<< Message Addressed to PASTRACHE MOONEYE & NELLO T-34-85 >> << CONGRATULATIONS: You both have been cordially invited to a celebration!! >> << ????? would like for you to join in their Company's New Year Gathering at the Bunny Club >> << Message Comments: Tanks are allowed. Please no live ammunition. >> << Do you accept invitation? (Y/N) >>

“Oh, look, Nello. We got an invitation to join this New’s Party…H-heh? B-Bunny Cliub? Wh-why does it sound like a place for rich people with perverted ideals to visit and cuddle with frivolous girls in cheap bunny suits!?”

“……..I don’t know what Big Sis is talking about, but a New Year’s Party sounds like fun! I’ve never been to one…or… any other party…..Not even a birthday party. Uuuuh.”

"N-nello! P-please don't cry! B-Big Sis is here for you!"

Once upon a time, in a certain alternate fantasy world, there was this beautiful Half-Elf with daddy issues and her friend that was a T-34 Soviet Tank transmigrated from the Battle of Stalingrad.

Their names were Pastrache and Nello, respectively.

Upon returning from one of their many dangerous, perilous, and downright clumsy bizarre adventures, they received this peculiar invitation via the Ethereal Net Drive's Mystical Window Messaging System.

The girl Pastrache would examine the invitation closely with narrows eyes. She was trying to see if the holographic screen before her eyes, was authentic or not. Deep down, she was fraid this was what we call Scam Mail.

“…I don’t know. It says the location of this so-called club isn't familiar on our maps. And it’s rather far away from the capital city we're in… I'm not 100% sure if we should wander into such uncharted territories."

“Don’t Worry Big Sis, I’ll protect you!”

“Oh Nello I love you so much. As much as I appreciate you using your metal plated body as my shield, I'm not sure if this is actually a trap designed to counteract someone like you. I mean, it did invited both of us, even writing down our names. They must know who you are if they're being this bold. Who knows, maybe they've established spells that specialize in piercing through heavy armor, breaking off the tracks on your legs, or even disable your fire nose from shooting like a thunderstorm."

“G-guh!? A-Anti tank mines!? Th-they’re the worst! I-I’ve seen to many tanks, both Russian and German, go up in fire whenever they roll their feet over one………Now I’m scared. I don't want to go now. I want to stay here.”

"I agree, Nello. So let's just press the B for No and—Wait! Wait a minute! I-I just scrolled to the bottom of the message, a-and it says it's offering us s-something called a New Year's Bonus Pay in our currency! A-and, and... Holy sh*t! Lo-look at that cr*p ton of special experience points they're going to give me upon arriving! Wh-why, with these numbers I could clearly jump from Level 10 to exceed Level 18 in a fortnite! We're definitely going!"

“H-heh? B-big Sis changed her mind so fast!? Wh-what about th-the anti-tank mine traps!?”

“Have no fear! With this Bonus pay they’re offering, I’ll buy you a new body with a cooler nose☆.”

“Big Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!”

And so, the greedy—Er, beautiful Half-Elf persuaded her friend the Soviet Tank to go off on a small adventure to this gathering point of this New Year’s Party.

----------------------------------------

<< You discovered the city of ?????? >> << Do you wish to Enter? (Y/N) >>

=> (A) Yes << Notification: You have arrived at the designated location. Welcome to the Bunny Club. >>

It took the Half-Elf and the Tank about less than one hour while following the direction. They soon arrived at where they needed to be. However, they discovered a conflict once they showed up in front of the door steps.

“…Nello...is it just me or is this place...Small…”

“…Um...it's bigger than my body, but the door is too tight. If they let me in, I'll break it. Uuuh.”

Pastrache and Nello shared their thoughts out loud once they stood in front of a small café. Not exactly a café, but a store that was about the size of a regular family café with some budget cuts. That small. In fact, it was almost the scale of an ice cream store that used to be popular in the 1970s.

That, that small.

The name written in bold golden letters was ‘Bunny Club’. Infront of the bunny word, there was this Mapleleaf. As if to Suggest, the Canadian Bunny Club. Maybe, it was a way to make the title short?

“…..Big Sis. I won’t fit. If I go in, the whole wall will cave in...I don't want to get you in trouble.”

“I was worried about that as well……. So… why did the invitation say Tanks were welcome?”

Pastrache felt bad for her tank friend, so she reached out to pat his armored track leg with a hand. When she thought they should leave, the door suddenly opened. It gave a cheery jingling sound, a series of bells hanging from a hook on the door. It was the type that would ring every time a customer were to enter. This allowed the owner and their employees to welcome the guest immediately. Oddly, no one showed up to greet them.

Just the door opening wider and wider...with a creaking sound that was iconic in horror movies. Soulless, it becked them to enter.

"...C...Creepy++."

“……I’ll wait here then Big Sis.”

“No of course not! This invation is for both of us. Even our two names were written in bold. So there has to be….Ah?”

Pastrache said those small words, when she realized something was wrong. At first, she remembred standing out in the middle of a cobblestone street that looked like a scene from a 1890 Victorian London mystery show.

Somehow, she found herself standing in the middle of what appears to be the café’s interior...maybe?

<< Accessing INTERIOR CAM for 'Travelling Readers'.......... COMPLETE >> [https://i.pinimg.com/originals/61/29/66/612966a0c50a84b97bc167e3a7813519.jpg]

It was a complete farcry from what the exterior front had to offer. She had somehow been teleported into a large room that could hold a party for 100 people, even a cocktail gathering for a small wedding. With various clothed tables and exotic hand-carved chairs, decorated with false palm trees that look too real to be true, there was even a small stage where musicians could play jazz music in the background.

Someone was up on that stage, sitting on a bench and touching a piano. He was already playing a song, a song that had survived for hundreds of years and was still excellent.

…It felt Polish.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sleZ-hzrtRY)

“…Big Sis. Who is that?”

“I-I don’t know, but I home it’s not an illusionist or necromancer. The last thing I want is to have our bowels cut open and our bodies………………Nello! You’re shorter!”

“…Heh?....I don’t feel that different.”

For those of you reading this the first time, Nello is a T-34 Tank that should be about 2.5 meters tall. Meaning he would be even taller than his beloved big sister (not blood-related) Half-Elf.

Today, or inside of this strange club, he was no taller than her hip. At most, he was the scale of a St. Bernard hound. The turret head with the 3 meter…or, now 1.5 meter lone barrel, turned to look up at Pastrache. Even when it was smaller, its nose was long enough to bump into the Half-Elf’s stomach with a soft plop.

“….OH! BIG SIS IS A GIANT!”

“Nyaaggu! N-N-Nello, d-don’t prod your nose into my chest! I-it’s rude---hyaagggh!!”

“Ah. Sorry!”

Unsure of how this phenomon had shrunk her large friend capable of crushing a car had turned into the size of a grown dog…Pastrache decided to be bold and interrupt the piano player on the stage. Somehow, her boots weren’t heavy enough to make a loud enough clapping noise. Even when the musician was nearing the end of his song, he didn’t hear her aproach. Once he finished this piece that was loved by generations…the Half-Elf tapped his shoulder.

“Um. Excuse me. Are you the owner of this club?”

“Hmm?...N-no. I'm the son, my parents own this Family Parlour that is a boarding house for the schoolboys... Ah, it's late. I have to hurry to meet with my friend Franz Liszt for... Wait, this isn't the family parlour."

The piano player with an classical aura around him opened his eyes and looked around. He looked perplexed to be sitting in this elaborate stage, in this elaborate club.

“…Wh…What did Penny do this time? Miss, please tell me I'm still in Warsaw.”

“What’s Warsaw?”

“Oh! I know Big Sis! I know! That’s the capital of Poland!”

“Th-that’s correct. So does that mean…….Excuse me but, what are you?”

“Oh? Me? I-I’m Nello. I’m a Tank of the Russian Soviet Army!”

“………………..What’s a tank?”

Pastrache looked between the Composer and her friend the tank (St. Bernand size). The two ‘boys’ could be seen staring at each other for a while, as if confused as to who each other were. Despite the fact Nello recognizing where Warsaw is, this Composer had absolutely no clue what the little tank was entirely.

“Please don’t tell me that you were a dog and Penny tested this new potion on you?”

“….No…I’m me… This is my body since the…well, day I was born in Stalingrad fighting the German Tanks.”

"Odd. The last time I visited Berlin for a performance, it was rather peaceful. No war whatsoever... let alone having 'tanks'... Little one, are you sure you're from the Russian Empire?"

“….................................Dah?? (Yes)”

The Half-Elf sighed. She realized speaking to this gentlemen who was holding the keys of his piano like the face of his lover won’t be going anyway from the starting face. So ended up being like most impatient readers, and skip straight to the last page of the book to know the ending.

“I’m Pastrache Mooneye. This is my friend, Nello. He’s supposed to be bigger than your piano but somehow something made him shrunk. Who are you? Are you involved in this invitation we received?”

The musicican turned from his beloved piano and looked up at the Half-Elf with quiet eyes.

“…Cough Cough..Sorry. My health isn’t very good. Cough. Ahem… My name is Frederic. Frederic Chopin.”

(https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/15565/chopins-penny/chapter/180572/nocturne-opus-9-the-composer-and-the-witch)

“Also known as my Chop-Chop—NOW GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND!”

<< WARNING! You are under attack! Evasive Actions! >> << Auto-Dodge Skill Lv 3 has been activated! >>

Pastrache received a notification from her warning system and tilted her head. What looked like a spear of electricity had appeared and nearly sliced her brains out had she not moved her neck in a small angle. As someone from a fantasy world, she recognized that to be a Level 10 Lightning Bolt spell.

That means, a wizard was present. However, when she turned to inspect who attacked her, she saw something else.

A form of magician who wore this elaborate robe that people in a certain island nation call a Kimono, patterned to resemble the summer skies. With long fluffy golden-blonde hair reaching to her hips, the woman who had a wizard like hat on her head stared at the Half-Elf with one eye through her exotic hair. Pastrache simply frowned.

“……..Is there a reason to use that elaborate spell in the form of a Stealth Attack just to greet me? Who are you?”

“I would like to ask the same question, Pointy Ears! I am Chop-Chop’s legitimate wife!...Or….Concubine if he truly believes that piano he’s rubbing his hands over is his actual legitimate wife!... Tch! I'll win over that piece of wood and strings one day! I swear!”

“…For the record, Miss Mooneye. This piano is named Jolly. And no, she it’s not my wife…neither is the Witch who is pointing her wand at you. She's simply a freeloader at my Family Parlour.”

"CHOP-CHOP! D-DON'T EMBERASS ME IN FRONT OF THE ENEMY!"

“... A Witch? That's a rare class...rare as in no one wants to be mistaken as a slut with a wizard's hat.”

"G-geh!? I-I'll gut you for that you point eared woman! Th-that's right, I'm a Witch who fled from England in the prime of the Witch Hunt and escape to the country of Poland! If it weren't for this purehearted young man taking me under his wing, I would have been violated in every possible position by those so-called crusaders of the churches!...Say something Chop-Chop!"

"Yes. I regret making that decision. I dislike saying this too often, but I should have let her stayed sleeping in an apple barrel. The moment I took pity and offered her a place to stay at the Chopin Family Parlour, I realized too late how much good she eats on a daily basis. I had no choice but to restrict her to a ration system just to save enough food for both my family and the 12 school boys living with us...Miss, please feel free to discipline her for her laziness and misbehaviour. Due to my health I'm powerless. The only thing that can keep her on a leash, is cutting her rations."

“W-wait. C—Chop-Chop! Y-you’re not going to-to remove this Witch fr-from her one s-source of su-sustenance right? Right? P-please tell me you won’t divorce me!? I-I swear I'll be a good girl!”

“Again. We’re not married. Hmm…If you’ll excuse me, I have an idea for a song I need to write down before I forget.”

“Please look at me and tell me honestly! H-how much rations do I get to have this weeeeeeek!”

Pastrache and Nello tilted their head; the Half-Elf girl’s side-tail swinging like a pendulum and the T-34 Tank’s 1 meter nose turning in confusion. They watched as the a certain Composer turned back to his piano to start playing a new music, one they’ve never heard but it felt deep and thoughtful. All the while, he was ignoring the grovellig, snivelling, and crying of a certain Kimono Witch. Even when she pulled on his sleeve, not a single key rang out of place and he continued to zone out the world around him to bring out the music residing in his heart. A professional.

“…Big Sis…Should we help that lady. Her eyes are turning black. Is she poisoned?”

"Don't worry Nello, it's only the mascara running off. I think she's more scared of whether or not she'll get any more free dinner from the boy. Tch, people like her are the worst."

"...Bye bye lady. Please don't be sad, or you'll hurt your eyes more."

----------------------------------------

Pastrache soon got bored of the Witch begging the Musician for food and cr*p and decided to move on. She started to explore the club.

Following closely behind her, was her friend the T-34 tank that was no taller than her hips. She found his new size cute, adorable even. One side wanted him to stay like that… yet, the logical side told her that he was only useful if he was big enough to take on the flesh-ripping claws of a Manticore.

Not to mention, she would lose her bonus moving cover. Sigh.

*DING DING DING!* 

“…Oh! B-Big Sis! Look at the man with the cool goggles and the pretty lady who looks like a bird!”

“………….They look like a very odd couple, completely out of place…Hey wait, how come that guy has the same maple leaf like crest on his leather jacket? Could he be related to this club?”

“Hey, Sleipnir. Are you sure you got the right location? I find it very odd that a place like this would also have a run-way for my plane to land on so conveniently.”

“Oh pish-posh, Ray-Ray. Surely after many missions together you would come to trust this Canadian Witch by now? Tut-tu, let’s not let the beer run cold.”

“I see now. So, that was your true objective the moment we received that myserious letter. What if this is a plot by the German Imperials to trap us. You’re a Witch of the Canadian forces. I’m a pilot of the Royal Naval Air Service. We’re both targets of high value.”

“If young boys like you fret over every detail, they’ll grow old and stay single.”

“When we walk out of this place in one piece, I'll be cutting your rations for this week.”

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

“Geh!? R-Ray-Ray is s-so cruel!”

“... Hey, Nello. They look different, yet why do they sound so similar to the Piano Boy and Witch Girl behidn us?"

"...Maybe they're brothers and sisters?"

"Doubt it." 

Pastrache watched as two people enterted the club, the door swinging with the cheery bells.

One was a young man in an odd looking uniform and a long scarf that would keep him warm if he was flying in the air. He took off his leather flight helmet and goggles to free his face as he curiously looked around. Right behind him was this lovely woman wearing a dress made of 1000 raven feathers, with black bridal gauntlets shielding the pale color of her arms. Long black silky hair, she would keep eyeing the pilot like individual with sultry eyes.

“…At least it’s warm inside this bar. Normally it’s -10 degrees around this time of year in Belgium.”

“See! Even you are starting see a positive in this negative-sounding predicament. I’ve converted you. Fu-fu-fu.”

“Still, I feel bad leaving behind Black Maria outside.”

“Don’t worry. It’s not like the cold will freeze the blood in your wife. She’ll live.”

“…She’s not my wife. She’s a Sopwith Triplane. And she's not like the regular Sopwith One-And-One-half or even the Camel variant, her engine and oil tanks aren’t as resistant to the cold. Let’s just order something, see what’s going on, and then go back to the Western Front…..Oh, hello Miss…Um…Are you the owner of this place?”

“Hmm—GEH!? RAY-RAY! GET AWAY FROM THAT GIRL! SHE-SHE'S DANGEROUS!”

“…..What do you mean? Other than the fact she has pointed ears, she’s waving at me more confused than me. Also, we’re Canadians, so do our countrymen a favor and look nice.”

“IT’S THE FACT THAT SHE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN ME IS WHAT’S DANGEROUS! S-STAY AWAY FROM HER!"

The Half-Elf eyebrow and her one pointed ear twitched from the Raven Witch’s outburst. She watched the woman in the elaborate feather dress try to pull back her friend the pilot from everyone, but the target she tried to defend continued to march forward to establish negotiations with the foreign entities.

It started with a friendly Canadian Handshake with the Half-Elf Girl.

“Nice to meet you. Lieutenant Raymond Collishaw of the Royal Naval Air Service, Canadian Regiment. Which unit are you from?”

(https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/21723/a-raymonds-raven-the-exploration-of-magic-in-world/chapter/309066/entry-1-the-diligent-pilot-and-the-lazy-raven)

“…Um..Pastrache Mooneye…L-Level 10 United Colony Marine class…Adventurer Rank 2.”

“And I’m Nello! T-34-85 Combat Unit of the Soviet 13th Tank Corp! Nice to meet you Mr. Canadian Sir!”

“Well nice to meet you, Miss Mooneye. And you to Nell……Hmm? Tank? Strange, you don’t look like a British Mark IV…rather you look more advanced than the ones we have in our tank regiments. Which country is Soviet?”

“Mother Russia, dah!”

“…………Only the British Forces have a working tank as of 1917…Were the Russian Empire working on a new prototype behind our backs? Hmm... this could deal considerable damage to the Triple Entente between Britain, France, and the Russians.”

“Ray-Ray, forget about these strangers. You already have me to love and to care for!”

“Yes. Indeed, which is a burden on my duties as a fighter pilot in the Great War.”

“G-geh!? D-don’t make me sound like a pet you’re forced to take care of for your friend! I-I'm not that troublesome!”

"Every time you follow me in a mission in the air, you throw up. Worse, you make Black Maria dirty. I always have to clean up your mess after a sortie."

"....................................... I...I promise to train my gut, I swear!"

“Cough. So, Miss Pastrache, are you the owner?”

“TURN YOUR EYES AWAY FROM THAT POINTY EAR VIXEN AND LOOK AT MEEEEEEE!”

The Half-Elf had trouble understanding. These two from another corner of the world (read: universe) were surely odd. The young man who called himself Raymond Collishaw could be seen valiantly defending himself as his partner the Raven Witch suddenly hugged at his leg to beg him to look at her more. Like a child begging for her parents to take her to some exotic fantasy park in another corner of the country, ignoring the travelling expenses. Talk about attention seeking, Pastrache nodded.

Still, she felt bad for the pilot. Raymond Collishaw saw her gaze, and as if reading her mind, he just returned an expression that looked like a man who walked out a casino, thousands of dollars in debt.

“Hang in there, Mr. Collishaw.”

“Thank you. Enjoy yourself, Miss Mooneye.”

“RAY-RAY! WH-WHY ARE YOU IGNORING THIS WITCH! DOES EVERY BOY IN THE UNIVERSE HAVE A FETISH FOR GIRLS WITH ELF EAAAAAAAARS!?"

(Yes)

The Pilot hobbled away, with the Raven Witch beind dragged at his leg as if an old ball and chain. The Half-Elf felt sorry for him. Until she heard the door open and tingle again.

----------------------------------------

Not at all prepared for what was going to happen, the Half-Elf turned to an atrocious sight. Only men would have the courage to face such fear with their eyes.

“Hey Boss Lady. This place is air conditioned. After spending many years out in the sand, my body can finally relax.”

“CAPRICORN, YOU IDIOT WOMAN! PUT SOME CLOTHES BACK ON! WE'RE NOT IN THE DESERT THAT LOOK LIKE A SCENE FROM A POST-APOCLYTPIC MOVIE ANYMORE! SO – PUT – SOME – CLOTHES – OOOOOOOOOOON!”

“BFFFFFFFFFFFFT!?”

Pastrache did a beautiful spittake, upon seeing this naked woman enter the club. The new entrant didn’t seem to care, she just bask in the cold air onto her chocolate-tanned colored naked skin and sighed with relaxation. It was like she had been working out in the desert all day, and this was the first time she felt the wind from an air conditioners in her entire life.

All the while, this small girl with a long purple ponytail bursting through the same door to tackle the first woman with a large tarp she found outside on the street.

“Listen to me you reckless woman! W-we’re no longer staying inside of the Renault Tank! So there is absolutely zero need for you to have an excuse to be naked! You’re in the company of strangers, so please act like a normal woman for once!”

“…I don’t mind." 

“I DO! EVERYONE WILL THINK I’M THIS SADISTIC B*TCH IN A MESSED UP RELATIONSHIP WHERE I FORCE THE MASOCHIST TO WALK AROUND CLOTHLESS WITH A COLLAR ON HER NECK LIKE A DOG!”

“…Sorry boss lady. I can’t. I’m sensitive to synthetic leather.”

“I’LL F**KING SHOVE A SCREWDRIVER UP YOUR @SS IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP!”

“............ Big Sis. The lady on the ground looks like she is being attacked. Should we help her?”

“Geh!? Nello! Don’t look! Th-there’s too much uncensored impurities going on right now! I-it’s too much for your tank body to handle!”

"Uwaaah. Big Sis's hands are so warm...I can't see anymore."

While the two girls covered in sand, one naked and one clothed, wrestled on the floor Pastrache quickly protected her friend’s innocence by covering his eyes...or, his on-board DT machine gun barrel and the tank cannon with her two hands. However, he was even more curious and suddenly brushed them off with a nod of his cannon.

"OOOOOH LOOK! Big Sis! Big Sis! There's another another tank like me! O-only his nose is shorter!”

“……*Crrrkkkk*”

<< Accessing HIDDEN CAMERA IN FLOWER POT for 'Travelling Reader'..... COMPLETE >> [https://i.redd.it/51rcy03zpboz.jpg]

Ignoring the two beautiful women mangling each other across the club floor, this armored vehicle entered through the front doors. It looked like a tank exactly like Nello, only an older model seeing how its body was designed differently. It also had a shorter nose and moved rather slowly. Somehow, it gave people the feeling this was the basis of what modern tanks should look like after the First World War... coincidence?

“*Crrrk…Crrrrk*”

“He's speaking in a different language than me, b-but I can understand him! Th-this is so cool! Big Sis, c-can I play with him!?"

“…O..Of course, Nello. Just… don’t wander too far??”

“YAY! Come on, let’s go and play around the tree with lots of rainbow lights. I’m Nello by the way. What’s your name?”

“….*Crrrrrk*…”

“Renault…FT…Oh!? I see, you were born in France! Hmm? Wow! I've never been to France. I've only grew up for five days in the middle of the war back in Stalingrad, fighting german Tanks...Uuuh. Thinking about how the German Tiger punched a hole in my head with her nose scares me...Let's go and play!" 

(https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/14698/sand-girls/chapter/173227/3-renault-v-and-armata)

“…….*Crrrrrk*…”

Pastrache couldn’t help a small smile. While she watched her miniaturized Tank companion rolled off with the other short-nosed tank, she felt this sweet sensation swelling in her heart. Like two different puppy breeds meeting each other for the first time. The T-34 battle tank made a friend!

“Boss. I’m hungry. Let’s skip rations tonigh and dine al fresco.”

“I’LL FRISK YOU WITH AN IRON BROOM UNTIL YOU PUT ON SOME CLOTHING TO HIDE YOUR PRIVATE PARTS! NOW HURRY UP AND WEAR THIS TARP!”

“…It smells like wet dog. I don’t have that kind of fetish.”

"CAPRICOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!"

Pastrache turned away, upon hearing a lovely iron wrench crack upon the skull of a certain naked woman. No need to be the witness to a possible trial. She saw nothing, she knows nothing, she didn’t even wake up this morning.

----------------------------------------

The half-Elf started to dive deeper into this myserty, trying to get to the bottom of this case. If she had a bowler hat, a magnifying glass, and a silver badge reaing Toronto Constabulary, she would surely resemble… never mind. Let’s continue.

“Oh? Th-there’s more wierdos in here. Were they all invited as well?”

The more she wandered in the Bunny Club, the more pair of people she continued to see already sitting at bars and table.

For example, she walked past one table where two men in modern looking uniform and helmets with reflective glasses were clinking their beer mugs with each other. Sitting on the corner of the table, was this big trophy, and with the girl’s sharp eyes she read the enrgving: Winers of the World Dragon Race, United States.

(https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/13648/random-words/chapter/189672/18-american-dragon)

“Hey buddy. What was the Naval Policy in deaing with a serious firefight?”

“Send in the marines!”

“OORAAAH!”

“OORAAAH!”

... To Pastrache’s left she could see two people sitting at the bar counter. One was a small girl who look like she shouldn’t be drinking, and a writer who looked like he was poor beyond any pale. This awkward looking fridge with nothing inside sitting on the ground next to their stools like an obedient dog, opened with frost flowing out. Now that she mentioned it… the young woman looked like penguin, or wearing a penguin suit.

(https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/13648/random-words/chapter/158980/6-writing-pen-pen)

“I love you!"

"Uwaaah! Y-you're just s-saying that be-because you're drunk! We-we're may be married but, am-am I really the right choice for you? I-I have live inside your fridge ju-just to survive!"

"I'm not drunk! I only took a sip from my Long Island Tea just to spike my courage. I truly love you, a girl who hasn't abandoned me because of my dead-end writing job! I gave that all up, and I will make you proud in being the waifu of a manager of the local branch serving an international suits and ties corporation. This former dead-beat will make you happy, including your all of your body!"

"Uwaaaah! D-don't make me sound like a perverted housewife! I-I'm completely defenseless if you keep nibbling my fins and my neck like that! Aaaah! N-no, w-we can't do it in the fridge! I-it's the only thing to keep my body cold o-or else I'll get a heatstroke!" 

...Now, at another corner Pastrache could see two girls – thank god – who were sharing one table close to the stage. While they were listening to the Composer and the wailings of a Kimono Witch, the two girls were having a strong conversation with each other. To summarize, one was a mermaid and the other a selkie. FYI, a selkie is a mythical seal woman from Gaelic lore.

(https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/13648/random-words-a-series-of-small-worlds-born-from/chapter/317054/23-mermaid-of-plastic----nationalgeographic)

“Shut up, tuna girl! I told you once and I'll tell you another 1000 times: I-I didn’t abandon my children!! My husband stole my seal coat and hid it away so he could force me to marry him and pop out his children! I-I love my boy and girl, b-but I can’t survive another 10 years on land. It was thanks to my daughter who told me where the horny b@stard put away my belongings was I able to escape into the ocean! Or else, I'll wrinkle harder than the dried seafood sold in a local Chinatown store!”

“Hmmm. You say that, yet here you are drinking all by yourself like a regular single woman in a mid-life crisis. Honestly, we denizens of the sea should be better than the people on the land... However, I won't stop you from enjoying a time to wind down. We did just spent the entire day clearning up 10,000 years worth of plastic bottles and plastic cr*p the humans left for us sea folk... F**k it, I'll drink with you and down this....Oh...th-this wine bottle from the land called Ottawa looks exotic...It would be a wonderful part of my collection.........*Gulp*--GEGGEGEGFFFF!?"

“I’ll told you 1000 times, I’ll tell you another million times—YOU’RE NOT A GOD-D*MN FROG! SO STOP SHOVING BOTTLES DOWN YOUR F**KING THROAT AS IF IT WERE A KANGAROO POUCH!”

“Cough. Geeeeeegh!”

“……Everyone is so weird hear. Thank god I’m the only normal person in this club.” 

<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >>

~ OBJECTION! ~

You are a god-d*mn hypocrite. Apologize.

Pastrache said those words as her pointed ears happily twitched at her thoughts. She ignored the Selkie who was using her stomping foot as a form of CPR for the Mermaid who haf half of a wine bottle lodged in her throat. There was no need to ruin the mood by seeing such violence.

“…..But that still doesn’t explain, why Nello and I was invited.”

*PING-PING-PING!*

“Okay! Okay! Okay! This Bunny Narrator would like to thank all the invitees for coming! Welcome to the News Years Company-Class Collaboration Party!”

“…Hah?”

Pastrache had two emotions right now. One, she was confused why there was this woman standing on a chair behind the bar counter, and tapping a knife across a fine wine glass in place of a church bell. Second, the Half-Elf was p*ssed as she saw this girl wearing this red bunny suit and fishnet stockings on her body.

A pair of fake looking bunny ears were flopping up and down on the obnoxiously cheery woman’s hair the color of emerald fire.

“Yes, yes, yes! On behalf of all the beloved ‘Travelling Readers’, we’re holding this special event to celebrate three important things in life!”

“…Three important things?”

“Number one! This is the first party to be held to allow everyone from cross-dimensions to gather in a single Pocket Space! Fortunately, it doesn’t require this Bunny Narrator to sign up to any shady websites and pay a considerable fee after 14 days worth of free trial! So be grateful☆.”

“I don’t know why. But I want to shove a wine bottled up her @ss to make her scream for the opposite reasons…W-Wait, h-have my status turned Chaotic Evil just from this frivoulous girl showing up!?”

“Second! It’s been three years since we’ve started to work in this Cyber Space full of Roads serving the Royal Family! It’s time we make an effort to establish our existence and put on a for everyone passing by! Yes!☆!”

“……..No. I’ll strangle her with her fake ears first.”

“G-gehh! Wh-why do I feel like my life is being target! A-ahem! A-and third, gulp. Th-this is a special ceremony to welcome a new employee to the Company Club!”

“………..Employee? Who?”

As if to answer Pastrache’s questions… this ridiculously asburbedly huge green banner flipped down from the ceiling and unraveled like the obi sash of a woman's Kimono. A series of crudely drawn handwriting could be seen scribbled on the banner. There were even some parts on the cloth that was struck out due to bad spelling and the stereotypical trailing lines with tiny letters as there was no more space left.

== Welcome PASTRA and NELL. Congratulations for 30+ Followers on first year! ==

“…………………………………………………..What?”

“That’s right! We’re here to welcome lovely Pastra and cute little Nell to the GreenFlame Crew! Everyone give a round of applause!”

The only person who was clapping at this announcement, was this chocolate-tanned naked woman. Her partner with a ponytail interrupted by tapping the naked woman's head with a heavy looking wrench. No one else clapped.

“…Ray-Ray. Who is this woman they’re talking about? D-don’t just shrug and drink Canadian Whiskey behind my back!”

“…Chop-Chop. I-I don’t know, but my position as your potential love candidate is being targeted. Should I begin a counterattack…Heh!? Y-you want to write another song! B-but you just wrote 20 before that ridiculous Bunny just up and spoke!”

“…………………………………………………………………….”

Pastrache had a bad feeling. So While everyone was looking at the sexy bunny girl with no morals, she grabbed the dog-sized T-34 tank and started to crawl towards the door, using his small body like a cardboard box.

On cue, a spot light out of nowhere landed on her. 

<< Your Stealth Check Failed. You've been Spotted!! >> << Your INT and DEX have decreased by one point for Critical Failure. >> << Your Status is: Proned. Enemies have Advantage over you. >>

“…………………………………F**k.”

“Hmm? Big Sis? Wh-why is it so bright all of a sudden!?”

The Half-Elf’s ears flinched. And she turned around.

Everyone in the Bunny Club was staring at her. The male characters smiling and waving… and the female characters glaring and sharpening the steak knives. Some of them look like Magicians, and pulled out their wands and staff to charge a ridiculously deadly spell for some reason.

To add fuel to the fire, the exotic rabbit woman spoke up, with a f**king megaphone. Volume set to Maximum+1.

“That’s right, little Elfy! Welcome to the workforce on these Roads serving the Royal Family and it's citizens! We look forward to your hard work and adventures in the brand new year! Don’t give up hope everyone, just work three times as hard and we’ll all achieve her shining status!”

“…You… rabbit..you’re doing this on purpose.”

“Whatever do you mean? Ku-ku-ku☆. We have a cake ready for you too! What wish would you like to make? As it's the New Years, it should definitely come true☆!”

“Hmm. I wish the Bunny Girl in charge of this messed up party to come within 0.5 meter radius from me, so I can thoroughly kick her @ss!”

“NUWOOOOH! W-WAIT! W-WAIT! TH-THERE IS A MI-MISUNDERSTANDING! TH-THIS IS AN-AN EL-ELABORATE I-INITIATION PRANK W-WE’RE STARTING THIS YEAR! I-IT WAS TO MAKE YOUR FIRST YEAR HERE SUPER AWKWARD!! LIK-LIKE WHAT SENIOR STUDENTS DO-DO TO NEW COLLEGE STUDENTS! A-A HAZING! YES! YES!”

“Oh I see. Then looks like I’ll have to return the favor by 10 fold. I’ll haze you, little bunny, so hard that your own tail will be hiding up that cute butt yours!”

“S-STOP! STOP! I-I’M JUST TH-THE BUNNY NARRATOR WORKING HERE AS PA-PART-TIME! TH-THIS WASN’T MY IDEA! TH-THIS SHAMEFUL PRANK I-IS NOT MY IDEA! I-I WAS COERCED TO-TO DO THIS OR ELSE I WON'T GET MY PAYCHEQUE O-OR NEW YEARS PAY!——GYAAAAAH! HELP! HELP! TH-THE HALF-ELF IS GOING TO MOLEST ME WITH HER BOOT! I-I'LL REPORT YOU! H-HACKER! HACKEEEEEEEER!”

“I – DON’T – CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!”

… In the end, through all the one-sided violence, the banner that wrote ‘Welcome Pastra and Nell to the family, everyone work hard like them’, fell away to reveal another banner that was crudely drawn by the same hand. As the first was hung rather loosely with a string of rope that was tugged in the brawl, that meant this wasn’t’ the intended message to broadcast.

Now, everyone in the Bunny Club who were gathered on the new day of the new year would read the following. A message for everyone.

Happy New Year, GreenFlame Crew!

Thank you for all of your hard work in 2017, and 2018.

We've acquired over:

90 Followers and 28,500 Readers!! 

Keep up the Great Work!

We look forward to your Smiles in the New Future!

EX-CEL-SIOR!

---

~~ GREEN FLAME!!~~

After reading that second banner, not only was everyone happy with this result - they decided to join Pastrache with kicking the sh*t out of the defensless Bunny Narrator.

“GYAAAAGGAA!NGAAAAA! D-DON’T KICK ME BETWEEN MY LEEEEGS! I-I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GI--AGGAUU UUGGANN NNNAAAAAAAAANNH~♥♥☆♥♥☆♥♥☆♥♥☆♥♥☆♥♥☆!!!!!!”

“THIS IS FOR GIVING ME A JUMPSCARE THAT I’LL BE SURGICALLY REMOVED AS THE MAIN HEROINE FROM MY CHOP-CHOP YOU B@STARD LITTLE GIRL!”

“AND THIS IS FOR BRAIN RAPING MY MIND FEARING THAT MY IDENTITY AS RAY-RAY’S WIFE WAS IN JEOPARDY! SHAME ON YOU! LET ME STRANGLE HER WITH HER OWN EARS!”

“NEIN! HER EARS ARE MINE! NOW APOLOGIZE TO NELLO AND ME FOR SPELLING OUT NAMES COMPLETELY WROOOOOOOOOOONG!”

“HEEEELP! HEEEELP! HEROINE BRUTALITY! HEROINE BRUTALITYYYYYYYY!--GHEGGEFFFFFGGGG!!”

“…..hey Boss lady, can I join?”

“Put some god-d*mn close on before you throw your body inside the dogpile.”

Happy New Year 2019 - Fellows of Royal Roads.

~~GreenFlame000