“Life is so boring.”
“A-at least explain to me wh-why I’m in this messed up looking Purgatory!? I-I don’t recall having an allergy to cats so-so why did I suddenly kick the bucket the second I touch a cute kitten!?”
“Did you not hear me, little girl? Like I just said, Life is so boring. Why does everyone have to end with a regular bad ending that we always see in your world’s drama shows? Honestly, it’s really no better than writing the cause of death for everyone in a selected region due to a heart attack. Please understand, this isn’t an Anime!”
It was Purgatory…kind of.
Normally people from our world would pass through this medium stage where it’s decided whether you go up or down. It all came down to your overall credit score on your Karma Profile. Factors such as how much you have donated to the wrong girl scout organization, having a lovely relationshi with a cute nun, fantasizing about your wife with another man's wife - were taken into great consideration. (#TreatNunsWithIceCream)
A stranger from our world was standing in such a medium…
...Only to be dragged into another dimenions that did not look like a realm filled with grey neutral clouds or guarded by a gold or black gate. Rather, the stranger realized she had been moved into an alternate space.
"...A 3LDK?"
"Haezzz...I may be a Goddess but I don't get paid much for my services to my world. Not to mention, the price for pocket dimensions are getting ridiciulously expensive!"
It was 50 meters in diameters, a perfect circle.
The ground was covered in checkered tiles like a game of chess. In one corner there was this Alaska King size bed with silk curtains used to hiding the master of the house when she rests, the wood and banisters hand-carved from France. On the other side was this long and lofty couch made of purple velvet, big enough for a family of five to sit in and comfy enough for one lazy salary woman flop across and nap, the assembly instructions left on the floor bearing a brand name from Switzerland. And the center of the floor was highlighted with this fancy looking hand-knit rug made with multiple homey colors, woven in Fogo Island, Newfoundland.
"... Just how much cr*p does one Goddess have? Th-this is enough to be converted into a celebrity cafe?"
"It can't be helped. The pop culture in your world is more exciting than the coronation of a new king in my reality. Of course I can't resist becoming infatuated with well known artists and inventors from John Lennon to Thomas Edison! Why do you Earthen people get all the interesting characters!?"
A small hallway table was covered with all sorts of memorabilia, ranging from different major eras in Earth history. Starting with coins collected from the Mesopotamian Civilization, aromatic herb satchels from the Roman Empire, pieces of wood from ships that had circumnavigated the globe, a compass left behind in early Arctic Expeditions, fresh Poppies from the fields of Belgium, exotic glass bottles from the Prohibition Period, to photos of the first supersonic Concorde jet and headlights from the first models of the Kawasaki motocycle.
That much cr*p.
It would explain as to why the stranger, a regular high school girl was this confused.
"There has to be a mistake. I was on my way home from school when I came across my neighbor's cat who she locks out for scratching her couches. I was only comforting the little guy and patted it on the head. S-so explain to me how did I end up in this messed up part of heaven! I wasn't even on the road!"
"Like I said, your demise came from allergy to animal fur. Please keep quiet and accept your tragedy. Sigh."
“I-I really don’t think I’m allergic ti cats…unless… m-my father lied to me so he could see how puffy I can turn into. The rat b@stard!... B-but..W-what the H*ll!? A-A goddess from another world knows the science behind anime! Wh-what is this world coming to!?”
“Yes, yes, yes. I even have years worth of this ready to eat meal called Cup in a Noodle stored in a pocket space under my armrest. Now that I mention it, it's already getting close to lunch break, I need something to nibble one or I'll get cold chills. Ahem. Now, let's hurry and get down to the official processing shall we?”
“…Wait…C-Cup in a Noodel, isn’t it the other way around?”
“Oh me, oh my. Someone wants to be reborn as a hamster.”
“O-oh dear god, please no! I-I heard Hamster boys a-are super violent wh-when they’re in heat. Th-they’ll rip through my body like paper with their mini-drill! Sh*t, I-I'm starting to break into a sweat just imagining how I might become a hamster love slave!"
“Fu-fu-fu. At least someone has some manners. Not like some ungrateful reincarnated b@stards that call me a woman with scary eyes!”
“…Well…you… do have… rather sharp eyes.”
“Hmm. I heard Worms are new fad amongst transmigration enthusiasts.”
“Oh please no. That’s just as worse. I-I have to cut myself in two to have a partner… that’s… a cest on a whole new level that I want no part of.”
“Then drop to your knees and beg for forgiveness!”
“…I-I won’t lick your shoe.”
“D*mn it little girl! I’m the Goddess of Rebirth and Second Chances! Do I look like that happy go merry woman married to the Greco Death God who carries a scythe like a housewife holding a spatula! She's the one who has a dominatrix fetish, not me!"
The high school girl dropped to her knees and put her hands to her head. She receivd no formal training, but self-tought from watching a lot of cops and robber movies broadcasted by the nation that flew the Star Spangled Banner. She would carefully look up at her captor—Eer, Goddess and see who she really was.
Sitting upon a throne made of crystal ice and floating mist, was this beautiful lady.
As she was the status of a goddess, there was no point in descrbing how beautiful she was because most goddess in their life would want people to praise them being better looking than gravure models. She was definitely a looker, even when she was as angry as a storm marching towards a harbour.
However, her one defining feature to take away from wasn’t the beauty mark under her eyes… but those sharp, sadistic, and decisive gaze.
A beautiful goddess with scary eyes.
“My name is Lady Odyssey. As the Goddess of Rebirth and Second Chances, I will offer you a new life in my world. So what class would you like to take?”
“W-wait. Wait. Does everyone who come through here have to go to a world born from fantasy? To somewhere full of flying dragons, psychic mages, o-or even an large war between pretty elves and scary orcs? C-could it be like some kind of steam-punk society where guns and airships are the common place? I mean… not offense, but the 'reborn in fantasy life' is a bit clichéd. Even in modern Anime.”
“…You say that, yet I still receive over millions of request to be sent to my world just so they could find a cute monster girl or elf woman to marry or to simply bang their brains out. And I’m not taking about shooting real bullets.”
“Tch. Men.”
“Tch. Men.”
The Goddess who sat on the crystal throne sighed along with the visitor she had kneeling. She swayed her hourglass hips to the side and switched her legs around. As if to subset a heading, she took a puff from what looked like a thin and elegant smoke pipe as narrow as an incense. Rainbow e-vapors escaped her lips. (#Don'tSmokeLikeHer)
“…Ew! Y-you’re not wearing any panties!? A-aren't you a Goddess!?’
“Sh*t! I-I was in a rush this morning because the Goddess of Debt and Memory was knocking on my door! I-I forgot to cover my private places right after bolting out of the shower!”
“Wait... Don't tell me that... before I showed up, did... every lonely man or woman caught a glimpse of paradise under your skirt?"
“VER-D*MMIT!”
The highschool girl frowned when she noticed how fast the Goddess was picking up on that simple logic. Maybe it was in the interest of time, or she didn’t like to be watched while she changed - especially if the visitor was a woman - but she continued, her thighs clamped tigher than an oyster shell.
“I can still see them. As a fellow women, it’s shameful.”
“I-I’m not doing this as a fetish for boys who pass in here! I-I’m serious trying to work! You don’t understand despite how large the world I watch is, there is just not that many people! The current population isn’t even close to your world by 5% and cities are collapsing because they’re either too small or too poor to support themsveles. By following with ths Transmigration Program, we could boost the economy and stir up the old blood with people from your world who think outside of the box.”
“So essentially, your sending radom teenagers and adults to an alternate world, just for business…how is this different from human trafficking.”
“I get their signed consent.”
“Way to side step that land mine.”
The Goddess pouted and waved her smoke pipe as a way to close the argument. Just as she was about to begin the official transmigration process, however...
“Hmm??…Hey!! Why is a Christian Angel trespassing on my territory!? You’re Divine Agency have properly submitted the papers and dispatched this visitor to me to send to my world! Your internal organization said there’s an over capacity from where you come from because most people don’t want to reincarnate back to their world so soon!”
“…H-heh? What?..Um…I think this cute angle girl is telling me there’s a mistake.”
“Absurd. The only fault belongs to your Divine Agency. Christians do like to put blame on others, don’t they?”
“I may be Japanese, but I’m Christian. Don’t make me kick your @ss in the name of the Lord.”
“…………………………….Tch.”
As if realizing she was outnumbered in a fist fight, the Goddess turned away from this beautiful and sweet looking angel with delicious bedhair, who began to start whispering into the highschool student’s ear. An expression changed on her small face.
“You got the wrong person. The person you’re looking for is a foreigner from Denmark.”
“I-Impossible! Th-this isn’t my first time at the rodeo, little girl! I was as diligent as the nurses in your reality double checking medications three times before administering it to a patient! I even relied on this card printed with the 7 Rights and 3 Confirmations, laminated and riding in my breast pocket!"
“The person you want has the exact same name as me. But I’m Japanese, so the first and last names are reversed.”
“F**k!!"
After clearing the misunderstanding, the Goddess sucked on her pipe hard enough to ignore the high school girl giving the woman with scary eyes a bad face. With a *PAAAAH* sound effect, the angel with delicious bedhair took the girl away, back to the living (another internal confusion).
Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
----------------------------------------
“……………Life is so boring... Sh*t! I forgot to boil the kettle!”
The Goddess had a long hard day. She finally decided to go for her long overdue lunch break. So she used her magic to give herself a hearty meal.
Boil some water with an electric kettle to hydrate her instant noodle in a cup.
"... Shrimp... I'm in Shrimp Flavor kind of mood... yeah..."
<< NOTIFICATION: You have a new Visitor in your Realm Space!! >> << A new Candidate for Transmigration wants Access to your Domain. Do you Accept? (Y/N)?>>
“…Hmm? Tch. Can’t those halo-wearing, wing flapping Divine Agency do anything right?? At least let me finish my lunch!”
Remebering her title as the Goddess of Rebirth and Second Chances, she sighed in absoute defeat. She ended up pressing the 'Y' for Yes and submit the request order to be completed. The moment the mystical screen closed, she poured the hot water into her foam cup.
*FUWABOOOOOOOM!*
“………………………………………………..The f**k?”
The lady with scary eyes felt her entire Heaven Space jump, as if experiencing an instant earthquake. Impossibe, she designed it so she wouldn’t have to be bothered with the recoil of natural disaster. She wasn’t like that trigger-happy Goddess of Nature and Rebuilding, who intentionallu throw in whirlwind storms and natural disasters onto a city like some kind of sick feature in a video game. (#SimCityFunButScary)
“………………………Ah.”
So when the Goddess turn, she dropped the half-filled cup of ramen noodels from her hand.
“…Wh…what the h……..F**k it.”
Unsure what to make of this new sight, the heavenly woman walked across her tiled floor.
…A tank.
There was this large tank that was lying crippled on the ground in front of her. Its armor was broken, its tracks ripped up, and the turret head had this massive hole in it. As if cannon shot it open point blank. Whatever magic had shifted this entity to her space, also collected some of the dirt and snow from the land it came from. At the same time, the Goddess could see the tank still freshly bleeding with oil onto her chess-pattern tiled floor.
She just sanitized it only yesterday…now, it was leaving foul odor in her room.
The Goddess with Scary Eyes frown.
“……What the H-E-Doube Hockey sticks are those idiots in the Holy Immigration Organization doing? I told them only teenage boys and girls in their prime! I don’t mind the occasional salary man or office lady who are in deseperate need of some excitement in their life but this is beyond the pale!”
The Goddes scowled. Many deities of her calibre would love to be called beautiful, no matter the circumstances. Sad. Crying. Rage. Nothing but perfect beauty. So we will leave her twisting expression as is. Still it was easy to tell by her scowl that this was not going to be a good day for whoever fell into her beloved room.
“Honestly. Even when we have an agreement, they always send me the sh*tty kids and useless humans with zero skills! I am the Goddess of Rebirth, give me someone who qualifies as a hero! Or is it true that all of those movies about big hulking men with ridiculous amount of muscles and European accents all fake! GAAAH!”
To vent out her frustrations of her century-long job, the Goddess with Scary Eyes kicked the dead tank.
<< PASSIVE SKILL ACTIVATED: PUPPET_LOAD. >>
=== RETRIEVING MEMORY FILE: FLANDER-0128-A. ===
“OW! TH-THAT HURTS! TH-THAT’S WHERE THE PANZER SHOT MY LEG!”
“Geggg! Sh-sh*t, I forgot anything dead I touch automatically gets reborn. Tch! S-such a troublesome feature! I-I can’t even touch a regular human man without turning him into a girl prettier than me when we try to do stuff only married couple should do. This is no fun!”
“…U…Um…Lady…It hurts…Could you please not kick me anymore?”
“Hmm…I’ll just have to kick you again to turn you off. Hyup!”
*THONK*
“OW! S-STOP IT!”
“Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff…Tch! This is a pain in the @ss.”
“…………Sniff.”
“What are you crying you brat!? You’re alive now, and you can talk! So what are you weeping about!?”
The Goddess of Rebirth and Second Chances up and snapped at the half-dead tank that had fallen apart in her heavenly bedroom/chamber. She gnashed her teeth, and even tapped her shoe in front of the being while she waited for an answer.
The voice of a small boy spoke up… and what used to be a 3 meter long nose was now 1.5 meters with a nasty 45, 35, and 25 degree bend. A messed up series of Zs connected by their end.
There was this strange bandage tied around one part of his nose.
“... Well!? Speak up! Or forever hold your breath after I kick you off my platform and into my world’s atmosphere.”
“……………………….Did…I win?”
“Win what?”
“The war.”
“You’re just an armored car with a f**ked up nose. I highly doubt you won the war. Look at where you are. You’re dead.”
“……….I…I am?”
“Isn’t it obvious little boy? Or do you want this grown woman to kick some sense into you.”
“GUUHG!?”
The tank let out a small sound, like a young man being kicked in the face by a sadistic woman with heels. Which…is exactly what the Goddess did. Whatever positive aspects about her were gone, only that defensive wall that blocked her heart from any living being she would grand a second chance too.
The wrath of a businessmen.
“I don’t have time to talk really, little metal heap. I’m technically still on my lunchbreak and my time limits are strict. Once my break is over, I’m back in the trenches and have to transmigrate more people over to my world to boost the economy….Speak. What do you want?”
“I-I want to know if Russia was able to beat the German Tanks!!”
“…Russia?”
"Nn…”
“…Now that you mention it, you don’t look like an M1 Abrams…Don’t look at me like I’m crazy, I’ve read up on your world’s modern day science. I’m no fanatic, but at least I have to keep up with your god-d*mn technology or risk being left behind by the other goddess. See, I even have the latest Smarphone from that company with the half-eaten apple!! I may not know how to use it, but at least I can still look cool in front of my holy peers!”
“…………………………………………………………………………………………I’m confused.”
“Sigh. What year were you born?”
“Um…1943.”
“How old are you?”
“Five days old?”
“…Serious?”
“…I…I was born to fight the German Tanks that were invading Stalingrad…M-My tank brothers and I were one of the last few defenses. I-I don’t know what happened but… I got really mad and I fought the scary German Tiger Tanks by myself… I still don’t know what happened.”
“…Hmm. I see. Battle of Stalingrad. Well, you definitely had it rough little boy.”
“Uwaaah. L-lady’s hand is so warm.”
The Goddess crouch down and rested her arms on her knees. With one hand, she reached out to touch the tank on the scarred head, making his remaning nose twitch uncomfortably. She tilted her head left and right, eye lids twitching. It was like she was downloading some information from the simple touch.
“…Ah yes. You were born from the Kharkiv Komintern Locomotive Factory and had to be deployed to support the 53rd Russian Tank Battalion of the former Soviet Army.”
“Y-yes! That’s right, how did…….f…former Soviet Army? D-did we lose?”
“No, no. They just went bankrupt after the Cold Wars and became a different Russia.”
“………………….What’s bankrupt?.”
“I…Hmm? Odd. What is this hiding in your mind? ….A second memory file?”
“M-mem? What?”
“Ssssh! Let me see it.”
“Nuowooooh! Th-the scary lady’s hand is digging into my bodyyyyyyy!”
The half-dead tank panicked, as the Goddess soon drove her hand into his structure. A glowing light filled her arm, allowing her to enter into some kind of magical space within the vehicle. With some fumbling, sticking out her tongue in awkward angles, she found it.
And quickly pulled her arm out.
“……Y…you….”
“…M…me?”
“…………………….I don’t belive it.”
“Wh-what? What’s the matter?”
The tank tried to raise its cannon, but a metal shrapnel as big as a pizza wedge was lodged in his spaces so it couldn't go any higher. All he could see was the Goddess’s fine legs as she stood up. If only he could see this ghostly and sweaty expression on her face.
“…You…you were… reincarnated…your true past life… isn’t in the defence of Stalingrad.”
“…N…no? D-did I make a mistake?”
“You’re that boy…. Who died frozen on the steps of the church in Belgium…you and that dog…. You’re… Nello.”
“………………………….Who?”
The Goddess stared at this half-dead tank that spoke in the voice of a small child. The tank tried to look up at her, but again his cannon was jammed and his gimped body was bent in an awkward angle. There was no way for him to look up with his head that could only swivel 360 degrees circle.
“…….You’re… my favourite book.”
“I-I don’t understand.”
“So when I realized that even going through all that hardship, sticking with your faithful dog to the end, to when you had hope upon seeing that open door in the back of the church…….I cried when I read the ending… Did you know that?”
“…………..I’m…a book?”
“…it seems my powers weren’t so useless afterall. One kick and I somehow connected back to your original personality…However, your body… to think you had to be reborn as a soldier first…Did you find your friend, your faithful dog in the past life.”
“…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………”
“…Little tank.”
“A girl died when she gave me this bandage.”
The Goddess recoiled when she saw the tank raise the cannon up high, snapping open the debris jammed in its head. The tank then revealed the soot covered bandage that was tied around the barrel.
“…………I…I wanted to tell her I will protect her…but…….the enemy shot at me and…and…”
“………………………………………………………..Hey.”
“Guggg!?”
The tank made a small sound, like a young man how was kicked by a sadistic woman with high heels. The Goddess did that… only it was more of a nudge with her foot across the most armored part of the tank’s broken body. To her flat smile, a plate broke off and clattered on the ground.
“…Ow.”
“Sorry. My bad. I was trying to act cool to get your attention.”
The Goddess took in a deep breath… and finally smiled. Somehow, those sharp eyes no longer had that intimidating effect on anyone right now.
“Would you like a second chance to save her?”
“Yes. I do!”
“………Ha..ha…You’re the first transmigration candidate who truly wanted to enter a new world, just to save a sweet girl. Not to bang her.”
“…Why would I shoot her? Sh-she’s not my enemy.”
“Wouldn’t you know how many men would not say that. Ha-ha-ha.”
The tank was confused, lowering his barrel. But then he saw the legs of the Goddess walk away, her shoes clapping into the ground. She then jumped and sat down on her throne made of crystal ice and floating mist. Leaning to the side with her legs cross, she smiled.
“Little tank. I’m sending you to my world to become a hero. The wish you desire is to protect someone you failed to save twice in your life. I hope, third times the charm for you. Before we begin the official transmigration, do you have anything to say?”
“…………………………………………..”
“…Little tank. Don’t be shy. Say anything you want. Normally, I let the brave new hero from your dull world say things like ‘I’m going to be the king of the world and build my ultimate harem!’….Something like that. It’s fun to watch…So…what would you like to say?”
“Um…………Miss Lady.”
“Yeeeeeeeees?”
“Why do you have this weird looking exhaust pipe between your legs? Is that where you load an artillery shell?”
*CLUNK*
“…Hmm?—NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
With a press of a button across a majestic arm chair, the trap doors under the half-dead tank opened.
The vehicle dropped right through, scarring the checkered tiles due to its oversize, and it plummeted through the atmosphere of a green and blue world covered in purple aura.
The Goddess on the throne watched as she listened to the screaming of a falling cat. When she no longer heard his voice, she released the button to seal the exit on her floor. With a sigh of content, she uncrossed her legs with a smile.
“…Pantieeeeees. Pantieeeees.”
And clamped her bare legs together until she could finally look for a pair of clean underwear in her many drawers.