That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not

V:2 Ch:32 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and discovered some wicked elves

I charged down the side of the cliff, drawing my katana. I quickly caught up to Ciel and Wanda and gave them a determined nod as we charged over the dunes.

"So... which side are we helping."

Ciel stumbled a bit, turning to look at me in surprise. "Wha... the elves, right?" She said it matter-of-factly, but hesitated a bit at the end, like she was second-guessing herself. "Why would we help the monsters?"

I blinked at her. "Well... I mean, the elves are our enemy, right? Isn't that who we came to defeat?"

"Wan!" Wanda added, "I thought you were going to say that the shark guys were cool, wan."

"Also true," I noted. She made a good argument. I hadn't considered that part of things before, but maybe we really should help the sharks.

"Hiro-san, those aren't [Valley Elves]!" Bonbon exclaimed, hitting the emergency release switch on my wrist to escape from my grip. "Those are [Beach Elves]! They're lazy, slovenly, useless bums, but they aren't enemies!"

I furrowed my brow at her. "Valley... Beach... whatever," I sighed. "Elves are like wine. You can talk for hours about how different they all are from each other, but at the end of the day, they all taste like spoiled milk."

"What... what kind of wine have you been drinking, Master?" Wanda asked, genuine concern leaking into her voice.

"That's not important right now!" I told her. "We need to decide who to save!"

The elves glanced over at me, and looked hesitant for some reason. Meanwhile, the sharks continued to fight without noticing my presence, or in fact giving any sign that they were aware of anything except their targets. This was tough! They seemed more or less evenly matched. There were four Elves, and only three sharks, so they had a bit of a numbers advantage, but their bodies were covered in cuts and bruises. They were all wearing bathing suits, except for the spellcaster, who was in a full robe and wizard hat that covered her entire body. Two of the elves were guys, so I immediately ended my examination there, and didn't pay any attention to their lithe swimmers builds, or their flowing golden locks, or their sharp bishonen features.

The women on the other hand... The wizard's robe unfortunately hung loose on her body, rather than hugging her every curve as if it were painted on. Because of this, I couldn't describe any of her important features, only the fact that she had glasses, brown eyes, and purple hair tied up into a bun. She had a bookish look to her, but the shy, quiet bookish rather than the student-rep type of bookish that made me nervous.

I could tell at once that the other woman was a warrior, because she had a sword, and her bathing suit included coconut-shell paulders. She had billowing hair the color and consistency of seafoam, with star shapes inexplicably printed into the coloration that looked really cool, but would be basically impossible to replicate in cosplay. She had a slim and curvy body that didn't appear athletic or muscular in the slightest. Despite this, she was holding her own against the shark, which wasn't that unusual considering a kickass gamelike LitRPG [System] could turn the twiggiest NEET into a powerlifter, or let a literal child become strong enough to kill a god. Most importantly of any of her physical features, she had big honkin' tits.

I glanced over at the sharks. I'd read a book about sharks once, and I could tell that they were Mako Sharks, due to the particular shape of their head, and the Lifestream wafting out of their gills. They had beefy, hairy human arms and legs coming out of their sides. The one closest had a tattoo of an anchor on one shoulder, and they were using weapons. That usually meant that they were intelligent, but they also were literally just fish, so they couldn't be that smart.

Dang! This was a tough choice! I rubbed my chin, looking from the sharks to the elves.

"Please, help us!" One of the elves cried out, backing away from an attacking shark and holding up her staff.

"Krrllcraa...gnnaaa!" the shark countered, gnawing on her staff.

Ugh... I hated moral dilemmas like this! I rubbed the back of my head, my brain buzzing as I tried to figure out what to do. Maybe it would be better if I just killed both of them equally? What would a [Legendary Hero] do?

"Hiro-kun... it ain't that hard of a decision, is it?!" Ciel shouted, as she swung her mace at one of the sharks. It sprang away from her with fishlike agility. I thought for a second she might have been picking a side already, but realized that she might attack the elves afterwards as well. Wanda sidled up next to me, leaning in to speak in a low whisper.

"Master," she said, a calculating look on her face. "Sharks... don't have breasts, wan."

"Hang on!" I shouted to the elves. "I'm coming!"

Or so I said... but that might be easier said than done! Sharks were nature's perfect predator, unchanged for millions of years. And these ones had changed to become even more powerful, with the addition of being able to wield weapons! I had to be careful. Who knew how tough these guys were? I appraised one with my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill!

Manshark Deckhand

Level: 13

Faction: [Ghostbeard's Dread Pirates]

HP: 2073/2500

MP: 0/0

SP: 508/550

FP: 17/20

Attributes:

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Stranth: 39

Dexterity: 42

Swoleness: 25

Magic: 0

Karma: -100

Mojo: 0

Luck: 65

Skills: [Swimming Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Literally a Fish] [Walking Basics - Lvl 3] [Climbing Basics - Lvl 2] [Burning Invulnerability] [Vulnerability: Lightning] [Vulnerability: Clown] [Fisherman's Dodge][Swordfish Basics - Lvl 5] [Elemental Blade - Water] [Fisherman's Blade] [Fishing Mastery] [Biting Mastery - Lvl 2] [Shredding Teeth] [Piracy Basics - Lvl 3] [Deck-Swabbing Mastery - Lvl 4] [Rigging Basics - Lvl 8] [Gilled - Lvl 10] [Lesser HP Regeneration]

Titles: [Monster] [Pirate] [Deckhand] [Swordfish] [Human Killer] [Angler]

Pirate Artes:

[Rapid Swabbing]

Monster Artes:

[Big Bite]

[Torpedo]

[Bubble]

I jerked back in surprise. [Human Killer]?! I was a human! I'd have to be even more careful than I thought. But at the same time, if I were to use one of my instant-kill skills, they might not realize that it was me who did the killing! I couldn't risk not getting the credit I deserved. The shark turned to notice me for the first time! He lunged towards me, swinging his blade and snapping his jaws! I parried by using [Heroic Slash], splitting him horizontally through his open mouth, and lopping off the top of his head entirely. The jaw sagged open, as if either it couldn't believe I had just done that, and/or it had suddenly died.

"ENEMY SLAIN"

I looked up at my next target. Wanda had leapt onto its back, sinking her teeth into its gills to establish dominance. She shook her head like a dog worrying a giant manshark, and then leaned back, giving a thumbs-up to a waiting Ciel, who brought her mace down in a mighty blow, fucking exploding the fish's head.

The last one continued its assault on the wizard elf, but her allies quickly brought it down and commenced grouping around it and kicking and beating it to death, with the wizard joining in once she regained her balance.

Tch. I had wanted to kill all of them. I could only watch in disappointment as they stole the EXP that was rightfully mine. I turned towards Bonbon, who hadn't started fighting yet.

"At least I can count on you, Bonbon-chan," I sighed.

"Huh? Me? Are you being sarcastic?" she asked, perplexed and a little worried.

I ignored her, walking over to the elf which I assumed was the leader (the tallest one), and extended my hand. He brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes, then grasped my hand. I glanced down in irritation at the fact that he was giving me a handshake instead of paying me for helping him. I held my tongue however, because I was a cool guy like that, and not because his confidence and height made me self-conscious and nervous.

"Thanks for the help, dude!" He said, his voice laid back and hanging ten. "Never thought I'd be saved by a couple of shoobies."

"Y-you too..." I muttered, looking away and sweating nervously. I couldn't handle popular people!

The non-wizard female elf walked over, placing a hand on her hip as she scrutinized us.

"You look armed for battle," she complimented us. "What brings you to our beach?"

"B-bad guy..." I muttered, withering under the interested gazes of multiple hot and cool elves in beachwear.

"We're looking for an [Elite Four]," Bonbon explained. She was terse, looking down her nose at the [Beach Elves].

"He's the [Legendary Hero], wan!" Wanda informed them.

The double-pair of elves looked at each other, their eyes widening. "Whoaaah, man. No way? That's sick! You'll want to meet the King fer sure, [Legendary] Bro."

As I watched them looking at me with open awe, I felt my confidence slowly returning all at once. I puffed my chest out and swiped with my sword, flinging the shark blood off the tip, aimed carefully to land on Bonbon's apron to avoid littering. I sheathed my sword, striking what I hoped was a confident pose.

"That's right," I told them. "Take me to your leader."

----------------------------------------

We walked along the beach, the sun overhead shining down on us, the smell of salt and sunscreen in the air. The further along we went, the higher the elf-to-beach density became. Out in the ocean, I could spot the occasional elf riding some kind of weird, long skateboard without wheels, grinding on the waves as they crashed to shore. More of them were busying themselves on the beach, digging holes, sunbathing, fishing, or playing beach volleyball.

After a while, we arrived at a giant wall of driftwood, lashed together with fishing nets and studded with shark jawbones. Two more [Beach Elves] were standing watch at a gate, wielding shields made of turtle shells and spears made of driftwood and broken beer bottles.

"Dawn Patrol, returning home," the leader of the group said, giving a lazy salute.

Bonbon arched an eyebrow, glancing over at the sun setting over the valleys. "Dawn?"

He turned and shrugged, grinning a sheepish smile at us. "Yeahhh... we kinda slept in. Our bad."

"We?" the wizard asked, giving him the stinkeye. The leader stuck his tongue out and bopped himself on the head, as if to say 'silly me'. The wizard was unimpressed, staring at him with dead eyes.

"Run into any trouble?" the guard at the gate asked him.

"Welcome to Sandcastle." the second guard said, conversationally.

"Yeah, man. Like, a bit," the leader replied, tossing his hair and gesturing back the way we'd come from. "Ran into a couple mansharks on the beach. Things were lookin' real choppy, but these guys came and saved our skin."

The guard looked at us, raising an eyebrow.

"You bringing shoobies in?"

"Welcome to Sandcastle," the second guard added.

"Nah, man, listen, they're cool, alright? This guy here is totally rad. I could tell you why, but you wouldn't believe it."

"We're going to see the king," the Wizard explained. "He'll wanna know about this."

The guard nodded, moving to the side to let us through.

"Tell me about it later, man. Hang Loose, brother."

"Hang Loose."

"Welcome to Sandcastle."

We ventured inside the walls, and came upon a dazzling array of hot elves, making their way around a rustic beach village. There were handfuls of wooden huts and tents scattered around the beach, along with a few wagons that had been retrofitted into small houses. Almost every hut had one of those weird giant skateboards leaning up against the walls. A pair of elf men walked past us, carrying large nets full of fish.

"You guys dropped in at the right time, man. King Kahuna's been freaking out about these pirates."

"Well..." Bonbon replied. "I'm sure we'd be happy to help, but we were... kind of..." She looked at Ciel. "Is it alright to help them, when the [Valley Elves] are still..."

Ciel blinked at Bonbon, then nodded really fast. "There's always time to help somebody in trouble!"

Wanda snickered, but Ciel didn't seem to notice, instead prodding the elven guides for more details about the pirates.

He started to explain, but I only got about 10 seconds in before I realized that he was giving us more exposition. I immediately tuned out, my PTSD from Mother Exposita kicking in. Instead, I stared at the massive building we were walking towards. It was a small castle the size of a large castle, but most impressively of all, it seemed to be built entirely out of sand. Huh... that was an interesting coincidence! It was a castle made of sand, and the town was called Sandcastle. I chuckled to myself, wondering whether they'd noticed it, and the elves led us inside.

"Wan! This castle is really strong!" Wanda remarked, prodding at the wall with the tip of her claw.

"It's enchanted," the wizard elf explained. "Some powerful witch built it after King Kahuna beat her at limbo."

I nodded in approval. If I happened to find a witch, I'd have to make sure to challenge her to limbo. I was going to need a castle eventually, to keep all of my treasure and/or harem. I wasn't sure how a limbo contest necessarily led to a free castle, but it's probably just some arbitrary obscure rule of witches in general, and I'm sure it applies equally to all witches.

We walked down the long corridor, passing more elves in their beach-armor, as well as fine paintings, most of which were people out in the water, or giant waves, or both. I was starting to get a bit nervous the further we went in. Bonbon had said these weren't the right elves, but it's not like she was some kind of elf expert or anything, she was a chef after all. If these guys were enemies, we were walking right into their trap.

I'd have to keep my wits in my general vicinity. I couldn't afford to get caught off-guard.

We arrived at a massive set of doors, made from solid sand. The guards shoved against them, opening them with an echoing creak to reveal a huge banquet hall with vaulted ceilings. A red carpet ran down the central aisle, right up a set of steps to a huge throne, upon which sat a massive elf. He must have been six foot eight, and had to weigh at least a fucking ton.

"Mahalo, [Legendary Hero]," he boomed down to us. "I am [King]-"

He was interrupted when the back of his head exploded, as my [Evil Eye: Laser] caught him in the forehead.

"I knew it!" I exclaimed, turning to Bonbon. "I told you we'd find King Chad here."

I dusted my hands off and struck a triumphant pose as I turned to face the rest of the congregation, who could only stare at me in slack-jawed, wide-eyed adoration.

"Alright, mission accomplished," I announced. "What next?"