Once upon a time, in another world working parallel to our own, in a reality where a tank is reincarnated as the hero of this story of fantasy and adventure.

A certain Half-Elf Big Sister - F**ked up big time... She has been warned...

[https://66.media.tumblr.com/572f45ad3ccb6622a0d8a75591cbb043/tumblr_pnr1czw6jv1wqnuuso1_1280.pnj]

"Dear Diary... I haven't told you this before, but I believe this is the right time to tell you the truth...."

[___TGBWSX___WHATBITCHUJM___?????]

"... I'm actually your mother."

[..................................................TGB?......]

".........PFFFFFFFFFT! PA-HA-HA-HAAAA! AVRIL'S JESTER DAY! HA-HA-HA!"

[.............................................................................RFV?...]

"Gyaah-haa! Y-you should have seen the look on your face! I-it was priceless! D-did you actually believe my body was capable of popping out an artificial intelligence program like you between my legs! I-I mean look at my stomach! Do you see any stretch mark on me? Ha-ha-ha!..."

[................................................WSX...]

"...C-come on, i-it's funny, r-right? It's Avril's Jester Day! Friends and family prank each other on such occassions, r-right? Whether it be a big brother putting scratching powder in their little sister's dress; o-or the Big Sister adding drops of hot sauce in their little sister's contact!.. I-it's the time where we pick on our little siblings and make them laugh with practical jokes.......... Right?"

[..................EXECUTION.]

"BUGYAFFFFGGG!? F**K! MY NOSE! Y-YOU ACTUALLY BROKE MY NOSE! Gow! Sh*t! M-my eye! I can't see! W-what's got into you, D-Diary! Y-you're supposed to laugh it off with finger guns f-from such ridiculous jokes! N-not use me like a punching bag! Gebbfff! Oouyugh! N-not below the belt! My internal organs are being crushed! Gefff! U-Uncle! A-Aunty! S-Stop! I give up! I GIVE UP!"

[WSXQAZ___TGBYHN___PEOPLESELBOWRFCEDX!]

"GYAAAAAAAAAH!...My fifth lumbaaaaaaaaar!"

Anne wished she was a real girl.

She believed that if she had a physical body, with real flesh and bones, she would increase her damage output with her melee stats. Particularly, she would be able to double the stats of her fist and feet.

However, she failed to realize that she was only a inhuman holographic projection, from an artificial intelligence system. It's the fact she is inorganic, her base STR and IMPACT scores were beyond the limits of a human being. Her body need not worry about holding back to avoid breaking bones or tearing muscles.

In other words, she can go ham on the delinquent Half-Elf girl and nothing can stop her.

Anne could essentially kick and punch Pastrache Mooneye for 10 hours straight and never get tired. 

"E-enough! Bugyafff! I-I said stop hitting me, I-I'm so--GGBFFFFB! M-MY MOUTH! N-NOT MY MOUTH! I-IT STILL HAS USES IN THE FUTURE! POOGYGAGFF! F**K! M-MY OTHER EYE! I-I SERIOUSLY CAN'T SEE NOW!"

[TGB__WSX___QAZ___FUKPLMQAZ____!!!!!]

"I-I said I was sorry! Milady Diary, I-I was just jesting with you on this gl-glorious holiday! D-don't everyone just up and give each other crude pranks! I-it should be something worth remembering, n-not worth hitting--Gebffffff!!!!"

More importantly, Anne wished she had a real working voice.

So she could properly curse at her owner with all her heart. But she had to make do and suffice with beating the sh*t out of the Half-Elf Girl who was now curled up on the ground, hugging her head from the assault.

As they were in the middle of a forest next to the Lake House, there was no one there to hear the Half-Elf Scream.

Not even a certain T-34-85 Russian Tank... because the Big Sister asked him to get her a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... Or... rather, she was tricked today into believing there was gold at the end of the rainbow, and thought her little brother tank was faster to grab the pot before it disappeared... Doesn't matter. She's still a bad girl today.

"Sh...shtoooop...I...i cannbuu...b..breaffff....Gugggg! M...my funnngs....cobbbabsbpp...."

[....................................BITCHWSXYGV]

"...I...I showbeee...I...I didn't m...meanfffth tooo......."

[EDCTGB____LIARPKM]

"Of...of honeshly...I...Ibu shaw ab f-famibily dobu thaa shame thingbu...i..itbb was shupposhed to beeef funnn'bfff..."

(H-honestly, I saw a family do the same thing to each other... it was supposed to be funny...right?)

[.........................................................]

"...Pleaf...donbut hibfff---"

(Please don't hit--)

Before the Half-Elf could finish with 'me'... she suffered the pain that all guys feel on a daily basis.

A girl's drop kick to the groin.

"—————————————!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(Inaudible sound)

[53 63 72 65 77 20 79 6f 75 20 62 2a 74 63 68 !!!!!!!]

Please do not convert that from Hex to text... you've been warned.

[https://66.media.tumblr.com/572f45ad3ccb6622a0d8a75591cbb043/tumblr_pnr1czw6jv1wqnuuso1_1280.pnj]

 "Anne. What's wrong? You look mad."

 [WSX___QAZ___TGB___SHUTUPIJB]

"I-I still can't understan—GOW!? S-Stop kicking me in the tracks! It hurts!"

Anne the Hologram Girl abandonned her owner to bleed her life out and think over what she had done. In her rage, she happened to cross path with a certain Russian Tank. He just so happened to come back from his run to the nearest end of the rainbow. 

An odd pot of gold coins hanging from his cannon.

"D-did something bad happen? Are you mad at Big Sis again? Whatever she did today, she's innocent. Oka--GOW! DO-DON'T STOMP ON MY TUMMy! IT'S SUPER SENSITIVE!"

The Tank from Our Reality's World War 2 was three times, nay - five times bigger than the little holographic girl who resembled a blue colored five year old. It carried a cr*p ton of armor that was specialized in deflecting shots from tank rounds and was able to withstand several volleys of artillery barrages and still march through.

Although not the strongest during its time, it was the most frightening in the roster of heavy armor weaponry. It was strong enough to give German Tanks a run for their money.

Yet somehow, this little girl made out of a digital projection was kicking that frightening tank around, giving him a run for his own money. 

"Do you know where Big Sis is? I-I got the golden pot she asked me to grab from the rainbow. It was really scary. At first, I thought was going to be eaten by a scary fog monster, but I met with this pretty lady with green hair and lots of four leaf clovers on her body. She was super nice to me, and she was really happy to play with me. She kept calling me a fattened leprechaun, whatever that is. The nice clover lady gave me some of her gold as thank you for making her happy! Isn't it shiny!?"

[................................................]

"...So...Where's Big Sis?"

[UHBTFC____BURIEDWSX]

"Heh? Shopping? Hmm... I guess that's what she'll do whenever you hit her."

[.........................TGB___!!!!!]

"GOW! PLEASE DON'T KICK ME ANY MORE! I-IT REALLY HURTS MY ARMOR!"

It was unclear how a little holographic projection could harm a tank. However, it was evident her actions were seriously affecting the massive weapon of destruction, seeing how he was already retreating backwards to escape her kicking range. 

Maybe, it might be the fact she was 'inorganic' material, that her attack points doubled when facing another 'inorganic' material... Hard to say, only the Goddess of Combat Mechanics System Maintenance would be able to answer that. Feel free to ask for her guidance, she likes to be called Lola. And don't forget a bottle of 1867 Pinot Noir... Oh, oh, oh, and Whiskey Bon Bons!

[EDCTGB______MADYHN]

"W-wait! Wait! I-I know Big Sis can sound mean somtimes, b-but she really loves us both. She treats me like a little brother, and you a little sister! I-I'm not sure how it works, but I heard from the Russian Crew who onced drove me, that they would pick on their younger siblings too. For sport!"

[.................LIARQAZYHN]

"...Although, they said something about solving most of their disputes wih Russian Roullette, so... I really don't understand why they like laughing at that comment."

[........................................................UHB...]

"Hmm? Wh-what is it Anne? H-heh? You want me to come close? .... I-I dont know, you're going to kick me..... Hmm? You promise you won't kick me... Oh? You're pointing at my nose? What's on my no--GUBYAAAAGFFFG!"

As promised, the Holographic Girl did not use her small blue feet to kick him. Once she culled the innocent Battle Tank to lower his nose to her height, she delivered a beautiful uppercut with her fist right under the 'chin' the barrel.

The entire length shot up, a full 90 degrees. The same way an idiot steps on the teeth of a rake...

... It never came back down.

 "...IT'S STUCK! MY NOSE IS STUCK! HELP! BIG SIS! HEEEEEEEELP!"

Like a hero and an explosion, Anne turned away from the shower of gold coins, a flailing tank, and a falling brass pot as she cooly exited the scene with stomping bare holographic feet.

[https://66.media.tumblr.com/572f45ad3ccb6622a0d8a75591cbb043/tumblr_pnr1czw6jv1wqnuuso1_1280.pnj] 

[EDCTGB___ADOPTMEYHN___NOWPKM]

"... Um...Are you lost, little girl? Tell this Constable where are your parents?"

[YHNOKN____IDIOT]

Anne wanted to get away from it all.

The bullying, the teasing, the the constant habit of people misunderstanding her garbled up radio voice. Having had enough of that life as being someone's diary, she decided to spend the rest of her battery life wisely. That meant marching into a certain capital city and starting a new life on her own.

Like a child starting their first year in college.

...However, the first obstacle she came across after sneaking through the 50 meter walls via water vents... was a certain Royal Constable who was looking down on her. Obviously, not in a rude way.

"Um... My name is George...Constable George Crabapple...What's yours?"

[YHB____GETLOST___RFVWSX]

"Yes, I-I am aware that you are lost and you don't know where your parents are. That's okay. If you stay with me, we'll go back to the station house and see if we can sent a, a couple of officers to look for them. How do they look like, your mother and father?"

[LEFTWSX___RIGHTQAZ]

"...What? I-I can't understand---GOWH!"

To answer the Royal Constable's question about how her 'parents' look like, she bowed to kick at the Constable's left and right shin - in rapid succession. It was like playing a game of telegram. Once she finished sending the Morse Encoded message through the officer's tibia bones, she folded her arms to wait for him to respond.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

"H-hey there now, young lady. Th-that's in direct violation of assaulting an police constable. I-I don't want to do this but I may be forced to arrest you. I hope you understand the consequ--OW! P-PLEASE! S-STOP KICKING ME! I-I HAVE NO PROTECTION BETWEEN MY LEGS! OW!"

Anne didn't give three f**ks.

And the maximum people wouldn't give in our world was two. Venting out some sort of hidden frustration, she proceeding to kick and punch at the Royal Constable who was two times taller than herself. She didn't even make it past the height of his belt. Yet she was throwing wonderful left and right hooks and danced around as if she was in a middle-weight boxing championship.

Based on the killer intent in her eyes, she would surely win the championship title in one round.

"A-are you upset that you can't find your parents? O-or angry that they left you behind to do other things kids...can't join in on? I-I can't tell the difference if you don't explain to me properly! OW!"

[EDCTGBYHN___VICTORYWSXUJM]

"Pl-please! C-cease and desist or I'll ---Gowh! Stop it! Owwh! A-alright! Alright, wh-what do you want? I'll give you anything, even my pocket change! What!?"

The Royal Constable wished his shift would end.

That way, he had the right to go back home and let another constable take care of this rampant little tornado called a lost child. Despite having experience in throttling rowdy men fresh from bars, or wrestling one big bartender after another in a sticky tavern brall, there was one thing he swore he would never do and that was to raise a hand to a child.

RIght now, he was only a hair-breath away from breaking that vow and go ham on spanking this little... ghostly brat.

[...........................................FOODTGB]

"Come again?"

To make sure the man understood what she wanted, Anne gave the Constble one last kick in the shin, before pulling his uniform to turn to the direction she was pointing.

A small wagon selling hand-held hot meals to childlen and young adults.

[WSXRFV____HOTDOGQAZ___WANTNOWPKM.]

".... Are you sure? Frankly, they look really expensive... and now that you mention it, I should check if this man has a proper license or something."

[.......QAZ_____NOWYHNUHB!]

"GOW!--OKAY! I-I SURRENDER! S-STOP HITTING ME! I'LL GET YOU A HOT DOG!!... WHAT, TWO!? D-DON'T BANKRUPT ME! I'M ONLY PAID ONE GOLD PER DAY!---OKAY! OKAY! THREE HOT DOGS! THREEEEE!" 

...It was rest assured that the streets of Londonbabi was kept safe that day...

At least a little tornado was busy stuffing her face with five hot dogs, with lots of mustard and ketchip. No pickles.

[https://66.media.tumblr.com/572f45ad3ccb6622a0d8a75591cbb043/tumblr_pnr1czw6jv1wqnuuso1_1280.pnj] 

"...I'm sorry, but this Guild only allows people above the age of 17... I highly doubt you're even past 5."

[TGB___BITCHWSX____!!!!!!!____OWUHB!]

"Little girl. Please don't kick my desk. I don't want to pay for the damages."

The little Hologram Girl finished her five hot dogs. Then, she got bored and started to explore around the big city.

Regardless of the fact she was the color of astral projection blue from head to toe, no one gave five f**ks about a little phantom girl wandering around in broad daylight (that's more f**ks than earth).

Maybe it was the fact many of these people were or had been Adventurers... and we all know they've seen some serious, serious sh*t, both living and the undead. Seeing another phantom like Anne was really nothing awe-inspiring... maybe that's why the horror film industry in this city was declining.

Because of those statistics and the environmental evidence, a certain Dwarf Clerk was not amused that such phenomon was glaring at her from behind the desk... Anne was too short to be properly seen under the desk... and this was a Dwarf woman she was speaking to.

[TGBYHN___ADOPTMEWSX___NOWQAZ]

"Little girl. Please fix your auto-translation device. I don't care if it sounds cool to speak in another language, frankly, I only speak common. Even if you try and speak Dwarven to me all I hear is noise. So please, either correct your issues or simply get out."

[......................TCHWSX__!!!!]

Given the fact the Dwarf Clerk was protected by the walls of her desk, it left the Living Diary a limited amount of offensive options. She could chance climbing up that wall, going over the top of a trench like a valiant Soldier of the Western Front... but she knew ahead of time that the Dwarf Clerk will only push her off with a flick of her finger to the nose.

Not to mention, she didn't dare to test if her inorganic body could phase through iron such as the iron mace that the Dwarf Woman had on her desk.

Guess she came in at a bad time, the Guild Clerk had just finished lecturing another rude newbie transmigrated from Earth. Some blood on her face put her in a bad mood.

"Like I said, I cannot register you to our Adventuring Guild if you're this young. It's not about size, we have members who are tinier than you, or even as tall as 15 cm and you can slip into your pocket. It's all about legal age, if you're below the requirement, I can't help you. So go home and eat cookies, or text, whatever you children do these day to kill valuable time!"

[..................TEXTRFV___?????____TEACHMEIJMPOKN]

"I don't know what you said, but it felt like you were trying to egg me on to do something evil. As you can see, I'm very busy. Do you not notice the mountain of paperwork I have to process? The Guild Manager is still occupied with fooling around with his third and fourth mistress at the same time. There are about 99.99% documents that require his signature... Frankly, this lack of efficiency irritates me."

[............TGB__?????]

The Hologram Girl tilted her head. Despite acting like a know it all, there were moments in her digital life where she didn't understand matters that were obvious to most people. For instance, why would someone be seeing two different girls at the same time? He's married right, he should only be seeing his wife no matter how she looks or act.

Wouldn't that be called infedelity? That was what Anne was thinking right now.

As if noticing this thought pattern, the Dwarf Clerk let out a long and tired sigh. The name 'E. Cogez' glinted on her name badge.

"Look, I don't know why you're here staring at me. If you want a place to stay, this Guild Hall cannot lend out rooms to people who are not registered members. At most, I could ask the chef to cook you something... but since it's Asiatic Themed tonight, you might be eating pickled Porcupine Boar knuckles and Ivory Swallow Nest Gel for Dessert... Are you alright with that?" 

[.........................................HOTDOGUHBTFC]

"Again, it's Asiatic themed tonight. At most, the closest thing to an Oriental Frankfurt are preserved Cockatrice Liver sausages and Jumping Fish balls... The combination alone has already murdered my appetite."

[..................................PASSTGB]

"Wise choice. Now go home. I want to finally eat my lunch before my dinner break."

[.......WANTJOINYGV]

"Please kindly get the f**k out." 

[https://66.media.tumblr.com/572f45ad3ccb6622a0d8a75591cbb043/tumblr_pnr1czw6jv1wqnuuso1_1280.pnj]

"Hey little sis...... I haven't told you this before, but I think today is the right time to tell you... I'm actually your mother."

"...........But mommy's right here... right?.... Right?"

Anne felt the world crashed around her.

Right after being kicked out of a certain Guild, the first thing she saw was a small family of one mother and two girls walking down the cobblestone street. They were carrying baskets of groceries, propbably tonight's dinner. Pot Roast Boar with Potato Vulcan Stew with Rosemary Feathers... (Narrator drools)

The Hologram Girl didn't know what that was, neither would she know what it tasted like... but that wasn't impotant.

What struck her harder than a hammer to the head... was those words the tomboy big sister said to her pigtail sibling.

"It's true, lil sis! I got laid by a handsome frog prince and gave birth to you!"

"... Mommy!? Mommy!? Is this why you keep telling me you don't know how daddy looks like!? Was it because he was a frog!?"

"JUBILEE! WHAT THE H*LL ARE YOU TELLING TO YOUR LITTLE SISTER!?"

Anne recoiled, at the booming voice of the 'mother' of the two girls. The older one stuck out her tongue to ruffle up the hair of the shorter girl with pigtails. All the while the woman looked like she was about to pop a blood vessel in her brain.

"That is a terrible joke! To say your father was a toad! Does it look like I can biologically adapt to a toad's pe.... ........ You're grounded! For a whole month!"

"Come on, now Mom. It's just a joke. Besides, it's Avril's Jester Day! Psyche!"

"...Mommy...If Daddy is a frog then...does that make me... a frog. too.....uaaaaaaah! I-I don't like froooooogs!"

"Geg!? N-now, now, Victoria, it's okay! Don't cry, don't cry--WHAT THE F**K JUBILEE!"

"Calm down, calm down. It's only natural I should tease little Vickers every now and then, right? Besides, it's what loving Big Sisters do right?"

[.....................................TGB__?????..........]

Anne didn't need to say anything. Even if she did, she was sure no one will listen or understand her.

Pastrache didn't understand her.

Nello didn't uderstand her.

Neither the Constable or Dwarf Clerk could understand her.

No one truly understood what she really wanted...

[________FUKTGB_______]

Realizing that simple idea... Anne bit her lip and kicked a rock across the cobblestone. Its velocity was enough to bounce off the rocks in the ground as if the surface of a water.

*PAK!*

"OW! SON OF A B*TCH! WHO THREW.........that...."

[.......................................B-BITCHWSXUJN___?????]

Anne jumped. There was no need to really. She was a living construction of advanced artificial intelligence that could produce an astral body. She may not able to phase through everything like rock and concrete, but could potentially slip through some cracks in the wall (so longas it wasn't laced with Kryptonite or Cortosis).

Fundamentally, she had no fight or flight response. Not like a regular human. That was why there was no need for the girl to jump on the spot as if startled like a real child. Yet, her body behaved like a real child, regardless of the lack of feeling.

That, or maybe something deep in her heart was so strong it jump started her programming with a physical shock.

So when she turned to see a certain Half-Elf standing behidn her, massaging her shin from the rock... the Living Diary wanted to flee more than fight.

[...................CHICKENFEATHERQAZPLM____??????]

"Gaah! I-it's still in my hair and bosom! Pfffuuuu! Pfffuuuu! L-long story, ptooo! I was looking for you all over. I thought your book body was eaten by chickens and I...well... ended up picking a fight with their whole coop gang... Sh*t, th-their feathers are still stuck in my corset! I-it's rubbing between my packages and it feels terrible! KYAAA! TH-THE STEMS ARE PRODDING ME!!"

[..............IDIOTYHNRFV___!!!!!!]

"A-anyway, that's not the point. I-I'm here after walking 10 miles worth of distance to-to tell you...... to tell you that... I..."

[................LAZYTGBYHNWSX____TCHQAZ]

"...L-look. I know saying sorry isn't going to cut it. Especially after what I said this morning. A-and I know we can't hug it out like a family would and......No, no, no. Th-that's not what I wanted to say first!"

[................................................?????] 

"...F**k it. I'm sorry."

[............................................................................................................]

"I'm really sorry."

[............................................................................................................]

"I...I was an idiot. I saw two sisters this morning, using the same prank that I copied this morning. In the end, they laughed it off, and they hugged saying they love each other, I... I thought....... I'm sorry for not considering the consquences for such a stupid and ridiculous prank."

[...........................................................................................................]

"... Dad gave you to me since I was able to walk... I've cherished you and kept you close to me. I told you all my secrets, my happiness... my pain... especially when Dad suddenly disappeared... I-I really wanted to repay you for all of your patience towards me."

[................................................D....DAD.....]

"Yeah... Our Dad... The same man who made both of us... one through my mother... and by his hands. He told me how he partially made you after recovering your book body from some ancient ruins near the sea... He took great care of you, and asked me to do the same..."

[.................................................A...Aaah.......Aaahhh...]

A small sound of a mechnically whine started to buzz in the air. It was hard to tell where it came from. Was it the engine of some magical machine grinding meat into grounded beef? Could it be this new radio-like device that was trying to find the right channel to a cooking broadcast. Or could it be those new magical toys the shape of a compact mirror that could watch pre-recorded animations on the glass?

... None of those mechanical items matched that awkward sound... only the Living Diary was the possible source.

Her shoulders were shaking.

"....................Diary, I never told you this before... There really was never a good time to tell you..."

[..........................NOTGB...DONTHEARQAZ...]

"I love you, my Diary."

[...........................Tzzz.......Tzzzzzz.......Kchzzzz.....Kukzzzzzzz.]

The sound of static filled the air. The same kind when an electrical unit comes into contact with water or moisture and its sensitive components short circuits. That sparking and blitzing when it burns up and no longer could function.

Anne, the Living Diary, was making those odd noises and flashing sparks, as tears flooded from her holographic eyes.

"...Y...you're... crying."

[SHUTUPTGB!]

"Y...you're really hurt... aren't you?"

[NOWSX___LIESQAZ__FUKERPLM__HATEUJN!]

*Plop*

"...Diary... Please forgive me."

[.......................NOWSX___FAIRTGB__SNIFFTZZZZZ]

A third sound was made that day, something soft and bouncing. It felt like the sweeping of arms to swallow another body, pulling it into a tight embrace. Heart pressed against heart.

That, was what Pastrache Mooneye did exactly for her beloved Diary, Anne.

".................I promise, I won't say cruel things like that again."

[.....L...LIARPLM....LIARYGV...L........]

And a pair of tiny blue arms returned the embrace... hating itself for not being able to cover the whole of the Half-Elf's back.

"...Let's go back... to Nello. He must be lonely without us."

[.......NOQAZ]

"Hmm? Wh-what's wrong? A-are you still not satisified with my apology?... O...okay tell you what, Big Sister deserved it. She was a bad girl today on Avril's Jester Day so... For today only... you get a free punch on---"

Pastrache Mooneye, Level 15+ Adventurer, did not get a chance to finish her innocent sentence...

Because a certain Living Diary swung the most beautiful right hook in the history of boxing — right where the Half-Elf could make a baby if she ever married.

... Trust Anne, it hurts like h*ll.

"——————————————————!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(Inaudible sound)

[...............VICTORYTGBQAZ____!!!!!!!!!!]

~~FIN

Happy Avril's Jester Day

[https://steamusercontent-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/946202126801440689/EAE7DE1360A70C3CC6FB0CAF35AEA74E452D50BF/]