:: Dear Diary… I’m not sure if I’m having second thoughts about this mission, or if I ate something questionable from that street falafel vendor. I honestly think I made a stupid decision. As much as I don’t hate Werewolves as much now, there is still the problem that I will be facing vampires. Vampires of all things! I don’t care if they’re overpowered as f**k! H-how can I face my favorite celebrity ever again after this fiasco! I-I might end up being banned from his fan club! I-I'll no longer get the weekly subscription where he poses for different photo companies! A-and next week his is all-awaited swimsuit session---GYAAAAAAAG! ::
[https://66.media.tumblr.com/572f45ad3ccb6622a0d8a75591cbb043/tumblr_pnr1czw6jv1wqnuuso1_1280.pnj]
<< Course Destination Set. You are now 13 kilometers away from Londonbabi Capital City. >> << Weather Report: Fair Winds, 10 Knot from South, Partial Clouds and Sun, Precipitation 9%. >> << Please make a left turn at Little Angeles Road and enter the St. Regina Highway. >>
“Hey Nello, do you think I’m stupid?”
“… Big Sis is making fun of me. You called me stupid.”
“N-no! Of course not!! I said if you think I was stupid!?”
“Uwaaah. B-Big Sis is mad! D-did I say something wrong?”
“MAKE UP YOUR MIND NELLO! ARE YOU MAD OR SCARED!?”
“I-I don’t know any moooooore!”
Pastrache clicked her tongue. As much as she didn’t want to do that to her beloved little brother (non-blood related), she felt her body couldn’t hold back in making such a sudden gesture with her micro-body language.
It can’t be helped. It was difficult to talk to a T-34 Tank while it was running its V12 Diesel engine at full power. The background noise it gave out was equivalent to a chorus of chaninsaws matching to the rhythm of Vivaldi’s Spring Movement… (#SpreadTheWordStartATrend).
Especially if they're marching through the bottom of this deep rock formation that was split into this complex chasm. The sound of the engine would be echoing back and forth between both sides of the rocky structures, as if the prelude to an all out gang-war on the street.
It would make sense for the Half-Elf to be screaming at the top of her lungs, even to ask for someone to pass the salt. To help improve their link of communication, the protagonist would often pat her arms across the Tank's turret head.
Good old fashion telegram system.
“Nello!—Break—Listen to me!—Break—I am—Break—The Stupid one—Break, End!”
“… You want ice cream?”
If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“No! I said I’m the stupid one for taking on the mission! The MISSIOOOOON!”
“… Oh! You mean helping the Doggy People?”
“YES! That’s exactly the point!”
“…… Why do you think the Doggy People are Stupid?”
“ME! ME! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
The Tank didn’t understand why Pastrache was shouting. As it was born with a loud engine, his ‘hearing’ was used to the rumbling of his own heart… core… tummy—Whatever he counted as a critical organ in his… hollowed iron body. But the negative feedback from the rock formation was so bad, not even the Tank could properly hear the Half-Elf screaming into his ear… or… the DT anti-infantry Machine gun that he called ‘an eye’.
“Big Sis! I think it’s a great idea we’re going to be fighting bad guys to save the doggy people! They look so nice!”
“I believe you Nello! But I’m still having second thoughts! To be honest, I like Vampires!”
“… You like pineapple?”
“P-Pina Colada? Nello! H-how can you think of alcohol at a time like this? Aren’t you a minor!?”
“… I-I didn’t mine in a cave for coal and silver. I’m a Tank of the Russian Army… Why did Big Sis forget about it?”
“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Th-this screwed up game of Telephone is terrible! Terriblllllle!”
<< You used SCREECH on Nello. He became super confused. >> << His Driving Skills has decreased by 12%. >> << Please shut up Miss Back Seat Driver and seek counselling. >>
The Tank kind of made a sudden swerve left and right.
The motion was akin to a driver falling asleep at the wheel, only to wake up from the glow of another car’s headlight blinding him. All because a certain Half-Elf was losing her marbles and was pulling at her own illustrious side-tail like some kind of stress relief toy.
“I said I like Vampires! Okay! Judge me all you want! But do you know how hot they are!? Especially my favorite actor, Edwin Coleman! Since I was a wee lass, he was the foundation of what my ideal husband would look like! Tall, pale, sharp fangs, and a smoking hot body! I mean, if you had been reborned as a Girl tank, Nello, even you would agree how ripped that man is!”
“…….. I don’t want to rip people. That’s not nice.”
“N-no! Not the action of ripping! B-but how he looks when he’s—F**k it, I’m hungry!”
“… Why do you want me to shoot the mountains? They’re innocent.”
“Are you seriously listening to me!?”
“… You want me to jump now?... But… I don’t know how. I might fall over and break my leg.”
“…………………………………………………………………”
In the end, Pastrache let out a sigh. Realizing how difficult it was to have a candid conversation with her beloved little brother (again, not blood related), she just shut up and patted the base of the vehicle’s 3 meter long cannon as if it were the space between a cat’s ears.
“…………………………………………….”
“…. What did you say, Big sis? I can’t hear you!”
“I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING NELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
3 hours later, they were able to exit out of the deep chasm and were back on the open road. The noise disappeared to allowed them to have a normal conversation... But then again, the Half-Elf had already lost her voice by then.