Novels2Search

[VOL.3] (4th_Bullet) - When You Hear Golden Shower -- Run.

:: Dear Diary: … We made it, the possible location of where the Vampire Clan could be hiding. I really hope this mission is worth it. I’m practically betting my entire life on a piece of golden corn and buffalo hide… I could turn back now… but I don’t know why… I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep peacefully if I don’t at least bring back the Chieftain’s daughter! ::

[https://66.media.tumblr.com/572f45ad3ccb6622a0d8a75591cbb043/tumblr_pnr1czw6jv1wqnuuso1_1280.pnj]

"...N-Nello, I think I found her! Th-this is Lily Tiger! I know it!"

"Hold up... How come the Cheiftain's Daughter... looks like a regular puppy!?"

Pastrache was excited.

Even though she was heading towards the gates of h*ll known as the Vampire Conclave in the middle of shady badlands, she need not have to step into that plane of the undead in order to fulfill her missions.

Somehow, the mission objective came up to her... like a stray dog...

... Wait, i-is that a Scottish Terrier licking at her palms!?

"Yes! She's a canine, and she smells terrible..... It's confirmed, this little fellow is definitely a girl! She doesn't have a ding-dong!"

"... Big Sis, I don't think you should hold the dog upside down like that. It might pee on you."

"What are you talking about, Nello? Werewolves are smarter than that, of course they know when to hold-----OH MY GOD! TH-THIS THING ALMOST P*SSED ON MY FACE!"

The Half-Elf hoped to finish the job with as little as energy or resources as possible. Even though she had prepared for a long trip and stocked on on water, food, and supplies, she honestly prayed to the Goddess of Adventurers that she could get the f**k out and still get paid for it.

Like that moment when your 'friends' drag you into a haunted mansion.

You've done your due dilligence in following these @ssholes past the front door, now let you go so you can go home and bath yourself in holy water!

That kind of feeling, you know.

But all the chances for achieving a happy ending was dashed... more like drowned out... when the dog the Half-Elf was holding starting to let loose a golden shower at her.

Luckily, her DEXTIERITY score was high enough, she passed her 'NotGetHitByUrine' Check with flying colors.

".......N...Nello... it's P*ssing on my boot."

"Maybe because it thinks your shoe is a fire hydrant. It's pretty red."

"Wh-what the h*ll is this fire hydrant!? I-I don't want one near my house, EVER! And for the record, these blue boots were brand new before I left the capital! All this trekking in the dead sand just ripped the paint off to the point of being terra cotta! Now it's stinks of a toilet! Someone pay for my mental trauma!"

"... Um... I don't know about you, Big Sis, but that's definitely not the Chieftain's Daughter."

"Nello... If you were a real boy, I would proudly spank you until apologize."

"I-I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!"

"I said - until you apologized wholeheartedly........Geeegh. My boots are ruined!"

Nello backed away. It was only natural when he saw his companion started to kick her one foot around to flick off the excess wet stuff from the tip of her boots. Tank or not, no one wanted to be hit by such yellow storm. Especially while youre standing in the middle somewhere that was right outside the border of Las Vegas.

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

There were no restroom or gas stations in a fantasy world to let you wash your hands. Civilization here wasn't that convenient.

That was why, Pastrache did everyhing in her power to not even touch her shoe, ever.

<< Your Hydration Level are below critical. Please drink water. >> << Your Core Temperature is now climbing into the red zone. >> << The chance of achieveing a Heat Stroke has increased by 20% >>

"Ah no good. My dehydration status is telling me I'm in the red zone. If this keeps up, I'll surely gain the Delirium Status and go on this drunken rampage... Nello, if worse comes to worse.. please make sure Big Sis doesn't strip and dance around in the sands."

"....................................."

"... G-geh!? N-nello, d-don't tell me th-that you've suddenly grown up to the point of being c-curious of a woman's body!? Wh-what happened to my baby brother? Wh-when did you become corrupted like that--GASP! IS IT THAT RAVEN WH*RE!? ALL THAT PROPOSITIONING HER BODY SO YOU CAN BECOME HER MAGICAL PET HAS RUINED YOUR INNOCENT! WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS SAND TRAP - I'LL F**KING GUT HER!" 

".........................................."

".......Nello! Are you listening to me!? Look at people when they're talking to you! Cough! Hack! Ah, no good. My throat is cracking. Gaaaah! J-just swallowing feels like I'm shoving needles down my throat! Gauuggh! I-it hurts, b-but I can't stop swallowing my saliva!"

"... Um Big Sis."

"Hnnng. It's so hot here... Maybe I-I should take off my top and--NO! PASTRACHE MOONEYE WHAT THE H*LL ARE YOU DOING WOMAN!? YOU CAN'T FORSAKE YOUR CHASTITY JUST TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL COMFORTABLE! I-I DON'T WANT TO BE PART OF THIS EXPERIMENT WHEN YOU'RE NAKED AND AFRAID!"

".......Big Sis."

"Wh-what is it Nello? Your sister is busy taking off her pants---GYAAAAAAAAH! SOMEONE STOP MY DELIRIUUUUUUM!"

"Is that the city we're looking for?"

".........................Sh*t. it's only two blocks away."

Maybe it was because there was a series of sandstorms going on in the distance, so most of the wind in the area kicked up enough sand to distort their visual horizon. Once the phenomenon was cleared away, the Half-Elf could see what looked like a small series of ruined buildings.

A Corpse of a city so to speak sitting on sand, gravel, and rocks.

[https://thumbs.gfycat.com/SadDiscreteGossamerwingedbutterfly-size_restricted.gif]

There were no gates, but a series of disconnected fences, with rusted lanterns swinging in the winds. There was no sign dangling from the main 'welcoming' post that stood as the gate.

Only three mummified bodies swinging on irons and rope by the neck.

Judging by their skeletal features, they look human. Judging by their worn clothing and some pieces of armor, they look like they were Level 40 Adventurers. 

One of them had 10 knives stuffed into the groin area... Which makes only one wonder... was it a boy or a girl?

"........... Nope. This isn't the city, Nello. It's somewhere else. Let's go. Now."

"But Big sis. There's no other place for miles. I could see with my magnified scope. This is the only place. And it has the same name that the nice lady at the church told you before we left. How could we be wrong?" 

"Not listening! Not istening! Hey, let's go! Hey let's go! As happy as can beeeeeee! Let's go walking you and me! Ready set come on let's--"

".......Big Sis, do you see that writing on the wall?... Wh-what does it say.....F...Free......Water?"

"MUSH NELLO! MUSH! ONWARD TO VICTORY!"

"Nuwoooh!? Wh-why is Big Sis suddenly riding on my head! Ew! Ew! You're wet boot is on my eye! Big Siiiiiiiis!"

"What are you waiting for, Nello!? They have free water to spare! Not only will it heal my dehydration status, but we could refill your water tank to cool whatever powered core you have!"

"...Um... I'm okay. I don't need to drink and--"

"HIGH HO, NELLO! AWAAAAAAAY!"

"BIG SIS! YOUR BOOT! YOUR BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!"

[https://i.imgur.com/QRjLNTz.gif]