That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:
Heist 1.35 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and planned a dungeon crawl
"Alright," I said, activating [Drafting Mastery], which I had just learned using my [Instantly Learn Skill] skill. My hand raced across the page at blinding speed, crayon darting across the back of the kid's menu. Slowly, a detailed blueprint of the Tomb of Lowlevel Genericus came into being, along with a mostly-accurate depiction of the surrounding hillside.
"This is the [Dungeon] we need to beat. I used [Mental Encyclopedia] to look up where it's located, then used [Clairvoyance] in tandem with my [Calculator] Cell Phone Arte to view the entire dungeon and plot it out."
Wanda paused, giving me a surprised look. "Hiro, that's... actually a lot of foresight. I'm impressed, wan."
I nodded. "Thanks, but I can't take all the credit. I used my [Future Diary] to steal the idea from myself in the future."
Bonbon frowned. "But..."
"Don't think about it too hard," I told her, "Let's focus on the plan." I tapped the sketch I had drawn.
"This is the first obstacle," I explained. Wanda and Bonbon peered over at the plans.
"A giraffe, wan?"
I shook my head. "No, that was on the menu before I started drawing." I shifted my finger and tapped another spot to clarify.
"There's an entrance here, with a ticket kiosk to make sure that only Platinum Adventurers can get into the dungeon."
"We'll need to find a way to get past them, wan," Wanda noted.
"Y-yeah," I said, heart pounding. D-damn it! I guess Platinum really was higher than Silver! That was just another wrinkle in the fitted sheet of my plan.
"Don't worry, I have a plan to get past them," I lied. "The dungeon is the real threat. It's filled with all kinds of badass and hilarious traps, plus a bunch of dangerous mob monsters, not to mention the dragons themselves."
"Can you really beat a Yellow Dragon?" the elf waifu asked me, looking doubtfully between me and the kid's menu, which I had flipped around to do the junior jumble.
"Yeah, probably," I said. "I beat up an [Italian], so it's probably about the same skill level."
"Wanda, that fight with the [Slime King] seemed a little tough on you. You should take the lead in the dungeon, and you can kill any trash mobs we find, so we can powerlevel you. I'll take care of the dragons once we get there."
Wanda sipped thoughtfully on her Absinthe Colada. "Wan! I like killing!" she mused, "But what about the traps?"
Huh... she had a point. I could probably disarm the traps no problem, but that also sounded like it'd be both annoying and a ton of work. Wanda didn't have any [Skills] that said anything about traps, and it was impossible for me to conceive of somebody having training or a skill set that couldn't be measured in direct numerical values.
"That is tough..." I said, scratching my chin thoughtfully. "I've already completely discounted the idea of putting in effort myself, so we'll have to come up with something else."
"Why not hire somebody else, wan?" Wanda asked, nodding with the side of her head in Bonbon's direction. I looked past Bonbon, but only saw the prize counter. I'd have to talk to Wanda later and explain that you can't just buy people like equipment or other prizes.
"About that..." Bonbon said, standing up. "I've actually been trying to get a hold of you for the last few days. You see, I'm..." She hesitated, as if she had something incredible to say, but wasn't sure how to say it. Either that, or she had been distracted by the buffalo wings and bacon-stuffed potato bites they'd brought out.
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"I'm... on something like a pilgrimage. You'll probably think I'm crazy, but..."
"It's alright," I reassured her, "You're hot, so it's okay if you're crazy."
Wanda nodded sagely, tearing a chunk of meat off one of the hot wings.
"I'm on a mission from God," Bonbon declared. "I've heard the voice of Flavos, the God of Cuisine, and He's charged me with going out into the world to further the art of cuisine. I'm to discover and spread new recipes in His name."
"Wha?!" I shouted, eyes bulging from my head in shock. My mind reeled, in completely disarray from the unfathomable spectacle I'd just witnessed. They'd just brought out our appetizers a minute or two ago... but the food was already coming out?!
"H-hayai!" I grunted, as the waiter set my tendies and mac and cheese platter in front of me. (TL Note: Hayai means "The service here is really prompt!")
"I know it sounds hard to believe..." Bonbon continued, a bit unnerved, possibly by the flagon of ranch dressing I'd plunged my chicken tender into. "But I swear, it's true. I even have a [Title] that proves it.
Hmm... I chewed a potato bite, activating [Heat Resistance] to keep the molten interior of the snack from scorching my mouth. I'd already been a bit suspicious of her, but her story sounded even more suspicious. A mission from God? That sort of thing only happened to important people like me. Besides, I was pretty sure that Kamiko was the God of this world, and she hadn't explicitly gone out of her way to mention Flavos, so he probably didn't even exist.
"I've been traveling the lands since then," she explained, "picking up recipes wherever I could, and introducing them to new cultures. But in all my travels, I've never seen anything like the food you made! It was revolutionary! Seeing as I'm unemployed now-"
I nodded sagely. "I understand completely. But you can't be jealous of how incredible I am. You shouldn't give up. If you keep training, maybe someday you can be slightly less weak compared to me. Probably not, though, because I have [EXP Boost]."
"I don't plan to give up," she said, her eyes burning defiantly. She took a decisive bite of her chicken club and chewed it, staring me in the eyes. I looked away bashfully, and gained the [Eye Contact Resistance - Lvl 1] Skill from the emotional damage I'd taken. She swallowed her sandwich and held her hand out to give me a firm handshake.
"I plan to study under you, to learn all the recipes you have to offer."
Huh... I wasn't entirely sure, but it sounded like she wanted to join my party, and by extension, harem? I was hoping to get a Princess next, but I guess quantity was better than quality. Maybe I'd better consider hearing her out.
"Wan!" Wanda grinned, waggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manner. "You want to study under him, huh?"
I didn't get it, but blinked as Bonbon blushed suddenly. The elf opened her mouth to say something, before closing it and setting a determined expression on her face.
"If that's what it takes," she replied stiffly, slowly nodding her head. "I'm prepared to do anything it takes to see my mission through."
Anything it takes? As in, anything? I gulped nervously, briefly choking on my mac and cheese before washing it down with some ranch. This girl... I knew it! I couldn't trust her at all! She would kill me if it meant learning the recipes that I, and I alone knew. She may be a hot busty anime babe elf waifu who could cook great, but she was also a hot busty anime babe elf waifu who could cook great. Maybe I should give her a shot, at least. But she'd have to prove her worth.
I crossed my arms and nodded sagely. "What exactly do you bring to the table? Why should Hiro Protagonist Incorporated hire you?"
Bonbon's eyes lit up, and she stood a bit straighter. "I'm an expert at all types of cuisine, and have unique [Skills] and [Artes] granted to me by Flavos, that allow me to quickly learn new recipes in a fraction of the time it would normally take, as well as replicate foods from description alone."
I took a bite of my food, politely staring directly at her.
"Uh... I can... also fight a bit. The [Royal In- I mean, the [Regular Instructor] taught me a bit about how to handle myself in a fight, and I'm confident in my knife skills. I also have a few tricks I've learned in order to deal with sneaking and traps and things like that."
I took a sip of my drink. "Mhm..." I said noncommittally.
Bonbon glanced nervously my way, wringing her napkin between her hands. Wanda leaned over and whispered in my ear.
"Wan! She's also very hot, wan!"
O-of course! That was the most important quality in a party member, wasn't it? Well, that was one un-strike in her favor. She still needed two more, though.
"What is your biggest weakness?" I asked.
"[Dark] Elemental Damage," she replied. "B-but I don't have any actual [Vulnerabilities]."
Hmm... that'd probably be alright. We'd probably be doing most of our fighting in well-lit areas, and I couldn't see soldiers of the [Demon Lord] doing [Dark] element attacks very often. Still... while she didn't really seem like a bad candidate, I would only accept the best, or the most marketable members in my harem/party.
"Do you have any past experience in the [Princess] or [Princess] accessories field?"
She jerked as if she'd been struck, standing up suddenly and shoving her chair back as she backed away from the table.
"W-what?!" She clutched one hand to her chest and looked around suddenly. She'd attracted a few odd looks, but a lot of them had already been looking at us anyways, probably admiring my food or face. She took a few deep breaths, composing herself before slowly sitting back down.
"No, I do not," she replied, oddly rigid. "I am definitely not a [Princess], nor have I ever been a [Princess] in the past."
"Darn," I said, hanging my head. I knew it was unlikely, but I had kind of been holding out hope that I could have my cake and fuck it too. Ah well...
I looked up at Bonbon. "I'm still not sure if you qualify to be part of my party, but we can at least give you a test."
Bonbon's entire demeanor shifted, and she sat up in her chair, eagerly unsheathing her frying pan and chef's knife.
"I'm ready!" she declared. "What's the test?"
I grinned a smile.