: Dear Diary…. I’m bored. I’ve been lazing around in the city for too long, I need to pick up a job for Nello and me to do Or else, I’ll start taking ongoing psychological damage due to a negative Boredom Effect. Maybe, my life points could hit zero even while eating strawberry short cake… I don’t want that. Not only is strawberry shortcake declicious, it would be a tragedy if my body collapsed and fall face first with a splat. The last thing I want, is to go out with whip cream all over my face, neck, and cleavage... No one will bother to help wash it off, not even the horny girls in the guild. Sob. ::
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“Hello, Miss Cogez. I would ike to take this job.”
“…I-I do! Let’s elope!”
“….What are you talking about? I would like to process this job and--What the f**k! Wh-who designed paper tacks in the form of a wedding ring!? Who, just f**king who!? Is this some new level of 'got punked'!?"
“H-heh!? Y-you mean th-that ring is fake!? A plague on the @sshole who...I-I mean. Let's get a bed---COUGH! I-I meant, p-please give me your room number---D*MMIT! WHAT IS THE ID NUMBER OF THE MISSION YOU'RE TAKING!"
"...Miss Dwarf Clerk, why are you screaming at me. I'm a Half-Elf, I can hear perfectly."
"Ahem. Sorry, I have a cold. Cough."
"..............."
Pastrache tilted her head.
Maybe it was because she didn’t have a good night sleep while camping inside of Nello’s stomach (crew compartment), and ended up lying in an awkward angle. So the muscles in one side of the neck were sore.
Which is why she had her head turned in an odd angle, so there was no way should would have noticed the red hue on the Dwarf Clerk's face. The Guild Receptionist was also breathing heavily for some reason, but the Half-Elf a magical fan mounted on the desk was blowing into her collarbone. Curioser and curioser.
“Miss Clerk, isn’t it close to 2 degrees right now. The front knob was practically frozen, to the point where I had to kick the door open with my boot just to get inside. Is there any reason for turning on a fan right now?”
“…What fan?”
The Half-Elf turned her body, as her neck was still sore. Lo and behold, there was no magic-powered fan on the counter top. Just a short 150 cm Dwarf Woman acting as the Guild Receptionist who sucked her lips in as it to ensure her inner whispers don’t come out.
“…Miss Clerk. Are you alright? You look feverish.”
“You must be dehydrated to the point of becoming delirius, M-Miss Half-Elf. Please seek counseling at the nearest water cooler.”
“F**K! Wh-why does the world think I’m this trouble teenager who ran away from home with a rebellious rage!? Do I look like a delinquent!?”
“(No. A goddess of hot passion.)”
“You’re mumbling. You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”
“Again, go drink some water or your status will be affected. Hydration is important to keeping your hot body healthy…Cough.”
“How the h*ll am dehydrated when it’s next to freezing out there!? I just walked into the guild to bask in the heating conditions just two seconds ago! Please, pay attention!!”
The Dwarf Woman standing behind the receptionist desk gave a deep sigh. The first half was to relieve the standard stress in her job as the Guild Clerk. The second half was because how much frustration she felt bubbling in her chest every time her eyes wandered to the Half-Elf decorative buttons on her bosom.
Maybe to calm herself, she was counting about how many buttons does it take to cover up the Adventurer’s body every morning…and how many buttons does it take to free them during the night and—
“Miss Clerk.”
“I-I wasn’t staring at you, woman! I-I don't swing that way!”
“No, no. I think I change my mind on this job request. I just noticed in super fine print that it requires all female participants to strip to their underwear for safety checks before meeting with the client. I will pass on this and find something else…Please burn this one.”
“…Right.”
F**k… Just…f**k.
That was what the Dwarf Clerk was thinking right now. As the word itself was a two way street, it could either be a cuss or………… The important thing to take note of is how troubled the Dwarf Woman was while she was tearing up the official job request papers that the Half-Elf handed to her.
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
…All the while resisting the urge to smell the corner of the papers to get a whiff of the perfume from the target of her affection.
“…Ah! N-no good! E-ever since I told my brother how I felt, I-I can’t stop thinking about it. I haven’t been able to sleep properly because my wild fantasies keeping me awake in my bed! D*mn it, I shouldn’t have confessed to him!”
For the record, for first time readers, the Dwarf Clerk told her brother how she felt, about a certain Half-Elf. No, she wasn’t into sis-bro kind of fantasies. Nah, she’s more girl-girl…f**k…
(#Proof: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/21953/nello-pastrache-2nd-the-reincarnation-story-of/chapter/325416/side-story-the-dwarf-little-sister-and-draenei)
“I-I can’t tell her, I seriously cannot tell her tha-that I...that I've fallen for her and her hot features! That I want nothing more than to share a bed with her! F**k! I-I'm a woman! Not a desperate man like my brother! And he's a Draenei blacksmith for crying out loud! N-no! I-I'm different, I'm a dwarf. I-I have to control my emotions...Pant pant pant...God-d*mn it, why do us non-human beinds have ridiculous libidos!?"
“Sorry. I came—“
“GYGAGGFFFUU!?”
“—back with another request. This one is about the Mandrake Infestation in the next town so it looks doable to……Miss Clerk, please wipe that white stuff off your face! Even if it’s just shredded paper, the men in this guild will still fantasize in the wrong direction!”
“…O-of course. I-I’m not like those perverted @ssholes that I-I discipline everyday…Pfuuu…C-can you help me, I got some in my hair.”
"Sigh. Why do I always have to take care of everyone's messes??... Come on, show me your face."
".....Cough."
The Dwarf Clerk turned red, but when she got startled and tossed the shredded paper bits into her face the moment Pastrache returned, her honest feelings were buried under the plastered confetti. Maybe it was from perspiring in being close to the target of her affection, that 99% of said confetti was glued to her forehead, cheeks, and lips.
As plucking off half-wet paper was difficult, especially when torn to the size of snowflakes, she leaned forward close enough for the Half-Elf to help pluck them off... For some reason, she can't stop thinking about how the other girl's breath smells of Lilac and Cinnamon...sh*t, the Dwarf was fantasizing again! C-change the atmosphere!!
“…Hey. Pointy ears."
“One second, you still got some white stuff on your lips.”
“Forget the papers on my mouth, I-I’ll take care of it… I’m curious, are you with anyone right now?”
“Hmm? What do you mean?”
“Do you have a lov—Party member>”
“Oh, yes I do. His name is Nello.”
“WHAAAT!?”
<< Dwarf Clerk used SCREECH. Your Defenses sharply dropped! >> << You received -100 Psychological Damage. Please seek counselling for your hearing. >>
Pastrache Mooneye jumped when she heard an unearthly scream. It was loud enough to force the windows shudder violently, as if being bashed by a heavy storm. Fortunately, they didn’t shatter or else it would be a tragedy for everyone insides, especially the lady adventurers sitting at window seats in the food hall.
…God, the massacre to their faces, both natural and plastic—Oh God.
Despite how loud it was, the sound came in a too quick of burst. It was even faster than a sonic boom left behind by a Jet flying at Mach 1. So Pastrache didn’t realize it came from the Dwarf Clerk who had this stupified look on her face. A few of the shredded papers fell into her tongue and she spat it out like hair.
“Pffft. Pffft. N-Nello? Wh-who the h*ll is, Ptooo, Nello!? Y-you never mentioned him before!”
“Oh yes. Nello's a real sweetheart. We're best friends!"
“Chance.”
“What?”
“Go on. Tell me every bit of his information so I can search him in our arcane profile system. Cough.”
“Oh, he’s not a registered Adventurer like me. He’s a partner who I work with in my recent Guild Missions.”
“… Not registered? You do realize that’s its extremely dangerous for an un-authorized Adventurer to take on job requests. You may remember signing forms in your initial contract about receiving health coverage and life insurance in case of an accident, that you would receive full benefits in case you got into a fatal circumstance, like being runned over by a dragon or dire rabbit.”
“…Was there such a segment in my contract? I thought I just had to sign on the X and then I get my Adventurer’s License.”
“I said ‘sign here’ AFTER you finish reading the ENTIRE contract listing and understand what benefits and losses you will experience in case of an emergency or cruel incident! Please don’t tell me your low Intelligence Score applies in real-life situations!”
“…………………………..You do realize the contract was as thick as my thigh.”
“I don’t care. The copy you signed is still in my desk drawer. Read it before you go on your next guild assignment.”
“…I got plans.”
“Yeah, with me. Now get back here you tramp!”
“THE – F**K! HOW IS ESCAPING THROUGH THE FRONT DOORS FLAG ME AS A WOMAN WHO SPREADS HER LEGS TO ANY MAN OR WOMAN!?”
“I-I MEAN SCAMP! D*MN IT, STOP MESSING WITH MY MIND ALREADY YOU RIDICULOUSLY HOT HALF-ELF!! WHERE DID MY MACE GO!? I NEED TO DISCIPLINE YOU PROPERLY!”
“HELP! CLERK BRUATLITY! CLERK BRUTALITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”