<< You used SLATHER on Nello. You dealt 0 Physical Damage, and -100 Psychological Damage >> << Nello's Status is Uncomfortable: He has disadvantage on Dexterity Saves. >> << Please stop attacking your friend and seek out counselling. >>
“… Um.. Big Sis…Wh-what are you doing to my body?”
“Ssssh. Nello, Don’t move. If you so much as flinch, it will ruin the mood and the atmosphere. This has to be done right!”
“…Why are you covering my body with sticky paint? A-are you giving me a new camoflouge pattern?"
“C-Camoflouge? No, Nello. We’re not going to war! I want us to join the St. V Day Parade!”
Nello didn’t understand. Since the morning to the zenith in the afternoon, he had been sitting on one place across the edge of the Lake House. To be clear, the location he was parked on was the bank of a large round lake. There were no house in sigh, only trees walling off one side of the lake. Not even so much as a summer log cabin with a dog-prints on the front porch and an old mailbox with those classic red flags that go up and down every now and then... Cough.
As this particular spot outside of the city was common for Nello and his close friend to lounge about in between their adventures... let's call it the Lake House.
It rolls off the tongue easier than 'the spot next to large round lake with wall trees, don't you think?
[https://data.whicdn.com/images/307775221/original.gif]
“…St…V…Day?...V-Day…Oh! Do you mean D-Day? I’ve heard about it from the Russian soldiers I used to be with back in Stalingrad. Yeah, they were talking of a rumor about the Allies conducting a super secret invasion on the Normandy and Juno Beaches, so they can fight the mean Germans back to their home tuf! A-am I right, Big Sis?”
“… Nello… I think we're thinking about two completely different ideas. Are you sure you didn't hear me slur my words?”
“U-um. Th-that's just what the other Russian Soldiers kept saying to each other when they were on a break from standing guard on the front lines... D-did I say something wrong?"
“Of course! St. V day isn’t about celebrating violence and warfare! It’s a day to commemorate Love, Relationsihp, and Fidelity! It’s a day designated by the Goddes of Love and Intimacy herself, St. Vis D'Carmen!!
“…………………Victoria Day?”
“N-noooo! V! The letter V! And V onlyyyyy!”
Pastrache was excited. She spend the entire morning and most of the afternoon painting. She was in the mood to buy some fancy looking color buckets, pre-mixed with sparkly dust and a cr*p ton of glitter. The Half-Elf could be found painting her friend’s body from the head to his iron tracks.
… For those of you reading this for the first time, on your phones, tablets, or faithful computers… Nello is a T-34 Russian Tank. Although he is not a real boy, he sounds like a young child who didn’t understand the world, but was forced to be born and fight in a battle during World War 2. FYI.
To summarize, Pastrache was coloring Nello with all shades of glittering pink paint over his trurret, the sides of his armor, as well as the metal covering his tracks. She also bought a baskter of ready-to-use bow times she would stick on edges of the Tank’s body with glue.
<< You used SLATHER on Nello. You dealt him 0 Physical Damage, and -200 Psychic Damage. >> -----
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >>
~Beautiful Backstabber~
You've betrayed your comrades with a smile.
Evil Woman Walking Down the Street.
----- << Please cease all hostility to your party members. >>
“… Big Sis. Th-the sticky stuff you’re pasting the bowties on my legs, they smell weird. I-it smells like a fish…Am I going to rust?”
“Of course not! I would never do that to my little brother (#ObviouslyNotBloodRelated)! This is fish glue, and super expensive! This can make any two pieces of poster paper or objects stick together as if they were borned as conjoined twins…”
“… The smell is making me feel sick.”
“Please bear with me. I could have gone with the scentless horse glue that’s all a rage in the arts and craft world, but just half a bottle, I repeat, half a bottle will bankrupt me… Please endure, Nello. Once the fish glue dries out you won’t smell anything but blueberries... Cough."
“…..Uuuuuh. My tummy feels weird.”
“D-don’t you dare vomit over me! I-I don’t want to be covered in black tar right before the St. V Parade of Floating Love! P-people will mistaken me as someone posing as the Festival’s Mistress in a love affair! They will definitely go gung-ho and tar and feather me with all their netorare-hatred! I-I’m not the kind of girl who steals her friend’s boyfriend!”
“………….Huuurk.”
“O-oh I’m sorry Nello. I’ll stop using it now and give you a break.”
Pastrache frowned, but she didn’t carry the expression on her face for long. It would be disrespectful to Nello’s feeling, especially when she saw his 3 meter cannon starting drop inch by inch to the ground. Like a wilting flower.
The Half-Elf gave the T-34 tank a couple of pats to his front armor, which slowed down the descent of his cannon from touching the dirt in depression.
“… Big Sis. How come we’re going into a parade? You always want me to stay outside of the city whenever you go in and get money from your Guild, or buy something… Why are you bringing me inside now?”
“Because, Nello, the one thing I love about St. V day is the Parade! Every year, I would always beg my mother to take me to see the massive floats of love and passion every day! I knew when I was only as high as her knee, I want to make a float of my own one day! Now that I'm a big girl with some pocket money, this is my chance to make that dream a reality!”
"... Um... I-I was already made in a factory in Russia... I-I don't think you can re-make me again. So why do you need me to help you? I-I don't even have hands."
“I realize, of course, how ridiculously expensive and time-consuming building a real float would cost me. Not to mention the ridiculous amount of safety and regulations limiting my freedom in terms of overall design. H-have you seen their rulebook? It’s even thick than my two thighs! B-but I don’t want to give up so easily.”
“…Is that why you’re painting me with sticky pink camoflouge and pasting bowties on my armor?”
"Cough. Th-that is one of the many noble reasons why I'm volunteering you to—NELLO! DON'T BE A SCAREDY CAT! STOP ROLLING AWAY AND GET BACK OVER HERE, RIGHT NOW! LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO TO MY SMILEY FACE, IT'S SMILING LIKE IT'S SMILING LIKE A LOAN SHARK!"
[https://media1.tenor.com/images/c9c9ff2eed3dff5c3b9f7c0c033704da/tenor.gif?itemid=8657468]
Pastrache clicked her tongue loudly, which was enough to make the 23 ton Russian Tank stop going in reverse and crawl his way back to his original spot in the grass. Althouth Nello was turning his tank turret left and right to show how much he was uncomfortable with this game of dress up… he did the smart things that other men should learn in their youth.
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Give up and listen to the lady…ALWAYS.
“…Sob.”
“O-oh come on, now Nello. Th-think about it! Th-there’s going to be a prize awarded to the best float in the parade! I-if we win, why, I-I can buy you all the ice cream you want! 150 flavors worth!”
“…. I can’t eat ice cream… sniff.”
“Th-then, I’ll buy you all the pet cats and puppies you want! All 101 of them!”
“… They pee on my head… I don’t want it.”
“A monster girl servant, perhaps? I-I heard Transmigrated People from your universe would kill to get a girl fauning over them like a maid to a king.”
“……………………………………….I don’t want it.”
“O-oh please, Nello! Work with me! The parade will start in about an hour and I’m still halfway in finish my decorations! Aaaagh!! Fine! I promise once the show is over and I have fulfill my childhood dream, I’ll properly give you a bubble bath and wash off all the colors from your body!”
Despite all the offers that a king would give up half his kingdom in acquiring, especially another half of whatever was left from the first slice just for the monster girl pet, Nello didn’t seem to be satisfied with those lovely choices. The only thing Pastrache could see was how low the cannon drooped… to the point where it dug into the dirt like an ostrich’s head.
“… I’m sorry Nello. I should have asked for permission before I started painting.”
“W-will this come off? I-I mean, I want to make you happy Big Sis, b-but, but… If there are other tanks in this world that see me, they’ll all laugh! Th-they’re think I’m a girl tank! I-I'm a boy!!... Sort of.”
“I-I assure you, there are no other tanks like you, or any tanks that exist in my world other than you! So-so, no one will laugh… N….not even…b…big sister…..cough…pffft.”
“….. Big Sis is being mean to me! Uwaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
“Nuwoooh!? D-don’t cry, Nello! I-I, pfft, didn’t mean to laugh. I-I was being serious about the whole fulfilling my childhood dreams! Pfffft--F**k!”
The Half-Elf felt at a lost as she started to hear her tank friend making wailing sounds. Although she knew there was no one inside of his crew compartment he called his belly, she was positive that the voice projecting from his armor was alive and intelligent… if not weak of heart.
Somehow, she felt like the villain in this messed up sibling situation. Her mother would be so disappointed in her.
"F**k. I-I can already hear her voice telling me how much I messed up and how I'll never marry a guy if I keep up this attitude... Just... f**k."
"...Sniff...Sniff..."
"..............Say Nello. What dreams did you have when you were a young boy… I mean, tank?... B...baby tank?”
“Sniff. I-I don’t know… The first day after I was produced from the factory, I was rolled out with 1000 of my tank brothers to the frontllines during the Battle of Stalingrad. Five days later, I was punched in the face by a German Tiger Tank, sniff… then some pretty lady with scary eyes dropped me into your world… I-I don’t think I had time to think about anything other than not get shot at.”
“But, have you, you know... Always wanted to be something else in life? Other than a weapon, or tool of destruction that is."
"... Um... I-I think... I want to be a real boy. A boy who has to hands and feet where I can actually run down the road without crushing anything. Oh, maybe I can finally climb up a mountain without flopping on my back, that's no fun... A-and... If I really became a boy, I-I would like to try painting, of people I meet and the beautiful scenes I would see in your world... Oh! I-I really want a dog too! Not the type that pees on my head though."
"BICHUU!"
"Oh! Big Sis sneezed.. is that agood sign?”
“Guuugh. I-I think I stayed up too late last night, thinking about the possible designs I would paint on your body for the Love and Passion Parade. I might have caught a cold. Sniff.”
In the end, the Half-Elf let out a sign and patted her hand across the front armor of the T-34 Tank. As if realizing that she was not using his body for her own personal agenda, the turret tank lowered the barrel of his anti-infantry gun at her head.
Please note, that was his ‘eye’.
[https://i.giphy.com/media/JIS3HjZexQJsk/giphy.webp]
"Big Sis, are you sad? W-was it something I said? I-I'm sorry."
"No, no, no. Nello. You're not the one at fault. You're too cute to be a bad boy... I'm the one causing problems for you. I wasn't considerate of yoru feelings and I was dragging you along on a whim... Since you're not comfortable in going to parade, let's stop here and have a nap."
"O-oh um, Big Sis, I want to go but... I can't."
"Hmm? What do you mean, Nello? Is it the paint I'm using that's making you feel conscious... You're right, if I tilt my head the right way, you really do look like a poorly dressed little tank girl. There aren't any other boy tanks here other than you, but even then the people watching the Parade my laugh at my cr*ppy penmanship. I'll get you another color."
"I don't want to cause you trouble, that's why I'm scared of going."
"Scared? Why?"
"Because I'm too big... I'll break things."
Somehow, the words from the child-like voice of the T-34 Tank struck something inside of Pastrache's heart. She took several steps back from the tank, not out of fear or to admire her handiwork with the paint job she applied to his armor.
... Nello was right? He's big. Not like fat, husky, or D*****MN. He was 2.45 Meters tall and 3 meters wide. If he turned on the spot, he would rotate his length to reveal a full 6.5 meters. He was specifically designed to be able to march down an empty street or road in a city...
But since such city was turned into a reckless battlefield, the designers woud not really care if such tank were to turn and break sh*t around them. Besides, swinging the hind tail to plow through a toy store would not scratch the anti-impact armor on Nello's body.
It was in this moment that the Half-Elf realized how senstive and self-conscious he was of his size... He could easily run over a small animal or drunken sod under his 2.3 ton tracks without even realizing why he kept hearing squealing sounds.
"The only reason Big Sis kept me waiting outside of the city, is because the gates are too small. If I walk in now, I'll break a lot of things. I-I don't want to become a bad boy and get Big Sis in trouble."
"N-Nello...Th-this whole time... you've been worried about destroying things inside of the city just because of your size. Wh-why didn't you tell me in the beginning?"
"... I... I was scared... that Big Sis will call me fat."
"Never!"
"Really?"
"Of course I won't ever call you fat! No, you're............fluffy!"
"...What's the difference?"
"To others, you look like marching golem with a nose that can shoot fire and eyes that could stare someone down and turn them into Swiss Cheese. To me, you'll always be this big and lovable fluffy guard dog that will protect my tiny 24/7! Yes!!"
<< Accessing Pastrache's POV...................... COMPL---N-Nello!? >> [https://i.imgur.com/aTXHXy1.gif]
"... Isn't that still fat?"
"No, Nello, you weren't paying attention to how much I love you."
"Uuuh... I wish I was born smaller..."
The Tank let out a low moan as he flopped his 3 meter long barrel into the ground. It was hard to tell since he had no face, but it truly felt like he was depressed over his build. Somewhere in his 'brain' he planned on going on a strict no fuel diet... Oh poor kid, he can't eat anything and he's already restricting his intake.
"Come on, Nello, don't be like this. You don't have to worry about breaking open any gates today! Because of the festival, the city is opening a special entrance to allow Floats and Carnival Rides to enter from other towns and capital cities, so you'll fit right in. All I have to do is finish up your lovely disguise and we can march right in with the others! I-it will be fun!!"
"B-but what happens if I turn? Won't I knock out other people with big wagons, or, or drive my nose into a building?"
"... W-with some rehearsals before hand, I-I know you can avoid even a little cat should it jump into the middle of the road!"
"What happens if I sneeze?"
"Oh good lord the massacre..."
"... I'll stay here... you go and have fun Big Sis."
"NO! You're coming WITH ME, Nello!"
"Gug! D-don't pull on my nose, i-it huuuuurts!"
Regardless of the sheer difference in body mass, Pastrache started to pull on the T-34 Tank by the muzzle of his cannon barrel. Of course there was no way all that heaving and hoing would budge a vehicle that weighed about 2.3 tons, but think of it this was.
In spirit, Nello was like a boy. It would make sense for boy being dragged by his older sister to lose balance, and lose to the sheer difference in strength between siblings.
Hence, the Half-Elf miraculously dragging the Russian Tank inch by inch.
"We're going to go into town and have fun! I'll fufill my childhood dream and you get to walk around in the city without people throwing rocks at you like the ungrateful Halflings! People will love you! There will be couples who want to hit it off on this St. V day and would write their names together under an umbrella rune on your body for good luck! You will laugh, you will giggle, you - will - have - a great time?"
"... You really want someone like me to follow you? Even when I'm really fat?"
"You - are - not - fat - Nello! You - are - fluffy! Fluffy!"
"................Okay! I'll do it! Let's go into the parade! Onward, There's No Land Behind the Volga!"
"That's the spirit--NELLO! W-WAIT! WAIT UNTIL BIG SIS IS STANDING AWAY FROM YOUR TRACKS! NUWOOOH! IF YOU SUDDENLY RUN LIKE THAT, YOU'LL RUN ME OVER! WAAAAAIIIIIT!"
Without any further mishap, the Half-Elf and T-34 Tank entered the grand St. V Day Parade of Love, Passion, and Relationship. RUmors of a cute looking armored wagon with an adorable pink suit and a long pointy moustache with a monocole was the talk of the town.
In the end, the first prize went to one float that displaed a beautiful Greco Goddess of Love in a gravure pose. Second price, the cute wagon with the pink suit and pointy moustache.
"...What the f**k... WHAT THE F**K!? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD PASS OUT SKIMPY LINGERIE THAT'S BEYOND EROTIC WITH STRINGS THAT BARELY COVER ANYTHING! E-EVEN THE THREE CORNER OF CLOTH ISN'T ENOUGH TO COVER THE TIP OF MY PINKY FINGER! WH-WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THIS!?
"Ooooh! Look Big Sis! The cloth your hold is super cool! It has two light bulbs flashing on them!"
"N-NELLO! D-DON'T LOOK! TH-THIS IS NO SIGHT FOR AN INNOCENT CHILD TANK TO SEE! LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAAAAAAYYYYYY!"
Happy Valen—I mean St. V Day everyone~♥!
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