:: Dear Diary…. It seems it had dawn to me that I have overlooked something very important. I don’t understand Nello. Not as in a person… tank… gol—Just hear me out. I don’t understand how Nello fights. Sure, I’ve seen him in action when he rescued me from being violated by Dire Wolves, Orcs, Manticores, and the occasional perverted Adventurers, but I really don’t know his strengths, his weaknesses, or how he prefers to fight if he's by himself. I should really take the time to sit down, talk to him, and get to know how he operates in battle. Maybe, I could learn to adapt and make better strategies, we are in the same party after all. ::
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“Okay Nello, show me your body! Hurry!”
“H-heh!? B-Big Sis! Wh-why are you asking s-something so private all of a sudden! A-and with super serious eyes!”
Nello was in a good mood today.
What with the sun being so clear and the fact that there were so many sheeps in the sky!...Ah sorry, they’re just cloud…Stop the bus – th-those were actual Sheeps with Falcon wings taking to the sky! OH! IN CLASSIC V-WING FORMATION! Q-QUICK! S-SOMEONE PLAY THE THEMES SONG FOR THE UNITED STATES AIR FORCE! (*bunny narrator salutes!*)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHOq6Sl9u38)
"Nello! Where do you think you're staring at!? An-and why does my maidenly pride feel hurt that you're only caring about those pigs that's flying in the sky!?"
Alas, all of that was ruined when Pastrache suddenly reach her hand to grab the tip of the 76 mm cannon and pulled it down. It was like grabbing a girl’s pigtails to make her look at the attacker’s level…Boys, don’t do that, ever. It’s not sexy – it p*sses us maidens off.
“Nuwooooh! B-Big Sis! Wh-what!? What!?”
“I’m serious Nello! I need to know how your body functions, especially when we are in battle! How else am I to support you if I don’t know how you fight? The last thing I want is to hide behind your body and you move without warning. My body is super soft compared to you, I don't want to be squished and become a stain on your tracks."
“Uwaaaah. Th-that would definitely be a terrible sight…I-I don’t want to squish Big Sis.”
“Good boy, now show me your body!”
“W-wait! P-please do-don’t lift up my panel b-between my tracks and peek inside! M-my body isn’t ready yeeeeet!”
Pastrache ignored the objections of her friend, because she truly believed what she was doing was the right choice for their future. Even if it meant pull up the iron skirt of the young boy living inside of the tank (read: the cover panels for his own board circuitry) her actions were totally justifiable (#TanksHaveFeelingsToo).
She would dig her hand inside the tight spaces, looking around and touching different steam pipes, pressure gauges, to even pieces that look like expensive electrical wires. Everything was connected to generators, modulators, and voltage transformers, which all connected to Nello’s V12 Diesel Engine.
“Haaan…Pant pant…B…Big Sis….I…uummn…C…can’t…I….I…Aaah...”
“…Nello, your insides are super messy.”
“I-It’s not my fault the factory rushed to produce me along with my 2000 tank brothers to enter th-the battlefield. S-Stalingrad was under attack by German Tigers and Panzers! Th-they had to keep making more of us to defend the homefront! Aaah! N-not there, B-Big Sis! Th-that's my carburetor!"
“Still, whoever made you should have been more considerate. I cold see 10 flaws in your system and I haven’t included the rust that are building between your legs!”
“Nooooo! N-not my axles! P-please don’t look down theeeeeeere!"
Nello’s turret head turned to the side with his 3 meter nose lowered. It was to mimic a young man covering his face in shame while Pastrache inspected inside of his front panels. She would soon check the storage compartment on his sides, the exterior entrance to check on his engine in the back, to even crawling under his tracks to get a better look under him.
…Brave girl on so many levels.
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >>
~ Tank Toucher ~
You molested your Tank Friend. Shame on you. Please seek counselling. << CONGRATULATIONS: You gained +500 EXP for Technical Exam. You acquired Technician Lv 2!! >>
“Gunyaaaahggg! B-Big Sis…d-d-don’t…don’t….t..ouch…no…aaahnn…”
“…What are all these metal pipes for, Nello? There’s so many of them. Do they go anywhere?”
“Nnngg…Aahhngggnnn.”
“Nello? Are you listening to me?”
“Uuggguuugg…”
The Half-Elf Girl sighed. Probably can’t hear her voice because she was lying right under the 26.5 ton's crawl space. Her voice bounced off of so many metal parts, it became distorted into a wierd echo. She ignored it and continued her examinations, her fingers running through exposed cable to see where they went. Every now and then, she would forget she was crawling under a tank so her knees would often kick up and nudge into a part under the tank's body.'
"Hwaaaauggg! Uuuggghhuiiiin! P-please! B-Big Sis! N-no more! Th-this is too much f-f-for me! M-my engine i-is going to expl--Nyaaggguuugg! M-my s-suspenion coiiiiiiils!"
Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.
If Pastrache were a mechanic, she could see that the schematics of her tank friend was simple to the point of being fallible. There were lots of redundant parts install, as if to fix a problem the mechanics couldn’t solve with few months of development.
In otherwords, 100% mass production at the cheapest material cost and faster rollout speed.
One reason how former Soviet Russia was able to produce about 80,000 different T-34 Variants across the Second World War to battle against the German Werhmacht and their Panzer Corp.
Three simple rules of business: Low cost. Fast production. Easy to make.
“Nnnnnnnnnnnnggggnnnnggggggggggggg!”
“…Nello? Are you okay? You’ve been making those sounds for the last hour…Don’t tell me… you need to go, now?”
“N…No….Gnnnnnnnggggg!!! B-Big Sis is touching my th-third b-battery swiiiiiiitch!”
Pastrache didn’t understand Nello, not right now. Once she had finished her unprofessional inspection of the vehicle, she crawled her lovely and well curved body right out.
“Geeggg! M-my hips are stuck!”
“P-Pant Pant... Cough... W-want me to roll backwards and—“
“NO NELLO! DON’T MOVE! IF YOU DO, M-MY HIPS WON’T ONLY BE CRUSHED, B-BUT MY BREASTS WILL POP!”
“…………………… ………………………………… ……………… …………………..”
As if too scared to move, Nello didn’t dare even breathe a single word. He waited for the Half-Elf to grunt, whine, maybe moan, before she squeezed her hips out from under Nello’s tracks.
The grace of a mechanic at work (#AlwaysThanksYourMechanicWithChocolate_FerreroRocherOkay).
“... Cough…Now, we check your internal organs.”
“Heeeeh! W-we’re not done yet!?”
“Nellooooooooooooooooooooooooo.”
<< You used LEER on Nello. It was super effective! His Emotional Defenses sharply fell. >> << Nello's current status is: SCARED BEYOND ALL REASON. Please seek counselling. >>
“…………………P…Please be gentle—BUGYAGFFFF!”
Pastrache tried to be nice to her dear friend. She felt bad for stepping on his body to climb up to his head. But he was a 2.5 meter tall tank, she had to step on the ladders and his body just to reach the hatch on top.
She would see two iron hatches, one for the regular crew to enter and exit, and one that looked like it was meant for a spotter, or an extra machine gunner should the former Soviet Army had installed another anti-infantry weapon on the top of the tank alongside the onboard one.
Having entered Nello before she knew how to gain access. She would turn the circular metal handle with some extra elbow grease and pull it open. It was a pitfall of a drop, about one leg deep. This was measured with her legs, one that would make her suitable for gravure if she was interested.
“Okay, I’m going inside.”
“Did you take your boots off?”
“…………………………………………………………"
<< You removed LEATHER BOOTS from inventory. Your defense has decreased. >>
"Cough. Okay, now I’m ready to go inside.”
“Big Siiiiiiiiis.”
Forgetting that what she was essentially entering another friends house, Pastrache quickly took off her long leather boots and left them to sit outside of the tank. With only her bare feet and leg warmers, she dove inside.
“NYAAAAAAAH!! (OxO)”
*FOOOMP*
Somehow, she missed her footing, and ended up landing in the driver seat of the crew compartment, right onto her cute round @ss.
“…Big Sis?”
“You saw nothing. You heard nothing. You didn’t wake up this morning!”
“…………………………………..O…Okay…(How can I see inside myself?)”
On the outside, the T-34 Soviet tank waited patiently as Pastrache explored inside of him. All the while, a bird fluttered down to sit on the end of his iron barrel.
“……I never knew ravens looked so lazy. She fell asleep the second she flopped onto my nose.”
Somewhere in another universe, fighting in the middle of the First World War in 1917, a certain Raven Witch sneezed really badly.
(https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/21723/a-raymonds-raven-the-exploration-of-magic-in-world/chapter/312451/entry-6-talk-of-magical-warfare-over-dinner-salmon)
“E-everything okay Big Sis?”
“Nello, you have too many controls insides of you. It’s too confusing. Also, even your manual books are too much for me to comprehend. Look! It’s thickness matches the girth of my forearm! Not to mention, it’s all written in wear symbols and awkward faces!”
“…Russian…I think they wrote everything in Russian.”
“Then this manual is no good to me.”
“…Want me to translate for you?”
“Oh Nello is so sweet, but we have work to do. No time to dilly dally.”
“… Um…Okay…”
So the next hour and a half, the Half-Elf continued to explore every nook and cranny of the T-34 Soviet Tank. Meanwhile, the said tank friend with a lazy raven sleeping across his tank like a drunk salaryman at one’s doorstep, was making very strange engine noises.
“Nnnnnggg! B-Big Sis…n-no, n-not again!…Y-you can't touch there……M-my dials and g-guages a-are super sensitive---Aaaaaaaah!”
“N-Nello? Wh-why do you suddenly sound like a girl in a messed up R-Rated novel?”
“I-I don’t knooouwuuwuugggggggguuaaaaaaaannn!”
And the Half-Elf's unprofessional technical examination continued for the next three and a half hours.
"Please don't touch me in wierd places anymore, Big Sis! M-my levers, gears, and radio equipment are not a toy! Th-they're super fragile!"
"Not until I figure out the mechanism of your fire nose! And you have to teach me how you shoot stuff from your eyes (anti-infantry gun). Do you understand, Nello!? This is important for the sake of our future teamwork!"
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh (TxT)."
...Hang in there tovarisch (friend).