That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:
Season 1, Ep 7(+8): That time I was reincarnated in another world and ran into a skeleTON of enemies
"Nnggh!" I said out loud, struggling against the steel cuffs the [Police Cops] had clamped around my wrists. I couldn't believe what was happening! I was being arrested already, and I hadn't even had any opportunity to commit any crimes yet! I wasn't planning to be a criminal or anything, but as a cool Isekai protagonist, I was at least hoping to get away with some of the cool ones like justified assault of some jerk, breaking and entering into random houses and stealing shit from drawers, tax evasion, breaking pots, and high treason. I hadn't even had a chance to get started!
More importantly, if I was arrested, I wouldn't be able to stop Skeletony Cornea, confirmed bad guy and probably some kind of bonehead, from doing a big ol' fucky-wucky with the Adventurer's Guild. I had to act now, before he got away. I was the only one who could possibly stop him.
I flexed all the muscles in my wrist and strained against the handcuffs. The metal creaked as I grit my teeth and groaned over my breath.
"I... I can break these cuffs..." I growled, using a fraction of my strength, just enough that I could look badass while I was struggling. The [Police Cops] merely chuckled as he sternly shook his head in my direction.
"You can't break those cuffs," he taunted me. I furrowed my brow. I may have been struggling in vain, but I refused to have my efforts be conceded.
I grinned a smile, and put another fraction of my strength in, as well as my secret weapon: the [Arrest Resistance] skill I had just gained, in the previous chapter, which was immediately proving useful. The cuffs snapped instantly, being unable to hold up against the [Arrest Resistance] skill. Thanks, Kamiko! If I hadn't gained that skill just then, I would have had to rely solely on my ability to exert several megatons of force, and I don't know enough math to know if that would have been enough.
The police officer stared down in horror at the broken cuffs, then stared up, backwards, up again, and down as I thoroughly thrashed him in a flashy, high-budget action sequence that I refuse to describe here. The cop stared weakly up at me as I kicked aside his spear.
"Look," I explained, "I'm sorry to have to do this, but you have to understand that I'm above the law."
The cop groaned and struggled to his knees. "Y-you'll pay for this!" he swore. His partner nodded.
"Nobody gets to disobey the law while we're around, unless you're extremely wealthy or a politician!" she announced. "And you don't look like a sexual deviant at all!"
"Looks can be deceiving," I chuckled, "But more importantly, I'm more important than any king or merchant."
I patted my chest in a way I hoped inspired awe and trust, and shot her the sanest look I could manage.
"I'm on a mission from God."
She rolled her eyes, scoffing at me. "You really expect me to believe that?"
"Yes."
"Oh!" She gasped, "Well, why didn't you just say so from the start?" She removed the rest of my handcuffs, and handed me her spear.
"Go in peace, brave hero," she commanded, before saluting and turning to leave with her partner, looking for some poor people to beat the shit out of.
I watched them disappear violently into the sunset, with a twinkle in my eye, before turning back to the Adventurer's Guild. That was close! I barely escaped with the skin of my teeth, and I hadn't even confronted the bad guy yet! I quickly strode into the Adventurer's Guild, drinking in the details, and a fruity cocktail I'd grabbed from an unattended table.
The guild was pretty typical, all things considered. There was a tavern and family restaurant attached, where all kinds of murderers-for-hire were having ribald fun, throwing beer into the air and all that kind of stuff. There was a counter where you could come up to get your Adventurer Trading Card, as well as take [Quests] and collect [Quest] rewards. On the other side of the hall was a ticket counter, where you could exchange your [Quest] reward for candy or small toys. I stared in awe at the scooter at the top of the wall. Maybe someday if I gathered enough tickets, I could buy it, but... was such a thing even possible?
I shook my head free of my thoughts. No. I had a mission to do. I pushed my way through the crowd and towards the dance floor, which was positioned right in front of the standard Adventurer's Guild stage. It looked like there was a band of golems performing, each in festive anthropomorphic animal shapes, probably powered by children's souls or something. I didn't have time to deal with that. I was here to find the man who would be behind the slaughter.
I spotted him at once, the jangling of his gold chains and/or rattling bones rising above the din of the crowd. He was out on the middle of the dance floor, either dancing or possibly having an extremely animated seizure.
"Hey, you!" I shouted across the room, jabbing towards him with one finger. "I've come to stop your heinous crimes!"
Skeletony turned and frowned at me. "Hey, my dancing ain't that bad!" he insisted.
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I opened my mouth to argue, but gasped in shock as he did a perfect back handspring into front handspring into side handspring into dutch corkscrew into Forbidden Worm. His dancing was... too powerful! I had to activate my [Surprise Invulnerability] to force myself from reeling back in shock.
"T-that may be!" I admitted, "But I meant all the murders and stuff like that."
"Oh," he replied, casting a spell and summoning 12d6 skeletons, which began to assault the guild. "That."
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Chaos erupted in the Adventurer's Guild, as suddenly a swarm of skeletons sprang into being, brandishing swords, bits of wood, clubs, and sticks of dynamite as they menaced the poor, defenseless tavern-goers.
The myriad medley of murderhobos took one look at the skeletons, before looking over at me and realizing that I had called dibs. Despite the fact that Skeletony was a presumably wanted criminal, and one of the Demon Lord's notorious [Elite Four], they knew that I had priority, and so were honor-bound and restricted by Adventurer's Guild regulations to stand on the sidelines and possibly make canny observations as I fought one-on-one with the villain.
First, I had to know what I was up against. I glanced at the nearest skeleton and used my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] Skill.
Basic Bitch Skeleton
Level: 1
[Summoned Creature]
HP: 150/150
MP: 10/10
SP: 25/25
Attributes:
Stranth: 20
Dexterity: 10
Swoleness: 10
Magic: 2
Karma: -100
Mojo: 0
Luck: 5
Skills: [Slashing Resistance - Lvl 1] [Stabbing Resistance - Lvl 1] [Vulnerability - Light] [Vulnerability - Crushing] [Swordsman Lvl 1]
I swore under my breath as I saw that. Slashing resistance... and stabbing resistance to boot? My sword would be all but useless against that! My damage would be reduced by at least 5%! That meant that for every 19 skeletons I killed in one hit, the 20th would be completely invulnerable! I would have to figure out some other way to beat these summons! I reached out and crushed a skeleton's skull in my fist, and another's skull between my thighs, as my mind raced trying to find some kind of strategy to win the fight.
I looked over to my opponent, to see him summoning even MORE skeletons. My jaw dropped in shock, killing another skeleton. How could a simple, everyday Demon Lord's Lieutenant possibly be this potent as a calciumancer? I had to resort to using some of my better abilities to get past this threat! I reached out my hand and cast a spell:
"[Lightning Spear - Lvl 10]!" I shouted, as a blast of electricity shot from my palm, smashing into a skeleton and exploding it into bits before splitting off into a baker's dozen smaller spears, which likewise blasted into more skeletons and split again, in a shocking display of power. The skeletons were reduced to dust, and when the dust cleared, the skeletons were gone.
"How about that?" I asked, grinning confidently. "I've destroyed all of your skeletons in one fell swoop. I'm on to your games. Unless you've got some other kind of cool trick up your sleeve, your spine-tingling tour of terror is over!"
In response, Skeletony flashed me a greasy yet endearing smile, his gold tooth glinting like some kind of precious metal.
"Oh," he lilted, his singsong voice thick with coquettish irony, "Just one."
With that, he lifted his hands and began to cast a spell. I quickly examined it using one of my magic Skills. I don't remember which because I honestly have no fucking idea which Skill does what, so I just activate all of them whenever I want to do anything remotely magical. To my horror, I saw the spell he was trying to cast:
[Summon Tons of Fucking Skeletons Lvl 6]
I couldn't let him cast that spell! The fate of the entire world might be at stake here! But... would any of my spells be powerful enough to stop him before he finished casting it? I appraised him once more. There had to be some kind of weakness I could exploit!
Name: Skeletony Cornea
Active Title: [Elite Four]
Faction: Demon Lord's Army
Race: Skeleton
Level: 54
EXP: 7259/15000
Skill Points: 50
Gold Stars: 2
Gacha Coins: 36
HP: 4250/4250
MP: 103/215
SP: 1050/1200
FP: 3/3
Attributes:
Stranth: 198
Dexterity: 150
Swoleness: 175
Magic: 72
Karma: -1285
Mojo: 6500
Luck: 55
Skills:
[Jumping Mastery - Lvl 3] [Swagger Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Advanced Swagger] [Running Basics - Lvl 9] [Climbing Mastery - Lvl 2] [Crawling Basics - Lvl 2] [Swimming Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Motorboat Legs] [Cooking Supremacy - Lvl 3] [Punching Super-Resistance Lvl 2] [Slashing Super-Resistance Lvl 6] [Stabbing Invulnerability] [Vulnerability - Light] [Vulnerability - Pineapple Pizza] [Shame Invulnerability] [Stubbornness Lvl 6] [Greater Swordsman Lvl 4] [Stunning Slash] [Skeleton Command] [Skeleton Cloak] [Skeleton Warp] [Skeletal Form] [Disguise Lvl 5] [Steal] [Greater Skeleton Magic] [Lesser Dark Magic] [Magic Conscription] [Magic Perception] [Magic Casting] [Lesser MP Regeneration] [HP Regeneration] [SP Regeneration]
Spells:
[Summon Skeleton Lvl 10]
[Summon Tons of Fucking Skeletons Lvl 6]
[Bone Zone Lvl 5]
[Skeleton Sword Lvl 3]
[Darkbolt Lvl 2]
Titles:
[Elite Four] [Skeleton Lord] [Italian] [Swordsman] [Villain] [Human Killer] [Iron Chef] [Demon Lord's General] [Bully] [Thief]
A weakness. Any weakness! He had to have some kind of vulnerability I could exploit. Think... Swords? No, he had [Stabbing Invulnerability] and [Slashing Super-Resistance Lv 6]. Punching? No, he had [Punching Super-Resistance Lvl 2]. Then... suddenly, it came to me! I was startled that it had taken me so long to realize. After all, it had been staring me right in the face!
He had [Shame Invulnerability], along with [Steal]! And the fact that he had 36 Gacha Coins meant that he had spent several of them, because a quick glance at this world's In-World Shop with my [Brain Cellphone] told me that Gacha Coins were only sold in packs of 50, 100, and higher, up to a maximum of 10 billion. I quickly nodded to myself and bought 10 billion Gacha Coins using my [Infinite Wallet] Skill, to store for later. I knew his weakness:
He was a Gacha whale. And that meant...
"Take this!" I shouted, and threw a bag of gold coins directly at his feet. His eyes widened and he looked down in blatant, undisguised cashlust at the filthy lucre that was enticing him within its canvas lingerie. He dropped his spell, cancelling it mid-cast, as his mind hamster-wheeled its way to the conclusion, and he reached down for the bag.
I had him now!
"Take this!" I shouted, again, and blasted out at him with one of my highest offensive spells, [Dark Blast].
A coursing ball of pure darkness coursed forth, its course set dead on his eyes, which were looking up at me from the bag of coins, wistful and forlorn as he knew his end was at hand.
A sort of peace settled over him as he accepted his fate, and shook his head sadly.
"Ah fuck. Ah, god damn it. Son of a bitch," he mused.