:: Dear Cough Diary… I feel sick. I want to call in a day off, but theres to much things I have o keep up with for my next mission. For instance, I’ve gained, cough, a lot of experience points, but I haven’t yet properly upgrade them. I have excess Character Points that needs to, cough, allocated, so I should get that adjusted… Ah, I also have to fix Nello’s sheet. Cough. He’s a tank, so even if he can open his screen he has no hands or tentacles to be able to, cough, majpulate his screens… Man, I so want to call a sick day to—Cough, Cough, Hack…day…Sniff ::
[https://66.media.tumblr.com/572f45ad3ccb6622a0d8a75591cbb043/tumblr_pnr1czw6jv1wqnuuso1_1280.pnj]
<< You have returned to Londonbabi Capital City. >> << There has been an Update to the Ethereal System While You Were Away >> << UPDATED: You can now claim rewards and experiencet points for Daily Guild Check-Ins. >>
“...I’m here to, cough, check in. Now, cough, show me the money.”
“Please put on a mask and wash you hand in sanitizing liquids! It’s sitting right on my counter pointing directly at your breasts! A-and why do you smell like a fishing pond gone bad!?”
The Dwarf Clerk of the Guild was not pleased.
She had been overworked with hundreds of requests from the various Adventurers in the Heroic Guild. 10% of the request were urgent, an emergency, or at most serious enough to claim insurance documents as well as regulating what items from a fallen comrade would be inherited by his ‘designated party member’.
90% of the time were guys trying to ask her out for dinner, ask her out to an explicit movie, ask her out to their house and bump each other a lot...or asking her out to do it right on the counter.
…….80% of that 90% were people from our world...but due to confidentiality – we won’t name names…Cough.
Today, however, there was a 0.5% that threw her off completly. And she could be found standing in front of the desk, dripping with water, and covered from head to toe in questionabl sea grass and algae.
“My Goddess, you look like hammered sh*t.”
“I, cough, really am not in the mood to imagine how that would actually look like. No, please don’t show me your mirror. I intentionall left my compact mirror back with Nello to avoid seeing my face in the reflection. I-I'm not ready to see an alternate me Yeti... Sh*t! Y-your eye glasses are reflective! Take them off! Take them ooooff!"
“Nwuoooh!? D-don’t just pull at my face you d*mn poiny ears! A-are you the type of girl to has a fetish over other woman letting their hair down with a flick of their heads!? Wake up and eat some cough drops already!”
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The Dwarf Clerk was about to go on her long awaited lunch break and planned on not returning until at least 2 hours later. However, right before she could slap down the 'this register is closed' - A certain Half-Elf stumbled in and intercepted the GHuild Clerk before she could officially leave her desk.
Probably, 100% of the people reading this have that same feeling of annoyance and hopelessness... right?
(#WorkersArePeopleAndTheyEatToo!)
“Honestly, what happened to you! If I hadn’t recognize that it was you, I would have screamed ‘OMG, a Wraith is invading!!’ and all these gung-ho Paladins would have ganged up and banged you up with more than their hammers and holy light! You know how eager they are to really fight an undead horde! Do you want matchlock bullets up your @ss!?”
“…………………..Aa….aaa…AGUCHUUUU!”
“Let me ghuess. You were too busy holding back your sneeze. You didn’t hear me.”
“… Was it important? Sniff?”
“No.”
“Sorry. It’s my fault. Nello warned me that the road we were going through had too many ponds and the ground was uneven. I was in a hurry to get back here and have a desperately needed shower, that I forced him to just rush through it all. I overestimate my Dexterity Score, and ended up Crit-Failing my Balance Checks....... Shi--BICHUUU!"
“….. Is that why you smell like wet dog?”
“Yes. And no, I don’t have a fetish to frolick with German Shephards.”
“Sigh. All unnecessary matters aside, what do you want from me. It’s already 3 hours passed my original lunch break. I plan on combining both my lunch and dinner break at once, so by the time I get back to work, I only have to wait another hour before I can go home... I don't know if you're lucky you grabbed my two hands, or else I may not have returned to the counter within the next 6 hours."
“……………………….I……..I…….”
“… Yes. I am waiting for an apolo--”
“PIKA—CHUUUUUU!”
<< Critical Hit. You dealt Dwarf Clerk -100 Infection Damage. It was super effective. >> << Target Status is now Dazed. You have Advantage over her. >> -----
<< __ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!__ >>
~Headshot!~
You used an Improvised Weapon to deliver a critical blow to the Enemy.
"...Sniff...Sowbyy..."
“F**K YOU POINTY EARS! PUT ON A MASK ALREADY! GAAAAH! MY GLASSES ARE FOGGED UP HARDER THAN WALKING INTO A STEAM ROOM! S-SOMETHING'S STICKY ON MY CHEEK! EW! EW! WHERE IS MY ALCOHOL!? WHERE IS MY ALCOHOOOOOL!?”
After facing what was essentially on the level of a Flu-based Blitzkrieg, the Dwarf Clerk swallowed her pride and her stress as he dragged the sickly Half-Elf into her private lounge…
And went to town in drowning her hands and face with sanitizing alacohol.
Please, be careful of your eyes lady.