That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:
Power 34% - That time I was reincarnated into another world and found a forbidden [Quest]
I leaped over a table, earning a shout from a group of orc barbarians (I could tell they were barbarians because they weren't using coasters). Still, that was a small price to pay! I'd arrived at the poster first, before anybody else had a chance to come check it out. Bonbon came running up, proving that I'd been right to run. Jeez, what was her problem?
I looked up at the poster. "So, what's the [Quest]?" I asked, realizing that the poster was in the bullshit Isekai language. I could use [Mental Dictionary] to translate it, probably, but it'd be easier if somebody wanted to conveniently narrate it for me. I could tell that the poster was important, because it had some kind of fancy crest on it, that my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill told me belonged to some empire.
"Huh?" Bonbon asked, looking from me to the poster. "Do you mean... the poster? I don't think it's for a quest."
Wanda watched as an adventurer got up to use the bathroom, then casually picked his plate off the table and started eating. She looked up at the poster, reading it quietly. "Wan! It looks like a notice, not a [Quest]."
...huh? What kind of idiot would put a notice to the public up on something like a [Bulletin Board]?! Those are exclusively for publishing [Quests]! I scowled up at the poster, and activated [Mental Dictionary], begrudgingly reading the sign with my own eyes.
'Attention All Adventurers' the poster began. My eyes widened. Wait a second... I was an adventurer! I redoubled my focus, realizing that this poster might say something important!
'Please note that the local dungeon, 'Tomb of Lowlevel Genericus" has recently been invaded by 5d6 Yellow Dragons, and its rank has been accordingly adjusted from Chert Rank to Platinum Rank. As such, the dungeon will be inaccessible to all adventurers below Platinum Rank.'
Huh... this brought up a lot of questions. Namely, and most importantly, what the fuck was a Yellow Dragon? But besides that... Platinum was one of those hard to pronounce metals, that was probably super rare. It had to be a pretty high rank, maybe higher or lower than Silver, even. Its exact placement aside, this was the Badass Isekai Fantasy Gamelike Starter Town, with an emphasis on Starter, and slightly less but still present emphasis on Isekai. Would there even be any Platinum Rank adventurers here?
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"Would there even be any Platinum Rank adventurers here?" I asked, out loud.
"In this town?" Bonbon asked, shaking her head. "I can't see why they'd stay here instead of moving on."
"Wan! They'd be long gone!" Wanda added.
"Wait, where's my food?" a random adventurer asked, staring at an empty plate.
I turned from the poster, holding my chin to keep my mouth closed while my mind and body wandered. This dungeon... Platinum Rank... dragons... Beating such a dungeon sounded like it would be really dangerous! You'd have to be really powerful to make it through, almost like some kind of big damn [Hero].
I stopped in my tracks, causing a tray-laden waiter behind me to have to veer suddenly to the side. He stumbled over a chair and ate shit, dumping beer and fried stew all over a table of what looked like glam-rock vikings or something. I ducked down out of the way as they bodily threw him across the room.
"BAAAAAR FIIIIGHT!" a viking in Ziggy Stardust makeup announced raising a battle-guitar into the air.
"That's it!" I shouted, gently pounding the side of my fist in my open palm.
"Wan!" Wanda wanned excitedly, grabbing an empty beer bottle and expertly shattering it on the edge of a table. She began looking around like a kid in a candy store, her tail wagging wildly.
"No, not that," I corrected her. Her ears drooped and her shoulders sagged in a way that instantly filled me with guilt and moé in equal portions. I gave her conciliatory headpats. I'd have to remember to let her get into a bar fight later, as a treat.
"I meant the poster. I think that's the solution to solving my harem problem!"
Bonbon ducked a thrown flagon and gave me a vaguely horrified look, as if I had just dipped my fist into the bowl of spinach-artichoke dip at a party again.
"Your harem?" she asked hesitantly. "Do you mean... the dragons?"
"Technically, yes," I replied, "but the only fucking I want to do is them up." I gestured to myself with a thumb. "If I clear the dungeon, then I'm sure to get to [Gold Rank]! Then I'll be able to go get my Princess." (TL Note: Princess means hime-sama)
The elf cook twitched and stared at me in sudden alarm. "P-p-princess?!"
"Don't undaijobu," I reassured her. "A 'princess' is just a term for a King's daughter. It's nothing dangerous. Usually."
I ducked out of the brawl and back to the relative calm of the non-brawling section of the restaurant, as the two women followed me. I sat at a table and used my [Bargain Hunter] skill to send a mental summons to our waiter, which wasn't a typical use of the skill, but was instead an exploit I discovered after many arduous minutes of experimentation.
Wanda pulled out a chair and flopped into it, sulking a bit until she saw the liquor menu. While she perused that, Bonbon pulled up another chair and sat decisively into it. I gave her suspicious look. Was she trying to steal credit from me, again? I still hadn't forgiven her fully for selling my rice recipe, but she had a chest of gold, which probably meant the heart underneath it was good too. She could have the benefit of the doubt for now. I'd just have to wait and see what her whole deal was.
I reached out and grabbed a kids menu, ordering a mac and cheese and tendies platter before flipping it over and using the provided crayons to begin drafting up a plan of attack on the back.
"Alright," I said, addressing the table at large, "Here's the plan."