That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:
Chappy 1.9 - That time I was reincarnated in another world and heard a cool-ass backstory
Skeletony Cornea was staring at me as the ball of darkness shot towards him, spelling his doom.
"Heh," he said, unnaturally composed after his previous spell of swearing. "Looks like this is the end of the road for ol' Tony... It's been a hell of a ride."
He cocked his head to the side, partially in a gesture of cool indifference and curiosity, but also to better see me around the ball of death rocketing towards him.
"I bet you wanna know how a guy like me fell into line with the Demon Lord, don't ya?" he asked, gesturing towards the snazzy suit he must have changed into sometime during the fight, and gold chains, which remained just as shiny with gold and grease as they had before.
"Not particularly."
"Well, it's a long story," he replied, leaning back with a sigh as the bolt of darkness streaked through the air towards him, leaving afterimages behind it. He reached into his suit jacket and slowly fished out a pack of cigarettes. With a jangle of his gold rolex, he shook out a loose cig and popped it into his mouth, lighting it up. "It all started when I was a child..."
"Y'see, I was born with a certain condition. You might think my skeleton obsession is on account'a the fact that it makes a funny pun with my name. Skeletony, skeletons, y'know?"
Realization blasted through my body as several of my presumably many neurons made the connection in wordplay. If some really cool, really handsome guy somewhere happened to be writing all this down, I was filled with hypothetical pride for this straining the bounds of humor and cleverness.
"T-that's--" I stammered, but he cut me off with a stern look.
"It goes deeper than that. You see, when I was born, I wasn't just what most folks would call 'normal'. Yessee, I was born part man, part skeleton. A skeleton man."
I gasped in shock, quickly activating my [X-Ray Vision] again, to verify. To my horror, a full skeleton appeared overlayed over him, hidden just out of sight below the surface of his skin. He was telling the truth!
"My folks, well... they weren't happy 'bout that. They threw me out on the street. Called me a monster."
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A single tear rolled down his cheek as he shook off the hideous clutch of bad memories. "I had to fight to survive. Had to steal to survive. Had to learn how to work a fulfilling career as a line chef in an Italian family restaurant to survive. That's where I learned how to cook. How to kill. How to get by. They accepted me as one of their own, despite knowing that I was a freak. When I was there, I was family. "
He sniffed, overcome by emotion. "They even gave me the honorary title of [Italian]. The greatest honor I could dream of. It was good, for a bit..."
He sighed, leaning back and exhaling a ring of smoke, which widened until it impacted the [Dark Blast] that was rushing towards Skeletony, destroying the smoke instantly.
"Then the Demon Lord attacked my hometown. Her armies destroyed everything. My old family. The home I grew up in. The Italian Family Restaurant, and all of my co-workers, my new family. Everybody except me."
He looked up, and a cool flashback played over the scene, of the Demon Lord, a figure shrouded in shadow, extending a hand down at a younger, less greasy Skeletony, who stared up at her.
"And I asked her, why she hadn't killed me. And I still remember her words to this day:"
"I was bored."
Skeletony shook his head, while his flashback self grit his teeth and trembled, either with emotion or because he accidentally bit his tongue, I couldn't tell.
"Well," Skeletony continued. "My first reaction was, whaddaya think? Anger. I still can't believe how immature I was. You'da thought she stole the biggest meatball offa my spaghetti."
"Anyways, I soon saw the light at the end of the cannoli--"
"You really gotta play that [Italian] stuff up, huh?" I asked. He continued on, ignoring me entirely.
"She told me that I showed promise, and she wanted to recruit me. I wasn't about to hear a damn word she said, but then the next words I heard her say rocked my world from the toppa my head to the bottom of my shoes."
"Dental Plan and 401k."
"That was all it took. I would follow her to the ends of the earth, by which I mean whatever the fuck the name of this badass game-like Isekai world is called."
"Earth works," I replied. "Just don't think about it too hard."
He nodded. "I asked her, 'don't you care that I'm half-man, half-skeleton?'. But after only about 45 seconds of thinkin' about it, she shrugged."
"It's kinda gross and weird, but you seem like you'll be useful to my plans."
Skeletony stared me in the eyes, his soul burning its message into my own.
"She accepted me, Hiro Protagonist," He said, tripping over the pronunciation a bit as he read it off of the skateboard I always carried on my back, which I hadn't mentioned explicitly yet, but had always been there since the start of the story. "It was the first time I had felt truly accepted, in my life. So if I gotta die to help her take over the world or whatever the fuck she's trying to do..."
He grit his teeth and drew himself to a standing, grinning a smile with finality.
"So be it!" He reached out and cast [Darkbolt Lvl 2], a bolt of dark blasting in to meet mine. To my shocked eyes, the bolt was holding back my own, even though mine was the strongest version of the spell, and level 10! My bolt was moving a full 2% slower as it traveled towards him.
"W-what the?!" I shouted, shocked. "This is bullshit! Only heroes can do th-"
Suddenly, my eyes widened, as realization shot through me once again. Skeletony had a unique name. His birth was out of the ordinary. What's more, he was not a regular person, but was half-man, half-skeleton. I was shook to my core. That meant... that he... I couldn't continue on this course! If I killed him... I would be racist!
I blasted my spell to the side, exploding the wall behind him and sending him ragdolling across the room and through several tables and walls, coming to lie in a crumpled heap in a pile of bricks and splinters.
"Thank goodness," I sighed (TL Note: 'Thank Goodness' means よかった).