That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not
Anchor 2.42 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and wrapped things up before shipping
A new day arrived, and with it, a new opportunity for adventure! I sprang out of the "ham hock" or whatever, some weird net-bed they'd given me. I deftly activated [NoClip] to avoid getting my limbs caught in it like I had several dozen times last night. I did my morning calisthenics, then quickly appraised my status (using my appraisal skill [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)]) in case I'd leveled up during the night!
Name: Hiro ♥ Protagonist
Active Title: [Legendary Hero]
Level: 11
EXP: 4900/5500
Skill Points: 73042
Gold Stars: 53
Gacha Coins: 1,000,000,049
HP: 69425/69425
MP: 1337/1337
SP: 9999/9999
FP: 1/1
Attributes:
Stranth: 110000
Dexterity: 110000
Swoleness: 110000
Magic: 110000
Karma: 185
Mojo: 99999
Luck: -99999
Skills:
[Jumping Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Hopmeister] [Running Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Windrunner] [Climbing Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Cliffwalker] [Crawling Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Crawldad] [Swimming Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Motorboat Legs] [Cooking Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Sudden Grace] [Godly Chef] [Divine Heavenly Chef] [Punching Invulnerability] [Slashing Invulnerability] [Projectiles Invulnerability] [Stabbing Invulnerability] [Crushing Invulnerability] [Toe-stubbing Invulnerability] [Burning Invulnerability] [Lightning Invulnerability] [Fish Invulnerability] [Shadow Invulnerability] [Surprise Invulnerability] [Light Invulnerability] [Heavy Invulnerability] [Greater Invulnerability] [Wind Invulnerability] [Water Invulnerability] [Earth Invulnerability] [Sleep Invulnerability] [Pain Invulnerability] [Silence Invulnerability] [Curse Invulnerability] [Emotional Damage Invulnerability] [Seduction Invulnerability] [Wisdom Invulnerability] [Shame Invulnerability] [Heat Invulnerability] [Cold Invulnerability] [Itching Invulnerability] [Discomfort Invulnerability] [Alcohol Invulnerability] [Drug Invulnerability] [Spicy Invulnerability] [Cringe Invulnerability] [Absolute Invulnerability] [Arrest Resistance - Lvl 3] [Fluff Resistance - Lvl 3] [Mist Resistance - Lvl 2] [Stress Resistance - Lvl 2] [Ruler Resistance - Lvl 4] [Second Wind] [Plot Armor] [Indomitable Will] [Eye Contact Resistance - Lvl 5] [Sunlight Resistance - Lvl 2] [Thirst Resistance - Lvl 2] [Voodoo Resistance - Lvl 1] [Odor Resistance - Lvl 3] [Greater Maneuverability] [Swooce Supremacy] [3D Maneuvering] [4D Maneuvering] [Noclip] [Greater Fisticuffs] [Fisticuffs Supremacy] [Kill Anything In A Single Punch] [Elemental Punches] [Flaming Energy Ball] [Dark Attack Basics] [Stunning Blow] [Poisoning Blow] [Silencing Blow] [Surprising Blow] [Fisherman's Fist] [Cursing Blow] [Stunning Slash] [Poisoning Slash] [Silencing Slash] [Surprising Slash] [Fisherman's Blade] [Cursing Slash] [Heroic Slash] [Sexpert] [Ultra Fabio] [Expert Swordsman] [Dual-Wielding] [Triple-Wielding] [Sword Saint] [Energy Blade] [Expert Spearsman] [Spear Extension (All natural supplement)] [Triple Thrust] [Expert Hammersman] [Ultra Crush] [Whirlwind Smash] [Expert Archer] [Multishot] [Homing Shot] [Penetrating Shot] [Ricochet Shot] [Curving Shot] [Splitting Shot] [Returning Shot] [Explosive Shot] [Dual-Wielding (Bows)] [Instant Reload] [Tennis Master] [Ultra Serve] [Devil Serve] [Hell Rally] [Dakimakura Supremacy] [Dakimakura Expert] [Knife Supremacy] [Bar Fighting Supremacy] [Brawler] [Drunken Master] [Expert Staffsman] [Spinny Boi] [Crushing Staff] [Helicopter Staff] [Acrobatic Flipwaltz] [Fishing Supremacy] [King Angler] [Snap Cast] [Casting Supremacy] [Casting King] [Handsome - Lvl 10] [Perfect Hair] [Furrow Browsics - Lvl 4] [Chest Puff Basics] [Imbue Weapon] [Enhance Weapon] [Create Weapon] [Repair Weapon] [Sell Weapon] [Clapping Mastery - Lvl 3] [Photographer Mastery - Lvl 2] [Montage Mastery - Lvl 4] [Woodworking Basics - Lvl 3] [Carpentry Basics - Lvl 2] [Drafting Mastery - Lvl 2] [Kinetic Remodeling] [Bureaucracy Supremacy - Lvl 2] [Conga Line Basics - Level 1] [Subletting Basics - Lvl 1] [Beachcomber Basics - Lvl 1] [Trick or Treat Room] [Time Slow] [Time Stop] [Win Almost Everything But Not Everything] [Win Everything Else] [Speak With Animals] [Speak with Plants] [Speak with Monsters] [Speak with Idiots] [Speak with Walls] [Greater Speaking] [Detective Basics - Lvl 3] [Peer Pressure Mastery - Lvl 1] [Substitute Teacher Basics - Lvl 1] [Spider-Killing Basics - Lvl 1] [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] [Greater Vore] [Shield Supremacy] [Shield Saint] [Dual Wielding (Shields)] [Dual Welding] [Arch Welding] [Godly Welding] [Instantly Learn Skill] [Regeneration] [Super Regeneration] [Ultra Regeneration] [Max Regeneration] [Ultra Max Regeneration] [Clown Resistance] [Smoke Ring Basics - Lvl 2] [Steal] [Burgle] [Purloin] [Stealth] [Greater Stealth] [Sneak King] [Invisibility] [Demon Lord - Lvl 10] [Hero - Lvl 10] [Sidekick - Lvl 10] [Evil Vizier - Lvl 10] [Greater Stranth] [All Natty] [Greater Dexterity] [Skanda] [Greater Swoleness] [Bloatlord] [Greater Magic Casting] [Greater Magic Perception] [Greater Magic Intuition] [Greater Magic Licensing] [Greater Magic Conscription] [Parliamentary Recess] [Height of Occultism] [Greater Flame Magic] [Heat Miser] [Greater Wind Magic] [Tornadist] [Greater Ice Magic] [Snow Miser] [Greater Earth Magic] [Rockhaver] [Greater Light Magic] [Dayman] [Greater Dark Magic] [Nightman] [Greater Surprise Magic] [Magic Magician] [Greater Dimensional Magic] [Space Folder] [Greater Death Magic] [Overlord] [Lesser Flavor Magic] [Jellymancy] [Psionics] [Greater ESPer] [Mind Bullets] [Mind Rockets] [Telekinetic] [Telepathetic] [Nerve Rack] [Teleportation (Minor)] [Instant Transmission] [Greater Mojo] [Funklord] [Dramatic Entrance] [Cultist Basics - Lvl 2] [Bargain Hunter] [Dealsmith] [Hagglemeister] [Greater HP Regeneration] [Automatic Resurrection] [Lesser MP Regeneration] [Greater SP Regeneration] [Greater FP Regeneration] [Dragon Power] [Dragon Breath] [Dragon Wings] [Greater Fursona: Dragon] [Ninja] [Divine Blessing] [Multitask Basics - Lvl 1] [Parallel Wills - Lvl 1] [Mental Dictionary] [Mental Rolodex] [Mental Thesaurus] [Mental Encyclopedia] [Mental Almanac] [Mental Coloring Book] [Mental Powerpoint] [Mental Sundial] [Brain Cell Phone] [Inter-dimensional Cell Phone] [Demon Eye] [Evil Eye: Curse] [Evil Eye: Killing] [Evil Eye: Poison] [Evil Eye: Venom] [Evil Eye: Itching] [Evil Eye: Surprise] [Evil Eye: Silence] [Evil Eye: Cringe] [Evil Eye: Laser Beams] [Binocular Vision] [Telescopic Vision] [X-Ray Vision] [Heat Vision] [Clairvoyance] [Periscope Vision] [Supervision] [Expert Hearing] [Double-Ear] [Long-Range Hearing] [Expert Smelling] [Sniff Supremacy] [Expert Taste] [6 Foot Tongue] [Skeleton Detection] [Elf Detection] [Chef Detection] [Prison Detection] [Manifest Wings] [Manifest Horns] [Manifest Extra Arms] [Shapeshifter] [Trainer] [Personal Trainer] [Slave Owner] [Slave Friend] [Monster Tamer] [Monster Friend] [Monster King] [EXP Share] [Monster] [Drop Collection Basics] [Instant Change (Outfit)] [Greater Color Coordination] [Background Music Basics] [Paranoid - Lvl 2] [Wrath] [Pride] [Lust] [Greed] [Envy] [Gluttony] [Sloth] [Chastity] [Temperance] [Charity] [Diligence] [Kindness] [Patience] [Humility] [Defy Gods] [Defy Parking Ticket] [Flying] [Greed is Good] [Greater Monologue] [Monologue Supremacy] [Instant Monologue]
Titles:
[Emperor] [Ollie King] [Jump King] [Climb King] [Running King] [Crawling King] [Mystery Chef] [Angler King] [Ultra Mage] [Seven Deadly Sins Master] [Seven Heavenly Virtues Master] [Super Mage] [Great Warrior] [Demon Lord] [Hero] [Champion of the Sun] [Karate Master] [Evil Vizier] [Good Vizier] [Sword Saint] [Spear Saint] [Shield Saint] [Hammer Saint] [Bow Saint] [Fashion Police] [Monster Trainer] [Monster] [Tennis Master] [Furry] [Dragon Slayer] [Dragon] [Coward] [Bully] [Cad] [Thief] [Staff Saint] [Expert Driver] [Ace Pilot] [Horseman] [Heretic] [Anti-Pope] [Pope] [Double Jesus] [Photographer] [ESPer King] [Inventor] [Gourmand] [Entrepreneur] [Ultrapreneur] [Enchanter] [Drunkard] [Small Business Owner] [Cell Phonetrix] [Sk8r Boy] [Ultra Sk8r Boy] [World Savior] [God's Favorite] [Skeleton Killer] [Slaver] [Slave Tycoon] [Emancipator] [Great Emancipator] [Human Killer] [Monster Slaughterer] [Elf Killer] [Fish Slaughterer] [Kingslayer] [Artes Master] [Gold Rank Adventurer] [Slime Slayer] [Underdog] [Cult Crusher] [Legendary Hero]
Perks:
[Pocket Party]
Sword Artes:
[Double Slash] [Triple Slash] [One Thousand Slashes of Light] [One Thousand Slashes of Darkness] [Clothes-Cutting Slash] [Clothes-Cutting Slash (PG-13)] [Space Trimmer] [That one move where you cut something and then sheathe your sword and it doesn't look like you cut it but you really did and you like turn around and then it falls in half] [Anti-Slime Sword] [Adaptive Strike]
Culinary Artes:
[Summon Egg] [Precision Serving] [Acquire Taste] [Smell-o-vision] [Convert Food: Delicious] [Salvage Abomination]
Steak Artes:
[Double Grilling]
Cell Phone Artes:
[Minesweeper] [Internet Browser] [Calculator] [Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2] [Sahara Prime] [Monster Catching] [Camera] [Dating App] [Future Diary] [Cell Phone Sword] [Status HUD] [FoodHut] [Infinite Wallet] [UPC Scanner] [Pocket Storage] [Affinity Chart] [Headphone Jack] [Infinite Battery] [Solitaire] [Snake]
Slave Artes:
[Boost Attributes (Physical)] [Skill Synergy: Dragon Forme] [Skill Synergy: Pro Skater Forme] [DLC Costume Shop] [Gladiator Spirit]
Board Artes:
[Kickflip Slash] [Eternal Grind] [Biggie Head Mode] [Double Ollie] [Summon Board] [Grind on Air] [Triple Ollie] [Deflecting Deck] [Ultimate Board Arte: Kickflip]
Musical Artes:
[Play Any Instrument] [Ballad of Bravery] [Sonata of Stranth] [Ditty of Dexterity] [Serenade of Swoleness] [Karmic Klezmer] [Melody of Magic] [Musical Mojo] [Lullaby of Luck]
Magic Artes:
[Spell Conversion: Casting Time] [Spell Conversion: Duration] [Spell Conversion: Effect] [Spell Conversion: Distance] [Spell Conversion: Delay] [Spell Conversion: Mana Cost] [Spell Conversion: Target] [Flaming Spell] [Frostbitten Spell] [Radiant Spell] [Gloomy Spell] [Electric Spell] [Rocky Spell] [Wet Spell] [Draconic Might: Spell] [Funny Spell] [Piscine Spell] [Toxic Spell] [Spell Blade] [Double Cast] [Triple Cast] [Endless Font of Magic] [Spell Improvement] [Blood for Mana] [Research Spell] [Ultimate Magic Arte: Quadruple Cast]
Arte Artes:
[Use Two Artes at Once] [Meta Arte: Fire] [Meta Arte: Ice] [Meta Arte: Light] [Meta Arte: Darkness] [Meta Arte: Earth] [Meta Arte: Lightning] [Meta Arte: Air] [Meta Arte: Water] [Meta Arte: Surprise] [Meta Arte: Clown] [Meta Arte: Fish] [Arte Learning] [Artes Catalogue (Recursive)] [Recursive Arte] [Repeat Arte] [Copy Arte] [AI Generated Artes] [Ultimate Arte Arte: Unlimited Arte Works]
Jellymancy Artes:
[Jelly Splash]
Spells:
[Blaze Ollie - Lvl 10] [Thunder Grind - Lvl 10] [Thunder Wave - Lvl 1] [Frost Tycoon - Lvl 10] [Malamphosicet's Greater Illusion of 1000 Blades: Sword Art: Spell Sword: Magic Slash: "The Dusk Calls Me At Last, Onwards (Requiem) - Lvl 10] [Wind - Lvl 10] [Warp Reality] [Dimension Box] [Greatest Healing - Lvl 10] [Resurrection - Lvl 10] [Lightning Spear - Lvl 10] [Dark Blast - Lvl 10] [Dark Lash - Lvl 1] [Self-Destruct - Lvl 10] [Earthquake - Lvl 10] [Explosion - Lvl 10] [Dispel Curse] [Add Curse] [Unslave] [Charm Person] [Mind Lash] [Spirit Bomb] [Deus Ex Machina] [Meteor Storm] [Biscuit Hammer] [Cloudkill] [Summon Dakimakura] [Light] [Make Cube] [Create Shadow Clone No Bunshin] [Force Cage] [Create Food] [Bestow Flavor: Spicy] [Bestow Flavor: Umami] [Cloud of Cinnamon] [Create Scrumptious Reagent] [Mimic]
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DLC Perks:
[Vending Machine] [Gacha Emperor] [Cosmetic Pack 1] [Cosmetic Pack 2] [Battle Pass (Fall 2069)] [Alternate Costume: Clown] [Alternate Costume: Heavenly King] [Alternate Costume: Sexy Maid] [Doggirl Companion] [Companion Costume: Sexy Cowgirl] [Companion Costume: Sexy Maid] [Companion Costume: Sexy Shinobi] [Companion Costume: Sexy Nun] [Companion Costume: Sexy Actuary] [Companion Costume: Sexy Hazmat Suit] [EXP Boost] [Warp Reality]
Hmm... I'd improved a few skills yesterday, but hadn't leveled. Well... that was fine! We were going to be setting sail today, to chase down Ghostbeard and re-kill him. That should be enough to earn me a level or two. I made my way to the throne room. It seemed like there were less elves around for some reason. Maybe they were still sleeping, or out doing their water-skateboarding or whatever. They were at peace again, and it was thanks to me! And now I was going to make sure their primitive, lazy way of life was never disturbed again!
A cursory [X-Ray Vision] revealed that Wanda, Ciel, and Bonbon had left their rooms already. I guess I was the last one to wake up! That was a bit embarrassing! I quickly learned [Early Bird] using my [Instantly Learn Skill] skill. I didn't know what it did, but based on the name, I assumed it would probably help me wake up on time. I [Instant Transmission]ed to the Throne Room, to avoid being any later.
I popped into existence next to Ciel. She spun around, raising her mace to attack before realizing it was me.
"Huh?! Oh, it's Hiro-kun?" She lowered her weapon, placing a hand on her chest. "Sheesh! Don't do that, man! You scared me the crap outta me."
"Sorry about your crap," I apologized, giving her a token bow. I looked around the Throne Room. There were surprisingly few elves around, especially compared to last night. Bonbon was in a corner, but I wasn't counting her. I frowned. She was looking... pretty off. She was sitting on a bench in the corner, but was sagged to one side, her head hanging and arms limp. All the color had leeched out of her, so that she was just black and white lineart.
My heart clenched up, but then I saw that her eyes had become featureless circles rather than X's or disappearing entirely. Phew! For a second, I'd been worried that she was dead. She must have just been feeling bad for some reason. Maybe she had too much to drink, or had trouble sleeping last night.
Wanda knelt on the bench next to her, her body turned to face the elf as she whispered something in her ear. She'd changed back into one of her usual outfits, a loose-fitting, long-sleeved white shirt and some tight pants. I smiled warmly. I was glad to see two of my harem members getting along! Besides the two of them, Ciel was accounted for, wearing her usual armor. But... the second-most important person was nowhere to be seen. I activated [Elf Detection] just in case, but Bonbon was the only hit in the Throne Room, and the throne itself was empty.
"Huh?" I asked. "Where is the [King]?"
Ciel shrugged. "He's late, I guess?"
I scratched my cheek. He was... late? That seemed kind of odd. He didn't strike me as the kind of guy who would be late for anything. Had... something happened? Maybe somebody had... attacked him? What kind of monster would do something like that? I was just starting to compile a list of suspects when a door opened at the back of the hall, and a scrawny-looking elf came walking out. A cape was pinned around his neck, fanning out around his board shorts. A crown was perched on top of his head, and I saw with a shock that it was the same crown that the suit [King] had been using earlier! I quickly appraised him, using my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] Skill!
Name: [King] Stanley Dinn
Active Title: [King]
Faction: Sandcastle
Race: Beach Elf
Level: 8
EXP: 137/900
Skill Points:5
Gacha Coins: 0
HP: 400/400
MP: 50/50
SP: 75/75
Attributes:
Stranth: 15
Dexterity: 25
Swoleness: 20
Magic: 10
Karma: 150
Mojo: 2200
Luck: 89
Skills:
[Swimming Mastery - Lvl 3] [Surfing Mastery - Lvl 2] [Water Super Resistance - Lvl 1] [Beachcomber Mastery - Lvl 4] [Sunlight Resistance - Lvl 9] [Napping Mastery - Lvl 5] [Elf Eyes] [Elf Ears] [Ruler - Lvl 1] [King]
Titles:
[Elf] [King] [Surfer] [Patsy] [Swimmer] [Beach Bum] [Mook]
This was... another [King]? This city seemed to be going through them pretty quickly! Was that norm-
"Hiro-san... don't!" a voice shouted from behind me. I turned to look and saw that Bonbon had woken up from her stupor, and was leaning towards me as if she was trying to grab me. I was a little confused, both because her arm was at least 10 feet too short to actually grab me (unless she'd developed psychic powers in the several hours since I'd last Appraised her), but also because she was telling me not to do something.
I ignored my instinctual reaction to ignore her and do it out of defiance, mostly because I didn't know what she was talking about.
"Huh? Do what?"
She hesitated, drawing her hand about halfway back as her ears drooped from high alert to confusion.
"Um... don't- don't kill the [King]. That's not [King] Chad either."
"Huh?" I asked, staring at her incredulously. "Are you crazy? Why would I attack the [King]?"
"W-what? But you-"
I sighed, shaking my head. "Bonbon... haven't you ever heard of the 'rule of threes'? It'd be annoying if I just kept making the same joke over and over." I grinned a smile at her, holding up a finger educationally. "You have to know when enough is enough."
"Bwuh?"
I turned away from her confusion to turn back to this new [King], who was standing in front of the throne and looking at the coral-toothed seat. He took a sip from a coconut shell which I Appraised as having a [Pina Colada], then turned and sat down in front of the throne instead. From his cross-legged position on the ground, he addressed us, giving a friendly nod that shook the air with the gravitas befitting a monarch.
"Sup," he pronounced. "I'm the new [King], I guess."
"What happened to the guy in the suit?" I asked. The [King] looked over at his butler, who had followed in behind him.
"No, the other guy in the suit. The one with the freaky eyes."
"King Noah has relinquished his claim to the throne," the Butler informed me, "In order to pursue a joint business venture with Mr. Cornea."
"Who?"
"Skeletony, wan!"
"Oh, right."
"King Noah declared his royal majesty, [King] Stanley Dinn, as his successor. Long live the [King]!"
"[King] Dinn, your majesty!" Ciel shouted, dropping to one knee. Bonbon also bowed to him. I was feeling a bit put-on-the-spot, so I gave a quick bow as well.
The [King] chuckled awkwardly. "Whoah, babe. [King] Dinn is my father. You can just, like, call me Stan."
"Wan!" Wanda said happily. "If Noah is gone, does that mean we don't have to go after Ghostbeard, wan?"
[King] Stan shrugged. "Uhhh... I dunno what all Noah had you doing. You can, like... chill out if you want, or go do whatever."
Wanda's tail began wagging rapidly, and she looked over at me. "Wan! You hear that master? We don't have to go fight Ghostbeard, wan!"
I gave her headpats of acknowledgement, but polite refusal.
"No," I said, clenching my fist (not the one patting her head). "I still have a score to settle with Ghostbeard. He humiliated me in front of everyone. I can't let him get away with that."
Her face fell, her ears drooping. Her tail wags reduced to a subdued 1 wag/second. "W...wan!" she exclaimed. "Master, that can wait! We should spend a few more days uh... doing beach stuff, wan!"
More beach stuff? The idea was a little tempting, I had to admit, but we'd already worn out our welcome. A beach episode should really only be a few chapters at best! We'd spent the better part of the book in this crappy beach town already! It was time to move on.
"It's time to move on, Wanda," I told her. Then, to [King] Stan, I asked: "Do you have a boat we can borrow to go subjugate the shit out of Ghostbeard?"
The Beach King gave a non-committal wave, flipping his hand to gesture out towards the right of the palace. "Yeah, man, probably. Take whatever you need. Mi barca es tu barca."
I was impressed that they apparently also had Dog-girl [Slaves] here, but Wanda was already almost too much for me to handle. She was currently hanging from my arm and giving me puppydog eyes. The combination of her pressing her body against me and looking up at me with big eyes was causing me to receive message after message of negated [Emotional Damage].
Nnggh... even with my [Emotional Damage Invulnerability], this was tough! But I couldn't let her stop me.
"We'll be going then! Thank you for uh..." I hesitated, thinking about what exactly I had to thank him for. I nodded, eventually settling on "You're welcome."
----------------------------------------
"Wan! Master, you know what would be great? If we go back to the [Paladin] order!"
We were walking in the rough direction the [King] had pointed. I wasn't sure what he had meant, but Ciel pointed out that there was a dock with a few ships on it further down the beach. We were headed over there. They'd probably have a better idea of where to find a boat I could use.
"You could do more pudding wrestling, wan!" Wanda continued, tagging along close behind me, giving me a cute, charming smile. She half-lidded her eyes, falling into a cheeky, seductive expression as she leaned in close to me. "I bet I could even convince Bonbon and Ciel to join in, wan!"
My face exploded into a blush, steam pouring from my ears. I shook my head fervently.
"N-no, that would be..." That would be way too much to handle! It was one thing to get cool fanservice of background NPCs who existed purely for the cheesecake, but if it were my harem members... it'd have to be WAY more gratuitous and pandering to really draw in the sweaty fans! No... I had to refuse. I didn't have time for that right now. I gave her my manliest smile and flashed a thumbs up.
"Wanda, there comes a time in every man's life where he has to ship out to sea to kill a ghost. I must answer to my masculine urges. I know there's a lot of things you don't understand, but this is just one of them."
She frowned at me, and her eyes glinted dangerously.
"Hiro-san. I know you tend to find some shiny bauble to tear your attention away when I attempt to speak to you in a serious manner, but please listen to me now, because this is important. I can't tell you why or how I came upon this knowledge, but if we leave now, something terrible is going to happen, wan. If we-"
"Huh?" I asked, the sound of hammering and sawing attracting my attention suddenly. I turned away from her to seek out its source. I found it at once: A new building being built along a stretch of beach. I quickly made a beeline towards it to go gawk. Wanda sighed behind me, but followed along silently. She was clearly upset about something, but I wasn't sure what. I'd have to remember to get her a nice treat later, like a bone or a stick or something.
I glanced behind me. Bonbon was still looking pretty depressed as well. Ciel seemed fine, but 2/3 of my girls were upset! I'd have to figure out some way to cheer them both up. For right now, though, I wanted to see what was going on with this new building. It was decently far along already. A foundation had been laid, and framing was going up now.
"Wait, was this here yesterday?" Ciel asked all of the sudden. "I don't remember seein' it when we were playing on the beach."
Bonbon scrutinized the workmanship, then shook her head. "It... had to have been. At the rate [Beach Elves] build, this would be at least half a year of work."
She had a good point, but I didn't remember seeing this last night either! If they'd built it during the night, then it'd gone up with speed bordering on spooky. As we drew closer, I quickly found out why:
ALL OF THE WORKMEN WERE SKELETONS!
I let out a quiet gasp and started to unsheathe my katana, but blueballed my blade as I caught a glimpse of a familiar [Italian] out of the corner of my eye. Skeletony and the ex-[King] Noah were standing out front, holding a set of blueprints. Skeletony was speaking animatedly, indicating things on the blueprint to a [Skeleton] with the number 4 painted on its skull. I made a beeline towards them to see what was going on.
As I drew closer, Skeletony waved the [Skeleton] off. It gave a quick salute then walked away, rattling its bones to convey intricate non-verbal instructions to the rest of the [Skeleton Laborers], who were taking a milk break. Skeletony spread his arms wide as he saw me.
"Hey hey hey! It's Hiro-sama himself! Are youse seein' this?" He gestured towards the building under construction. "It ain't even been a full week, and we're already buildin' a second location! Noah here's bankrollin' the operation."
Noah laughed, adjusting his tie as he stared at the frame of the building. "This is just the beginning," He prophesied. "Before too long, we'll have a Skeletony's in every major city on the seaboard. Then, we'll spread inwards, hitting the capitals first, then all major cities from there. Until we've achieved Total. Global. Saturation."
"Cool," I replied.
"We're going to upset the equilibrium of the restaurant business! Enact a full paradigm shift!"
"Wow."
"This 'delivery' service is going to completely upend everything that..."
He continued to drone on and on about business-related stuff, so I quickly activated all of my magic [Skills] to cast [Create Shadow Clone No Bunshin]. Four copies of me appeared, listening attentively to his bullshit and occasionally nodding. I activated my [Sneak King] skill to quickly sneak past him, heading for the docks. I was glad that Skeletony was expanding his business. I was a big fan of pizza, after all! But I wasn't about to sit and listen to a verbal powerpoint when I had something more important to do!
I discreetly cast [Explosion - Lvl 10] into the air to signal my true position to my party, and then headed with them towards the docks. We arrived at once, and I immediately set to work investigating the various boats to find the best option. I'd want something fast, and preferably with a lot of weapons! If this world didn't have gunpowder, they probably didn't have cannons, since I was 60% sure cannons needed gunpowder to work. I wasn't sure what ship-to-ship combat looked like before cannons, but it probably involved the big stick on the front of the ship.
I quickly flew up to the deck of the ship with the longest stick. A sailor swabbing the deck jerked back in surprise as I landed, but I ignored him and turned to call down to my harem members on the docks below.
"I'm gonna check this one out! You guys check the others!"
With that handled, I quickly turned and went below-decks.