That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:
Quest 29 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and went on my first official quest
"Alright!" I shouted, drawing the gaze of everybody in the Adventurer's Guild. Most of them turned back to their business after a second or two, but a pair of catgirls in the ball pit gave me a scowl. I nodded to myself. That probably meant they were totally into me. But I had bigger things on my mind than pussies right now. I had to take a quest!
I made my way to the counter, doing my best to swagger confidently. Wanda fell into step behind me, her eyes dilating wildly, probably in excitement, as she looked around the room. I followed her gaze to the Dance Dance Insurgency machine on the second floor. That did look fun, but...
"Maybe later, Wanda," I promised her, "This quest is too important for us to pass up."
Wanda tore her gaze away from the machine and gave me a confused look. "Important, wan?"
I nodded. "That's right. I may be rich, powerful, and handsome, but there's still something important I'm missing."
"Self-respect and dignity?" Wanda asked.
"No," I shook my head, "Something much more important and worthwhile than that: Fame."
Wanda put a finger on the side of her mouth in a cute, ditzy way. "I guess those are rather mutually-exclusive, wan."
I gave her headpats just for being cute as a button, and stepped up to the counter. The hot busty anime babe receptionist wasn't there, so I turned and leaned backwards against the counter to give Wanda more exposition.
"I'm very cool," I assured both her and myself, "but nobody knows anything about me. If I want to get a princess in my harem, I've gotta start by impressing the king, right? I figure if I do enough quests, I'll get invited to the castle and he'll tell me to date his daughter."
Wanda gave me a dubious look, chewing thoughtfully on a slice of pizza she'd rescued from somebody's plate. She swallowed her bite and beamed a big ol' smile at me. "Wan! Master is a smart Master!" she barked, definitely not sarcastically.
"I think there are a few flaws in your plan," a super hot busty anime voice said from behind me. I turned to sneak a peek and jumped back (forward) in shock as the receptionist was standing at her work station behind me.
"Whoah!" I said, dramatically emoting my surprise because I thought it'd be cool. I settled back down and put my hands on my hips. A problem with my plan?"
"What problem?" I asked. Suddenly, I had a spark of thought in my brainmeat and my eyes widened a little bit.
"Wait..." I said quietly, "I guess you're right. I don't even know if this kickass Isekai GameLit RPG Fantasy world starter village belongs to a kingdom. And I also don't even know if he has any daughters. I guess it's kind of a stretch to assume that there's some King handing out princesses just because it's a fantasy world."
"Well... no, there is," the receptionist admitted reluctantly. She seemed ashamed somehow, on a meta level. "But he only grants an audience to Gold Rank Adventurers or higher."
Damn! A princess was so close, but so far! If I wanted to get the recognition I deserved, I'd have a lot of grinding to do! Thankfully, grinding was one of the few things I prided myself on. I gestured meaningfully to my skateboard, but since I hadn't said my joke out loud, the receptionist and Wanda just looked at me in confusion.
Still, all of this fun and cool worldbuilding did nothing to address my main problem: nobody knew who I was! Hadn't Kamiko Isekai-ed me to this world to be some kind of big damn hero? I was a [Hero] already, but was neither big nor damn yet.
"I need to get some quests!" I declared. "What kind of cool epic quests do you have?"
The receptionist slapped a piece of parchment down on the counter without saying a word. The impact filled the scene with a sudden, intense gravitas that was almost ruined by the gratuitous jiggling of her breasts that lasted a good 30 seconds. After that was finished, I scrutinized the paper.
"'Collect 30 [Slime Asses]'?" I read. "Do Slimes have Asses?"
If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.
I looked to Wanda for confirmation, but she just gave me a nonchalant shrug from over at the whack-a-mole machine that she had retreated to. I furrowed my brow at the paper. So, this was... a collection quest?
"I know it might not be what you expect, when you became an [Adventurer]," the receptionist consoled me, "but it's important to note that-"
"This is great!" I shouted gleefully, ignoring whatever unimportant thing she'd been saying. "This is just like one of my Isekai Animes!"
Truth be told, this hadn't exactly been the most stress-free Isekai Badass Fantasy Reincarnation LitRPG Adventure I had expected when Kamiko resurrected me. But, it looked like my luck was changing! I was finally going to experience the real thrilling adventure of performing menial labor for a bureaucratic, centralized entity! My pupils became stars, which usually happens when I'm very excited, or having an allergic reaction.
"Wanda, let's go hunt some slimes!" I shouted.
"UUOOH!" Wanda shouted in return, making an inarticulate but very cute anime girl noise. I snatched the paper from the counter and rushed out of the Adventurer's Guild, with Wanda close behind.
----------------------------------------
I caught my board and did a triple-frontflip to land on the top parapet of the Kickass LitRPG Isekai Fantasy Starter Village's wall, staring down at the outside world. There were some shouts from below, and after a few moments, Wanda came scrabbling up the wall, vaulting the edge as she cleared the last few feet.
"They should have sent a poet..." I said, staring down at the world outside the city. The breathtaking vista of a bunch of hills or whatever filled me with some kind of emotion. I stared down at the deadly monsters stomping about within sight of the city's wall, and the various adventures fighting them.
"Convenient," I noted,"But crowded. There are so many adventurers out there, it'll take us forever to get our quest done."
"Wan! Easy quests are usually popular!" She concurred. I rubbed at my chin, staring down at the crowds of mages and warriors below. A fenced-off area nearby had a long queue of Adventurer's waiting their turn to fight. This was... not ideal! If only there were some way for me to...
Suddenly, I gasped, and then came up with a brilliant idea!
"Wanda, I have a brilliant idea!"
"What is it, wan?"
I didn't immediately elaborate, but instead tossed my board out to the side and began grinding my way along the city wall. I did a few pop shoveits while I made my way not to the front of the city... but to the back. I grinned a smile as the wilderness came into view. As I came to a stop, Wanda caught up to me.
"You see?" I asked her, gesturing out to the untouched wilderness behind the village. "Everybody knows about the usual grinding spots, but with my superior intellect, I was able to discover a secret hunting grounds, behind the city!"
Sure enough, there wasn't a person to speak of out there. Slimes and other assorted monsters swarmed the hills unmolested. But they wouldn't stay that long! Soon, their asses would be mine!
I grinned to Wanda, then threw my board out into the air, before leaping onto it. I immediately began sliding down the outside of the wall.
"We'll be heading over this way," I shouted to Wanda. "There's nobody over here, which means that's probably where the best slimes are!"
I hit the bottom of the ground, but used a texture glitch off a small rock to treat it like a ramp and shoot off across the ground rather than just fucking die on impact. Wanda came running after me, but was falling behind. I sighed a bit to myself. I had forgotten to get that scooter at the Adventurer's Guild. I looked mournfully out at the rocky hills filled with knee-high grass. It was a skateboarder's paradise, but...
I sighed and got off the board so that Wanda could catch up. She ran up and I gave her headpats for trying her best. She flashed me an irritated glare of appreciation, which I ignored in favor of running up to the nearest slime I could see and instantly killing it with a single swing of my katana.
"ENEMY SLAIN" Robo-Kamiko said in my head. I had defeated the basic, entry-level starter mob, and I didn't even need to use a [Skill] or an [Arte]! This would be easy!
"Wan!" Wanda declared, springing forwards to deliver a brutal frontflip heel kick to a slime, which burst on impact. "Easy pickings!"
I smiled at her and ran along further, killing slimes with each swing as the fighting drew the attention of more of them. I tightened my grip on my katana.
"[One Thousand Slashes of Darkness]" I shouted, activating my Arte. An uncountable number of shadow blades coursed out past the reach of my sword, cross-hatching a line across the countryside. Several dozen unlucky slimes popped like water balloons as my attack reached them!
"ENEMY SLAIN"
"ENEMY SLAIN"
"ENEMY SLAIN"
"ENEMY SLAIN"
...
"ENEMY SLAIN"
"ENEMY SLAIN"
"ENEMY SLAIN"
!!!~~~~~LEVEL UPPU~~~~~!!!
You are now Level 3 0v0!!!!
5 Skill Points Gained!
Skill Gained: [Drop Collection Basics]
Skill Gained: [Dark Attack Basics]
Title Gained: [Slime Killer]
Karma++!
"Ah!" I shouted. "I leveled up!"
"Congratulations, Wan!" Wanda replied, bashing another Slime's head in with a rock, hitting it over and over as slime splashed across her face.
"This is so easy!" I laughed. "I wonder why all the other Adventurers never bothered with this place?!"
"Probably the [King Slimes]!" Wanda suggested, punching her clawed fist into another Slime and ripping out its core.
"The what?" I asked. In response, Wanda only made a loud thumping noise and shook the earth, like somebody had dropped an above-ground pool from a few stories up. I looked over at her in confusion before realizing that that hadn't been her. A shadow fell over me, and I slowly turned to look at its source.
A massive slime loomed over me, towering about half the height of the city wall, which was itself 600 meters tall (TL Note: 600 meters in a fantasy story is about 60 feet). It jiggled in the sunlight, its blue goo the shade of a blue raspberry gummy candy. A golden crown the size of a sedan was perched atop its head, and it seemed to warble menacingly down at me. I wondered briefly what had gotten it so upset, before realizing it was probably all of the slime murders I had just done.
I gulped as I stared up at it. It was a hard and fast rule of RPGs that the bigger a monster it was, the stronger it was! I decided to appraise it using my appraisal skill, [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)], making sure to only appraise its name for dramatic effect.
[King Slime]
I clenched my sword in my hand. T-this looked like it was going to be tough!