:: Dear Diary… I feel very bad. After knowing Nllo for about two weeks, I realized I haven’t yet given him a proper present. Normally, I wouldn’t have to be all gung-ho about it to a regular friend back at my home town (if I had a friend that was). It would, or at least I felt, be quite awkward. I only know you for three days,.. Just thinking about it is quite awkward. But Nello is different, Dear Diary! He saved me, more times than I could count all of my fingers and my thumbs. So it’s only fair, I give him something nice. Consider it his birthday present…….Oh right, when is his Birthday? Wait, do Tanks from Stalingrad have an birthday party!?.. I'm confused now! ::
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“Nello. Do you want a boy or girl?”
“…Um…Are you asking me being reborn as a boy or girl or…Um…I think I would like to be a girl”
“…N-no. I-I meant do you want a boy or a girl pet!?”
“……..Girl.”
“Are you seriously listning to me, Nello!?”
Pastrache didn’t want to be mad, but she ended up being scto-raving mad. She had spent a good three hours sitting around on the soft grassy patch in the middle of a hidden forest, right outside of the capital city gates of the Guild she belonged to.
Sure, she could stay within the walls and enjoy the magically air-conditioned streets and have a nice Pistachio Colada Gelato on a hot Sunday afternoon, but she can’t. She just couldn’t.
Not because she hated the children who would run around and pinch her cute @ss. Not because the men would run around and pinch her cute @ss. And definitely not because the weoman would charge her and grope her butt in broad daylight.
Her friend was a tank. Bringing him inside would already be a provocation of war. Not to mention, the capital city gates was too small for him. There was no way he had any change in his ‘pockets’ to pay for the damages.
So, the responsibility would rest on his beloved Big Sister’s shoulder, Half-Elf Girl Pastrache. There was no way she had enough change in her pockets to pay for the damages.
“Listen to me Nello. I’ll be very frank. I want to give you something nice, a present for all the hard work you’ve done in my previous quests and adventures. Why, if it weren’t for you, I may have been the mother of 10 Dire Wolve Babies and three Manticore Infants.”
“……..Wow, Big Sis is amazing. I didn’t know you can have that many children.”
“Nello. I love you, but don’t make me punch you.”
“Nuwoooh! W-wait! B-Big Sis! I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to say it if it offended you! I-it’s kind of a compliment to-to Russian Women. O-or I think that’s what the soldiers in the Red Army say wh-while they st-stand at guard! P-please don’t hurt me!”
Nello, the T-34 Soviet Tank that stood about 2.5 meters tall and carried about over 900 pounds worth of 42 mm armor plating, trembled. Kid you not, his 3 meter long nose and including his anti-infantry machine gun were shaking like twin children about to face the greatest nightmare of their lives… the step mother straight from a bad fairy tail (#NotAllModernStepmothers).
Despite his size, his absurd armor class, and being 12 times higher level than the Half-Elf Adventurer, the tank did not dare to provoke the small girl with a killer look in her eyes. The expression of a scorned woman ready to shove more than a rolling pin up someone's @ss.
“…Cough. Anyway, back to the main topic at hand. That is more important.”
“Oh thank the Tsar.”
“But I won’t forget about this… ever.”
“Oh Tsar please help me!”
The T-34’s cannon nose continued to shake as it turned its turret head away. With the voice of a small quivering child, it tried not to gnash his ‘teeth’ together to much.
“Wh-what d-do-do you plan on getting m-m-m-m-me fo-for a p-p-p-present?”
“Didn’t you hear me the first time, I was thinking about getting you a pet!”
“…Oh…Um…Are you sure? I-I don’t want to… you know, run it over with my tracks by accident.”
“No, no, no. I’m not thinking about a Shiatsu, Scottish Terrier or even a Calico Cat the size of your palms... my palms. Ahem. No. The smaller they are the more troublesome they get. Also, they’re too young to be potty trained so…”
“……Uuuuh. I-I don’t want them to get my head dirty!”
Thinking of something so gruesome no teenager, hospital worker, or government official should ever experience in their life time, the T-34 dropped his tank barrel as a way of cringing and shutting his eyes close. A self-defense mechanism (#Freud!).
“Th…then what do you plan on getting for me, B-Big Sis? I-if not a small cat, dog, or…OH! OH! WH-WHAT ABOUT A MINK!?”
“…What’s a Mink?”
“Uh…I-it’s kind of like a ferret, but it’s not really. I-it can be white, silver, or black. Uuh. It can swim, but always walk around like a fox. Only it’s not like a giant sturgeon or a real fox.”
“…Nello. I don’t understand your logical pattern. Are you sure you’re not making this up?”
“I-I’m honest! I saw a Tank General actually carry a real mink on his shoulder! It would climb up and down his leg and body, it can even salute when we sing the Russian National Anthem!... But, I don’t know why its sister looks so quiet and so still while hanging on the General's wife’s neck. They both look warm.”
“Moving on.”
“B-Big Siiiiiiiiiiiiiis!”
And like any good younger sibling, the T-34 Tank whined as the Half-Elf Big Sister curled her finger through her blonde sidetail in thought.
“As much as I would like to make you happy, Nello, I don’t know what a mink is. If I don’t know it, that means it’s exotic, and if it’s exotic, either it’s under the endangered list or super expensive”
“…….Um…….Big Sis…My cannon shells can regenerate over time, maybe it’s because I was reborn and given a slightly different body…If it helps you could sell those.”
“No! O-of couse not! I won’t sell Nello’s organs just to buy you a Mink for your birthday! I’m not that cruel of a Big Sister!”
“Waaaaaah. Big Sis is so kind…But… my artillery shells aren’t really my organs.”
Pastrache folded her arms across her waist, clicking her tongue. The same way a mother would when she noticed a broken vase at her son’s feet, and he was trying his best to hide the M4 Carbine airsoft rifle behind his small back.
Adorable, but no.
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The Half-Elf took a minute to calm down, rocking her fine legs up and down across the grass. It wasn’t the side of a bed, but moving her feet every now and then kept her blood circulation going, and it refreshes her mind. She kept staring at her nice colored stockings that go up over her knees and stop halfway at the thighs. Instead of wearing a skirt, she was wearing a pair of skin-tight hot pants made of thick material.
Good for battle, sprinting, and flexible♥.
...If only it had enough armor points to deflect random men pinching her @ss and random women groping her more than her butt!
“Seriusly! Do the women of this current generation have any morales about respecting another’s body!?”
“…Big Sis, I’m confused now.”
“Your birthday present, let us focus on that.”
“B-but it’s not really my—Okay I’ll be quiet.”
Pastrache was being thoughtful in trying to think of the best gift to offer to Nello. In order to focus, she shot him a quick look to make him quiet. She wasn’t mad, it was just that she disliked unnecessary noises when she pondered. It would disturb her train of thought.
Like her mother when mulling over house finances.
“Before I can properly decide, I need you to answer me a few questions.”
“O-okay…Gulp…”
“Question One: When were you born?”
“…….Um….January 7… 1943! Yes! R-right in the middle of the Battle of Stalingrad.”
“Stop.”
“Meap.”
Pastrache then thought deeply, to the point where she played with her long blonde hair that was tied into a side-tail.
Curl, curl, curl, unravel. Curl curl curl, unravel. The way it bounced was like an animation mimicking a cute thunderbolt tail of a certain electric mouse... or, the tail of a pig for those who are of Western descent.
“I see now. Alright, second Question: Do you like big or small.”
“Big. Definitely big. I mean… I don’t want to accidentally run it over. It has to be big so I can see them.”
“Hmm. You’re right, otherwise it would be a waste of a gift.”
“…Right…I think.”
“Last question Nello and be honest: ... Boy or girl.”
“Girl.”
“A-at least think it through!!!”
“H-heh? B-Big Sis, w-were you insinuating th-that I should have went with boy?”
“…Unless you’re into that kind of thing.”
“Girl. I want a girl. I’ve seen too many boys running around with guns back in Stalingrad. I-I want a cute girl like Big Sis.”
<< Nello praised you. You received -10,000 Emotional Damage. >> << WARNING: Your Heart's status is Prone, everyone had advantage over your body. >> << Your Relationship with Nello has increased to 81%. Stop fantasizing and get Married already! >>
“Bbggffffggg! H-hold on! L-let’s not drag me into the c-c-c-criteria…(Uwa-uwa-uwa. I-if I belonged to Nello as if he were a man… kyaaaa…he’ll break my body in the honeymoon).”
“Hmm? I didn’t hear you Big Sis.”
“I love you~☆.”
“Oh! I love you too Big Sis!”
Despite saying those words that would make woman swoon (only), Pastrache focused on hiding the red color on her face while attempting to calm down. Now that she had acquired the necessary information, it was time for the final conclusion.
Her answer was.
“I know the best present to get for you Nello! You will definitely like her!”
“Oh wow. Do I get a new custom paint job for my wheels and…………………………….Who's her?”
“A lusticore.”
“………….What’s that.”
“You don’t know a Monster Girl when you hear one?”
“…………………………………………….Um…No…Should I?”
Pastrache stared up at Nello with her innocent blue eyes. Nello stared back down at her with his innocent 76.5 mm tank barrel. Without further ado, the beautiful Half-Elf girl got up to her feet, and whisper something to Nello’s ‘ear’ on her tip toes.
If he was a real boy, he would have exploded red… in fact his V12 Diesel Engine ignited so hard, he turned red hot all over like a hot poker fresh out of a fireplace.
“H-HEH!? A-A GIRL THAT DOES THIS AND THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?”
“Of course. That’s what Monster Girls are for. It's all a rage amongst single men these days.”
“W-wait. B-Big Sis! A-are you saying you’re going to b-b-b-b-buy me…a wife?”
“No, no, no. A monster girl. They’re not as common around here as like in other continents outside of the kingdom, but they’re still a popular commodity in some capital cities. Why, I’ve seen Adventurers going to specialized shops and stations to find Centaur Knights as their mount, a Golem Girl as their companion and familiar, some times a Minotaur to be a combat partner AND doubles as a housewife. I don't get what's all the fuss really, but they look super useful!"
“H-heh!? Heh!? Heeeeeh!?”
“You don’t believe me? Come with me to Station Nine and Five Quarters in the West and I’ll show you!! They got all kinds of Monster Girl pets you could choose. Lake Nereids, Flowery Alraunes, Elementals Spirits, Thunderbird Warrior, to even my personal favorite - Bunny Girls! But those are hot on the market and super expensive, otherwise I would have got one for myself as my personal maid to handle my inventory and finances!"
"B-Big Sis! I-I don't think I-I can handle all of this and that o-or get used to someone else touching my armor. Y-you can't--"
"Ah right. There's even intelligent Slimes who take on the shape of a woman to make their masters happy, super hit amongst the woman in my guild! Oh, now that I recall I heard there is a 50% off on all Succubus-type purchases this week... We have to go, while the sale is still active! I would be saving up on a lot of money if I was able to get you a company who would never ever make you feel lonely again. She'll know how to make you real happy like the other boys! Once she gets to know you, she'll definitely warm up on your sweet spots!☆"
“AND BIG SIS I-IS OKAY WITH THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?”
Nello said those words as loud as a small child could and as hard as a T-34 Soviet Tank could handle without blowing off the ears of his best friend. Pastrache the Half-Elf Girl gave the tank a silent look, before tilting her head.
“Of course I’m willing to pay to buy you a nice Monster Girl. I only want the best for Nello! I always feel bad for leaving you alone whenever I go into town to do something. So getting you a Monster Girl Pet to babysit you while I'm away is the perfect gift Big Sister could give you! Also, I heard they're exceptionally good at cooking, housekeeping, and cleaning. For someone as heavyset as you who always charges through mud and pon water, a vigorous Lusticore with a decent upperbody strength and legs is the right match for you!"
“B-but, but, but, th-that’s too much for my b-body to handle! M-my engine will definitely explode!”
"Come on, let's get going! I'm excited to see what special offers I would get if I were to purchase a Monster Girl during the Summer Season! Who knows, we might get two for the price of one!"
'BIG SIS! PLEASE CONSIDER MY FEEEEEELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!"
...
In the end, Pastrache went with buying a silk scarf for Nello. Everything else was super expensive.
"Uwaaaah. My nose is so warm. I like this present very much, Big Sis! Thank you!"
“(Scaredy Cat. Can't even handle a simple Monster Girl)”
“H-heh? Heh? I-I can't hear you”
“How’s the scarf Nello? I hope 100 GP was worth it. (music)”
“…Y…Yeeeeeeeeeeeesss Siiiiiiiiir (TxT)\.”
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