:: Dear Diary..... I told you to turn off! This is a battlefield, not a place where I can tell you my personal thoughts! Hey! S-stop! D-don’t grab that! That’s Nello’s Machine gun! It’s not a toy! Guffaawg! D-don’t elbow me in the gut to have your way! S-stop smiling like a maniac and let go – of – the – guuuuuun! ::
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<< DANGER!: Incoming high level enemy attack! Please Evade! >> << DANGER!: Incoming high level enemy attack! Please Evade! >> << DANGER!: Incoming high level enemy attack! Please Evade! >> << DANGER!: Incoming high level enemy attack! Please Evade! >> << DANGER!: Incoming high level enemy attack! Please Evade! >>
"B-Big Sis! Wh-why are there so many floating squares popping around me? They're all blinking red."
"I-I don't understand myself. That Vampire Creep should be dead after you trampled him under your...Hmm? N-Nello, why are you mov--OH SH*T! BACK UP, NELLO! BACK--HYAAAAG!"
Pastrache screamed like a girl.
Even if she was a maiden, she was determined to never scream like a helpless maiden in distress. She knew no one will save her. Being raised as a Half-Elf taught her the necessity to survive independently in a world that will hate you for your mixed heritage.
She had faith in her mother's love, but even the lonely housewife wasn't a superhero with the ability to fly around the world to help her daughter.
So The Half-Elf always believed she had to be a strong girl...... However, today she had no choice but ot break her record.
Because the moment when a cloud of violent blood shoved her tank friend off his feet, and felt the descent all airplane passengers experience when the plane drops 20 cm - she squealed like a Damsel in Distress.
"EEEEK! N-NELLO! DO SOMETHING! W-WE'RE GOING TO LAND UPSIDE DOWN!"
"H-HANG ON! REVERSING ENGINES!"
The T-34 Russian Tank revved up the V12 DIesel Engines in his body. The tracks stopped struggling forward and quickly spun backwards, to allow the Tank to climb down the cloud of red solid mist that was growing under its body.
As if riding the wave, the Tank slid down in reverse and guided itself with its armored tracks to keep itself balance. It would speed forward or speed backwards depending on on how steep the crescents and troughs on the waves were.
The second the iron teeth gripped onto solid ground, it made a beeline in full reverse to get some distance.
"Wh-what is that Big Sis? A-a land mine!?"
"N-no! I completely forgot! The Vampires specialize in Blood Magic!"
"... B-but there's no such thing as Magic!"
"In your world, that is the truth. In this new world - magic is a reality!"
Pastrache gripped onto the side of the open turret, choking on the dusty air that was kicked up in Nello's flight. She clenched her fingers onto rails to keep her body steady and looked up ahead.
The plume of red mist popped like a bubble and it scattered into the air like the droplets of an aerosol. Standing ahead of them, was a man, who looked like he survived a zombie apocolypse and lived to survive in season two, three, four, and five.
The Vampire Cowboy.
"... Ptoo... You got my attention."
"F-F**k. Th-this is serious! Th-this guy is a real vampire! We crushed him under your 900 pound feet an-and made his head explode! Y-yet, he's still standing!"
"I don't know who you are, little girl, but the moment you trampled me under your... horse like that... there is no point of return. I will bite you and suck you dry."
"..... Uwa, uwa, uwaa. M-my skin and body is-is in danger!"
Pastrache hugged her frail looking body under her arms and pulled up the hem of her coat. She didn't dare stand up any higher from the security of her tank friend's crew compartment. Or the fact she was only wearing a towel would make the situation 10 times worse.
Attacked, bitten, and then some. The Half-Elf didn't want her body to become nothing more than a dead prune.
"... I won't let you bully Big Sis!"
".........Hmm? What are you, woman? A ventriloquist? This isn't the time to be showing off like--"
"My name isn't Ventri...Ven...Ventricle...It's Nello! And I am Big Sis's Little Brother!"
"...............???"
At first the Vampire thought the Half-Elf was trying to distract him with her 'belly-speech' ability. With his sharp inhuman eyes, he knew she didn't move her lips or her tummy by so much as a iota. Yet, how could she make sounds as if she wasn't the speaker so professionally?
... it was until, his attenion was drawn to a 3 meter cannon waving up and down.
Like a child waving at him to say 'Me, me!'
<< Enemy is Confused. His Reaction Time has decreased by 10 seconds. >> << You have Psychological Advantage over the target. >>
"............ What the f**k?"
"Go away! Leave these doggy people alone! They've done nothing bad! So....Shoo!"
"..............Wait...A...are you... are you really talking to me?"
"Yes, I am! N-now go home or, or... O-o-or, I'll get really, really, angry! Grrrrrrr!"
"..................Okay, Elf girl. Stop with the voice acting game. This situation is serious."
"I'M REALLY THE ONE TALKING HERE! D-DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME BY SAYING I LIVE IN BIG SIS'S BELLY! I-IT'S NOT NICE!....Gaaaaah! Why does everyone pick on meeeee!"
"NUWOAAAAH! N-NELLO! S-SIT! CALM! NYAAAAH!"
Pastrache squealed when she felt the ground shake under her. No, it wasn't an earthquake. Rather, the Tank she was standing inside suddenly got frustrated with the Vampire's lack of respect, and it twisted its turret head left and right. The same way she does when she becomes frustrated and doesn't get her way.
"N-N-Nello! P-please don't move around so much! Th-there's two of us in here, remember!?"
"Ah. Sorry Big Sis! But I'm really mad!"
".......Tch. This is troublesome."
Despite the confusion, the Vampie didn't let his guard down. He would glance down at his belt. After being ranned over by... whatever that iron monstrosity was, the leather on his belt was torn but still clung to his pants. However, the matchlock pistol was shattered. It must have been crushed under the iron creature's feet, he thought.
Only the handle and the hammer was left sitting in his half-empty holster.
But that was all he needed.
"I don't suppose we could, you know, call for a truce or something, little lady?"
"Don't call me that. Only my mother has the right to call me 'little lady' when she disciplines me."
"..........................................................Heh."
"No. I don't have a mother-daughter fetish you sick b@stard!"
"Hey now. This here is my fight with them mutt men. I don't need a third wheel to get in the way and screw up our plans. Tell you what. Why don't you and your... friend turn around, and walk away. Like none of this ever happened."
"As much as I admire vampires, what you did here is absolutely unacceptable. I may not like the Werewolves that much, but even they don't deserve to be culled and enslaved by the likes of you! So why don't you turn around and walk away, like none of this every happened - Friend!"
"I'll pay you a considerable sum☆."
"Oh my goddess! Cash or debit♥?"
"B-Big Sis! D-don't let that bad man bribe you!"
"... F-F**k! I-I almost fell for the oldest trick in the book! Th-thank you Nello for breaking me out of his spell!"
".........................I didn't cast Charm on you. Only the old fogeys in the Dracula Council still use it to attract schoolgirls. Honestly, it's really a cheap trick."
The Vampire Cowboy scoffed... but he also found a good opening in this situation.
The more he led the Half-Elf and Tank astray with the conversation, the higher chance he had to deliver a swift counter-attack. With his inhuman reflexes, he is able to accurately move his entire arm one micrometer a heart beat. It moved his hand closer to the pistol on his belt, but it was next to impossible to tell by the naked eye until it was way too late.
Once he find the perfect moment... he will finished the Half-Elf Girl... and maybe keep her lovely body as a trophy. He wondered, should he mount her on a wall or on the cieling of his bed... Oh the possiblities.
"Hey, little lady---"
"I said don't call me that! Don't make me come over and shove my rifle up your @ss and pull the trigger!"
"Would you like to become an immortal, like me?"
"If it has nothing to do with money I.........................I-immortality? Heh?"
"Yeah. You know I'm a Vampire... Why, I have the power to make you live forever. All it takes is one gentle bite to your throat."
"... Aaah..."
"Just think about it. Immortality! You need no worry about starving on the cold streets, you will never get any disease or sickness so you can save your medical bills... And best of all you have the power to say no to taxes!"
"...S...say no to taxes!? F-forever!? Aaaaah."
Wonderful, the Vampire Cowboy thought. The Half-Elf was already drooling at this idea. As he said before, he didn't like using the classical Charm spell that many Vampires knew since they were young. He prefer to use more 'practical' methods to get someone's attention. It was more, how should he put it... effective.
See, there was this glimmer in the Half-Elf's gaze as she meticulously thought about this prospect.
"...Oh! B-Big Sis, I-i think he's---"
"Sssh. N-Nello! Let me think. I-it's not every day when a Vampire would offer you free immortality. N-normally the stuff on the Ethereal Net Drive would require me to give them my bank account number or apply to a yearly subscription that would eat away my pocket money like lunch! B-but... to live forever, no pain, no frustration... I... then that means...
"Yeah. It means you don't have to work to survive. You can do whatever the h*ll you want, forever."
"Ooooooooooooh."
"B-Big Sis! Y-you're sparkling, I-I don't think that's a good thing!"
The Vampire Cowboy grinned, and moved his hand a little faster. There was a chance the Half-Elf would notice his muscle movements inching closer to his broken pistol, where he could easily use the sharpened hammer to pierce his neck to draw his own blood.
The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.
But she was too preoccupied in balancing the Pro and Con of the offer he had place in front of her. Now that he thought about it: if the Half-Elf agreed and let him bite her... she belongs to him. If she continues to hestiate, a blood hole in her skull.
A 100% win-win situation.
"...Well?"
"I-I don't know... I shouldn't."
"Come on. Don't be such a scaredy cat. It's like being bitten by a needle in a hospital."
"Those are worse than a vampire bite. Uuuuh."
"So, what do you say?"
".... M... my mother always told me, th-that I should never up and elope with strangers... Sh-she doesn't want me to follow in her footsteps so..."
"You know you want it. I can see the passion of freedom in your eyes."
"S-shut up. D-don't make it sound like I'm a pervert! I-I'm not that kind of woman!"
"I will definitely hurt at first... but once you get used to the sting, the sensation of becoming an immortal will give you unforgettable pleasure of absoute bliss and freedom. Released from your mortal coil!"
"I-I said stop! Stop it! M-my head is becoming hazy from your innuendos! I-I'm so confused now! Th-this explanation is too graphic!"
"Hmm... Then I guess... You'll never live in the same paradise as me."
A hand made its move. It flew to the handle of the broken pistol and spun it right out of the holster. With a flick, the sharpened hammer end pierced through alayer of thin flesh, drawing blood.
Blood that leapt like like puppet strings and grabbed at the broken pistol.
Streams of enchanted red liquid twisted together, rapidly 3D printing a new barrel to the weapon. Filling it up with more blood, the entire weapon glowed a violent red color.
Lock and loaded.
And the Vampire aimed it directly at Pastrache... who just had her eyes closed to keep out the NSFW images from her chaste mind.
"Adios, little---"
"BIG SIS! GET DOWN!"
"--Lady--GUBYAAAGFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!"
The Vampire Cowboy thought he won the fight. But instead... he f**ked up.
The moment he moved his finger to squeeze the trigger of his enchanted weapon, the tip of a 3 meter long cannon lanced right into his gut. Due to how fast the series of events had occurred and there being no proper equipment to measure the blow exactly...
... The best way to describe the power behidn the attack - was equivalent to the punch from Mike Tyson delivered at 53 km / hour.
A normal person would have died three times.
<< Nello used 76 mm CANNON on Vampire Lv 30. Critical Hit!! Triple Damage Bonus!! >> << Dealt -300 Bludgeoning Damage and -250 Force Damage. >> << Enemy Status is now Prone, Crippled, and Paralyzed. You have Double Advantage over target. >> -----
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >>
~Sir Lance-A Lot~
You used an improvised weapon to joust your opponent. Bravo!
"GAAAAAAAAAAAADFFFF!?!"
"NUWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"
Nello ran at full speed. Pushing his V12 Diesel Engine to maximum capacity, he rushed his enemy with his iron cannon as a joust and kept speeding in a straight line through the forest. Small trees and rocks that got in the way were instantly crushed. Sometimes, by fortune, the one he pinned on his barrel took 90% of the collateral damage in his wake.
"Sh-sh*****t! Wh-why can't I move my body? D-did this thing, guuh, s-snapped my spinal cord!?
"Stay away from Big Sis! I won't let anyone bite her!"
"N-Nello! Nello! Ple-please stop, right now!"
"Don't worry Big Sis, I got him! He's not going to hurt you! I swear!"
"I-I know that, that's why I love you! B-but we're about to hit a big@ss tree!"
"...What tree?"
*CRAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHH!*
*KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!*
*FOOOOOOOSSSSHHH!*
........ *Crick*
"...Ow."
"Uuuaaaghuuu..."
Pastrache gave an odd sound. It sounded like a hamster that got too excited and broke the speed limit in a hamster wheel. Foot got caught, and it was sent in a wild spin out. You know, that same noise it would make after the wheel eventually slows down for the little guy... and then it vomits.
The Half-Elf sprawled across the turret head, felt like she was going to do exactly that.
"...........Nell....oooooo...huuurk."
"...S...sorry...I didn't see that..."
The T-34 could be found buried in a tree. Kid you not. Exactly like an Ostrich plugging its head into the ground, only on a 90 degree angle, the Tank had plunged his 3 meter cannon 6 meters too deep. When it tried to pull out with its tracks in reverse, he had zero grip on the ground and couldn't pull himself out.
This was beyond the Sword in the Stone situation.
"... Huurk...N-Nello... wh-why did you suddenly charge him like that. I-it's not like you to do something wi-without warning."
"Sorry Big Sis. Nnnng. I-I recognized his pose."
"P-pose?"
"Yeah. The soldiers in the Russian Army would sometimes stand in front of each other like this and suddenly pull out their pistols to shoot each other."
"THE F**K TYPE OF LEISURE GAME IS THAT!?"
"Oh, they weren't trying to kill each other, not exactly. It's called Russian Roullette. That's where they keep one bullet in the chamber and see who is the lucky one and who is not lucky... Or... that's what I hear from them whenever they fought in front of me in the garage when there's nothing to do..."
"PEOPLE FROM EARTH ARE MESSED UP!"
A bloom of red ripped out from the tree the T-34 Tank impaled itself into. It reached out like the arm of claw singing beast and slammed its 'palm' across the front of the armored vehicle. The moment the Half-Elf realized what it meant, she was too late.
"H-HURRY! NELLO! REVERSE! REVERSE!"
"Nnnnng! I-I'm trying, but my nose is stuck!"
An explosion of violent red waves ignited from the hole in the tree. The force kicked back the T-34 tank off its tracks to let it slid around across the ground. The Half-Elf could be found squealing as she gripped onto the handrails of the turret, holding on for dear life to keep herself from being thrown out of the open hatch.
In the wild spin, she was able to open her eyes in time to see a spooky shadow flying towards her.
A moving body that looked like a mad elephant gored it to death.
"...Now... I'M REALLY P*SSED!"
"SH**********T!
The Vampire Cowboy was smiling... or... he would have if the lower half of his jaw wasn't dangling like a cieling lamp. With one hand he yanked out the 10 inch branche of wood from his 'brain' and allowed his auto-healing powers to sew his split head back together. What was originally an axe wound to the skull was not reconstructed in a flash.
Just as he felt the muscles grew back in his check to make him smile, he brought up his pistol.
And pulled the--
*BANG!* *Ker-chak* *BANG!*
<< You used MOSIN-NAGANT on Vampire. Crticial Hit on Both Eyes. >> << You dealt -80 Piercing Damage and Bonus -100 Nerve Damage. >> << Enemy Status is now Blinded. You have Extra Advantage over the target. >>
"GAAAAH!"
"You're not the only one with a peashooter! Mine is longer!"
Shouting with pride, the Half-Elf swiftly pulled back the bolt of her Russian Rifle to load in a third road. This time, it was her turn to grin atthe two holes she made that sat in the eye sockets of the Vampire.
But it was only temporarily. In about 5 seconds, those eyeballs will be constructed like products in a 3D Printer.
That's all the time she needed.
"NELLO!"
"FIRE! FIIIIIIIRE!"
Nello locked one of his tracks. It forced his entire body that was spinning to slow down in its revolution, allowing him to stabilize himself. It was almost like, he was drifting around a tight corner of a Snake-bending highway.
[https://media.giphy.com/media/123xOhqpkS3N0Q/giphy.gif]
Using this movement to his advantage, he was able to turn his turret head quick enough to aim at the flailing target.
*BTOOOOOOOOOOM!*
"Tch! D-DON'T UNDERESTIMATE US VAMPIRES!"
Although he could not see, the Vampire Cowboy already had his Blood Magic loaded. Without the need for accuracy, he aimed in the general direction and pulled the trigger.
The action summoned a giant hammer made of compressed blood. As silly as it sound, the combined mass was equal to that of a monster truck.
Should it land on the ground, everything within a 10 meter radius will be crushed by the incredible pressure.
Then, an additional 5 meter radius will experience a shockwave that would force all trees to snap and fall to the ground.
The Tunguska Explosion.
........
But.
".......G...guaaggg..."
The Vampire Cowboy made an odd sound. As if the air was shot out from his inhuman lungs. When he tried to breath, he felt like the wind just went through him and out his waist.
...Maybe it was because the 76 mm Tank Round sliced through the Firetruck-sized Blood Hammer, scattering it into harmless blood drops---
---And sliced his undead body in half through the waist.
"...............FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---"
With the force of the projectile and the shockwave that left behind, the remains of the angry Vampire was blown through the cieling of tree branches and foliage. Opening it up to the burning afternoon sky.
And that was the last anyone would see of him.
... It didn't end there.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I-it burns!"
"Noooo! M-my beautiful face!! I-it's falling apart!"
"Turn it off! Turn it oooooooooooooff!"
"Uwoooh!? B-Big Sis, wh-why are the bad people melting as if someone splashed acid on them!?"
"....... Th...this is what happens, when an immortal Vampire is tossed out in broad daylight.. D-don't look Nello."
Pastrache grimaced. She used her hands to cover up the muzzle of the Tank's Anti-Infantry machine gun on his turret head. Many people would think this was a stupid idea, even gun safety instructors would yell at her.
But to her, this was exactly what she would do to cover the eyes of the innocent child that lived in the armored body.
One by one, she watched as those Vampire Riders on Skeleton Horses fall off. Their steeds would break into nothing but dried bones and they would collapse in a heap. Due to how radiant the sun was on their body, their limps sloughed off when they hit the ground or tried to claw the light off their face.
Hands turned into ashes. Heads disintegrated. Bodies were left to the torture of open daylight... whatever undead nerves struggling like an insect stabbed by a pin.
.................Then, the entire Werewolf Tribe was covered in a thick layer of soft grey snow...And the Northern Winds swept them away like an unsatisfied janitor.
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<< You are now out of Battle. You are free to Explore the Arizonafall Forest again. >> << You gained 2000 EXP for defeating VAMPIRE HORDE LV 30. >> << Your Relationship with the Lycan Tribe has increased by 80%. You are now 'The Chosen One' >> << Your Relationship with the Vampire Clan has decreased by 120%. You gain 'Fanged Infamy'. >> << WARNING: Vampires will naturally attack you on eye contact. Please seek counselling. >>
"...Sigh...Stupid windows. I'm already depressed as is."
"Cough...Good work, young Elf. I knew my tribe could count on you."
"Don't get the wrong idea. I dislike people in power enslaving those of the weaker position. It doesn't sit well with me... But, I do owe you an apology for my earlier behaviour. Are you still hurt?"
"These rods in my chest? They'll eventually weaken and wear off. By then, my automatic regenration would heal me properly. So whatever you do, don't pull them out now. If you do, I will bleed out violently before my gift could activate in time."
".........If you stop licking my @ss with your tail, then I'll think about not helping you right this moment."
"Sorry. It's animal instincts. You remind me too much of my long gone pack mate...She was definitely a wild stallion in my private life."
"Again, I'm not a dogman or cat girl. I'm not into that kind of flirting."
"...................."
"..................."
"So do you understand now? The nightmare my entire tribe have been facing day after day?"
"...............I do."
"Even if we are to picked up our entire village on rolling logs and relocate to another sanctuary, those god-forsaken Howleys will eventually find us. I hate to admit it, but their intelligence network through the people they've bittened and turned into their thrall is impeccable... We Lycans honestly can't keep up with their intelligence."
".............. Howleys?"
"A, cough, term we used to symbolize foreigners outside of our clan. Especially those blood-suckers."
"............... Then that would make me a Howley too, right?"
"Cough. My chest hurt. I'm slurring."
"............................................"
".....Listen, young Elf. I won't waste my breath or your time with a serious speech. Even if there is no way for your to kill all the Vampires... just save my daughter... she is the only thing of value in my life.. And she is the only hope I have to preserve the peace and prosperity of our dwindling tribe... So... I implore you, accept my Request!"
"...........................................................Very well. I, Pastrache Mooneye, accept your Mission Request."
"....... May the Great Hounds in the Sky Bless you, dear child."
"As for my fee."
"Miss Adventurer...You're not serious."
"It's not that I'm selfish or corrupt. I'm dealing with Vampires, I'm putting my fragile life on the line. There's a high chance that they will not only suck on my blood, but eveything that's pure about my body. Even if it's not to feed my stomach with a hot meal, at least give me some funding to invest in anti-Vampire equipment! Armor and Weaponry are ridiculously expensive these days!"
"...................................................................Ahem. Would Gem Corn and Fire Buffalo Hide suffice?"
"No. Cash or Debit."