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That One Isekai [My Only Cheat Skill is All of Them]
[2x15] - That time I was reincarnated into another world and arrived at the All-Female Paladin Order

[2x15] - That time I was reincarnated into another world and arrived at the All-Female Paladin Order

That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:

[2x15] - That time I was reincarnated into another world and arrived at the All-Female Paladin Order

The bushes behind Bonbon erupted into motion, and the elf turned, letting out an inarticulate cry of panic as she defensively cowered on the ground. She stared in terror at the maniac who was double-fisting lit molotov cocktails, before realizing that it was her maniac.

"Wanda-san..." she sighed, putting one burning hand on her fiery chest. "Thank goodness... I was worried you might have run away."

Wanda shook her head. "Wan! I would never run away if it meant leaving you guys to die!" she lied. "I was just waiting for the right moment to launch my attack."

The doggirl glanced down at the unneeded molotovs, tossing them aside with a shrug. "That's a nice look, wan." she commented, gesturing to Bonbon's 'all of her'.

Bonbon, exhausted, held her hand up to scrutinize it further. She shrugged. It did look a little badass, she had to admit. She glanced up at the [Slave], who was slowly edging towards Ciel's shield, which still had the [Shield of Faith] active.

"Wan," she queried. "Would you happen to know if there was any of that.... Superpower food left?"

Bonbon blinked at her.

"You know, in case the bad guys come back, wan!" Wanda finished. She had a deadly serious expression on her face, but Bonbon could see her tail wagging wildly.

Bonbon continued to stare at Wanda. The doggirl, sensing that she was under scrutiny, gave Bonbon her widest, most innocent eyes, tilting her head so that one of her dog ears flopped inside out.

"Wan! Wanda wants to help fight! Wanda wants superpowers too, wan!"

Bonbon stared at her even harder. Her expression didn't change, but somehow the intensity of her stare increased. After a few seconds of Wanda making inarticulate, eager animal noises, Bonbon finally spoke up.

"I'm not sure why you're putting on the cutesy act. I'm not Hiro; that doesn't work on me."

Wanda began to pout, her eyes sparkling with tears "Wan... n-not even a little, wan?" she sniffed.

Bonbon felt her heart twinge a bit, but ignored it, putting on a stern poker face. "N-not at all," she lied.

Wanda's kawaii-as-fuck demeanor disappeared in an instant.

"Alright, wan. It was worth an attempt, at least." She stood up straight, flipping her ear back to normal and wiping her eyes.

"Nevertheless, if you do have more of that... Natto, wasn't it? If you have a steady supply, or a means to create more, I feel it would be wise. My excuse, puerile as it was, isn't without merit. We don't know when they might come back."

Bonbon glanced in the direction the raiders had traveled, her nerves gnawing in her stomach like some kind of hot, flickering thing.

"Their return may not, and likely will not be immediate. But do bear in mind that we have another day and a half of travel until we arrive at the Paladin order. It's true that I want, desperately, to have some ridiculous superpower, but that doesn't weaken my argument at all."

Wanda smiled at the chef, leaning in while looking at her expectantly. Bonbon felt the gnawing in her stomach grow to a thrashing.

"Um. I... I can make some more."

"Wan! Yay~!" Wanda cheered, jumping into the air and pumping her fist, her tail wagging wildly.

Bonbon let out a weary sigh. She hoped that making food to give Wanda superpowers wouldn't have unforeseen consequences. Of course, there were plenty of foreseen consequences, most of them involving crime. But Bonbon acknowledged that Wanda was a lot more... imaginative when it came to getting into trouble.

Still... it was worth the risks. P-probably.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of Ciel, who was returning to the road, red in the face and panting.

"Th-they got away..." she informed the pair. She collapsed on the road, breathing heavily. "I chased after them for... a mile or two... but they got... they got away. D-dang it."

"Wan! Thanks for saving us!" Wanda exclaimed, her eyes sparkling and tail wagging. "You're pretty strong, wan!"

She trotted over to the Paladin, who was too busy catching her breath to reply.

"You look pretty beat up, wan!" she noted. "Wanda will heal you!"

With that, Wanda began casting [Healing], restoring Ciel's wounds. Bonbon watched blankly, finally starting to come down from the adrenaline of the fight. Her body began to dim, as the flames surrounding her slowly faded out, transitioning smoothly back to flesh. Still... there was something she'd been concerned about. She clenched her eyes shut and looked down, counting down from five while bracing herself, before opening them.

"Oh, thank Flavos."

She shook her head, chuckling to herself. Her clothing had just absorbed into her fire form, and was back now. She'd been worried about having to walk naked the two or three miles back to the cart, and the rest of her equipment. That wouldn't have been fun, regardless of how much Wanda tried to convince her otherwise. At least something was going right!

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She lifted her hand and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, opening her mouth to ask Ciel how she was doing. She stopped, distracted by the strand of hair, which had stubbornly refused to move. Huh? She didn't have [Perfect Hair] yet, so why...

She moved to brush it away again, before realizing something was wrong. She turned her attention to fully focus on the empty spot that had previously been occupied by her left forearm. She blinked quickly, rubbing her right eye and wiggling her left stump before looking again.

Her... her arm... was missing.

"Ah. Ah... AHHH!" She shouted, falling backwards and holding her arm out as if it might bite her. "M-m-m-my! My! It's..."

Bonbon stared at her missing arm, hyperventilating and babbling incoherently. Ciel lifted herself from the ground, staring at Bonbon, alarmed. Wanda watched the elf freak out, nodding sagely. Bonbon paled, the blood and life draining from her face as she started to panic.

"I... I can't cook with j-just one arm! W-w-w-what am I going to do? Flavos, I... he... my journey. I, but... I- I -I"

"Wan! Calm down, Bonbon-san," Wanda urged her. She walked towards the elf, slowly, so as to not set her off. She made a placating gesture with her hands, a gesture of 'settle down' that looked like she was very gently slamming her hands on a piano.

"Calm down? My... my arm is!"

"Uh, I mean, we might be able to fix it," Ciel suggested. "Some of the higher-level [Paladins] can cast [Regeneration]. I dunno if any of them are at the Order right now, but it's worth a try, y'know?"

Bonbon let out a shrill laugh. "R-[Regeneration] only works if you cast it within 3 days!" She clutched her legs, rocking slightly.

"I-i-i-it's going to take us at least two days to get there! Wh-what if nobody there is able to cast it? I... I can't..."

"Bonbon-san, wan." Wanda said firmly, reaching out and holding the elf around the shoulder. "You're going to be okay, wan! We can always just get Hiro to heal you up. You need to calm down."

Bonbon shook her head as Wanda gripped her right arm, straightening it out and massaging it around the elbow. She was trying to relax, but thinking of Hiro reminded her that he was still doing his best parade float impression.

"I... M-maybe, but he's still frozen. What if he doesn't wake up in time? What if he... he doesn't wake up at all? Then..." she hesitated, glancing at the doggirl. "What... what are you doing?"

"Finding a vein, wan." Wanda replied casually.

"O-oh, um, okay. But Hiro-san... does he even have any powers that can heal other people? After he exploded you, he kind of just sat there while I used my um... my..." Bonbon paused, her listening comprehension politely goosing her as it caught up to her panicked mind. "W-wait, a vein?"

Wanda jabbed a needle into Bonbon's arm, depressing the plunger. The elf stared down at it, paling to never-before-scene levels of white, her skin practically translucent.

"W-Wanda-san?!" She shrieked, as a warm, fuzzy sensation worked its way up her arm. "What-what-what... what did you just-?"

"Shhh...." Wanda hushed, gently patting Bonbon on the shoulder. "You need to calm down."

"What did you inject me with?! Is that drugs?! Wanda-san did you drug me?! Wanda-san!"

Ciel stood up, drawing her mace and looking between the pair in confusion. "Uhh... what's going on?"

"It's okay, wan." Wanda reassured her. "[Doctors] do this all the time."

Ciel relaxed, out of confusion, if nothing else. "Uh... well... alright. I guess? Is she okay?"

Bonbon's eyes flitted shut. She was feeling... heavy. Warm, but heavy. She'd been really upset about her arm, for some reason. She was trying to focus on why, but her thoughts kept turning into clouds and drifting away. She mostly just felt... sleepy. And relaxed. And sleepy. That... that made sense. It was the middle of the night, after all. And she'd just done a lot of fighting. She should really be asleep already.

She'd... she'd worry... about her arm... in the morning.

Bonbon gently sagged to the ground, drooling and occasionally twitching. Wanda watched her go down, nodding in satisfaction.

Ciel walked cautiously towards the pair. She'd never seen a [Doctor] wearing a slave collar, but her pants were made out of chainmail, so what did she know about fashion? Bonbon had fought well. Ciel probably wouldn't have survived without her help. She scratched the back of her head.

"Uh... well... I guess we've gotta carry her back to the cart."

"Not it, wan!"

----------------------------------------

Several minutes, seconds, hours, or days before that bullshit, I was busy coming up with my amazing time-saving plan! We were still a few days away from the Paladin's order, and sadly, none of my skills could make the cart go faster.

But, I COULD make the time go faster! My [Time Slow] skill made time go slower for everybody else, and my [Trick or Treat Room] reversed all time-based effects! If I used them in combination, then I could make time go by a lot slower for me! That means that we could make the whole trip at normal speed, but I wouldn't have to sit through any boring shit!

I wasn't sure if there was any skill that would let me skip uninteresting things to get straight to the action, but I was also too lazy to bother looking right now! This solution worked well enough, after all.

Still, I wasn't entirely sure exactly how much slower I would wind up going, or how long it might take to show up at the Paladin Order. There was probably some kind of math I could use to figure it out, but really, I didn't need to. I'd just keep the [Time Slow] active until I saw the Paladin Order! I'd probably recognize it pretty well, since religious buildings usually looked a lot fancier than regular buildings, and slightly less fancy than Adventurer's Guilds.

I grinned a smile to myself, activating [Trick or Treat Room] localized entirely on me. I grabbed a random snack from Wanda's bag of snacks, tossing it into the [Trick or Treat Room] to boost it. Now all that's left is to activate [Time Slow]! I wondered briefly whether this was a good idea. If something happened, I might not be able to react quickly. But then again, we already had one random encounter, so it'd be bad game design to have another attack happen on the same stretch of road. Plus, I'd come up with this plan myself. That was enough to convince me of its brilliance!

I chuckled to myself, activating it. At once, the cart began to speed up, and then everything became a blur of light. It looked pretty trippy, with trails of lights and blurs of movement and color, like one of those cool time-lapse videos of traffic. It was probably just the visual effects from activating it. Either way, I had to keep my eyes peeled for something that looked like a church, or a hot lady [Paladin]!

I wasn't sure how long it'd take, but I did have the [Brain Cell Phone] skill! If I didn't see any [Paladins], I'd give it an hour or two, and turn it off to check. What game should I pl--

Suddenly, light flashed, and I felt a surge of energy, as my skill shattered. W-what the?! An ambush?!

I sat up, reaching for my katana, and was shocked to realize that it was missing! My heart thumped in my chest. D-damn... They'd planned this far in advance?! I had to act quickly!

I started to cast [Meteor Storm], then froze. Choutto matte a moment. I'd assumed it was an attack of some kind, but now that I looked at it... I wasn't in the cart anymore. And... I was surrounded by c-c-c-cute girls in armor! Wow! There's no way cute girls would attack me, so these must be allies. I had no idea what was going on, but I wasn't about to complain.

I looked around, taking in my surroundings, by which I mean all the hot anime babes and their tastefully revealing armor. I accidentally took in some of the room as well. I noticed that I was in some kind of stone chamber with small windows on the tops of the walls, probably some kind of cellar or basement or erotic torture chamber. There was a rack with jars on it in one corner. I added a mental note to raid it for one singular restorative item later, then never interact with again.

I was sitting on a stone slab, which was in the center of some cool-looking magic symbol on the floor. It looked like somebody must have accidentally set me down on the middle of their ritual. I opened my mouth to apologize, my Japanese sensibilities getting the better of me, but was interrupted by a booming voice.

"The curse is lifted!" An older woman in robes declared, raising her hands triumphantly. "Praise Kamiko!" (TL Note: 'older woman' means Christmas Cake).

"Praise Kamiko!" The others cheered, raising their weapons into the air in salute. Huh? Did I miss something? I looked around at the medley of hot lady knights. They all had an emblem somewhere on their armor, which looked like some kind of 4-dimensional crown. That was... familiar somehow. I screwed my memory up trying to recall where I'd seen it, then noticed that it was surrounded by an iconic white ribbon.

Oh! That was Kamiko's ribbon!

Then... these must have been those [Paladins] of Kamiko that the old guy had been talking about! Which... could only mean...

"I made it!" I shouted, standing up and pumping my hands excitedly into the air. After a long 1.5 seconds on the road, I'd finally arrived in the All-Female Paladin Order! Everywhere I looked, hot anime babes were waiting, busty and otherwise! I'd finally made it! I let out a single tear of joy. From the moment I'd first stepped into the Badass Isekai Gamelike Fantasy world, I'd dreamed of a moment like this: being the only guy surrounded by tons of hot girls, who were statistically probably totally into me! And here I was!

The real fantasy adventure starts now!