That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not
Avast 2.34.5 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and fought a bunch of pirates (Pt 2)
"[Lay on Hands - Minor]," Ciel activated, sending a surge of healing light out through the palm of her hand. The warm light of the blessing spread through the injured [Beach Elf]'s body, like a bowl of chicken broth spilled on a clean white bedsheet. The light intensified as it reached a nasty slash wound on the Elf's leg, before fading away, taking the damage with it. The dudebro stared down at it in slack-jawed surprise as Ciel extended her hand to help him up off the sand.
"Thanks, bro!" he exclaimed, taking her hand. "That was totally mental. I thought I was gonna wipe out big time."
Ciel shook her head as she hauled him to his feet. "Don't thank me," she told him, "thank Kamiko! It was her power that saved you."
The elf chuckled and nodded. "Right on, sister!" He picked up his spear and turned to walk away, but Ciel's hand fell upon his shoulder, preventing him from leaving. He glanced at it, then followed the arm up to her face, which was deadly serious.
"Thank Kamiko," she repeated, staring him in the eyes. Her grip tightened on his shoulder, causing him to wince.
He brushed at her wrist to politely ask her to let him go, but Ciel ignored it. This was an important matter, after all.
"Hey man... thanks for the healing and all, but I, like, don't even know who Kamiko is."
Ciel gasped, stepping back in shock. H-huh? She'd known people who had preferred another god over Kamiko. Bon-chan was one of those, even. And while she'd felt both contemptuous and disappointed by their lack of taste, she at least understood that not everybody could have the same oshi as her. But... meeting somebody who hadn't even heard of Kamiko? This was something she'd only imagined before.
In her wildest dreams.
Ciel took a deep breath, breaking into a smile as she threw a friendly arm around the elf's shoulders.
"Bro..." she said. "You've never heard of Kamiko?"
The elf, who was realizing that he might have gotten himself into some truly deep shit and was starting to think the leg wound would have been preferable, shook his head.
"Bro. Man. Today is your lucky day. Kamiko is just... she's the best. Look. Watch this. You'll understand."
She reached into one of her belt pouches and pulled a playing card from a cardboard deck, holding it out to him. On its face, Kamiko stood in her Divine Dragon Brat Forme, her standard Divine Brat Forme, clad in a soft one-piece outfit that resembled a dragon, including coverings for both hands and feet, and a hood which resembled the snout of a dragon. Small fabric dragon wings and tail sprouted from the appropriate places. She was making a pose as if she were menacing an unseen foe, with a speech bubble saying "Rawr", and a small gout of flame coming from her mouth.
Ciel tapped the card, and the inherent Divine Magic within activated, opening a [System] viewport, similar to the ones created by [Appraisals]. On it, a small video played, a recording of one of Kamiko's Divine Visitations.
Ciel watched it fondly. It was her "[Zatsudan] - New Cosplay Reveals: Halloween Kamiko [Q&A]" visitation, from two years ago. Most of the KamiKards Ciel had collected had similar clips embedded in them. That particular card was an Ultra Rare, and one that Ciel had spent countless Gacha Coins to pull, in that year's "Halloween Costume Extravaganza" pool. But... it had been worth it. She watched with smug satisfaction as the elf chuckled at the video clip of Kamiko cutely complaining about something that had happened. Something in his eyes flickered, and Ciel knew at once: he had been converted.
The video clip ended, and he held the card in both hands, studying it silently. He turned to Ciel, holding the card protectively to his chest.
"Can, uh... can I keep this, bro?" he asked.
The [Paladin] hesitated, sucking in air through her teeth. That card... that was an Ultra Rare... Ciel only had five copies of it. She looked the elf in the eyes. But... if this was the price of introducing another fellow patrician to the rabbit hole...
She sighed, and slapped him on the back, chuckling and burying the pain. "You got good taste, bro! It's all yours!"
The elf grinned widely, nodding at her and tucking the card safely into his board shorts. "Wicked! Thanks, sister!" he shouted, heading back into battle. "Kamiko... I'll have to remember that, dude!"
Ciel saw him off, waving fervently as he vanished around the corner of a house. Another successful convert.
She took a deep breath, still glowing from the joy of simultaneously helping somebody in need, and introducing another soul to the greatness of Kamiko. She'd somehow managed to avoid drugs while still on the street, so she'd never tried any. Still, she imagined this was kind of what it was like, as she paused to relish the endorphin rush. She only allowed herself a small spoonful of relish, however. There were still far too many people in peril. She was glad she was able to help out, but the entire village was in danger.
Ciel was alone now, in what could charitably be called a "street", a straight section of beach between two rows of low wooden houses. She started to head towards the ocean, when a noise from behind caught her attention. Ciel turned and spotted another of the shark pirates chasing down a group of elves. She tightened her grip on her mace, activating her [Crushing Strike] skill. She reared back and hurled the mace towards him. The weapon whirled end-over-end, closing the twenty-foot gap instantly to clobber the shark pirate in the face.
"[Returning Weapon]," she shouted, breaking into a run towards the villain. She veered slightly off to one side of the 'street'. Her [Parkour Basics - Lvl 8] allowed her to easily scale a barrel in a single step. She bounded from the barrel and stepped onto the wall of a hut, wall-hiking up to launch herself up and away from the building, towards the pirate. The mace flew into her waiting hand, and she raised it back over her head. Her quarry met her eyes, staring without even a hint of comprehension as she plunged towards it in a mighty blow. She landed in a blast of sand, stoving its head in with a single crushing blow.
"ENEMY SLAIN!"
The elves the shark had been chasing turned to stare at her in surprise. Ciel turned and gave them a practiced thumbs up.
"Go get somewhere safe. I'll take care'a the rest!" She told them, using her [Inspiring Aura] to powerwash away their fear. One of them nodded, and they scurried away, into a nearby house.
Ciel turned again and saw four more pirates rushing towards her, kicking up sand with their oddly burly legs. She reached back, shrugging her shield from its shield cozy and swoocing her arm through the straps. Four enemies... she kind of wished she had some [Shield Artes]. A good [Shield Charge] or [Sonic Slam] would be really useful right now. Without one, she'd just have to rely on her own Stranth. She was confident in that, at least.
She braced herself, shifting to the right slightly and bringing her shoulder forward to level the shield at the fishy foes. She dropped down until the shield covered her entire body, then began to charge forwards, straight at the approaching sharks.
"[Stunning Shield]!" she shouted, moments before slamming into the pirates, who had conveniently arranged themselves into a wedge formation, allowing Ciel to knock them down in one mighty strike. Her Skill took effect, the impact dazing the pirates. They lay flat on the ground, staring up at the sky with eyes slightly more blank and mindless than usual.
"Yeah!" She shouted happily, pumping her fist. A new record! She'd have to tell Kamiko-sama about it when she offered her prayers tonight. The other girls at the order always seemed too busy to chat, but Kamiko was always there to listen. For now though, it was time to clean up! She turned and heaved her mace up, slamming it down on top of one of the prone pirates.
"ENEMY SLAIN!"
She moved to the next one and saw Wanda come scampering over the roof of a nearby house. The doggirl spotted her and gave a cute little wave, hopping across a gap to get closer before hopping off the roof into an adorable elbow drop. She slammed into one of the stunned pirates, burying its head into the sand with a sickening CRACK.
"Wan!" she barked, "Have you seen Bonbon-chan?"
Ciel crushed another one of the pirates, worry starting to gnaw on the back of her neck (in an ominous way, not a sexy way). Bon-chan could hold her own decently enough, but she wasn't a dedicated fighter.
"ENEMY SLAIN!"
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"Not for a while..." she admitted, standing up and craning her neck around to see the rest of the village. While the village wasn't nearly as densely packed as an actual town, there were still enough buildings scattered here and there on the beach to limit her line of sight.
Wanda finished off the last fallen shark with a swipe of her claws, then took off its dorsal fin with a second slash, tucking it into a small hemp sack on her belt. Ciel eyed the bag, which was soaked and dripping the shark's green blood. Wanda noticed her looking, and smiled a big, fang-filled grin. (TL Note: "Smiled a grin" means "grinned a smile").
"Shark fins are a delicacy, wan!"
Ciel frowned at her. "But... these guys... ain't they, y'know... sentient?"
"You mean sapient, wan?" Wanda asked. "Sentient just means they're aware of things, like a bug, or a cow, wan."
Ciel blinked. Wanda was... kind of odd. She didn't have a bead on her yet, but it seemed like she was a lot smarter than she pretended to be most of the time.
"Ah, yeah, my bad..." Ciel admitted, scratching her head. She looked down at the body of the shark pirates as Wanda cut off the rest of their dorsal fins.
"We should hurry up and find Bonbon-chan, wan!" Wanda said, standing up and shoving the shark fins into her bag. "She's probably in trouble!"
----------------------------------------
I swung my sword, slicing through the pirate captain's neck! The blade sang as I cleaved him in twain, turning and sheathing the katana with a badass pose. I bowed my head, taking a deep, irritated breath.
"..."
Silence flowed through the air, broken only by the screams of elves dying and the incoherent garbling noises of the shark pirates, also dying. I raised my head, at peace with my kill, until some jackass had to ruin it by talking.
"As I was sayin' before ye interrupted me..."
I whirled around to glare at the pirate, who had steadfastly refused to be-headed. His glowing body floated in the air. D-damn it! This was the fourth time I'd tried to execute him in a single decisive blow, and none of them had taken! Who did I have to kill to kill a guy around here?
"Behold! Optic Blast!" I shouted, activating [Evil Eye: Laser Beams]. The beams of searing light cut through him, and I held them active, twisting my head this way and that to zig-zag across his body. Where the beam hit, his body parted like fog, but he quickly merged back together, completely unharmed. I shook my head faster, like I was at some kind of rave party and was too awkward to actually put effort into dancing.
"Nnnngh..." I grunted, continuing to blast him until my beams finally petered out, my SP running out entirely.
"Laddie..."
I panted with the exertion of looking at him really hard. H-how were none of my abilities working? I stared at his body, and its green, slightly translucent texture. O-of course! I wasn't sure why I hadn't realized it before! I waited a few seconds for my [Greater SP Regeneration] to fill my SP back to full, then played my trump card!
I activated [Anti-Slime Sword] and slashed through him again. My sword passed through him, doing even less damage than it had before! D-damn it! He wasn't made of [Slime]? I couldn't believe this! Somehow, he was completely immune to damage. What kind of bullshit ability was that?!
"Ye cannot kill me, lad," He chuckled. "I'm already dead."
I stepped back, surveying the situation. Here I was, on a giant pirate ship, staring down this green, floating, glowing pirate. He was human, unlike the rest of the weird shark things, and he had a fierce, square jaw, clean-shaven and covered in scars, which were similarly glowing green. If he was scarred... then he either sucked at shaving, or he'd taken damage in a fight before! Whichever it was, that must mean that there was some way to hurt him, right?
I manifested a staff using my [Create Weapon] skill and spun it rapidly, activating [Helicopter Staff]. I flew into the air, guided by my make-shift propeller, and blasted through him, scattering him to the four winds, or nine winds, or however many winds there were, I don't remember.
I turned and started to pose triumphantly, but froze mid-unbutton, as he reconstituted back into pirate-shape again. He gave me a dead-eyed look, completely devoid of both mirth and joy.
"Yarrr, kid. It were funny the first few times, but now ye are just gettin' on me nerves."
He growled, pointing his cutlass at me. I took a step back, quickly murdering a nearby pirate to soothe my frazzled nerves.
"ENEMY SLAIN!"
This guy... he had to have SOME kind of weakness, right? I mean, if it bleeds, you can kill it. I might not have seen him bleed yet, but all of the sharks bled, so if he's in the same encounter, then he probably also bled! I quickly appraised him, using my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill.
Name: Captain William Ghostbeard
Active Title: [Elite Four]
Faction: [Demon Lord's Army]
ValueType ERR: entity.race Value:(OVERRIDE:Ghost{human}) AuthAdmin:693-Maoko
Level: 54
EXP: NaN
Skill Points: NaN
Gold Stars: NaN
Gacha Coins: NaN
HP: -1075080/100
MP: NaN
SP: NaN
FP: NaN
Attributes:
Stranth: 199
Dexterity: 103
Swoleness: 255
Magic: 15
Karma: -8540
Mojo: 575
Luck: 67
Skills:
[Walking Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Havermaster] [Hustling Supremacy - Lvl 8] [Climbing Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Cliffwalker] [Swimming Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Motorboat Legs] [Incorporeality] [Vulnerability: Light Magic] [Vulnerability: Healing Magic] [Vulnerability:Divinity] [Vulnerability: Scurvy] [Elemental Damage Super Resistance - Lvl 3] [Shame Resistance - Lvl 8] [Mercy Super Resistance - Lvl 7] [Alcohol Invulnerability] [Greater Maneuverability] [Swooce Supremacy] [Flight] [Knot-tying Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Rope Command] [Captaining Supremacy - Lvl 8] [Commander] [Inspiring Aura] [Terrifying Presence] [Salvo Expert] [Improved Vehicle (Ship)] [Soul-Bonded Vehicle(Ship)] [Invisibility] [Brawler] [Drunken Master] [Evil Eye: Fear] [Speak With Idiots] [Speak With Monsters] [Craft Monster: Mako Manshark Pirate] [Monster] [Pirate] [Binocular Vision] [Telescopic Vision] [Lucre Locator] [Detect Booty] [Detect Land] [Unsatisfy - Lvl 8] [Overeating - Lvl 4] [Avarice - Lvl 8] [Greater Monologue]
Titles:
[Sailor] [Pirate] [Swashbuckler] [Captain] [Commander] [Sharksmith] [Buccaneer] [Pegleg Master] [Liar] [Cheat] [Plunder King] [Deceased] [Elite Four] [General] [Undead] [Ghost]
ERR: ArtesNotFound
Huh? An error? I rubbed my eyes, metaphorically, since my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill didn't actually use my eyes. This was the first time I'd had my appraisal fail! If it threw one error, could I really trust the rest of the information? I'd have to be careful not to fall into some kind of trap against him!
I lunged forwards, punching at him with my [Kill Anything in One Punch] skill! He sighed, shaking his head, as my fist passed right through his chest.
"Then meet ye fate!" he declared, sighing in exasperation as he drove his cutlass through my chest. I gasped, feeling a sharp cold sensation spreading through me. He twisted the blade, and I staggered backwards, disbelieving. His sword... it...
"That's really cold!" I shouted, backing away from him and rubbing that one bone in the middle of your ribs. Jeez. I had been prepared for a life or death battle, but making me slightly uncomfortable was way out of line! Still... that attack... hm. A quick check of my status showed that it hadn't done any damage. I guess ghost swords are covered under my [Absolute Invulnerability] policy? He blinked at my non-lethally non-wounded body, furrowing his ghostly brow.
"What in Davy Jone's locker?"
He lunged forwards, slashing through me several times, to no effect. Heh... it looks like it was my turn to be cocky. He was getting more and more confused the more he wiggled his sword in my general location. I placed my hands on my hips and let him do his thing, basking in my own invincibility.
"Heh..." I hehed. "Of course you can't hurt me. You're a ghost. How would a ghost even be able to hurt a real person?"
He frowned again, rubbing at his ghostly chin. He seemed to be thinking, based on the fact that he was doing the same sort of movements I did when I wanted to look like I was thinking. He seemed to reach a conclusion, and floated over to a barrel a few paces away. He reached out with his ghostly hands and lifted the top off of it, rummaging around inside and coming out with a small pouch. The pouch opened with a crinkle, and he drew out a single gummy candy, in the shape of a fish. My mouth watered at the sight of it. I watched, my eyes widening in horror, as he not only didn't eat or offer me the delicious treat, but instead threw it to the ground like a piece of trash, or a cell phone after you lost at a mobile game. The candy bounced off the floorboards, and I rushed forwards.
"[Five-Second Rule]!" I activated, rolling forward and snapping the candy up with my teeth. I rolled into a crouch, skidding a few feet away while simultaneously turning to face him. I chewed my prize, relishing the delicious blue raspberry flavor as he stared at me in shock.
"Looks like it's my win again..." I muttered, shooting him a confident look. However, rather than defeated, he only looked slightly put out. My eyes widened. T-this guy! He was really tenacious! He rolled his eyes, sighing at me.
"Lad, I'm trying to do something, here, yarr. Leave it be."
"Oh shit, I'm sorry," I replied, my mouth full of candy. "My bad."
I stood up and stepped back to give him room, sheepishly rubbing the back of my head. I waited politely as he threw the candy down, then activated a skill. Instantly, the candy began to bubble and expand, growing like some grotesque tumor and forming itself into another one of those mansharks, complete with a sword and red bandana!
Whoah! That was cool! I wasn't sure which one of his skills was able to do that, but I already had both [Monster] and [Speak with Monster], the two most likely candidates. I made a mental note to play around with that later.
Still... as cool as it was to get a factory tour of the shark-pirate plant, I wasn't exactly impressed with his strategy here. Hadn't he already seen me kill like, fifty of his guys already? I turned and killed another one with a well-placed [Mind Bullet], just to drive the point home.
"ENEMY SLAIN!"
"If you think that's going to be enough to kill me," I laughed, "then you had better-"
He lunged forwards, rudely interrupting me and cutting the head off of his shark ally. W-what the heck?! He'd just killed that poor shark-man! This guy was a real bastard! Not only had he killed a defenseless murderous pirate, but he'd also attacked somebody that was more or less his ally? What a scumbag!
"Y-you!" I shouted, swearing revenge in my heart for the mindless mob monster.
"Ye can see," he explained, indicating his sword. "Though I be a ghost, I can still attack the living with little difficulty."
I froze, shocked to my very soul. Was that why he'd summoned a shark? Just to show me this ridiculous ability of his? This... this wasn't good. If he was invulnerable to basically all harm, but could still hurt things? What the hell kind of crazy cheat skill was that?!
"T-that's broken as hell!" I whined, insanely jealous that he could do something I could do as well, in a slightly cooler way.
"Yarr! It do be!" he guffawed, delighted by his own OP nature. His laughter quickly unlaughed, however, and he gave me a serious look. "But... Ye...I cannot hurt ye, no matter how hard I try. Which can only mean one thing, laddie..."
His stern expression softened, and he gave me an almost fatherly look. The world seemed to slow to a hush, and he studied me head to toe, before nodding once. He opened his mouth, and let out a revelation that rocked me to my very core.
"Lad... I think ye be... a ghost as well."