out and tapped his shoulder, activating [Spear Extension (all natural supplement)]. There was a loud thud from the direction of down, but I was too busy not looking in that direction to see what had happened.

"I feel... invincible," he informed me, breathlessly. "I can do anything! I want to take risks and just act like a total dumbass!"

"Cool."

"In fact..." he said defiantly, staring down at his soup. "It makes me want to make soup without throwing out the water!"

I stared at him in confusion, and he elaborated.

"Oh, it's traditional to arbitrarily throw out the fucking water we cooked the food in after it's done cooking."

I stared at him in confusion, again. I didn't cook much back on Earth, but I was pretty sure that water was an integral part of soup.

"You see, you add in fresh water after, but there's still a tiny bit of water left in the pot from the first cooking, so you dilute the flavor of the soup, which actually enhances the nutrients and flavor of the soup, by the process of homeopat-"

"Don't do that," I replied.

"Okay."

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Flag 2:

Issue: "My meat is coming out burned on the outside, and raw on the inside!"

I came to the next cook, who was a palette-swapped, but otherwise identical copy of the first cook. He had started a fire in the corner of the kitchen, and was crouched over it. I was a bit worried about the open fire just set on the floor, but then realized that he'd made it in the smoking section of the restaurant.

"Look!" he cried, holding up a roast. The outside was charred and smoking, and he cracked it in half to show me the center, which was completely raw. "I cook my meat the same way everybody else does, but it doesn't come out right!"

"Ah, I think I know what you're doing wrong," I said. "Show me how you cook."

He nodded and tossed the meat directly into the fire. Geez, this guy! "This... is how everybody cooks their meat?" I asked, fear creeping into my voice.

He looked away, bashful, scuffing the dust with his foot.

"Well, no," he admitted, "They usually hold the meat near the fire, but... I don't have [Kitchen Hands], so I can't hold the meat for too long!"

He reached out with the other half of the meat and held it in his hands, close enough that the flame were licking at his knuckles. He let out a yelp of pain after a minute and drew his hands back, shaking them in pain.

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Hmm... This problem was a bit trickier to say the least.

"Have you tried..." I suggested, "getting good?"

He nodded sorrowfully, a lone tear running down his cheek from where his eyes probably should have been.

"Saaaa..." I sighed. "Don't worry. I'll figure something out."

I wandered into the kitchen, opening one of the cupboards to find a frying pan. I lifted it out and examined it. Looks like a normal steel pan. With a nod, I began tearing the pan into strips of metal with my bare hands, and set to work weaving them back together

After a few minutes, I'd created a makeshift meat hook, and a little tripod to hang it from.

"Here," I said, setting it up. "This can hold the meat for you! Just put it near the fire and hook the meat on the end."

He stared down in shock. "This... This will revolutionize the cooking world! We won't have to stand near the fire for the entire time anymore!"

"I know," I said, rubbing under my nose with the side of my finger in a display of knowing pride.

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Flag 3:

Issue: "I need help making my food more portable!"

The next cook was again identical to the other two, but had a newsboy cap on instead of a bandana. This must mean he was higher-leveled.

"I got a problem for you, Mr. Genius-san. I get a bunch of workers coming in here on their lunch break, and they want their food to go, but they never bring back the plates and forks."

He gestured to a platter, which was stacked with slices of bread and thin steaks of meat.

"Each plate gets two pieces of bread and a steak," he explained. "What do you think I should do?"

I scratched my head. This one was a little tougher.

"Maybe you could tie a string to the plates, then haul them back when the workers are done eating," I suggested. That's what they did back in my high school. It made lunch period very efficient.

"But the workers go all over the place!" he elaborated. "The strings would get all tangled up!"

Hmm... That was a problem. I stared down at the sliced bread and sliced meat, my brain grinding into overtime like a desperate salaryman playing an MMORPG.

Suddenly, inspiration struck! I reached out with one hand and scooped up the bread, and reached out with the other to scoop up the meat, before shuffling them together like a deck of cards.

"Ngh!" the cook commented, rearing back in shock and awe.

"I'll call it... 'Hiro Protagonist's Deluxe Meat and Bread Sandwiched Together to Carry It Easily On The Go'," I announced.

"I like it," the cook said with a grin, "But isn't that name kinda long?"

I nodded. "You're right. Just call it a Hiro."

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Flag 4

Issue: "Wan! I need some ideas on what to make with this butter!"

I came to the next flag and was surprised all at once. It was... Wanda? She wanted to cook too? I looked down at the chunk of butter she had, partially wrapped in some waxed paper. It looked... A little weird. It was a strange green color, and it had an odd smell to it.

Well... I shouldn't judge. There were probably tons of odd animals in this kickass litrpg fantasy Isekai world, and you could probably milk some or most of them. I checked the handwritten label on the package, which confirmed it for me. I wasn't sure what kind of animal a 'Canna' was, but I'm sure Canna Butter probably tastes just as good as regular butter.

Wanda tapped on the butter with one claw-tipped finger, looking me in the eyes.

"This is a particularly expensive product, so I'd prefer to make the most of it, wan. My own cooking acumen may leave something to be desired, but it is my hope that your otherworldly experience will serve to satisfy this desire, wan."

"What?"

"Wan! Master is good at cooking! Help me cook yummy foods!"

I chuckled and gave her a headpat in the affirmative. Something to make with butter... Something suitable for a cute slave waifu... Of course!

"This is called a brownie," I said, throwing together flour, sugar, eggs, and a bunch of other ingredients together. "We can add your butter to it instead of regular butter."

I mixed it together until a thick batter formed, then poured it into a baking dish. I threw the dish into the oven and gave her a nod. It would take the brownies a while to cook, so time to move on to the next flag!

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Flag 5

Issue: "I love soup, but this hurts!"

I came to the last flag, where a customer was sitting at a table with a big, steaming, bowl of soup. His right hand was covered in bandages, probably to seal the demonic power trapped inside of it.

He look up at me as I arrived, his eyes full of grief.

"I luv me some soup," he narrated, "but every time I try to eat it, I burn me hands!"

He demonstrated, cupping his left hand and dipping it into the piping hot bowl of soup. He raised a handful of soup to his lips, dripping hot broth everywhere, and slurped it down.

"All me and the lads got all kinds uv burns."

I looked around the dining room to see many such cases, customers with burns, welts, or bandages on one or both hands.

I nodded. "I naruhodo now," I replied sagely. "Don't worry, I have the perfect solution."

I quickly went back into the kitchen and cut another hole out of the wall, but this time, grabbed the chunk of wood I'd cut out before it despawned. I tossed it up into the air and swung my katana at it a thousand times in the blink of the eye, while simultaneously using [Instantly Learn Skill] to learn [Woodworking Basics].

I sent my katana back home into its sheath and activated all of my magic skills to cast [Wind - Lvl 10]. A gust of wind blew through all three of the kitchen wall-holes, sending bits of wood flying into the dining room.

I walked to the dining room door and grinned a smile as a wooden spoon landed on each customer's table.

"This is...?" A customer regarded the spoon cautiously, picking it up and sniffing it. They looked up at me. "What is this?"

"Heh," I hehed. "It's called a 'spoon'. You can see that there is a tiny bowl on the end of the stick. You can use this tiny bowl to pick up soup or other liquids, then deliver it directly to your mouth."

The customer looked down at the spoon, their eyes widening. "Then..." they dipped the spoon in their soup and stared in amazement as they lifted soup out of the bowl.

"Then this means... We don't have to use our hands anymore!"

Shouts and tears of joy spread throughout the restaurant as they celebrated. I nodded, proud of myself.

And now, there was only one flag left...

I deactivated [Montage Mastery] and walked to the last flag, where Bonbon A. Petit was scooping steamed rice into a bowl and handing it to a customer. My blood ran cold! My memories had just been sold?!

I opened my mouth to shout at her about stealing my stolen recipe, but then remembered that she was very hot and had big boobies. I simply sighed and shook my head, resigned.

"So, what's your problem, Bonbon-chan?" I asked.

Bonbon noticed my approach, smiling at me with both her lips and her ears.

"Oh, Hiro-sama!" she greeted me. "The rice is a huge hit! But... I just..."

She winced, clearly wanting to say something but not sure how to say it.

I casually signaled 'O.K.' in semaphore, urging her to go on.

"Well... It just seems like it's missing something, is all."

The camera zoomed in on an action panel of my eyes, glinting dangerously (the eyes, not the camera).

"You don't say..." I mused. "Well, it just so happens that you're right!"

I walked back over to the first bowl I had put out at the start of the chapter. Do you remember that one? No, don't scroll up, it was the one with the soybeans, that one.

I snapped my fingers, dismissing the [Trick or Treat Room]. I picked up the bowl and stared down at the contents as it sloshed a bit. I couldn't help but grin. Looks like it came out perfectly!

"I have here another example of fine Japanese cuisine, perhaps the best thing you can put on rice."

I held the bowl up and walked over to the elf waifu.

"This is a particularly saucy food made from soy. I call it:"

I tilted the bowl, dumping a small handful of gelatinous, sticky, fermented soybeans onto her rice.

"Natto!"

I [Instant Transmissioned] around the room, delivering a bowl of rice and natto to everybody. They began to dig in, and soon the room filled with light and sound, as everybody began different, extremely over-the-top reactions to the delicious flavor of the natto.

The kitchen began to rumble, as one cook turned into a rocket and began bouncing off the walls. A customer began to spew lasers from their eyes, cutting a scorching line through the ceiling.

Another literally exploded, bursting every window in the place, while another turned into a bird and flew out the window.

Hmm... This was the correct reaction, but I wasn't expecting it to be quite so literal. I quickly appraised the natto using my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill.

Natto

Level 99 Food

Effect: [Bestow Random Superpower]

Ah, of course. That made sense. I turned to Wanda, who was cooling her brownies on a rack, and yawned.

"Boy, it's been kind of a long day, huh?" I asked her, as a few freed slaves snuck through the kitchen wall hole, staring in alarm at the dining room before grabbing the rest of the natto and fleeing.

"Wan! I'm ready to pass out, Wan!"

I chuckled to myself, ducking to avoid a swarm of killer bees one of the customers had released.

"Yeah, me too. Let's go find an inn to call it a night, huh?"

I got my skateboard out and leaped through the hole in the wall. Bonbon came running out after us, as the entire restaurant collapsed into a black hole behind her.

"W-wai-" she began, but I ignored her and rode on, ollying my way into the sunset.